Can't escape the gothic

 It's all around you, you know.

Don't feel bad for him that he had to play on a pretty crappy field

 If he didn't make that team, he was gonna work in that mill. 

If you need me....

....you can find me at Pizza Secret. 

Can't escape the gothic

 It's all around you, you know.

That's no way to talk, Bright Eyes!

 

Can't escape the gothic

 It's all around you, you know.

That one time my dad got arrested for trying to steal chairs from Yankee Stadium

 It was such a weird day!

A buddy of mine in college had a foot fetish

 He spent a fortune there.

Can't escape the gothic

 It's all around you, you know.

Siegfried and Roy before the tigers

 

Can't escape the gothic

 It's all around you, you know.

How much do New York City cops get paid now?