Technical Difficulties

      Well, I hope your Christmas was a merry one. I've been trying to respond to comments in the last post but my old laptop is being a bit touchy.  It might be time to retire the old girl. I just have to work myself up to tackle the tech upgrade. What I wanted to say was that I think the reason I was still feeling a bit guilty about letting some relationships run their course, as if doing so was an admission they were false or not important to begin with, which is rubbish.  Now, moving on to new business. We had a very nice holiday this year, one evening for family, one evening to ourselves, and another evening with the kids.  Here's a question for you, have you ever heard the bit of folklore attached to gift knives and pennies?  I'd totally forgotten about it. I gave a little pocket knife to Puddles for Christmas, and the next night he used it at the dinner table. Later I was washing the dishes and cut my finger on it, just a nip but there was a little blood. I went to the bathroom to grab a band aid and was shocked to realize that I'd forgotten to have him give me a couple of pennies for the knife, so shocked that I dropped the metal lid of the band aid jar and it bounced off the sink and against the toilet and made quite a racket. Next thing I know everyone is running into the bathroom expecting to find me dead on the floor. I tried to explain the penny thing, but they looked at me as if I were nuts.  Now the way I heard it, when you give someone a knife you have to ask them for a couple pennies so as to prevent the knife (and them, I guess) from doing you harm in the future. In looking it up, there are lots of variations of the superstition and a whole bunch of others connected to knife etiquette.  Anyway, if you've got a favorite bit of knife superstition or have ever broken the penny rule and lived tell the tale let me know.

Taking Stock

 

     It's been a weird kind of year spent figuring out which friendships and family relationships are, or are not, as important to me as they once were.  Some didn't require much thought, like the cousins and aunts that hadn't bothered to keep in touch over decades but called the very day after we buried my dad just to find out if they were mentioned in the will.  Then there were the friendships which of course didn't involve any dramatic arguments or blow ups, they just entered into that kind of mutual and silent agreement that people seem to make when life takes them in different directions.  I kind of felt bad about it for a while, but here I am, with more years behind me than ahead of me.  I'm not sure what I'm trying to say, other than I guess it's that time of year and I'm taking stock, trying to figure out who is important in my life.  Not only that, but how to keep myself important to them. 

Back For An Early Thanksgiving

 

     Well, the trip was certainly fun, parts of it anyway. Oregon was misty, rainy, stormy even, and the fall colors were in their prime. Compared to the summer trips I usually make, it felt like Puddles and I had the place to ourselves. We did some fun hiking, had our share of misadventures, but overall I'm glad to be home.  Some of the family we visited on the way drove me nuts for little, unimportant reasons, and it was a good reminder that as one gets older it's good to have at hand other topics of conversation besides medicines and doctors. We're back though, and now it's time to get ready for our early holiday with Slim. He and his girlfriend are coming over tomorrow and he's specifically requested an early Thanksgiving. It's been great not having to fight the hordes in the supermarket crowds, and I've already made the red cabbage and prepped the bird. Since this is a super lazy day Thanksgiving, I've decided to skip the whole bird and roast just thighs and a breast.  So much easier in every way with better results that I think I'm going to go this route from here on out as long as I'm the one doing the cooking. Well, that's the update for now. I hope your holiday, whether you've already celebrated or are anticipating the big day was or will be full of good conversation and good food with friends and family that don't drive you too crazy.

Hitting The Road

      There's lots of excitement and busy work around here as we get ready to head up the coast. First a quick stop to see Slim, then back to Oregon for the first time in an age. I wanted to camp along the way, and Puddles pretended he wanted to but after our last trip I could tell he was humoring me.  It took me three days to drag out the truth from him, but now that he finally admitted it there's a spring in his step. He comes from a huge family, and the way he learned to get along was to keep his head down and his feelings to himself in order to not piss anyone off and after all these years he can't shake that habit. It's all sorted now and I'm looking to being back in one of my favorite places in the world. So much hiking to do, so many tide pools to explore, and so much good beer to drink!

      It's been a while, but I finally tackled a big hike again and got my confidence back! Puddles and I set out yesterday with a friend who leads hikes for the Sierra Club on a fairly easy 7 mile hike. There were eight of us in the group. Two women showed up unprepared, neither had day packs and one brought barely a pint of water for the day. It was interesting to watch them as the day went on, they exhibited that same kind of pride that had previously kept me from admitting defeat and turning back around. When it became clear they were starting to struggle my friend would ask them if needed water (everyone had brought extra), a snack, or a rest break but they refused every offer. So the group slowed down, and eventually we all made it back to the starting point. My friend did a great job as the hike leader. She made sure to politely offer extra equipment and water to the two women before we started, noticed when they were worn out and offered the chance to turn the group around, and remained pleasant and supportive through the whole hike without a hint of "I told you so" in her voice.

     So here's what I learned (or was reminded of) from this hike. Bird watching is not hiking, and spending two or three hours walking around the duck ponds doesn't get me the miles or cardio that the same time spent hiking does. I did my research, checked the weather, brought extra water, and kept up with tiny snacks (pitted dates) during the hike instead of waiting to have a complete lunch at the mid-point. I also experimented with the energy gummies I decided to always keep in the bottom of my pack after the last time things went bad. I highly recommend these. So at the end of a long hike on a day that started cool and got hot, I was tired, hungry, and sore but the confidence boost more than made up for it.

Do I Have A Story For You

      Settle in kids because grandma here is going to tell you a story, a story of pain, degradation, and how in spite of knowing all the rules I managed to get myself into quite a jackpot the other day.  It ended with me having to pick burrs out of the crotch of my pants, but well get to that later.  It all started when I decided to go out for a hike. I knew it was going to be a warm day, but I didn't bother to check the weather report (mistake #1).  I got a bit of a late start, but the trail overlooks the ocean and there is always a nice breeze there so I wasn't too worried about it.  I drank a bunch of water before starting, took some more with me, and decided to leave half of it in the car so I'd have a nice cold drink waiting for me at the end of my hike (mistake #2).  This was a loop hike I've done numerous times before, I had my normal amount of water, and I was cruising at a slow pace. What could go wrong?  Well, at about two miles in I started feeling the heat. I didn't have too far to get to the top of the ridge, and from there it was just two miles to the trail back down to the parking lot.  So I just decided it would be easier to go forward, after all I didn't want to be a quitter (mistake #3).  I kept on, stopping frequently to sit in the shade and catch my breath, sipping my water.  It was becoming a struggle, but one I thought I was handling.  During one of my stops, I realized that no one knew where I was.  I'd told my husband I was going hiking, but I didn't tell him what trail I'd be taking (mistake #4).  I shot him a text to let him know. At that point I still thought I was doing ok, but by the time I got to the ridge about forty minutes later I was exhausted and my water was gone.  I was still sweating, that was a good sign, but at my rest stops I'd feel slightly dizzy when I stood up. I decided it was time to admit to myself, and others, that I had lost and it was time to quit.  I called the ranger station and explained the situation.  I figured I was right at the junction of the trail and a fire road, and it might be possible to send a truck up the trail to meet me as I tried to continue on.  The lady I spoke with said it would probably be easier and quicker if I started back down the hill the way I'd just hiked.  So I said I'd do that, stopping frequently to rest.  She said someone would check in with me by phone every twenty minutes or so.  It was getting late and I was officially now a situation that was being passed from ranger to ranger as they ended their shifts.  At one of my last rest stops, I saw a water bottle in the bushes and it had about an inch of water in it!  I grabbed it.  Was I desperate enough to swig it down right then and there?  Not quite, but I did put a few drops of bleach from my emergency kit in it just in case I did need it later.  I pressed on until I finally realized I didn't have what it would take to make that last climb up and over the hill to the parking lot. I could see the highway that went past the park entrance.  I thought I'd be better off just bushwacking down to the road and walking back that way to the park entrance, at least it would be flat.  Fuck it, I thought, I could cross the road and hitch the 500 yards back to the park.  I absolutely hate bushwacking, but I was that desperate.  While I was standing there trying to make up my mind, I got a call from the last ranger.  I told him what I was planning to do and he said, "Well, I could just pick you up."  O.K. buddy, why don't you just do that!  So I stomped my way through the waist high brush, whacking ahead of me with my hiking poles to scare away any snakes that might have been in my path, but to be fucking honest at that point I was ready for a snake to take me out.  On the way back, four and a half hours after I first set foot on the trail, the ranger said they could have sent a truck for me at the top of the ridge.  Why didn't the first ranger offer to do that?  I realized that was my fault (mistake #5).  I knew I was in trouble and didn't clearly and frankly tell the first ranger to send help.  I didn't want to be that person.  In spite of all my mistakes I made it home, cranked up the AC, and drank gallons of water. After a shower and a tick check, as I sat there picking burrs from my boots and the crotch of my britches, I thanked the heavens that all I had to show from my misadventure was an ant bite on my ankle, a fly bite on my little finger, and some wicked leg cramps.  Don't be like grandma, kids. It's not enough to know the rules, you've gotta follow 'em, too.

A Little PTSD

     I got a call Monday from a friend who needed a ride home from the ER. It was nothing life threatening and she's resting comfortably at home now. It's shocking how fast I went into hospital mode. Drop everything, prioritize what needs to be done, boom boom boom. Pharmacy, take stock of supplies, pets, get what's needed, clean up the house so nothing gets in the way.  Now that I have had a minute to breathe, I realize that I'm going through a bit of delayed PTSD this morning. It's been at least a year and a half since both my dad and husband were in and out of the hospital, doctor's offices, and labs at about the same time.  It all came back this morning, bubbling up to the surface in the form of sadness, anxiety, and physical pain. Looks like I picked a bad time to give up coffee, as the old joke goes. So I'm going to visit with my friend this morning, take over some extra cat food, and then when that's over I'll go for a nice long walk. Some crying might be involved, but I'm glad I'm able to recognize this for what it is.