In Need of A Numbing Agent

Hello out there

willysunny — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 00:38:49 GMT

Just thought I'd pop in and say hello. Life here is swell, the kids are growing big and strong and keeping me on my toes. And Adriaan is adorable as ever.

I'm always thinking about you guys! I miss you all and the fabulous LJ community. I hope you all are doing wonderfully well.

xx

Willow

willysunny — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 03:39:04 GMT

So wonderful to hear from y'all!! Because some have asked, here are a few pics I snapped this evening...

Mr. Phineas, 1.5 years

Ethan, my pre-teen

Phineas = Loud Mouth

Phineas is a little ruffian. He snuggles and pinches and kisses, and is often found climbing or hanging off something dangerous (not that I leave him alone for long). He's constantly curious and extremely coy and keeps me in fairly good shape. It's challenging and fun!

Ethan is turning into a teenager waaay too early. It's hilarious and slightly frightening. Thankfully he still runs through the house in his undies and curls up in my arms.

And they adore each other. Thank GOD.

So. Anyone have any stories they'd like to recommend?

HOLY CRAP.

willysunny — Wed, 16 Jul 2008 17:39:34 GMT

So I've been away for a long time. I've missed a lot. And I've missed you all - and this fabulous community - immensely.

And as soon as I saw this audition ad, I knew I had to link it here...

Spider-Man A New Broadway Musical
Directed by Julie Taymor.
Lyrics by Bono and The Edge.

This is CRACK.
Who the HELL thought of this?
Who the HELL was in this board meeting?
What the HELL is the plot?
Will there be a complicated crossover between Harry and Peter?
Who will see this with me?!?!?!?!

A Teensy Family Album

willysunny — Tue, 02 Oct 2007 18:26:11 GMT

It's so lovely to hear from y'all. I'm still commenting - mostly stealing time when the kiddos are sleeping. Thanks so much for not giving up on me.

Because a few of you have asked...here is a teensy family album. Phineas and Ethan are ridiculously big, it's kinda scary - in a good way.

This was take a while ago. Ethan feeding Phineas is first bites of food.
Phineas now eats breaded eggplant and lasagna. No baby food for him.

Ethan out on my father's boat.

Two goofballs.

Phineas looking thoughful...or at my boobies.

My big baby.

Never thought I'd be a mother of two. And now I wouldn't have it any other way.

What's UP?

willysunny — Sun, 30 Sep 2007 15:15:09 GMT

I've been running around in my PJs - washing dishes, doing laundry, washing diapers, vacuuming...

...and then checked my email, and saw a nudge from Tara. And I felt that nudge.

So. HI EVERYONE! How are HELL are you? I've missed you all more than you know. I wish there was a way to catch up, even a little bit.

Oooh. Maybe there is.

I'll tell y'all one thing that I've done in the last few months - and if you feel like commenting with one or two or ten things that you've done, go for it!

For me...

I made cheddar cheese. Don't ask me how it came out, though. I won't know for 4-6 months. But it looks very cool, all waxed up and shiny.

YOU?

Thank you!

willysunny — Wed, 02 May 2007 15:32:57 GMT

I just flipped on my computer to many, many thoughtful emails. Thank you for your warm birthday wishes.

I'm sorry if I've caused concern. I really didn't mean to abandon LJ. I just got swept up in my new life (working-mom-of-two) and trying to figure out how to balance it all.

Life is wonderful, peaceful, frenetic and absolutely non-stop. Phineas is HUGE. Ethan is HUGE-ER. And my boobs...well. Don't get me started.

I miss you all. I promise to try to write and read and catch-up more often. That's my plan for this summer.

In the meantime, THANK YOU for not giving up on me.

Big brother and little brother.

Bumming around while I garden.

Phineas answering the phone when I just couldn't make it there in time.

I have no comment.

Snuggle time.

HE'S HOME!!!

willysunny — Tue, 06 Feb 2007 13:45:59 GMT

He's home! He's home!

Ethan won't let us near him.

He also constantly gives us advice on how to raise him.

This is about as close as I'm allowed to get.

Thank you all for your support, prayers and warm wishes. They truly helped. Finny's been home for a week (I've been quiet because, well, I've been nervous) and already he's gained approx 3/4 of a pound. The same amount of weight he gained after four weeks in the hospital. Which goes to show...home is where he should be.

Life is very, very cool.

More Finny pictures

willysunny — Thu, 11 Jan 2007 01:37:31 GMT

Just wanted to send along new pictures of Finny. He had a couple of apnea spells this morning (oy), but then had a quiet afternoon. The new theory is that he might have reflux (which Ethan had as a preemie). If that's the case, either he'll grow out of it (as Ethan did) or he'll require medication. I'm hoping he just grows out of it.

Sleeping Beauty

Ethan holds Finny for hours on end. Finny sleeps through all their dates.
The whole thing is too adorable.

Love to all of you. Thanks again for your support.

XOXOXO

Follow-up Post re: Phineas

willysunny — Wed, 10 Jan 2007 16:06:00 GMT

I apologize for not replying to your warm wishes re: Phineas' birth. It's actually been a tough week for Master Phineas - a few surprising apnea spells (when he stops breathing and his heart-rate drops), bad jaundice, lots of spitting up and bowel distention, and no interest in nursing/bottling (so he's being fed through a tube). So I've been sitting by his incubator, begging him to behave, begging him to get a little bigger and stronger. As of now, he's lost a little bit of weight, but nothing concerning. I've been pumping every three hours which the nurses feed him along with a "breast milk fortifier" for his iron and bones, but he's decided he's allergic to it, and has been spitting and crying every time they mix it in, so for the last 12 hours they've left it out.

It's tough. And looking into his incubator reminds me of looking at Ethan six years ago, which is a trigger for lots of tears. I know he's going to be fine, but I just wish it didn't have to be this way. He doesn't deserve it.

I will update my journal with new pictures soon. He's so unbelievably beautiful, it's breath-taking.

Thank you all again for your support and sweet words. I truly appreciate it.

Meet the newest member of our family...

willysunny — Fri, 05 Jan 2007 04:23:42 GMT

(REPOSTED WITH "WORKING" FINNY PICTURES)

On January 3, 2007 at 6:31PM, Phineas Asher burst into the world, pink, crying, and breathing all by himself. He was born at 33 weeks and 5 days (4 weeks beyond Ethan's due date) during a full moon. He is 4 lbs, 3 oz and measures 18 inches in length. He's feisty, sweet, very aware and has no problem stating how he feels (he's already screeched at me when trying to nurse and not getting the amount he wanted). In other words, he's perfect. He does not require the NICU (neonatal intensive care unit) but rather a lesser intensive "continuing care" nursery until he grows a little bigger and learns how to suck and swallow without exhausting himself. My guess is that, if all goes well, he'll be home in 2-3 weeks.

It's amazing to not be on bed rest anymore, to not be in the hospital anymore, to not worry about his birth date anymore, to finally meet this little boy who has kept us in suspense since the middle of November when he decided to drop head-down into my pelvis and scare the crap out of all of us. But instead he hung in, waited longer than any of us expected and forced me to eat more than my share of hospital food until he deemed it time to introduce himself. At which point, I was suddenly and quite unexpectedly thrown into a mind-blowing 30 minute labor before he pushed his way into the world, faster than the doctors expected (who had just gotten me settled in Labor and Delivery and left when my cervix changed from 6-10 cm in 5 minutes flat, who were forced to run back into my room and catch Phineas - aka: the "the bullet" - before any of us had a chance to catch our breath), fast enough that Adriaan missed the entire thing. He was still on the road when Phineas was born and it only took him 34 minutes to get to the hospital.

So, without further ado... here are a few photos of Phineas (aka: the bullet), Ethan (aka: Ninja Superhero Big Brother) and family.

Love you all!

Willow

Bed rest and a ficlet

willysunny — Sat, 25 Nov 2006 01:32:32 GMT

Happy Post-Thanksgiving to those who celebrated it! Happy Friday to one and all.

I’ve been committed to bed rest. Phineas is being far too curious about the outside world and we’re now trying to bore him into staying in me a couple months longer. So far, the plan is working. And for that reason, I wrote an original ficlet for the newest pre-member of our family. It's so nice to be writing again.

***

Title: Grateful For Tiny Things
A/N: Original
Dedication: For Phineas

***

A bony elbow brushes against my ribs, sore from abuse, and I inhale deeply. It’s 2:00 am and he’s flipping and spinning again in dizzying circles, stretching and kicking out his tiny feet, testing, tasting, hiccuping, pressing his palms against membrane and muscle and stretched taut skin. Then a heavy, familiar pressure squeezes my womb, my heart. The sensation is so low it’s frightening. I roll onto my left side and slide a pillow between my knees.

I coo to him late at night when I’m unable to sleep, when the tiny contractions ripple out from my center, my cervix. I take another pill, another deep breath and scold him, beg him, promise him a future of only warmth and softness and kindness if only he’d calm his curiosity, his restless motion. It’s a promise I will never be able to keep and, deep down, I sense he knows it.

The clock ticks and the television flickers and I turn away from time and place. I turn inward because there is nothing else to do anymore. Resistance is futile. The body is weak. The mind is dangerous. I try to peek inside myself and picture the womb like a tent, seemingly thin protection, tiny from the outside, but once unzipped revealing a warm space large enough to live in for weeks….hopefully months. I massage my stomach and sing a hushed lullaby and, amazingly, the movements slow, then stop altogether. I’ve won this round, but I know there are many more to come.

I carefully turn back – to the soft tick, the lights and sounds, the reality of this tiny chapter in my life – and count my many blessings.

I am thankful for tiny things that, strung together, create a perfect circle, unending, round, like my belly, like this baby’s bottom bulging in my womb, reminding me that I am still very pregnant.

Seven weeks to go…

Miss you all!!!

There's one life, and there's no return and no deposit...

willysunny — Tue, 19 Sep 2006 01:19:51 GMT

I begin this entry cautiously, almost with trepidation...

So much has happened this past summer, an alarming amount of sadness that has literally overwhelmed me. I have been without words for so long. Even now I sit here, wondering how to describe it all.

Please note: this is not a post that seeks a response. This is merely an explanation, a reply to all the wonderful emails I've received, all of you lovelies who have questioned my whereabouts, the pregnancy, my health, etc. I miss you all greatly. Yet, lately, I've been focusing on just what is right in front of me...my son and husband, my wriggling fetus...and the many who have had a tougher time than I can express in a single post.

At the end of June, my sister was attacked at gun point. She was robbed, sexually assaulted, then forced to lie face down on the cement while the man stood over her, pressing the gun to her head.

This man was caught. He is going to prison for a long time. That being said, my sister's entire life changed in a single evening.

This is where most of my time has been spent, caring for her, housing her, talking with her for hours and days on end. It's never enough. She's moving forward slowly, but this horrible incident has changed her life...not forever (my sister hopes), but for a very long while.

Beyond this, some close friends have gotten very sick, very suddenly. One friend is now recovering from a mastectomy, another from having his prostate removed. And our cousin found out a month ago that he has pancreatic cancer and probably won't live to see the end of the year.

To quote my father, "It's ENOUGH already!"

It truly, truly is.

So that's where our energy has been spent, and will continue to be spent for some time. All of these wonderful friends are, in essence, our extended family. So we're sticking it out...together!

In happier news...

Ethan is doing tremendously well in Kindergarten. He's LOVES his teacher, loves art and music and physical education; he loves his playgrounds and the library and the older kids and...well, everything. We're relieved and thrilled!

We discovered a couple of weeks ago that we're having a BOY!!! His first and middle name is all picked out: Phineas Asher!! He looks gorgeous in the fuzzy ultrasound and he wriggles about like a pro. My weekly injections are moving along and, structurally, so far, I appear to be carrying him fine. At 18+ weeks, I'm exhausted and moody (and my skin is stretching so damn much!), but I'm also feeling mighty GIDDY. We know we're not out of the woods yet; heck, I'm not putting the nursery together until I'm at least 30 weeks. But the feeling of moving forward is wonderful.

Adriaan's exhausted from all the whip-cracking I've been doing. In just the past weekend, he's stacked five cords of wood and moved three rooms around. This coming weekend, he's excavating cement blocks from our walkway. Yes, I'm nesting. Yes, I'm probably very annoying. But it NEEDS to get done now before the winter, before the baby. At least that's what I keep telling him. :)

So that's it in a nutshull. I don't know when I'll be back to regular entries on LJ. It may not be for some time. Or it may be in a week. Right now, though, I'm cuddling up with my friends and family and not letting them go for a long, long time.

In parting, I leave you with my very favorite song. It's taken on a different meaning these past few months. Personally, I think it's one of the best songs ever written:

I Am What I Am
from the musical La Cage Aux Folles

♥

Special thanks to my hubby for the link.

willysunny — Fri, 28 Jul 2006 16:08:37 GMT

So. Who hasn't yet read this article?

'Dan Radcliffe to star in EQUUS.'

Oh. Yeah. And he'll be nude. But really, who cares because...EQUUS!!! I love this play!

Right. Back to work. Big concert tonight.

Oy vey.

S-T-R-E-T-C-H

willysunny — Wed, 19 Jul 2006 21:16:18 GMT

Now at 10 weeks, things are really starting to shift...forward.

All the pregnancy websites warned me this would happen sooner than later. I just didn't realize it would happen THIS soon.

I would love to introduce you all to...my belly.

Ethan and my belly have become fast friends.
Please ignore the exhausted looking woman at the top of the picture.

During my visit with the midwife yesterday, I finally got to hear the tadpole's heartbeat. And proceeded to burst into tears. But that's just another day in the life of being INCREDIBLY hormonal. I cried the other night while watching A League of Their Own. It seems like the "in" thing to do when one is pregnant. That and take your partner's head off for no reason whatsoever. Which is fun!

Other than the above (and sleeping), it's been quiet around here. I don't have the energy to write much, even when the story strikes. I barely have enough "uumph" to shuffle to the loo at 2:00 AM. I'm hoping this exhaustive state passes (at least for a little while) in the next couple of weeks.

You all have been in my thoughts. Please know if you ever need to reach me during this comatose time period, you can always email me.

*hugs*

♥♥♥♥♥

Fun with pregnancy

willysunny — Mon, 03 Jul 2006 15:00:49 GMT

This is a bit of a "TMI" post. If you don't want to click on it, no worries.

The midwife was wonderful, very supportive, really listened to me. She made me feel calm and comfortable...

...until we started to talk about a pregnancy plan.

Let me start off by saying, I'm a very active person. I can barely sit still for 5 minutes at a time. What's more, I've spent the last three weeks convincing myself that this pregnancy is going to be different.

Well, it's going to be different, that's for sure.

1.) I can't lift my son anymore. I almost broke down when she said that to me.

2.) I can't lift ANYTHING over 15 pounds. WTF?!

3.) At 20 weeks, intercourse stops. (We'll still have lots of fun, though!)

4.) I will most likely be stitched.

5.) And might receive progesterone shots once a week.

This is, of course, for a limited amount of time--only seven months and then the baby is born. The concern is that there is a chance I might go into labor earlier this time, lots of mothers with my type of pre-term history do. So the midwife is taking every precaution.

The good news!! I'm getting an ultrasound on Friday to 1.) check the baby's due date and 2.) get a structural baseline to work from. So this means I get to see the baby, see it's little heart beating. I invited Adriaan to come along, I think it will be good for both of us to see the light at the end of this tunnel.

In the meantime, I'm eating a bagel (YAY!) and keeping a very positive frame of mind. Thank you all for being there, and for being such wonderful, supportive friends. I truly appreciate it.

More to come soon! And maybe a picture if I can convince the ultrasound technician to take one!

willysunny — Thu, 29 Jun 2006 02:35:21 GMT

At last. A drabble! That's something, right?

Harry/Draco, 200 words, rated-R

Stolen

Draco backs Harry to the wall. He slides his hand up Harry's neck and cheek and drags his thumb across Harry’s lower lip.

It’s cold in the hall, or dungeon, or wherever they ended up this time and Harry shivers each time Draco touches him.

The moments slip through cracks and between cracked lips and are swallowed in strangled breaths. Only later is Draco ever able to piece them together, sharp hips, white-knuckled hands, twisted clothes and the heavy scent that sticks to him, with him, long after he walks away.

He wishes he knew how to break it all down--each rushed, desperate movement, each silent plea, each wet, biting kiss-—break it all down into something familiar, controllable. Then he would know if this was real, because even as he pushes his thumb between Harry's lips, he doesn’t trust any of it. Not really.

Not yet.

Maybe one day he'll figure out how to destroy Harry, or trust him, or just block him out completely.

For now, though, he simply smiles and when Harry leans his head back against the wall, Draco slides down Harry's body, closes his eyes and tries to ignore the screaming inside his head.

breathes into paper bag

willysunny — Thu, 29 Jun 2006 01:27:12 GMT

Thank you coffeejunkii!!!!!!!

SPIDER-MAN 3 TEASER TRAILER

SPIDER-MAN 3 TEASER TRAILER

SPIDER-MAN 3 TEASER TRAILER

I WILL HAVE TO GO THROUGH LABOR AND DELIVERY BEFORE THIS MOVIE IS RELEASED.

HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE?!?!?!?!

PS: I'm loving Dark!Peter Parker's hair! Slick.

Morning Sickness and Harry Potter = OTP?

willysunny — Tue, 27 Jun 2006 22:53:47 GMT

#1: Who hasn't seen this article?

'Rowling hints Harry Potter might die.'

This woman is giving me a heart attack.

***

#2: I've spent the last couple of days completely nauseous and trying not to pass out while getting up to speed in my new job.

A couple of interesting remedies I've found for morning sickness:

1.) Sea Bands: Seasickness bands that use accupressure to quell the nausea. I put them on both wrists last night, slept and when I woke up in the morning, I ate breakfast!!!

2.) Emetrol: An over-the-counter medication that is safe for pregnant women (though check with your physician to be sure). It's basically sugar and carbohydrates.

Anyway, just thought I should share... :)

***

Right. I need to go take a walk before I talk myself out of it.

*yawn*

In which I blab about life. I apologize in advance.

willysunny — Thu, 22 Jun 2006 15:10:20 GMT

"Do what makes you happy. It doesn't have to makes sense to other people."
Warren Zevon

***

"Life is either slow and sweet - or transition crashing into transition. There is no happy medium."
Willysunny

***

1.) Tomorrow is my last day at the children's theatre. It's a little scary to think I might let something slip through the cracks as I hand over the reins. But I'm anxious to leave, to move on. It's been a long haul and I'm happy it's finally coming to an end.

2.) I start my new job on Monday. No break. No R&R. That's okay! I can't wait!

3.) As I head toward my seventh week, I'm experiencing the familiar woosiness and nausea. Most mornings I can be found lying on the couch, nibbling on a saltine cracker. When Ethan eventually comes downstairs, he crawls onto the couch, cuddles with me, and we moan in unison. Then we get up, get dressed, and start the day.

4.) Ethan's going through his own, unique transition. He's teary a lot, and clingy, always wanting me to carry him, to hold his hand, to stay home with him on a school day. It breaks my heart. One moment he's happy and goofy and tap dancing in the kitchen, the next he's sitting in my lap, clinging to me. I'm sure these reactions are a culmination of all the changes in our lifestyle, and I'm doing my best to hold him, rock him, kick the soccer with him, tickle him until he finally smiles. And then I need to hand him over to Adriaan so I can crawl back onto the couch and rest. I just wish my baby wasn't so sad, or that he could communicate what's making him so weepy. But the reason is probably too hard to articulate, hell it's difficult for me to articulate half the time and I'm in the throws of pregnancy. So I just keep rocking him, and making special plans with him (children's theatre, musical theatre, late night soccer, reading six stories before bedtime) and hoping he'll move through this stage.

Life.

It's a wild ride, y'know?

OH BABY!! OH BABY!!

willysunny — Thu, 15 Jun 2006 20:44:05 GMT

After sitting on some mind-bending information for a week, I thought I'd throw caution to the wind and let you in on a little secret.

I'M PREGNANT!!!

I'm only 5 weeks along, so I'm trying to keep my head about me. I've still got another 7 weeks to go in this first trimester, and...it's...still so hard for me to believe!

Currently, my baby is 1/6 of an inch and resembles a tiny tad pole. SOOOOO CUUUUTE.

Adriaan is speechless. And thrilled. And stunned. And a little shaky. It's adorable to watch him trip around the house.

As for me, I'm actually not talking about it much. I think I'm still in shock. Though today I stared down at my belly and gave it a little hug.

When we told Ethan, he insisted that we were joking. Then he sat on my lap and said, "Mommy. I'm excited about you having a baby in your belly. But I'm MORE excited about my new transformer." I cracked up. Good for him for being honest. *g*

So. Um. That's it.

I'm pregnant.

Oh! And I'm crampy.

Oh! And my breasts hurt.

Like you really need to know all that.

*clings*

willysunny — Fri, 02 Jun 2006 19:26:24 GMT

Sorry to be so out of touch. I've been contemplating a career transition for a few weeks...and have been a bit stressed about it. But that's all over now!!!!!

I JUST GAVE MY NOTICE AT THE CHILDREN'S THEATRE!!!!!!!!!!!

And I've accepted a job at a renowned music school, managing their operations, productions and marketing.

The perks...
1.) Not working for a freaking crazy boss.
2.) Flexible hours
3.) Ability to work from home
4.) Not having to arrange for after-school for Ethan when he goes to Kindergarten
5.) The Executive Director is so, so nice and very sane
6.) My colleagues are lovely, sweet, caring, witty people
7.) Being an integral part of the 2nd best chamber music school in the world!!

So. Yeah. I'm excited!

Just wanted to share. I hope y'all are doing well. I can't wait to hop back online and finally finish up my outstanding ficlets.

*clings*

My little boy's giving me a heart attack!!

willysunny — Fri, 26 May 2006 15:51:43 GMT

Ethan just announced some very exciting news that I HAD to share!!

Y'know? I really need a beer before I hear news like this. Springing it on me the way he did...I think I may have blacked out for a moment.

SCENE: After school yesterday

Me: *crawls into car with my boys* Hey baby love! How was your day?
Ethan: So much fun!
Adriaan: Wow. That's great! What did you do?
Ethan: *looks us straight in the eye* Mommy. Daddy. I have some really exciting news to tell you!!
Me: What? Tell me! Tell me!
Ethan: I'm getting MARRIED.
Adriaan: ...
Me: ...
Ethan: *beams*
Me: Wow. Um. WOW. You are? Er. To whom?
Ethan: Ilana.
Me: Okay. Wow. And, um, did you ask Ilana or--
Ethan: Ilana asked me.
Me: And what did you say?
Ethan: I said okay.
Adriaan: *cracks up*
Me: And when is this wedding happening?
Ethan: Oh. Not until we grow up.
Adriaan: Oh okay.
Me: Honey. Do you know what "getting married" means?
Ethan: YES! It means I can only kiss one person for the rest of my life.
Me: Wow. It sure does.
Ethan: *nods* Which is why we're waiting.
Adriaan: Good plan, my boy.
Ethan: But what if she starts wearing lipstick? If I have to kiss Ilana for the rest of my life and she starts wearing lipstick...yuck!
Adriaan: *cracks up again*
Me: *breathes into paper bag*

He was serious. Absolutely serious. He announced his engagement to my sister, then to my mother. Both women stared at him, jaws hanging open. He just grinned and went back to playing with his transformer.

And now. I have a question for you...

Do y'all remember your first engagement? If so, tell me, tell me!! I think I was 7. His name was Jacob and he was so unbelievably cute. Black curls that fell in his eyes. He was the hopskotch champion. And would you believe, we hooked up "in a more meaningful way" years later. Hee.

For a laugh

willysunny — Thu, 25 May 2006 15:12:49 GMT

This was just forwarded to me by a board member for the opera company.

I'm still giggling...

Theatrical Dictionary

Eternity
The time that passes between a dropped cue and the next line

Prop
A hand-carried object small enough to be lost by an actor 30 seconds before it is needed on stage

Director
The individual who suffers from the delusion that he or she is responsible for every moment of brilliance cited by the critic in the local review

Stage Manager
Individual responsible for overseeing the crew, supervising the set changes, babysitting the actors and putting the director in a hammerlock to keep him from killing the actor who just decided to turn his walk-on part into a major role by doing magic tricks while he serves the tea

Lighting Director
Individual who, from the only vantage point offering a full view of the stage, gives the stage manager a heart attack by announcing a play-by-play of everything that's going wrong

Blocking
The art of moving actors on the stage in such a manner as not to collide with the walls, the furniture, the orchestra pit or each other. Similar to playing chess, except that the pawns want to argue with you.

Blocking Rehearsal
A rehearsal taking place early in the production schedule where actors frantically write down movements which will be nowhere in evidence by opening night

Dress rehearsal
Rehearsal that becomes a whole new ball game as actors attempt to maneuver among the 49 objects that the set designer added at 7:30 that evening

Tech week
The last week of rehearsal when everything that was supposed to be done weeks before finally comes together at the last minute; reaches its grand climax on dress rehearsal night when costumes rip, a dimmer pack catches fire and the director has a nervous breakdown. Also known as hell week.

Set
An obstacle course which, throughout the rehearsal period, defies the laws of physics by growing smaller week by week while continuing to occupy the same amount of space

Monologue
That shining moment when all eyes are focused on a single actor who is desparately aware that if he forgets a line, no one can save him

Dark Night
The night before opening when no rehearsal is scheduled so the actors and crew can go home and get some well-deserved rest, and instead spend the night staring sleeplessly at the ceiling because they're sure they needed one more rehearsal

Green Room
Room shared by nervous actors waiting to go on stage and the precocious children whose actor parents couldn't get a babysitter that night, a situation which can result in justifiable homicide

Dark Spot
An area of the stage which the lighting designer has inexplicably forgotten to light, and which has a magnetic attraction for the first-time actor. A dark spot is never evident before opening night.

Makeup Kit
(1) among experienced community theater actors, a battered tackle box loaded with at least 10 shades of greasepaint in various stages of dessication, tubes of lipstick and blush, assorted pencils, bobby pins, braids of crepe hair, liquid latex, old programs, jewelry, break-a-leg greeting cards from past shows, brushes and a handful of half-melted cough drops; (2) for first-time male actors, a helpless look and anything they can borrow

The Forebrain
The part of an actor's brain which contains lines, blocking and characterization; activated by hot lights

The Hindbrain
The part of an actor's brain that keeps up a running subtext in the background while the forebrain is trying to act; the hindbrain supplies a constant stream of unwanted information, such as who is sitting in the second row tonight, a notation to seriously maim the crew member who thought it would be funny to put real tabasco sauce in the fake Bloody Marys, or the fact that you need to do laundry on Sunday.

Stage Crew
Group of individuals who spend their evenings coping with 50-minute stretches of total boredom interspersed with 30-second bursts of mindless panic

Assistant Director
Individual willing to undertake special projects that nobody else would take on a bet, such as working one-on-one with the brain-dead actor whom the rest of the cast has threatened to take out a contract on.

It's fun being an older sister

willysunny — Tue, 23 May 2006 14:06:29 GMT

I am so damn proud of my baby sister -- professional dancer -- Dance Magazine's nominee for best choreographer!!

My sister, a professional dancer of 10 years, recently went back to school to get her Master's. Halfway through her first semester, she was chosen from hundreds of dancers in the Northeast to dance in a national competition at the Kennedy Center. Only 30 or so dancers were chosen from across the country. Beyond that, she was nominated for "Best Choreographer" by Dance Magazine. It's sort of mind-bending.

Until you watch her dance.

Warming up in her hotel room.

I love this shot.

Right after her performance. She brought down the house.

This opportunity was a once-in-a-lifetime for her. She was rushed by adoring fans, smothered in business cards and received two job offers at elite colleges on the spot.

I am so, so, so proud of her. I just had to share.

Have a lovely Tuesday everyone!!

Happy Birthday, Inspiredlife!!

willysunny — Mon, 15 May 2006 18:10:14 GMT

I'm here. See! I'm here. And I miss you all!!

Title: A Delicate Display
Author: willysunny
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Rating: R
Disclaimer: It's all about JKR. I just like to make things up.
A/N: ~900 words.
Dedication: Happy Belated Birthday inspiredlife. (I'm working on a bigger story for you, but wanted to post this one for now.)

*

It was all a big mistake.

Harry didn't dare look over at Draco now, stretched out lazily beside him. Not when he could easily fix his gaze on the ceiling and pretend none of it had actually happened.

He was panicking, but this was to be expected. A twinge of guilt, a stab of fear deep in his gut, a sinking, smothering sensation that made him want to kick free from the blankets, from Draco.

"Just say it," Draco murmured, shifting closer and taking up most of Harry's pillow.

Harry thought hard, about the cracks in the ceiling paint, about the meal he'd have for dinner—

Draco bumped Harry's thigh with his knee. "Spill it," he yawned.

"It's nothing," Harry said, shaking his head. "It's nothing. It's just…"

"Me," Draco chuckled.

Harry's stomach twisted painfully. He needed a glass of water, or tea. Or maybe he'd brew himself a cup of coffee. That ought to take him a while.

"You know," Draco continued, "this actually isn't about me at all."

Harry looked toward the window. Brilliant rays of morning sun sliced through the blinds and trailed across the tangled pile of clothes on the floor. "Oh no?" he said as nonchalantly as he could.

"It's about you."

Harry turned to face Draco who gazed back, smirking. "No, it's not," he said through gritted teeth. "It's about us."

"If you say so," Draco said, shrugging his shoulders.

Heat rose in Harry's cheeks. He stared at Draco's self-assured expression, at his matted hair and swollen lips, at the way Draco watched him, closely, curiously. "It's just bizarre," he snapped. "Especially after all this—"

"Time?" Draco interjected, propping himself up on one elbow. "You can't be serious. If you are squirming away from me over the passing of time, I'm going to be very pissed off." He raked his hand through his hair; knotted clumps stood at attention and seemed to glare at Harry.

"But don't you at least find this odd—"

"No. I don't," said Draco, the grin falling from his face. "Because maybe we lost track of time. Or it snuck up on us. Or ran away and left us here, helpless, clinging to each other."

"That's not what I meant."

"Of course it's not," Draco said. "You meant it just as it sounded. Time passes, but nothing changes."

"No—"

"Or is suppose to change."

Harry's mouth fell open. He shut it quickly.

"And that's unfortunate," Draco said, eyes narrowing. "For you."

Harry had an urge to rap Draco in the mouth, just to knock the smug expression off his face. Draco's dry wit and sharp tongue still had a nasty habit of rendering Harry speechless and making him see red, and he repeatedly soothed himself with the simple reminder that Draco hadn't changed, not wholly. He was still that eleven year-old boy who enjoyed tormenting others, who craved an audience, even if it was an audience of one, even if the audience was his former rival, sometimes friend.

"Because maybe," Draco went on, "we're making this up as we go along, like we've always done. Only this time there are no rules or restrictions pressing down on us. This time we only have to answer to ourselves. And each other."

Harry couldn't remember the first time he'd started paying attention to Draco's words. It had definitely been by accident. He'd probably been over-tired and Draco had most likely taken advantage of him. But none of it mattered now because Harry was listening, and his resolve was crumbling, and beneath Draco's cutting statements, there was a grain of truth in what he said. And this fact terrified—and thrilled—Harry.

"People change," Draco said, voice low. "We have to allow for it." He slipped his hand beneath the covers and Harry's breath hitched, just for the briefest of moments.

"You have to allow for it," Draco said, shifting closer, "or you lose out." He wound his hand between the sheets until it brushed along Harry's belly.

Harry's legs fell open instinctively.

Draco silently tickled and toyed and scratched across sensitive skin until Harry relaxed, until he could barely breathe, barely think. He continued to stare at Draco's flushed cheeks and lips and the sharp edges of his shoulders. "How do you know all this?" he asked. It seemed like a logical question, one he would regret later.

"I don't," Draco breathed, sliding his leg over Harry's hips, pushing Harry down onto his back and crawling on top of him. "I'm just making this up as I go along."

Harry arched up slowly, into Draco, into his fingers and mouth and the truth of his words. Time wasn't ticking anymore and yet it was a new day. It felt surreal, like a haunting dream that would eventually dissolve, leaving him tingling, wishing…

He grasped Draco's wrists, dug his fingers into thin skin. "So there's nothing either of us can do about this?"

Draco grinned wickedly. Then he dipped down and kissed Harry; he rocked back and forth, crushing his hips over and over into Harry.

Answers were promises, tiny commitments of time and place, and Draco and Harry made love quietly, feverishly.

Rays of sun continued to cut across the room, a delicate display of shadow and light.