How The Hell Did I Get Here?

2022 will be a real "rite of passage" for me. I turn 65 this year, which in Canada means that the government will now officially classify me as a "senior citizen" and I'll start receiving the Old Age Pension. THE OLD AGE PENSION! Yes, that's what it's actually called in this country.

It's a lot to wrap my head around. My body, not so much. It knows exactly how old it is.

Get Your Grinch On!

The Old Lurker posted this quiz over at his blog so I've decided to channel my INNER GRINCH today to answer it --

What do you hate most about Christmas?

This is an EASY one -- going to any mall in December. Impossible to park, endless throngs of shoppers, too much noise, too much hassle, too much EVERYTHING.

What is your least favourite piece of Christmas music?

I'm one of those weirdos who LOVES Christmas music. I would gladly listen to, sing and/or whistle Christmas carols every day of the livelong year, were it not for the threats of bodily harm or death made by those around me. However, EVEN I have a handful of Christmas songs that simply DRIVE ME UP THE WALL if I hear them -- Jingle Bells, The Twelve Days of Christmas, Here Comes Santa Claus and Up on the Rooftop.

Plus I'm IMMENSELY pleased that some radio stations are FINALLY removing from their music rotations that UBER-CREEPY Christmas song about sexual harassment, Baby, It's Cold Outside. About goddamn time, too. That song has irritated me for YEARS.

What traditional Christmas food OTHER THAN FRUITCAKE (too easy) is being sent down the garbage disposal?

Now, I'm also one of those weirdos who LOVES fruitcake. Any kind -- light, dark, fruity, nutty, deliciously moist or hard as a rock -- I love it all! Plus I also love mince pie, which is probably #2 on most people's hit list. I can't think of ANY traditional Christmas food that I would not eat and, in fact, not eat to excess.

Which animated TV Christmas special leaves you wanting to rip the wallpaper off the walls?

That old stop-motion animation classic from the 1960s, Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer. I've ALWAYS despised it. However, LOVE the song -- one of my faves!

What was your least favourite Christmas gift ever?

An LP of Wayne Newton's Greatest Hits that someone gave me when I was a teenager -- a TEENAGER, for gawd's sake. Danke Shoen for NUTTIN, Santa.

Who on your Christmas list is the hardest to shop for?

I find it relatively easy to shop for people because I pay attention to them throughout the year, taking note of their interests, hobbies, expressed likes and dislikes. However, I'm told by everyone I know that it's ME for whom it's impossible to shop because I'm a -- wait for it -- WEIRDO. I solve this problem by handing out detailed Christmas lists of specific items that I want. No more Wayne Newton albums for me!

How would you spend this time of year if you weren't caught up in all the holiday madness?

You know, I actually quite LIKE Christmas. But I make a point of keeping things SIMPLE, precisely so I DON'T get caught up in the holiday madness. It's all the rushing about, overdoing things, overspending and unreasonable expectations that RUIN the season.

Anyone else want to do this quiz, either in the comments or on your own blog? I'd love to read your answers!

Nothing to Do and All Day to Do It

Thanks, everybody, for all the kind comments and good wishes left on my last post about being retired!

Some of you inquired what my plans will be to fill my time now. Well, my immediate plans are quite simple, actually.

However, I may break up this hectic schedule with a few snooze sessions . . .

. . . the odd crossword or two . . .

. . . some movie matinees with My Rare One and other friends . . .

. . . plus a few good books to read.

And I can lounge about in my jam-jams all day long if I want because now every single day is . . .

I may very well become more ambitious in the future but for now, all I want to do is live by this philosophy . . . .

Today is the First Day of the Rest of My Life

Happy New Year, everyone!

Guess what? I am now officially RETIRED!

After 10 years working part-time in high school/university and 35 years working full-time in my chosen profession, I have finally kissed the workforce GOODBYE and taken early retirement! For the first time since 1972, my life and my time are ENTIRELY MY OWN AGAIN!

WOO HOO!

Tiger Tiger Ice Cream!

A quick follow-up note to last week's post Twenty Questions Times Two --

Before that post, I did not realize tiger tiger (or tiger tail) ice cream is only available in Canada. But all the mystified comments from American and British readers taught me otherwise! So just to let everyone in on the secret of how it tastes -- tiger tiger is a strongly orange flavoured ice cream with a thick swirl or stripe of black licorice in it. YUM!

In an understated and restrained manner, Wikipedia simply notes that tiger tiger ice cream "is popular with children." I take this as a subtle and somewhat snide suggestion that tiger tiger's flavour might be considered (shall we say) too garish for a more sophisticated adult palate. Well, FEH to that assessment. All who are young at heart enjoy tiger tiger ice cream!

Twenty Questions Times Two

Here's another quirky quiz that I swiped from Anne Marie in Philly over at From My Brain To My Mouth. She told me "DOOOOO EEEEET!" so how could I not?

Links within my answers usually lead to old posts of mine on that topic, if you're a masochist who wants more gruesome details.

1. Are you named after anyone? Debbie Reynolds. That's what I get for being born in the 1950s.

2. When was the last time you cried? Chopping onions.

3. Do you like your handwriting? I have beautiful handwriting because I'm so old we were taught and actually practised penmanship in school.

4. What is your favourite lunch meat? I do love a nice deli-style corned beef on rye if I can get it.

5. Do you have any kids? Not that I'm aware of.

6. If you were another person, would you be friends? Hell no, I wouldn't give that bitch Debra She Who Seeks the goddamn time of day.

7. Do you use sarcasm? See #6.

8. Do you still have your tonsils? Yes, last time I checked. However, I seem to be missing 18 inches of colon, in case anyone finds it lying about.

9. Would you bungee jump? I second Anne Marie in Philly's answer to this question -- FUCK NO!

10. What is your favourite cereal? Probably Multigrain Cheerios. I'm so boring.

11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Always. My Rare One never does but I've learned to leave that issue alone.

12. Do you think you're strong? Strong like bull, baby.

13. What is your favourite ice cream flavour? Tiger tiger (also called tiger tail).

14. What is the first thing you notice about people? If they have a nice smile. No, really.

15. Red or pink? Pink is better. Red usually means a communicable disease of some kind.

16. What is the least favourite thing you like about yourself? Nothing. It is SUCH a burden to be perfect. My Rare One might disagree on this point so don't ask her, okay?

17. What colour pants and shoes are you wearing right now? My green Kermit the Frog pyjama bottoms and blue-and-white fleece slippers. I know -- ROWRRR!

18. What was the last thing you ate? A protein bar.

19. What are you listening to right now? Eurythmics Greatest Hits CD.

20. If you were a crayon, what colour would you be? Burnt Sienna. I just love the name. SO much more evocative than "brown."

21. Favourite smell? Wild clover growing on the prairies.

22. Who was the last person you talked to? Prime Minister Justin Trudeau. He asks for my advice ALL the time.

23. Favourite sport to watch? Hockey, of course.

24. Hair colour that's real? Yes, I have never dyed my hair. It used to be a beautiful chestnut brown but is now considerably frosted over.

25. Do you wear contacts? No. The thought of putting anything in my eye freaks me right out. I have only ever worn glasses as a consequence.

26. Favourite food? German pancakes with icing sugar and fresh lemon juice. Bet you didn't see that one coming! (Okay bj of Sweet Nothings, I know you did!)

27. Scary movies or happy endings? Oh, happy endings every time!

28. Last movie you watched? Captain America: Civil War. Six times. I can't help it, I'm obsessed with Steve 'n Bucky.

29. What colour shirt are you wearing? Red t-shirt depicting the World's Largest Perogy statue in Glendon, Alberta.

30. Summer or winter? Any true Canadian will pick winter. It's hockey season, eh?

31. Hugs or kisses? Depends on who is on the other side. Sometimes a firm handshake is all they get out of me.

32. Favourite sweet food? Sky-high lemon meringue pie. That's My Rare One's fave too.

33. What book are you currently reading? Tuck Watley: Freedom Fighter Fighter by Bryan Pedas and Brandon Meyers (the boys from A Beer in the Shower). FUNNY AF!

34. What is on your mouse pad? Traditional Hawaiian art.

35. What did you last watch on TV? An episode of RuPaul's All Stars Drag Race. Go Ginger Minj!!!



36. Favourite sound? The beautiful song of the western meadowlark.

37. Rolling Stones or Beatles? The Beatles yeah, yeah, yeah.

38. What is the farthest you have traveled? Tahiti and French Polynesia.

39. Do you have a special talent? Ask My Rare One *wink*

40. Where were you born? In a one-horse prairie town in the middle of nowhere, Manitoba, Canada.

WELL, I certainly feel like I bared my soul in THIS post! Hey, if anyone else wants to do the same, please feel free to steal the quiz and answer it too! I'd LOVE to read your answers!

Immortalized in Art!

Over the years, various talented blogging buddies have positively DELIGHTED me with artistic representations of myself and/or my beloved late cat HRH. Here's the latest portrait, capturing the essence of She Who Seeks in a dream jar, by LL Cool Joe of Coolness Captured. Thanks, Joey, I LOVE IT!

Perhaps it is now time, as in any fine art gallery or museum, to mount a curated retrospective of the She Who Seeks/HRH Collection, as I grandly think of these works in my own mind. So here they are. Enjoy!

Francie of A North End Journal depicted me in all my gloved glory in one of her cartoons. It was a quick WALK-ON/WALK-OFF appearance, lol:

Barfly of Barfly F'art created a calendar page in my honour. I'm not quite sure whether those are supposed to be MY boobs or whether I'm supposed to be fondling SOMEONE ELSE'S boobs but either way, WOO HOO!

Bryan Pedas and Brandon Meyers of A Beer for the Shower elegantly and accurately captured the TRUE relationship between HRH and myself:

The boys also very kindly helped my face to remain ANONYMOUS in this group portrait of my get-together last summer with Jim of Ocean Breezes, Ron of From Sophie's View and Sophie their dog:

And Anne O'Leary of O'Leary Miniatures IMMORTALIZED Her Royal Highness as a Pirate Queen, which of course captured HRH's true inner spirit TO A TEE.

I expect the National Gallery of Canada to contact me ANY DAY NOW about featuring this retrospective in their upcoming exhibition schedule.

I'm Always Up for a Challenge

Hi everyone -- I'm just back from a week in Manitoba and will be coming around soon to catch up on all your blogs!

Before I left on my trip, Leeanna of Can we have a new witch ours melted issued a "what's in your purse?" challenge to anyone who was brave enough to BARE ALL in front of THE BLOGOSPHERE. Hey, you don't need to double-dog-dare ME, girl. I'm ALWAYS up for a challenge!*

*Disclaimer on Advice of Legal Counsel: Please be advised that, in actual fact, NUMEROUS EXCEPTIONS DO APPLY to that recklessly overbroad statement. So don't get your hopes up, any reader out there who is about to challenge me to post nekkid photos or my kinkiest sexual fantasy or something like that. Yes, I'm looking at you, Pickleope.

So now, hang on to your hats, kiddos, cuz you're about to discover just how BORING I am, LOL!

First of all, here's a photo of my "lug" brand purse. I've carried remarkably similar versions of this basic black purse for 35 years. It looks sufficiently conservative and therefore professional, goes with everything, no fuss, no muss. I just keep replacing these purses with a new doppelganger every time they start to look past their prime. Keeps my life simple.

And now, here's what's inside it, from top to bottom, left to right . . . .

Top Row: my wallet (also "lug" brand), a small wallet containing a gazillion loyalty cards that I never use but hang onto anyway (gawd alone knows why), a small rock painted with a Triple Spiral design sacred to the Goddess, two protein bars, my chequebook, a calculator that I've also had for 35 years, and three pens swiped from various hotels.

Middle Row: ID wallet, a change purse that I bought last time I was in Maui, mints, bank books, a pad of note paper.

Bottom Row: lip gloss moisturizer, more mints (and here I just want to emphasize that my breath is no worse than the average person's, okay?), a folding comb/brush, car keys and house keys.

Alright! I pass this challenge on to any reader who wants to reveal their DEEPEST, DARKEST PURSE SECRETS too. You know who you are.

Driving a Stolen Bucket List

Not only did I steal this quiz from Toni at Wandering and Wondering, I stole her post title too! But that's okay because she's just as big a thief as I am. She stole this quiz from Bob, who stole it from Anne Marie at From My Brain to My Mouth, who stole it from Travel Penguin . . . .  So feel free to steal it yourself if you feel like playing along with the Bucket List Quiz on your own blog!

Please note: (1) my own comments are in italics; (2) links in the comments lead to selected posts from this blog's archives, if you want more gory details

(  ) Shot a gun [clearly this is an American quiz]
(X) Gone on a blind date [with a guy named Suzuki -- no, not Dr David]
(  ) Skipped school [not me, I was a good girl]
(  ) Watched someone die [and I hope I never do]
(X) Visited Canada [again, clearly this is an American quiz]

(X) Visited Hawaii [Maui and Oahu]
(  ) Visited Cuba
(X) Visited Europe [England and Italy]
(  ) Visited South America
(  ) Visited Las Vegas

(  ) Visited Central America
(X) Visited Asia [Japan and South Korea]
(  ) Visited Africa
(  ) Visited Florida
(X) Visited Mexico [Mayan Riviera]

(  ) Seen the Grand Canyon in person
(X) Flown in a plane [seriously, who hasn't? apart from my 90-year-old mother]
(  ) Served on a jury
(X) Been lost [but now I'm found; was blind, but now I see]
(X) Traveled to the opposite side of the country [both East and West]

(  ) Visited Washington, DC
(X) Swam in the ocean [well, paddled my feet in the Pacific]
(X) Cried yourself to sleep [why the hell is THIS on a Bucket List?]
(X) Played cops and robbers [is Robin Hood and the Sheriff of Nottingham close enough?]
(X) Played cowboys and Indians [alas, yes -- too much American TV, gawd help me]

(X) Recently colored with crayons [in my Kliban Cats colouring book that I got for Xmas!]
(X) Sang karaoke ["Stop in the Name of Love" is my specialty]
(X) Sang a solo or duet in church ["O Little Town of Bethlehem" when I was eight or so]
(X) Paid for a meal with coins only [easy to do with Canadian loonies and twoonies]
(X) Made prank phone calls ["is your refrigerator running?"]

(X) Laughed until some beverage came out your nose [coca-cola if I recall]
(X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue [what Canadian hasn't?]
(  ) Had children
(X) Had a pet [I miss you, Her Royal Highness]
(  ) Been skinny-dipping

(X) Been fishing [pickerel a.k.a. walleye]
(X) Been boating [does a cruise ship count?]
(  ) Been downhill skiing
(  ) Been water skiing
(  ) Been camping in a trailer/RV

(X) Been camping in a tent [and hated every miserable second]
(  ) Driven a motorcycle
(  ) Been bungee-jumping (ripcord jumping)
(  ) Been sky diving
(X) Gone to a drive-in movie

(X) Done something that could have killed you [several times]
(X) Done something that you will regret for the rest of your life [a few things actually]
(  ) Rode an elephant
(  ) Rode a camel
(X) Eaten just cookies or cake or ice cream for dinner [many, many times!]

(X) Been on TV ["Reach for the Top" in high school, LOL!]
(  ) Stolen any traffic signs
(X) Been in a car accident [had mild whiplash once]
(  ) Been in the hospital in the past 24 months
(X) Donated blood [sold my plasma as an impoverished university student]

(  ) Gotten a speeding or any other type of ticket in the past 12 months
(X) Gotten a piercing [hey, earlobes count!]
(X) Gotten a tattoo [yes, I finally did it! so stay tuned for some upcoming posts!]
(X) Driven a four door vehicle [what the hell's so special about a four door vehicle?]
(X) Ever owned your dream car [my Toyota Yaris, LOL!]

(  ) Been married
(  ) Been divorced
(X) Fell in love [with My Rare One]
(X) Fell out of love [just temporarily but then fell back in love again]
(X) Paid for a stranger's meal [if donating money to the food bank counts]

(  ) Driven over 100 mph
(  ) Been scuba diving
(X) Written a published book / story / poem / song [here's an example]
(  ) Eaten snails [no, but I ate frog legs once -- that should count!]
(X) Broke a bone [my baby toe -- hey, it was painful as hell!]

Monster Chiller Horror Theatre

Hello, kids! Count Floyd here. Be prepared to be frightened to death by this week's monster chiller horror offering! Now give a big howl of welcome to our guest host, Debra She Who Seeks!

On my "Ask Me Anything" post, Dr Theda and/or Stacey of Dr Theda's Crypt inquired: "Who are your favourite Villain and Monster?"

While I'm awfully fond of existentially-tormented Marvel villains like Magneto and Loki, I must confess that there's a special place in my heart for a certain old timey musical villain, as cosplayed here by various cats --

Now, I suppose there could be an argument that the Phantom is not only a villain but also a kind of monster. But why quibble?

Listen to the music of the night . . . .

As for my favourite monster, I'm a big fan of Japan's gift to the world, Godzilla! But poor Godzilla is a very misunderstood monster, you know. He's really just a regular kinda guy who likes an occasional drink, good snacks and a fun time like anyone else --

Some even see a kind of . . . spiritual . . . significance in Godzilla. Are we misinterpreting Godzilla's message? God knows it wouldn't be the first time that ever happened!

Hey, if Scientology can be a tax-exempt religion, why not the Church of Godzilla? Send all donations c/o this blog, my children, that you may be greatly blessed, yea verily.