Disclaimer: This post is not light, funny, positive, uplifting, nor inspiring. You have been warned.
I have been trying so hard to find inspiration to write something that isn’t negative or dark or as bleak as my Fourth of July post, but it is extremely difficult (if not impossible) for me.
Horrible, illegal, immoral, and inhumane things are happening in our Country every day, and I feel it in my spirit, so I don’t know how to share the “trials and tribulations” of my every day life while people are being kidnapped off the street, dragged from their homes, schools, jobs, courtrooms, and cars, and placed in concentration camps on American soil, something we all swore (and truly believed) would never happen again in the world, let alone the U.S.
People are being brutalized, abused, tortured, and targeted by the MAGA cult in every walk of life. Violent criminals and thugs are being pardoned and deputized to attack American citizens. Nazi flags now fly freely in many parts of the country. The “Supreme” Court, Department of “Justice” and the head of every major department in the country are subservient to, and supportive of, this walking shit covered bag of rotting skin and hair. Even politicians, faith leaders, teachers, children, and high ranking, respected members of the community who show any resistance to his war on Democracy are no longer safe, and it is only a matter of time before the crosshairs expand beyond immigrants and land on all of us dissidents who don’t bend the knee and tow the line. Entire institutions and corporations are bending to the Orange Nazi’s will, and I do not understand why.
Are the majority of people in this country truly this depraved? Do they really take pleasure at the subjugation, abuse, suffering, and dehumanization of other people? Are so many people really willing to give up their liberties, freedoms, livelihoods, medical care, and sanity, even their souls, just to see the utter downfall, defeat, and destruction of anyone that doesn’t look, sound, or think like them (aka “own the libs”)?
The disgusting lies and propaganda spewing forth on a daily basis is mind numbing. How long before loud speakers are set up on every corner, bombarding us with messages of subservience and threats of violence for not stepping in line? How does anyone look at this piece of shit and his cult of evil and admire them, believe them, and join them? How?
Everyday, I do my best to get through the day. I go to work, clean my house, buy grocery, do the laundry, prep and eat meals, focus on my hobbies, pet my dog, hug my husband, connect with my friends, and try desperately to tamp down the shame, horror, disgust, anxiety, fear and panic that has settled into my heart, mind and soul. But it all feels like I’m just biding my time, treading water, until it is my turn or the turn of someone I care abut to be whisked away.
Every day, I watch and read about and listen to people go about their lives as if nothing out of the ordinary is happening, that this is somehow all OK, normal, and/or justifiable, or that this will all just blow over somehow and things will return to “normal.”
HOW are we, as a nation, watching Democracy and humanity and justice crumble before our eyes and saying and doing nothing? WHO are we waiting for to save us?
Most of our elected officials, police force, and military are either cowering in fear, or joining the cult of oppression. There is no one left to help us, protect us, or save us. If we don’t do something ourselves, nobody will. But what to do? Even the few courageous heroes, protests, and boycotts that have popped up along the way, seem powerless to change the tide of hate, misery, lawlessness and subjugation. (But PLEASE keep doing all of it.)
I think of the people in my life and who who came to my blog and called me out for overreacting and demonizing the MAGA and their False Prophet of Evil. Do they still think I was over-reacting? Do they still think I was being unfair? Are they still willingly goose-stepping to the sound of the authoritarian beat? Are they all feeling safer, taken care of, financially secure, and happier? Are they getting the life, healthcare, income and country they dreamed of and hoped for now that innocent brown people are locked away in cages? Are they really sincerely OK with entire swathes of innocent, law abiding, non-violent human beings being kidnapped and crammed into unsanitary, unsafe spaces for unknown periods of time, with no bathroom facilities or clan water to drink or bathe in, being fed maggot infested food (if their fed at all,) and denied any contact with their families, legal representation, or outside world? Are they really sleeping peacefully and happily in their beds every night, still believing themselves to be moral people or loving children of whatever god they allege to believe in? I wish I believed in divine intervention and retribution, because I have no doubt they’d have to create a whole new level of hell to house and punish the people who helped make this happen, or stepped out of the way and allowed it to, without and ounce of hesitation or regret.
I wish I was a hero or natural born leader. I wish I was someone who could stand up and inspire people to resist, rebel, and start a revolution. I don’t have the intelligence, bravery, will power, or charisma. The best I know to do is keep speaking out against this fascist regime. Putting signs in my yard. Attending protests. Joining voices all across the country to shine a light on the cruelty and hate being used to exact revenge and establish control over anyone that refuses to keep their heads down, their mouths shut, and their opinions to themselves. But that’s not nearly enough, and I know it.
I hope someone better and stronger and smarter than me takes the stand we need and leads us the way we want. I hope someone channels all the energy and spirit of Rosa and Martin, Harvey and Martha, Obama and Ida, Ruth and Gloria, and inspires us to rise up, as a nation, and stop this corrupt regime from doing even more damage. And I hope, when the time comes, I have the courage to stand up and follow, to join the fight for the ideals and ideas I (and so many of us) hold dear, to turn course on the vile direction this country is going in.
I envy those who can continue about their lives and routines, able to find happiness and joy in every day life and block out the increasing cruelty and evil that is currently permeating every corner of our Country. I envy those who have the ability, resources, and cojones to devote all of their time and energy to fighting this fascist regime. And I envy those living in ignorant bliss of the evil that is slowly gutting our nation from the inside out.
But most of all, I envy those who left this plane of existence before this pawn of the devil took control, and didn’t have to live to see the rise of a wanna-be Hitler in their own backyard, (literally) heiled and worshiped by their very own friends, neighbors, family, government, religions organizations, and armed forces.
Because, even if we somehow pull out of this and turn things around. Even if justice and decency and law and order and humanity somehow prevail and begin to re-establish themselves as the way of the land; even if we start to reverse all the damage that has already been done to our population, social structures, environment, economy, and government; even then, how do we go on living and functioning in this society, knowing that roughly half the population we work and live with wanted this to happen and were OK with it and still support it. How do you re-integrate a society with such a deeply disparate sense of right and wrong among its people? How do we live among people willing to dehumanize people for the color of their skin, religion, sexuality, gender identity, and/or physical and mental abilities?How do we live among people who are weaponizing sympathy, empathy, compassion, equality, and equity to drive a wedge between us?
Quite frankly, I do not know how to keep living in a world and among a population that allowed this, and encourage this, to happened.
How do we find away to sit down with a group of bloodthirsty bigoted nazi-wannabes when this is all over? To set aside our differences and find common ground with people who currently want to imprison or destroy us?
After its all over…if it ever is….
…how do we shake hands with the Devil and move on?
Idle Eyes and a Dormy 
