These fit so well they should be in a dictionary

I got these in an e-mail and wanted to share, they're funny:




A review of words that needed more explanation!!!



ADULT:

A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

BEAUTY PARLOR:
A place where women curl up and dye.

An addendem to this is a place of HOPE AND CHANGE... sometimes with the same results as we are getting with this administration!


CANNIBAL:
Someone who is fed up with people.

CHICKENS:
The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.

COMMITTEE:
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.



DUST:
Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST:
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

HANDKERCHIEF:
Cold Storage.

INFLATION:
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MOSQUITO:
An insect that makes you like flies better.

RAISIN:
Grape with a sunburn.

SECRET:
Something you tell to one person at a time.

SKELETON:
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

TOOTHACHE:
The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW:
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

YAWN:
An honest opinion openly expressed.


and MY Personal Favorite!!

WRINKLES:
Something other people have,
similar to my character lines.

Sunday Sketches - Fall Scene

I did a fall scene for Sunday Sketches. It's acrylic on cardstock (12" x 12"). I was inspired by some photos in the newspaper.

Fish Cakes with Leek Buds

I chose to have this meal for lunch at a Chinese fast food eatery the other day. It was a 2-item plate and I chose 'fish cakes with leek buds', and 'three cup chicken' as my items. I liked the fish cakes with leek buds but would probably pass on the chicken, as I noticed it had the skin still on it. I took half of it home as it was quite a large serving for $5.99.  According to wikipedia the 'three cup' name is derived from the 3 cups of sauces required to make the dish (soy, rice wine, sesame oil).

Paint Party Friday - Tesla roadster

For this piece I was inspired by a colourful photo I saw in the newspaper in the 'Car' section. It's a Tesla sports car. I did it on a decorated memo sheet lying nearby with watercolour pencils (7"w x 4"h).  Hence the fall decorations!

Linking to Paint Party Friday.

A New Toy

I was at my sister's house the other day and took this photo of a new toy she bought for her cat, it looks neat, doesn't it?

Hortensia Coneflower

This is Hortensia Coneflower growing in my garden this year. My friend S gave me some shoots to plant and they have done so well, hardy things.  My husband even mowed them down accidentally when they had just been planted but they came right back.

And isn't this a lovely, inspirational quote?


“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

― Theodore Roosevelt

At the Cardiologist

Here is a good quote from Darwin:

I took my mom to the cardiologist for her 6 month checkup, it went well, the next appointment is in 6 months.  I  noticed he didn't order an echo or ecg for next time, I think it must be cutbacks in the government health system.

While my mom was getting her ecg (this takes a bit longer than an echocardiogram), I decided to jump onto the office scale.  I complained to this middle-aged gentleman sitting nearby  about my weight as I got off the scale.  He said 'subtract 3 pounds for your shoes and clothing'.  We laughed and I told him that made me feel a lot better.  (I'm actually not overweight, just weight-conscious).  He told me he was a Trinidadian immigrant and spoke of the crime there since the oil boom in that island within the past 15 or so years.  Then he went into his appointment.

A fit-looking man (I would guess he was in his forties) then came to sit beside me.  We started chatting and  it came up that  he had had  a heart attack a year ago while travelling in Japan on business. He was in a rural area jogging at 5.30 am in the morning. He stopped a lady in a car but they  couldn't communicate. An elderly couple walking by called emergency and he was able to get to a hospital.  He says the health care in Japan was excellent, it may be better than in Canada.   The Trinidadian man by this time had lost his wallet somehow and was scurrying around.  He eventually located it in the doctor's office.  The younger man went into his appointment.

Then a frail-looking senior lady came in with her husband. We chatted and she told me she had a heart attack 6 or 7 years ago and  now she has got Parkinsons disease. Then it was time for my mom's appointment.  We found out the doctor's kids are already 10 and 15 years old.  He needs a new photo on display!

The conversation was a welcome distraction in a busy day and I was happy to meet some nice people. 

Problem Solved

I got this in an email and thought you might like it:

I was stressed out of my mind on the weekend. We couldn't get my son K's computer course material working on a laptop at home, we tried seemingly everything. I was worried he wouldn't be able to practice at home. He made an appointment with the lab monitor but then I happened to be watching one of the tutorial videos and it casually mentioned somewhere that we had to allow access to the software on our browser. It was a great feeling to have the problem solved. (Even if it just means we can now move on to other problems!)

K told me there are a lot of older people in his college classes. By that he means 25 years old, lol. My sister was telling me her 11 year old thinks 50 is ancient. It's all relative.

I walked to church yesterday morning, it was chilly and there were no birds singing! It's time to move into warmer clothes, we had some rain and the weather seems to have changed. The church sermon dealt with the topic 'a man cannot have 2 masters' meaning you cannot pursue both wealth and spiritual well-being.

We have an invitation to the family Thanksgiving celebration (in about 3 weeks), my husband M's sister is hosting as she often does.

Sunday Sketches - The Lighthouse

I was inspired by the clean lines of a photo I saw in the travel section of the newspaper of  Boston Lighthouse in Boston.  It's the oldest lighthouse in America built in 1716 apparently.
Acrylic on cardstock (6" x 6").

Linking to Sunday Sketches.

If I Had Known

Ripe crabapples in the neighbourhood at this time of year:

I came across this most interesting if morbid article in the newspaper earlier this week. It discusses 'how to deal with life as a widow'. It references a blog called 'if I had known'. There is even a website widowed.ca and a book on the topic 'Managing Alone: Your Trusted Advisor's Guide to Surviving the Death of Your Spouse'.  Even young women in their twenties and thirties have had to deal with this, it is not of course restricted to middle-aged and older people.

Paint Party Friday - The Fallen Petals

This piece was inspired by some fallen petals on my dining table. I had received a bouquet of flowers the previous week and they were almost spent.  In fact I had already removed some purple flowers. It's acrylic on cardstock (6" x 6").

Linking to Paint Party Friday.

First Signs of Fall

And here are the first signs of fall in the neighbourhood!

I think I must repeat myself every year, this is what I post last year around this time! And I did pick a small bunch of those grapes peeking out of someone's yard this time! Sweet little wine grapes they are!

I have to try this new recipe I found in Chatelaine magazine. It's for 'nutty green beans' and looks healthy and easy. You blanche the green beans in boiling water, then you toast some crushed nuts and breadcrumbs in a pan, add some butter then finally mix in the blanched beans for a few more minutes.

Who to Marrry? Priceless....

Got this cute one in an email....enjoy!

1. Who to Marry? You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. -- Alan, age 10 -- No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with. -- Kristen, age 10 2. WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET  MARRIED?  Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then. -- Camille, age 10 3. HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE  MARRIED?  You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. -- Derrick, age 8 4. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD  HAVE IN COMMON?  Both don't want any more kids. -- Lori, Age 8 5. WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A  DATE? -Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. -- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure) -On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date. -- Martin, age 10 6. WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS  SOMEONE? -When they're rich. -- Pam, age 7 -The law says you have to be eighteen, So I wouldn't want to mess with that. -- Curt, age 7 -The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do. -- Howard, age 8 7. IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR  MARRIED? It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to Clean up after them. -- Anita, age 9 (bless you child ) 8. HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF  PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED? There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, Wouldn't there? -- Kelvin, age 8 And the #1 Favourite is ....... 9. HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK? Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck. -- Ricky, age 10

Creative Tuesdays - Teatime

For Creative Tuesdays' 'Teatime' theme, this is what I created!  The sketch started off with some teabags then I thought it needed a teacup to go with it.  The yellow background was added to cover up some pink mistakes in my attempt to make the teabags translucent.  And that is how the painting evolved!

Acrylic on textured cardstock (6" x 6").

Peeking Over and a Video

I was walking by and couldn't resist taking a photo of this sunflower peeking over the fence at the end of the season.

My friend sent me this amazing aging video, if you have 5 minutes to watch it.

Sunday Sketches - Some Designer Handbags

I switched to a darker handbag for the fall season and have been noticing a lot of lovely bags in the shopping catalogs. I was inspired (Ralph Lauren)  to do this piece for Sunday Sketches. It's acrylic on orange cardstock (6" x 6").  Have a great Sunday!

Pink Roses

Happy Saturday!  The weather has turned cooler, fall-like.

Yesterday I was tempted to buy some lovely pink roses for myself at the store.  Then I decided I didn't really need cheering up!  Before I knew it I was donating $2 to a good charity at the cashier.  Later that evening, a canvasser knocked on my door soliciting donations for people with physical disabilities.  I thought, why not?  Then I thought of the $8 rose bouquet I didn't buy and decided it was better use of the money donating to these worthy charities.  I did get a tax receipt for the latter donation.


I also have this to share today. Do you have this problem? I usually don't worry about it, thinking the match will show up sooner or later!  That statement seems to have a double meaning, lol.

Paint Party Friday - Beverwijck

For Paint Party Friday, I'm featuring a piece called 'Beverwijck', inspired by an early New York Dutch Settlement in the 1600s.  I also incorporated a Rose of Sharon plant in the foreground that I have used in a few previous pieces.  I added some clouds to complete the painting.  Acrylic on textured blue cardstock (12" x 12").

Homemade Strawberry Jam

Before my daughter L went back to school, she brought us some homemade strawberry jam she had helped her boyfriend's mom make. It's yummy!  It's that preserving time of year.  I've never made jam for preserving, L says it's easy...but I am worried I may not sterilize properly.

Pickled Golden Beets

My friend S brought me some pickled golden beets the other day, I was delighted as I loved them fresh. So I can use these in salads or whatever.

We walked by a Farmer's Market recently and this man had black Russian radishes and green radishes on sale, which I had never seen before, have you?  He also had regular radishes and lots of other vegetable goodies.

Cute Halloween Deco

Congrats to Rafael Nadal for winning the US Open last night! He won about $3 million dollars in prize money, but for him, it must be the thrill of the victory itself.

I took my mom to the dentist yesterday. She has to take antibiotics about an hour before she goes since she is a heart patient. It's to prevent bacteria from infecting the heart.

I saw this in the stores recently and thought it was cute! No, I didn't buy it.

Happy Monday

I just have a photo of a beautiful weed 'arrangement' I noticed on the sidewalk while walking the other day. One of my sisters was not impressed with this, she said she fights with them too much in her garden.  Happy Monday!

I noticed in the newspaper that Lego sales are up 13% due to them targetting girls. I found that interesting, good for them!

Sunday Sketches - The Squirrel

It's the time of year when the squirrels and chipmunks are scurrying around with their nuts, scampering up trees. I saw this squirrel in the road the other day and was inspired to paint him amidst some decorative grasses. He was holding a nut. It's an acrylic (6" x 6") on cardstock. Enjoy your Sunday!

Linking to Sunday Sketches, thanks to Alexandra for always graciously hosting.

Cute

Have a great Saturday!

I'm busy trying to help my son K settle into the local College academics. He has a non-verbal learning disability which compromises his Math and English. On top of that, he is still in Summer socializing mode. Well, one day at a time, we will see what comes out of this.

Paint Party Friday - Mama Continued

For Paint Party Friday, I saw a bunch of photos on email depicting various animals with their babies.  I did a Penguin Family last week.  This week, I decided to show these porcupines I drew in watercolour pencils.  It's a greeting card  (4 1/4"h x 5 1/2"w). 

DNA Analysis

Isn't this cute? I forget where I got this from.

We had some good friends over for dinner this past long weekend. One of them underwent voluntary DNA testing from 23andMe company. His wife refused to participate although they would have gotten a 20% discount if she had. I think I've written about this topic a few times before. I'm obviously fascinated by the topic. Anyway, our friend was equally fascinated by his results (he received quite a few pages of data). He is in his mid-fifties and it told him was that he has a slightly higher than average risk of developing Type 2 diabetes. There were no major frightening discoveries for him. However he received interesting information on his ancestry. He had to mail in a small amount of saliva to have the test done, and he said it was surprisingly hard to come up with a centimetre of saliva. Something to think about, you will be spitting forever!

I feel that as this DNA analysis gains in popularity, they will make stunning improvements, in say even 5 years. I'm still not ready to do this, are you? I already know we have an abundance of heart problems and some cancer in the family.

Coral Bells

These coral bell plants are so pretty, and make me think of the fall season.  A few blog friends have been talking about not wearing white after Labour Day, and although I don't really make a point of doing that, it did inspire me to switch out of my white handbag into a darker coloured one!  That is my concession to the season.  I also put my artificial summer flowers away and put out the fall arrangements.

Coral Bells

Coral Bells

Creative Tuesdays - Pumpkin

This is my piece for Creative Tuesdays' 'Pumpkin' theme. The first thing I thought of doing was a pumpkin carriage, borrowing from Cinderella. So I went straight there with this fun theme! It's 6" x 6" acrylic on peach coloured textured cardstock.

A new handbag

It's the long Labour Day weekend here in Canada, with Monday being a holiday.

I wanted to show you this handbag I bought recently. The store was having a 75% off sale on these bags so my friend S and I had a good look. I ended up getting this one for about $25, regularly about $100. Who can resist a 75% off sale, not me! S said it reminded her of a Chanel bag, pictured below.

Chanel Bag

Sunday Sketches - Rose of Sharon Continued

Welcome to September (not!).  Well, it's almost time to bid goodbye to a wonderful summer and life must go on!

Last week, I showed a quick watercolour sketch of this Rose of Sharon branch that I saw growing in the neighbourhood. For Sunday Sketches this week, I decided to paint over this ATC in acrylic paints with a bit more detail this time. Here is the result: