Happy Halloween ~ And...Why Is ICE Stockpiling Warheads & Chemical Weapons?

Yes, the Imagery will be more Creepy Monster Altered Art Dolls to go with the Post Story Content, which, is rather Creepy itself and an Altered Reality we're Living thru, all of us.  *Winks and Le Sigh*  The latest News is that ICE is stockpiling Warheads & Chemical Weapons, one has to wonder, Why?  Immigration and Custom Enforcement shouldn't require either, nor should they be deploying either upon the People in America on our own Soil, any of the People in America!  It isn't portending anything Positive or not Dangerous and potentially Lethal, that's for sure.  If it doesn't alarm you it should.  The Hiring of ICE Agents hasn't been Vetted very well, those who probably would never pass Psychological Screening for the Military, CIA, FBI or even your Local Police, can get into ICE.    But, my Take is that ICE has become like any Tyrant's Loyal Secret Police that will do anything asked of them, that the Playbook says one has to have to install Tyranny effectively and more importantly, brutally and Illegally.

 But, you also do away with your Legal System to ensure this goes unchallenged.  This is precisely why you've got what appears to be an out of control Goon Squad not properly identifying themselves, masked, violence prone, and indiscriminately Targeting and Kidnapping folks off the Streets of America in broad Daylight and with NO Due Process made available.  Then holding them in Concentration Camps on American Soil and not even allowing Politicians Legal Access to see the Treatment of who they're holding there.  This all should alarm us all and be a Red Flag of what could be coming that is much, much, worse and that nobody is Safe from.  NetFlix has a Special called "How To Be A Tyrant", and clearly Donnie Two Dolls and his Cabal are using the whole Playbook.  ALL of it.  And if they know they're losing Power and Control, the only thing left for them to resort to is to Start A War, out of the Playbook Tactics Final Chapter.  Putin's doing it now coz his Reign is in serious jeopardy and he knows it.

Okay, Moving On, coz it's a Glorious Day out there Today and I refuse to have a Black Cloud of Corrupt Politics ruin it for me from The Jump.  Plus, The Daughter made a Lovely Breakfast for everyone this Morning and that's what I Woke up to, being Served Breakfast in Bed.  It's Good to be Me.  *Winks*  LATER:  While we were out and about we got a call from my Oldest Brother-In-Law, The Man's Older Brother, that he's in Arizona and will be here in the Morning, huge Surprise!!!   We haven't seen him since we lived in the Villa McManse, so it's been about Six Years, tho' he and his Wife used to visit Arizona fairly often and stay with us.

He's a Widower now, as our Sister-In-Law passed away last Year after a long illness, he'd been her Caregiver in latter Years.  So, it's understandable that he hasn't been Traveling as much, they used to be on an Endless Vacation when she was Well enuf to Travel.  They extensively Traveled and owned Vacation Homes in several States.  He still has a Vacation Home in Texas, and his Main Home in Alaska, so is likely Migrating to warmer climate for the Winter now.  He passes thru Arizona to get to Texas from Alaska and almost always drives.  Surprising now that he's around 80 Years Old, but, for a really Old Guy he's in remarkable Shape and a Health Nut, very Active.

This is the Sibling that The Man is closest to and always Admired, his Big Brother was always considered the Family Hero, he became Wealthy and Owed very successful Businesses.  Ergo, a lot of the Family pandered to him and elevated him above the other Kids accomplishments IMO.  Every Family's version/vision of Success is different, depending on what their priorities tend to be.  My Family, for example, elevated The Man's Military contribution to his Country as Heroic, and it is by most Standards. 

 He's a highly decorated War Hero who Served 39 Years in every branch of the Service except the Navy and Coast Guard.  The Man's Family NEVER talked of The Man's Service to Country and Medals Earned.  I personally feel it's coz he had to Kill a lot of People for his Country, especially during Vietnam.  As a Sniper in Special Forces, it WAS his Job after all to Neutralized specifically Targeted people the Government wanted Dead, regardless of who they were, and they were ashamed of revealing that?

Nobody ever wanted to Talk about or acknowledge that I quickly discovered.  And he did more than be an Assassin in the USMC, he Rescued folks too, was a Field Medic in the Army, and Maintained Aircraft in the Air Force.  Plus, he was also a Paramedic... and a Police Officer that infiltrated Dangerous Biker Gangs as a Civilian.  He's got an impressive Resume IMO worth being very Proud of.  When the BIL was in the Military he did some Heroic things too, Saving People, which is indeed Heroic, he was on a Rescue Team for the Military.  But had a very short Career due to an injury to his Eyes which sidelined his Military Career during one Operation in which he went Snow Blind.

  And in Civilian Life made impressive accomplishments, as a Young Man he was a Star Athlete as well.  So, he has earned a lot of the Praise and Pride.  But, being Wealthy isn't my Family's Standard and Bar, I do think The Man's Family were always more competitive about Earning as the Standard, so there was a lot of competitiveness about that.  In my Family, as long as you were the Best at whatever you did, they were equally Proud of you.  I never thought anyone was elevated above another or felt lesser than.

The Man is what most would have called The Black Sheep of his Family and the outlier, so, he's never felt fully acknowledged and I did notice that dynamic within his Family and wondered Why?  Mostly I felt it was due to him leaving The Church, since, they are LDS and shunning is pretty common among that Religion if someone leaves.  It's rather Cultish that way IMO, coz to me the difference between a Religion and a Cult is what happens when you try to leave.  Anyway, I've had a complicated Relationship with this BIL and I don't with The Man's Younger Brother, who I've always gotten along with very well with zero conflicts.  *Winks*

The Older Brother is very Patriarchal for lack of a better and most singular Word as a descriptive reason as to Why.  *LOL*  He is in direct conflict with a Woman Raised in a Matriarchal Society like I was and so doesn't understand nor accept it.  He often strayed out of his own Lane with my Family and you just don't do that in MY World.  If you step into my Waters you best be damned sure you're a Strong Swimmer!  I have made my BIL cry and The Man's Family said nobody has ever been able to do that.  I can make a Grown Man Cry, it's a Gift.  *Winks and LOL*  My Super Power is how fiercely and unapologetically Protective I am of MY Family/Loved Ones. 

The BIL is a nice Guy overall, but like a lot of prominent Men in their Communities, he is used to getting his own way all of the time.  He thinks the Universe revolves around him and can be very Egocentric and Narcissistic.  That doesn't Fly here and he's not used to being challenged or put in his place when he gets in your Lane... and my Mantra for every Person is, "Stay in your own Lane."   There are just consequences if you don't and The Man knows how I am so he's Warned his Brother, don't make an Enemy of The Wife, you will regret it, she doesn't take Hostages when she goes on the Warpath, and... I don't.  If you don't take me out I'll for sure take you down and out, that's a Given.

And so the BIL's impromptu visits, and they always are sudden and unexpected, is met by everyone but The Man, with mixed Feelings and Sentiments.  My Kiddos are rather like me, they Love their Uncle and are sure he Loves them too, but they don't always Like him and how much he gets in other folk's Business.  And, he tends to not accept his Younger Brother's Medical Condition and level of Disability which over the Years has put The Man at risk.   The BIL if he wants something, seems oblivious if it puts someone else at risk, even his own Wife, and I ALWAYS had an Issue with that level of Narcissistic Behavior, but a Narcissist will always Act that way, it's always about them all of the time.

They usually are successful people so their innate Nature lends itself to Success and dominance.  But, when they cannot dominate someone it leads to conflict with that person.   So, he and I have had our conflicts for going on almost 40 Years now.  *Winks*  The Man and I don't fight, and the BIL and his Dear Wife fought all of the time, but, that's how they tended to interact and have been Married much longer than we have.  Each Union has it's ways of Being, but it always made me uncomfortable to see a Couple fussing with each other all of the time coz The Man and I never do.  Our Children have never Witnessed us Fight, ever.  The Man and I are so Yin and Yang one would think we might have more conflict, but, we just don't, he's my Soulmate and my Best Friend, we Compliment each other in our Union.

Yep, pretty sure we Work each other's last Nerve some of the time, but it doesn't lead to Fighting, never has.  And he's a Fierce Warrior and I Respect that about him, he's a True Bad Ass and any Man who'd tangle with him would soon regret it.  But, he defers to his Big Brother too much and I am the one who won't tolerate that.  He's MY Husband and nobody messes with MY Loved Ones, Period, full Stop, and the BIL has often Learned that Lesson the hard way and met Dark Dawn on numerous occasions.  *Winks*  He does Like Dawn Of The Light and I do Like him as a Human Being, he's got a good Personality overall, so, when we're on those Terms we get along fabulously then.  *Smiles* 

As the BIL has gotten Older I think he's figured me out enuf to have a Truce in place and less conflicts arise.  I'm generally a Harmonious Old Hippie and he knows this about me, even tho' he TOTALLY disagrees with my Way of Life and Lifestyle, it's way too foreign to him and he's rather MAGA, so that sums it up pretty well too.  I've told him thus, do NOT even try to pontificate on your Politics OR your Religion with the Children and I, we don't wanna Hear it, we'll never be in Agreement and will have to Agree to just Disagree, 'nuff said.   He knows I HATE this President and he knows Why, so, it Needs no further discussion.   But for an Old Patriarchal Wealthy White Man, I can see the Appeal this one had for the BIL.  *Eye Roll and Smiles*

I think he'll be Wise enuf not to wear any MAGA Wardrobe to my Home.  *Bwahahahaha*   I can be tolerant of his Religion, will never BE OF it, but I will be intolerant of his Politics, for strictly Moral Reasons, which has nothing at all to do with Politics.   To me a Tyrant trying to install Tyranny, and using the Old Playbook ALL aspiring Tyrants have used for Centuries, is a Moral Issue, not a Political one.  My Moral Compass is directly opposed to a Tyrant's lack of one, there's no compromising on that at all, Humanity is at stake under Tyranny and there's no Happy Endings under a Tyrant's Rule.  Ever, never has been, never will be... Study History.  Well, IF they don't Rewrite it, so that you can't and prevent you from knowing Truths that is.

Anyway, he's coming in the Morning and I'm glad we'll get to see him again coz as we're all Aging Out, it could always be the last time and Family is Important to us.   Even Members we don't always see Eye to Eye with, we Love, and we Love the BIL and want the best for him always.  I think he's rather Lost in Widowerhood coz it's still quite recent for him and I do think he's Lonely.   His Dear Wife did a LOT for him coz she was Raised in a very Patriarchal dominant Society so she never thought of herself, she was a very Dear Woman but not a very Social one, she was very Introverted and a Homebody.   But I Liked her a lot, even tho' you could never take her anywhere coz being away from a Home was out of her Element entirely.

If you took her anywhere her first Question before you even arrived at a Destination would be, when are we leaving to go back Home?  *LOL*  That is not Hyperbolic, I once drove all the way to the Desert Botanical Gardens with them during a visit coz they'd never been.  The BIL was excited to go, I assumed she Wanted to go coz she came along.  We got there, and there's a Bench just beyond the Entrance, she sat down and said she'd wait for us when we were ready to leave and go Home!!!  The BIL acted like that was fucking Normal, but, I wouldn't just leave her there Alone and ponce off, I felt terrible for wasting our Time if she really wasn't up to engaging in what we were doing.  I wouldn't have even taken her!   It's Troubling to cause anyone undue Anxiety for any reason, even if unintentional.

 So, I insisted, No, we'll just go back Home, you Guys can go again, it's alright, I can see she's anxious about even being here and that's not Good.   It's not The Man's Jam either, but I knew he'd go with his Brother if they really wanted to experience it together.   The Man can be a Homebody too so I do understand when someone is out of their Element and I won't insist they do anything beyond what they Feel comfortable with.  I'd rather go do it Solo or with who does wanna be there.  So, usually whenever the SIL came, I'd stay Home and enjoy her Company there during her visits.  Coz we'd have some good times just talking and making/sharing Meals, that was her Jam.  I'll miss that she won't be present during this visit.  And I'm sympathetic to his profound Loss of his Life's Partner.

The Man has told me, after his SIL passed, and his Older Sister passed before her much Older Husband, that, he wants to be the one who passes First.  He does not want to be a Widower and thinks I'd fare better as a Widow than he would as a Widower!?   I don't know that I would actually, but, I think he's Fearful of what would happen to him if I was Gone?   He thinks I'd be Fine and mebbe I would, don't know?  The Kids also are Fearful of that, they said their Dad/Grandpa wouldn't even do that well when I'm Sidelined and out of his Daily Routine briefly, so they don't think he'd do Well at all if I was just Gone and never coming back.   That makes me Sad, coz I'd want for him to be Okay, but I realize some Spouses do NOT do Okay after Losing their Life's Partner.  And as you Age Out, it's gonna happen to one of you, probably first, for sure. 

Facing Mortality is one thing, facing the Loss of Loved Ones is entirely different.   To me my own Mortality is the easier part, I don't even wanna Outlive everybody else and be the last one.   My Dad was the last one of his Family, but, he didn't lose my Mom first, or any of his Kids or Grandkids first, he had a Peace about that.   My Mom had an Older Brother who Outlived her, he was 90 before he passed... like my Dad, he didn't like being the last one of his Family either that Outlived all the Siblings and even his Dear Wife.  My Welsh Uncle's Wife was perfectly Healthy her whole Life and dropped Dead suddenly and unexpectedly at about Age 52 one Morning, she didn't even know she had a Bad Heart!  My Uncle was so Lost for many Years after that coz Mom's Culture is a very Patriarchal Society, so my Aunt had done everything for him.

My Youngest Cousin and his Wife, my Uncle's Younger Son, stepped up and stepped in, as is Cultural, and took Care of him.  He stayed Independently Living in his own Home the entire time, to Age 90, but they visited him often and ensured he was taken care of.   In Wales most of the Family live in close proximity to one another and always have.  So in many ways it was similar to my Dad's Family, who, except for him and the Widowed Sister who moved in with my Dad here in Phoenix when she became a Widow, all the rest of the Family lived among their Tribe on the Rez close to one another.  Now my immediate Family are far flung and only those living under my Roof are Local now.  I do Wish we all lived in close proximity, that would ensure everyone was closer as a Family Unit.

I thought this BIL would move closer to their Only Daughter, they used to always Buy a 2nd or 3rd Home near their Only Child and her Family.  But, now his Two Grandkids are Grown I think they just aren't as close and tight knit anymore, The Daughter they have is very much like her Dad.  So the last time The Man and The Young Prince saw her, they said she really is in her own Bubble and not close to Family, unless it's somehow benefitting her, very Selfish and aloof.   So, tho' one of his Houses is close to one of hers, I don't know she checks in that much with her Dad?  

 I think he's pretty much on his own now and so I'm glad he's still Independent and in very good Health, he doesn't seem to have the Support System of Kids/Grandkids that we enjoy.   He's done a LOT for his Kid and Granddaughters, but, I doubt there's reciprocity in his Old Age?  Some Families operate like that.   I do feel bad for him that most of his Friends now have Died and his Family aren't so close with him, but, he set the dynamic, all of us do, and the consequences of what kind of Relationships you Build with your Loved Ones does Play Out.  One thing I'll give this BIL big Props for, during a Crisis, he'll be there tho', he's dependable in a Family Crisis and I deeply Respect that about him.  He feels that being the Oldest Brother and Oldest Sibling, it was his Duty and he's Honored it willingly and without Complaint.

  *******

Happy halloween from the arizona desert... dawn... the bohemian

Falling Deeply Down A Fall Rabbit Hole ~ Dark Times

 

Princess T said another Newbie got Fired, didn't show up or call in, which gets you immediately terminated.  She said most New Hires don't make it thru Probation and a good many just have a shitty Work Ethic and don't really seem to want to keep or have a Job, she could be Right?  That made it harder on everyone else when people don't show up and don't work out. So, it was a rough day for her having too much to do so that Girl's Post was covered, she was doing her Work and the missing Fired Newbie's Work.   But, she said it's better that the people not up to the Job or Hate the Work leave early so less time is wasted Training them or getting to know them, I agree. 

 She was in Good Spirits coz she's liking Gabe as her New Supervisor, I had told her she would, coz Gabe Loves her Gramma.  *Winks*  Truly, he's a Dear Young Man, very conscientious and wanting a Career with that Company, so, his Star will rise I think.   He asks my advice about Corporate World matters often and appreciates Mentors and Wisdom of Elders.  I do what I can to give him some encouragement about pursuing his Career Goals so he'll have the confidence to go for it.  He knows I Raised Princess T and taught her to have a Strong Work Ethic, he knows she is a Special Needs Person who is very high functional.  He himself Shared he has a Medical Condition, I don't think many people know what he struggles with Healthwise, it's significant for a Young Person.

Princess T is cooking our Steaks for us that I got for everyone on Sale at "Fry's" the other Day, choice cuts of Steak and Bison, great price marked down to.  She's making hers, Grandpa's and mine.  The others will cook their own as they want them.  The Young Prince said he'd be Home sometime Tomorrow.  Princess T has Shared that she overheard a conversation Allen had on Speaker, not knowing she was present and could hear it, she thinks her Brother should definitely get a Divorce still.  But, she agrees with me that they're both Grown and it's between them to Work it out and do what they feel is Right about either staying together or parting.  She understands her Brother's Situation tho', he is reluctant to come back and be a burden to us and one more Mouth to Feed and House, since, he doesn't come with a Check.  And he knows we're on a Fixed Income and Retired, so, Supporting Adult Kids and Adult Grandkids is a stretch and a Big Ask, especially for a Lifetime.

But when you have someone with Serious Mental Illness or Serious Developmental Disabilities, Adulthood doesn't absolve you from taking Care of them and meeting them at their Point of Need.  Even if Legally it does, Morally it does not.  And I know that Qualifying for Services and Disability is a convoluted Cluster Fuck where if you're not Flavor of the Month, very likely you'll be Denied no matter how Challenged you are to Support yourself, or are completely Unable to, Nobody Cares.  Society for sure doesn't really, it's why you see so many Forsaken on the Streets of America.  I don't mind him coming back Home and gave him that Option, but he told me he knows how full my Dance Card already is with those dependent on living here or being Unhoused, he doesn't wanna be just one more.   But, Hell, what is just one more?  *LOL*  Throw more Water in the fucking Beans... and make it Work.

But the only thing worse than staying in a Bad Relationship is staying in one a Day longer than you have to.   And sometimes people find out they're just not compatible for the long haul, and that's Okay, it happens.   Having Shared Vision is more important than just being in Love, coz having different Visions for your Future eventually leads to Division otherwise, and, you can fall in Love with the Wrong Person.  Anyway, they're Grown, they'll figure it all out.  I do Hate to see folks in troubled Relationships coz it causes a lot of Emotional Stress and nobody Needs that, Life is hard enuf, so your Home Life should be your Sanctuary and your Life Partner your Confidant and Soul Mate.

Anyway, I think this little Vacay is good for The Young Prince to get away for a while, give them both some Space, and enough Apartness that they can figure out if they still want to be Together or not?  Princess T told her Brother he would be better off with an Older Sugar Daddy than staying with someone who has Anger Issues and inability to Mood Regulate, that's too turbulent and stressful.  I'm guessing the Psyche Meds help some, but I could tell that Allen has Anger Management Issues that are unresolved and probably come from a deep place he doesn't even fully understand.   He's had a LOT of Rejection in his Life already, and a lot of having to remain Closeted for too much of it.

 His Family dynamic is so complex and his Sexuality and Autism is a huge Issue with his Family who are West Texas Fundamentalists, and don't wanna acknowledge either thing they see as a 'defect', need I say much more?  I liked them, I genuinely did, but I know we'd disagree on many things and I don't doubt they Love Allen, but have a very hard time accepting who he just IS and will always BE.  That is a bitter Pill to swallow when your own Family is either unaccepting of you or ashamed of you, for whatever reasons.  I can't even Imagine that level of Emotional Pain coz I never had to experience that from my Family.  Love and Acceptance is a Human Need for us all.   To even Feel or be Unloved or not Accepted, excluded and rejected is hard for anyone.

I do Like Allen and think he has many great qualities and Cares about The Young Prince.  But he's a Tortured Soul and a Hurting Person, who kind of has some Self-Loathing due to Non-Acceptance from those Closest to him where he was Raised.   And those Hurting tend to Hurt others too, it can become a vicious Cycle.   I think perhaps he's not as comfortable in his own Skin as The Young Prince is and there can be jealousy associated with that.   And, I think he tried very hard when living here to be a lot of Help, he's hard working, but doesn't always make good decisions on a consistent basis coz his Autism is quite pronounced.   He's a big strong Guy, but very Sensitive.  I've made him Cry even when I didn't intend to or mean to be Hurtful.  Of coarse The Man and The Son do Joke that I can make any Grown Man Cry, and... well... I have... so, they're not totally Wrong.  *LOL*

  But I do have Compassion for those with Disabilities of any kind and try never to hold something against them that they can't help and have no real Control over, like Mental Illness or Physical Illness and other Disabilities.   But I won't allow you to use it as an Excuse for Bad Behavior either.  Having Raised an Autistic Son I know that Challenge and the lack of Filter, the lack of ability to sustain Relationships, Social and Communication difficulties, Sensitivities to Environments, struggles with Executive Functions, Decision making challenges, difficulty with Social Norms, co-occurring Mental Health Conditions... the Laundry List is quite long, even with the higher functional ones like The Son and Allen.  And, The Young Prince has significant Serious Mental Health Issues, which are equally Challenging in any Relationship 'they' will have.  Since, there are Seven Alters with the D.I.D., and each is very different than the rest. 

 So, you're not always Dealing with the same dominant Personality, it switches often and so that's like having a Relationship with Seven different People, at any given time, and all are Mentally Unwell, some easier to be around than others.   Schizophrenia alone would be Challenging enough, and so there are times The Young Prince feels that it Isolates so thoroughly that any Relationship is just hard and so much Work and Stressful, even if you weren't to Personalize the Why and lay any blame on the other Person.   He Loves me dearly and yet there are times he has to tell me to Go Away, he can't be around me, or anyone else for that matter.  How Allen Receives that may be different than how I do and Allen may Personalize it more or Read more into it since a Spouse's Relationship is different.

I don't give Unsolicited Advice to Adults tho'.  So, Moving On...  I fell deeply down a Fall Rabbit Hole indulging in Monster Art Dolls and everything Halloween and Autumn related.  I languished in the Land of Pinterest and found a Monster Art Doll Blogger to add to my Sidebar.  I just Love those Creepy little Dolls and have several made by different Artisans, that I've Collected over a span of many Years.  They are becoming more Popular so Pinterest had a wealth of them to Lust after.  I know our Local Artists Sold Out of theirs.  Prices vary wildly, some are expensive, some inexpensive, all are OOAK Handmade so there is Hand Work involved and not mass produced crap being passed off as Altered Art Dolls.   I mean even Creepy Doll Creations that are mass produced can be spendy at places like "Spirit Store", so it's not as if the Artists Ask Prices are unreasonable actually for Handmade Unique pieces they're Creating and Selling as a small Business or Craft Hobby.   I do Support Unknown Artists Work.

I have included some of the Monster Art Doll Pixs of some of my Favs, and will include more for Halloween enjoyment Visuals in Future Posts until I get Halloween out of my System.  *LOL and Winks*  I LOVE this Door, and the whole Historic Building it's in actually, it's a Building I'd wanna Buy if it ever came up For Sale coz it looks Commercial in a Historic Area and so is pretty good sized.   Good Walk Scores to nearby Shops and such, you could live on the premises and Sell from it too, which is what the Current Occupants seem to be doing and have kept the Old Building Original, which I appreciate.  It looks as tho' a Fabricator Artist lives there and works from there right now.   I would LOVE to see the Interior of the place since the Exterior intrigues me considerably.  I wanna know the whole Historic Back Story of a place like this.

 

Without trying to be Intrusive I like to take Photos of Old Buildings and if I meet the Occupants, ask them about the place.  Most are only too Happy to tell you about it's History, as far as they might know of it.  Hardly anyone Buys a place like this and keeps it Original rather than molesting it, without having a true Love of Old.  On NetFlix I watched the Michelle Wolf Comedy Special, I like her and it was good.  She had taken 7 Months Off to have her Daughter, and is candid about being an Older First time Mom and having an Interracial Family.   I had always assumed that she herself was Racially mixed, but apparently she isn't.  She has some hilarious Comedy about people asking her that too.  Since, her Husband is Black and she says when people ask her if she has any Black 'in' her, she says, well, yeah, sometimes, when I'm having Sex.  *LMAO*  I get the hilarity of being asked what you 'are' becoz I've been asked that all my Life, as have my Kids and most of my Grandkids who are Mixed Racially.   Sometimes we like to have Wicked Fun with it when we give an Answer.  *Winks*

The Son is renewing our NetFlix, we had only One Day left otherwise.  I probably use it the most, The Man likes his regular Cable TV Reruns, he'll watch the same Episodes over and over again as if for the First time.  Kids do that and apparently so does anyone with cognitive decline or other Brain Damage.  There's very few things I can watch more than once, except Seasonal Cult Classics for the Nostalgia of it at a certain Holiday it represents in my Memories.   I will watch the original "Halloween" {1978} every time it's on, but the many sequels of it, not so much.   The same with the original "Home Alone" {1990}, at Christmastime, but, also, the sequels of it, not so much.   Along with the original "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation" {1989} is a must watch, but, not the sequels either.  I like the Old Horror Movies too, like "The Haunting Of Hill House" {1963}.  Our Haunted Historic Home was on Hill Drive and that seemed appropriate and made me think of the Movie.  *LOL*

Until the Post that Published Today had hit I'd almost forgotten about the dispute with my Cable/Internet/Landline Provider about Paperless Billing trying to be forced upon me!  There has been so many back to back Issues to Deal with lately that after I've tried to Deal with one it's moving on to the next thing to have to try to Deal with and erase those behind me that I've already Dealt with either successfully or unsuccessfully.  You just have to handle one Crisis or Problem at a time or you'd overwhelm yourself and short circuit your tolerance and ability to handle it all in a professional manner to get desired results.  Being unprofessional isn't my Style, even if I'm really pissed off I remain calm and measured, even tho' seething on the inside and HOT, on the exterior I'm icy Cold and in Control.  

I'll be relentless but I won't raise my Voice, even if I'm dropping a few necessary F-Bombs in the conversation, but in a flat affect that tends to unnerve who I'm Dealing with a lot more than if I'm losing it, yelling, hysterical and don't have Control of myself.  I am completely in Control when I am in Opposition with anyone.   And, if you're just the Hired Help or the Messenger, I will attempt to get you on MY Side, way more beneficial to ME.   Since, if whatever your Employer is doing is gonna cause you grief, Headaches and Drama, why would you be on THEIR Side, Right?  You just want to Earn your Check and not have a Bad Day with any Customer, so, if you can Feel like you're on the Customer's Side and be their Hero, why wouldn't you be, Right?  *Winks*  And since I'm Old and Naturally Grandmotherly and Motherly, if the Young Person I'm Dealing with can be persuaded to Bond with Granny Dawn during the Situation at Hand, and be my Favorite, then we'll Bond if it gets the Job done for me.

My Two Generations of Kiddos here and their Friends get a kick out of my Phone Calls resolving Issues, or especially In Person Issues being resolved.   I was a Fixer in my Corporate Lives and a Problem Solver for my Employers, so Why wouldn't I be a Fixer and Problem Solver for me and mine?   I'm Retired now but not completely out of The Game and what Served me in my Professional Life also Serves me in my Private Life pretty well.  Usually I get desired results, since, I'll be relentless and tenacious until I do.  Try to Outlast me, I Dare you to at least Try.  *Winks*  My Parents said that I Fixated on whatever I was after and it would become my Obsession until it was attained, from a very early Age, so it must just be my Way of Being Naturally?   If I Wanted something, I would therefore ALWAYS find a way to GET it.  If you became a barrier to me getting it, then it would be my Job to remove any and all barriers out of my way.  *Bwahahahaha*

 

Of coarse when I was Two that was Adorable and rather Amusing to watch. But they said as I got Older it became Scary and Unsettling at   times when I'd Lock In, becoz once Fixated, and Obsessed with getting my desired Results, I would not let up, back down, or give up.  Even if I seemed to Forget for a little while, I hadn't, I'd just come back to it when my Adversary had Forgotten, was more Worn down, or wouldn't see me coming for it again.  Becoz I was either gonna Get it, or there would be Hell to pay if I didn't.  *LOL*   And if I didn't get desired Results, then you became the Object of my desire to Take Down, Eliminate, or Destroy... there would be NO Winners then.  You are either For me or Against me, you Choose, Deny me what I'm after and we'll all go Down, I don't Care.   I've tried to Temper that in my Advanced Years coz I know, with Maturity, that it was Psycho.  *Bwahahahaha*  This is precisely Why I do have some basic level "Psycho Understanding" of how this President Operates and why he's a Total Psycho, coz he does not Temper those tendencies at all.  He Wants what he Wants by any means to get it.

I'd say that his tendencies aren't Tempered by Traits that are more Positive, like Empathy, Compassion, Kindness, Fairness, a Moral Compass, Honor, Integrity, sense of Right & Wrong, etcetera.    Mine are, Thanks be to God they are, coz I know how often Dawn Of The Light prevailed over Dark Dawn in pursuit of anything I was After!  *Whew*  The difference between having Psychopathic or Sociopathic Tendencies and Traits, or being a full blown Psycho, often depends on that Balance to even you out and ensure you are the Right Side of your History.  I think I have remained on the Right Side of my History and used my Psycho Tendencies for Good and not for Evil, I'm Thankful of that.  *Winks and Smiles*  But, do I know and am I Aware of how it could go if I were to switch?  Absolutely.  Could Dark Dawn be dominant in certain Situations, affirmative.  But I LIKE Dawn Of The Light more and so does everyone else, so it's my Choice to Live Life with that side of me Dominant.   But I will let Dark Dawn out to Play when it's necessary.  *Winks*

I do think I'm drawn to the Macabre and make it Whimsical becoz it's how I FEEL most of the time on the Inside.   I've Embraced the Beautiful Mess that most of us are, and especially that I am myself.   I know that even the Best of us can be capable of the worst things under the right circumstances that will bring that out in us.  And that some, will be capable of the worst things on a consistent basis and don't need anything but the right circumstances and opportunities to unleash that and try to dominate.  I Believe that's what is happening in America now and I also Believe that a Paradigm Shift is coming becoz those who have their Dark Side always Dominant are gonna soon realize that the Majority who don't, also have one.   Under enuf Pressure or Pain, under enuf Lack and Stress, given nothing left to Lose, even if your Dominant Side is all that is Good or Holy, your Dark Side will have to emerge if you have strong Survival Instincts of Self-Preservation.  If you don't, you shall probably perish under the Dominance of the Evil ones. 

And I can't say how each of you will Respond when that Paradigm Shift happens, whether you'll be a Survivalist or a Casualty?   But I know if I'm Going Down or someone is trying to Take me Down, I'm personally taking as many of the Opposition with me as I possibly can.  And they'll know for damned sure it won't be Dawn Of The Light they'll be Battling.  I'll make no apologies for that and won't Care how vicious Dark Dawn will have to get against those who have chosen to be my Enemies and not our Friends.   I make a much better Friend and it would be my preference to be one to everyone, even those I have no commonalities with at all.   But we don't live in a Perfect World where there are just Friends... and you should discern who is one... and who isn't.   Becoz the most dangerous Enemy is one pretending they have your Best Interests at Heart and they don't at all, you are all their Prey and they're nothing but a Predator.

*******

Yep, going very Dark for Halloween...  coz we're living thru some very Dark Times my Friends... Dawn... The Bohemian

I Had High Hopes ~ HAD Being The Key Word Here

 I spent most of Wednesday in Bed, I don't know if the Storms brought something with it but I had a Headache, Sneezed a lot, felt generally icky and not so good.  I still haven't heard from the Specialist to get that appointment for my Ear, so, if by end of Week they haven't contacted me my Primary Doc wants to know.  This happened last time she tried to get a Specialist to contact me about that lump on my Forehead, which never did get resolved and I finally decided not to pursue it further.  But, the Ear Issue could be Serious and she told me to inform her if they don't contact me right away, so, I will.  When it comes to Dermatology I find that they don't seem eager to pick up New Patients, so mebbe they're devoid of openings for anyone 'New'?  I have a PPO so I'm not restricted on why I need to be seen or who I can be seen by, so, that's not the Issue like it would be with an HMO.

When we transfer to HUMANA at the first of the Year, by necessity, we'll keep all our existing Docs and I'm glad about that.  The Man's Cardiologist, Dr. Singh, had no problem with the change, nor did my Primary Doc, and the VA Docs for The Man don't care which Civilian Docs you're seeing, they don't restrict him from seeing anyone Civilian.  So our transition should be a smooth one with no conflicts that are obvious.  They'd all heard about AETNA and United Healthcare dropping Medicare eligible Veterans and their Families locally, they all felt like we did about it, shitty thing to do to our Older Service Families.   But, you know, anytime any Business feels that way about our Veterans and their Dependents, then I'd rather not do Business with them frankly, fuck them.  And our VA Subcontracted Nurse was saying AETNA is the Worst anyway, she doesn't even know how they stay in Business coz they charge so much?!  I didn't know that, never had AETNA and now I'd never want them as an Option either.

I had been pleased with United Healthcare tho', never had any problems personally and liked them enuf to keep them, they dropped us involuntarily, not the other way around.   But, pretty sure people had begun to have Issues with them, hence, why their CEO got Assassinated, most likely?   Mangione probably Targeted that Healthcare's CEO for a more personal reason than randomly, I suspect?   We know he expressed hostility towards the Health Insurance Industry, we don't exactly know why, but I would think it was deeply Personal in some way.   I don't condone violence and murder, but I do know that desperate people are more prone to doing desperate things.  And that's what worries me about what's looming large in America right now as ordinary Citizens might become more desperate.  People not being able to afford to Live or seek Care reach a level of desperation you can't fathom unless you are in their Situation.  Give People nothing left to Lose and they likely have no more Fucks to Give either.

I know when talking to The Young Prince about the whole Wal-Mart Ban, I Raised him to be Honest and have Principles, he's not Criminally inclined.  But, he said after going hungry and not getting help, you will steal Food before you will starve and I agree, some basic Needs will require being met and Starvation is not a pleasant thing to suffer needlessly when our Country has such abundance.  No Human in America should go Hungry and especially no Child in America.  Nobody facing a Medical Crisis or Emergency should be turned away for lack of being able to Pay for Emergency Services in the Richest Country on Earth.  I don't think anyone in America should have to live on the Streets and not have adequate Shelter.  We extend more Compassion to Domestic Animals than that.   I don't think that's a Socialist or Political Viewpoint in any way, so much as it's a Humanitarian Viewpoint.  I don't want any Sentient Being to have to suffer, period.

I finally got rid of my Headache and tried to take this Show on the Road, big mistake, even tho' I tell The Man to use the Bathroom before we leave he insists he doesn't have to.  Then when we get someplace far enuf way from any Public Restroom he suddenly has an Urgency to Go.  And, we've had bad accidents before now, which is messy, so I end up having to mad dash back to where I know there is a Public Restroom available that won't give you a hassle about using it.  Now, it's not as if any Business doesn't have one, but they refuse to let Customers use it. And once, when they got surly about it when he wouldn't be able to make it anywhere else... he had his accident right there and they had to clean shit up off their floor for Minimum Wage.  Oh well, I had to clean my Truck up when I got Home too and he had the humiliation of what happened in Public, so nobody was Happy, were they?  *Insert Resting Bitch Face and takes a Deep Breath... Inhale... Exhale!  Ohmmmmm*

So, since I'd had to drive more than halfway back Home I aborted the whole going out thing.  He was petulant, but, he had refused to wear a Pull-Up either and I don't battle him about it, we just stay Home when it's too much hassle to take the Show on the Road.  I don't get Mad, I just cancel whatever was planned and decide, well, mebbe another day things will work out better and we'll try again?  That's all you can do when you're a Caregiver, some Days just don't work out and it's best then to just go nowhere to spare yourself.  With starting the day out not feeling great until past Noon anyway, I didn't have it in me for Extreme Caregiver Episodes playing out in Public.  Nice Day after the Storms cleared, so it was a pity, I had high Hopes.  HAD being the Key Word here.  *Eye Roll and Le Sigh*  Well, at least he made it to McDonalds in time and the Kids there were not playing Toilet Police.  *Whew*  I remained Composed and Calm.  

"This is why I can't Eat!" he says angrily... "And you shouldn't have fed me Breakfast!"... as if NOT ever Eating is a Solution... especially when you're on loads of Medications that can't be taken on an Empty Stomach... but, to the Dementia and TBI Addled Mind, that's his Logic.  *Bigger Sigh*   I have no Words, so, just don't respond and drive Home in Silence, he can't pick a Fight with someone not Listening, Engaging or Talking.  *Winks*  Works for me.  *Bwahahahaha*  I'll just go Home and Blog until I pick a Grandchild up from Work, park your Ass in front of your rerun Programs on the Big Screen... so, don't threaten me with a 
Good Time.  *Smiles*  He'll be fine now, disaster was averted, everything is as it should be.  Tomorrow will be a brand new day.

I did manage to find Two very large spectacular Wishing Stones before he informed me we had to find a Bathroom FAST.  And I Traded in 19 Lbs. of Aluminum at the Recycle Center that we'd gleaned a few days before, so, it was productive until it wasn't.  Small Victories, and, the Weather did improve over this Morning by the time it was Afternoon.  If I Need to Get Out I'll just ask The Daughter if she'll Babysit her Dad for me so I can unwind some for a while, she and Mando are here and The Man is back in his Routine at Home so he should be Chill enough to manage until Sundown, when deterioration sets in.  Lately I just put him comfortably in a Room by himself with Snacks and a TV, in a Media Chair, away from everyone else come Sundown and then there's no Old Man Drama.   The Young Prince has been visiting a Friend for a couple days, he said he forgot how much Work his Grandpa is to be around.  It's hard for him to see his Grandpa deteriorating and with being gone so long he sees how much further he's deteriorated since they lived here.

I'm thinking he is weighing whose harder to be around, his Husband Allen, or his Grandpa?  And which is less Emotionally difficult?  At least his Husband is Working during the Day and is Medicated at Night, so, I'm Guessing Allen is easier?  *Winks*   Since The Young Prince is Schizophrenic, he just can't handle if someone else is difficult to be around, and has their own significant Issues, so, it's understandably hard for him to Cope, but he has to.  He needs a Full Time Caregiver and cannot be Employed, too much Liability for any Employer, and he hasn't been able to Qualify for SSI, they keep raising the Bar on how Crazy you need to be apparently.  Even if you're Unemployable and have no Income or ability to Care for yourself, if your Family do, Social Security feels they should just take Care of  you for Life with no Federal Assistance or Present Help.   Tho' he did Qualify for limited Mental Health/Health and some temporary Nutritional Assistance at least.  And, his Spouse has to be gone more than half the Day to Work, so he's without a Caregiver more often than he has one available.

Anyway, The System isn't good, but it's only worsening under this Administration, to where we may have NO System in place for the most vulnerable of our Society very soon.   This Regime has quite an obvious Hitleresque Take on who they deem the "Undesirables" of Society they would prefer to just Eliminate and Voice it quite often.  So, I'm not being hyperbolic about their intentions, they say it loud and proud with no shame or conscience.  When people boldly proclaim or do heinous shit, you should Believe they do support such things and aren't "Just Joking" or don't really mean it.   When ICE is shooting Pastors in the Head from Rooftops, who are merely Praying for them, and posing no Threat whatsoever, I know what kind of Goons he's Hiring to do his dirty work and Arm with Weaponry to use against People on our Streets in America.  I don't have to fucking Speculate, I see it with my own Eyes.  And it reminds me of what Hired Goons used to do all the time to People of Color during the Civil Rights Era, and it's deeply disturbing that we're regressing.

Lost Ground mebbe that will take Generations to try to Recover to even be where we used to be before this Fuckery.  Well, fuckedy fuck fuck! Granted, it never actually ever stopped and People of Color have endured it now for Hundreds of Years here, but it's escalating rapidly now and going almost completely unchallenged.  And we know Women's Rights are being stripped quickly, and Gay Rights, and the Rights of the Disabled, and certain persecuted Religions, or where someone Immigrated from.  He welcomed a very minuscule Minority of White South Africans to America who he deemed needed immediate Asylum and granted it.  Whereas some Asylum seekers from other Nations have languished for Years waiting for their Cases to be heard and are being Deported when they show up for their Court Hearings they're required to attend.   Guess what Color they are?  NOT White.  Which is Donnie Two Dolls and his Cabal's only Real Criteria.  Be Rich... oh, and definitely be White... and be willing and able to Pay big Bribes to this New Feudal System in place.

 

And the ones who'll be the most disillusioned shall be the Poor and mostly White, predominantly uneducated, MAGA devout Base, or Angry Old more Affluent White Folk, who he weaponized, Conned, and used until they are no longer any use to him and his Cabal of Elite.  Then under the Bus they go and they never saw it coming... Eyes kept Wide Shut, Warnings not heeded.  So long as it was someone else he made Suffer they were Fine with that, so long as he didn't Come for them... but until it's them, I never expected a Revelation, I honestly didn't, he was their Guy until it's them.   And deception works like that, playing into people's fears, biases, insecurities, anger.  Psychologically there is even a 'Type' of person more vulnerable for that kind of manipulation and exploitation.  

I had a Clinical Psychologist explain it and then it made perfect sense.   In fact, those with a more Liberal Mindset and those with a more Conservative Mindset are Psychologically different in how they Process the World around them.   In personality, moral reasoning and reactions to threats, real or perceived.   It can and often does influence how people perceive and respond to the World... it's called Personality Psychology and is some fascinating stuff to delve into and does identify consistent correlations with Political Ideology.  I didn't even have to go too deep into the Weeds to see that there's merit to the Studies and Research that have been done.   It was worth copying and Pasting the most interesting parts of the Research.  And of coarse some folks are a blend.  I would have to say, based on their Analysis I lean more towards being Liberal for sure, tho' not Extremely so and have some Conservative leanings which aren't as dominant in my Personality and Experiences. 
Something to chew on and consider anyway as to our 'differences' being Deeper, and more Politically Exploitable on both Sides, than we might think:

Personality traits

Personality psychology, particularly using the "Big Five" model, has identified consistent correlations with political ideology. 

• Openness to Experience: This trait is strongly associated with a liberal mindset. Those high in openness are curious, imaginative, and embrace variety and new ideas.
• Conscientiousness: Conservatives tend to score higher on conscientiousness. This involves being organized, disciplined, and responsible.
• Other traits: While less consistent, some studies show a link between liberals and higher agreeableness, and between conservatives and lower agreeableness. Findings for neuroticism and extraversion have been mixed or less clear. 

Moral foundations theory

Psychologist Jonathan Haidt and his colleagues developed Moral Foundations Theory to explain how liberals and conservatives build their moral frameworks. 

• Liberals tend to build their morality primarily on two foundations:
  • Care/Harm: Protecting others from harm and suffering.
  • Fairness/Cheating: Ensuring justice and equal treatment for all.
• Conservatives use a broader "moral palette" that also heavily includes three "binding" foundations:
  • Ingroup/Loyalty: Protecting one's own group, family, or nation.
  • Authority/Respect: Deferring to authority figures and traditions.
  • Purity/Sanctity: Valuing spiritual and physical cleanliness and avoiding disgust. 

Biological and physiological reactions

Psychophysiological studies indicate that differences in mindset can be linked to physical responses and even brain structure. 

• Threat sensitivity: Conservatives tend to have a stronger and more pronounced physiological reaction to threatening or fear-inducing stimuli. This has been observed in their stronger reactions to stimuli like loud noises or disgusting images.
• Brain structure: Some research has found differences in brain regions associated with emotion and conflict processing. One study noted that liberals tended to have more gray matter in the anterior cingulate cortex (involved in conflict resolution), while conservatives had a larger amygdala (involved in emotional and threat evaluation). 

Responses to uncertainty and change

These psychological foundations lead to different approaches to the world and its problems.

• Embracing versus resisting change: Liberals are generally more comfortable with novelty, nuance, and complexity, and are more likely to advocate for social change. Conservatives, by contrast, are often more driven by a desire for security, predictability, and stability and tend to uphold traditional social arrangements.
• "Closed-mindedness": Historically, conservatives were described as more "closed-minded" or resistant to uncertainty than liberals. However, a 2020 meta-analysis found this difference has significantly diminished in the United States over time, suggesting that both liberals and conservatives have become more alike in their self-described "closed-mindedness". 

Differences in compassion and empathy

Studies also indicate that liberals and conservatives may express compassion differently. 

• Liberal empathy: Liberals tend to express greater compassion for larger, less-defined, and more permeable social circles (universalism), such as all of humanity.
• Conservative empathy: Conservatives, conversely, tend to express compassion for more localized, well-defined, and less-permeable social circles (parochialism), such as family or nation.
• Levels of empathy: Some studies have found that liberals show higher general levels of empathy than conservatives, while others suggest that both groups display similar levels but direct their empathy differently towards in-groups and out-groups. 

The interplay of nature and nurture

It is important to remember that these are average differences and do not define every individual. Research suggests that the psychological differences between liberals and conservatives are a product of both innate biological predispositions and environmental factors, such as upbringing, education, and social experiences.

*******

Remember, People are still People... therefore, be Humane and a Good Human...

Dawn... The Bohemian