In a strange combination of fear, aggressivity, and sadness, I entered the place I dislike, witness of my discomfitures, or open defeats, the local branch of the Do-It-Yerself Imporium, the Baumarkt. Yes, I can hit a nail with a hammer, and that is it. You do not want me to use “power” “tools”. There are craftspeople, who learn their trade for some years, who can built, repair, and whatnot. Of course they want money, them basteds …
The water tap, or faucet, in my kitchen had given in months ago. In true Franconian form, I ignored the problem, manly. And found improvised ways around. But at a certain point ignoring does not work any more, action is needed. An idiot (me, mostly) installed that thing, so an idiot (me, only) should be able to replace it. Repair for the cheapest Wasserhahn available is out of question, a new machine is needed. Hence my expedition into the heart of darkness.
It was much better than I expected. Free parking space, all them do-it-yerselfers are on vacancy or in hospital. Maybe I just met a nice slot. Wednesday’s afternoon, not too late.
I easily found the space where the tapware / fittings are offered. Thankfully they now mount examples on a wall, there is a number to the item, and you simply pull the cardboard box with that number from the rack below. Easy. Even me can handle that, I can read. I saw the cheapest bog standard valve – twice. The difference for the untrained eye was five €. I pulled both packages, looked at them, and did not get it. So I turned towards the next available expert.
And to my utter amazement, and totally different from my former experiences, I not only found a salesperson nearby, but the guy did not run away when I approached him with my two packages and a questionable face. That’s what they used to do.
We looked at the both items, and finally the man found the difference : One of these unremarkable faucets is for use in the bathroom, the other for use in the kitchen. The difference is the actual height of the “pipe” (or how you may call it, bibcock ?) where the water streams out : The kitchen thing is higher, so one can put a (high) jar under it, think of the big, and high, noodle pot. Learning never stops !
I spare you the details of the following mechanical madness. I installed what had to be installed, while the problem was more to un-install the chalk crusted tap. I did all this in a manly way, what means that a quick glance on one of the exploded assembly drawings was of course enough for orientation, pre-fetching tools is obviously for the weak.
Now the kitchen floor is clean, mopped freshly, a new shiny, chrome gleaming apparatus is installed. And tomorrow, when all is dry, I will even open the water line for real, ready to combat the unavoidable drip to come.
Now you know the difference between a bathroom appliance and a kitchen appliance that first look all the same. Now I know that I have to reduce that damn belly asap, die Wampe muß weg !
Sorry, no music, I was looking for some plumber song, but found nothing.
I just wait for the next drip.
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