First Snow Of The Season

 

Last year we got by without any significant snow. 

I didn't mind. I hate the snow.

Nice to look at but very treacherous for this old man. Talk to my torn quadricep leg muscle of ten years ago about that.

A couple of days we received our first snow of the season. Not much by Iowa standards but a fair amount for us. About four inches. 

I didn't dare shovel our driveway. I'm not taking any chances of slipping and falling and breaking any of my old bones. Come to think of it, I've never broken a bone in my body. I've had a lot of other body failures but no broken bones. And I plan to keep that record. Thus, no going on on the black ice in my driveway that underlies the snow and shoveling.

With our black macadamed driveway the sun melts the snow which it did yesterday. We still have ice at the "lake" at the end of our driveway. Our poor fish pond is frozen over. I hope my dozen or so goldfish can survive this winter too like they did last year. Those goldfish are amazing at how hardy they are. Dig the pond deep enough and they survive and I had that pond dug four feet deep. They're down there, moving slowly. In a cold stupor no doubt. They manage.

With the sunshine, everything is a brilliant white outside. I definitely had to wear my wrap around eye exam sunglasses yesterday when I drove myself and Bill to Food Lion for groceries. 

Already I see green shoots of new daffodil growth bravely pushing through the snow. Those daffodils are relentless. 

Have a great day everyone and if you're in snow country, be careful!

Edward "Bud" Tipton Funeral Service

Yesterday was the funeral service for my cousin Edward "Bud" Tipton.

I so wanted to attend his services in person but taking the two and a half hour trip to Pennsylvania just wasn't practical. I would have to take Bill with me and he is so weak these days. Also, there was the issue of possibility of snow. I didn't want to take that chance. As it turned out, yesterday was a sunny day. Today the snow falls here in southern Delaware.

Bud's services were at the same funeral home in Downingtown, Pennsylvania that held both of my parent's services. This is the same place where I will make my final exit. I don't know who will take care of my funeral services but I hope my services is the same as Bud's. 

Like Bud, I'm religiously affiliated with any church. I'm spiritual, I just don't do organized religion. I found it interesting that the minister who performed Bud's services didn't know Bud personally but still was able to project the kind of man Bud was. It was interesting that he kept referring to Bud as "Ed." We didn't know Bud as "Ed." 

I had planned to give my own eulogy for my dear cousin if I had attended. This is that eulogy.

Bud Tipton Funeral Service 

January 18, 2024

Good Morning. I am Ron Tipton, Bud Tipton’s first cousin. His family knows me as “Ronnie Tipton.” 

I am the guy in the famous “Fishing Picture.” 

I haven’t seen Bud in person for many years but we always kept in touch with the annual Christmas card exchange that so many of us do when we go different ways in our lives.

Every Sunday used to go to Ed and Mabel’s.

Our Mothers used to work together at Pepperridge Farm.

Both Bud and I love gardening and landscaping.

I always wanted to invite Bud down here to where I live in Delaware to show off my landscaping skills, which of course came no where near his skills. I regret now that I never got around to it.

For the last three years I have been the full-time caregiver to my 95 year old husband Bill Kelly who suffered a series of strokes. When Bill first came home from the rehab unit I was overwhelmed. I knew and admired Bud’s caregiving for his Mother Mabel. I called Bud and asked his advice at how to cope. Bud’s advice, which I have repeated many times to friends and family the past three years was “Ronnie,, you do what you have to do.” And that was Bud. A man of few words but meaningful and very practical help.

I wish I was there in person today for Bud’s services but I am thankful that I can share this memory with all of you who cared so much for this man who will be greatly missed by all those who knew him. Maybe I wasn’t able to share my garden with Bud in this life but I know Bud is in a perfect garden now and no doubt dispensing with his landscaping advice.

Thank you.

The eulogies were given by his nephew Anthony on behalf of his brother Joe (who lives in Croatia) and his niece Chrissie. They both delivered beautiful eulogies that captured the essence of my cousin Bud. One of his co-workers also delivered a heartfelt eulogy. Oh how I wish I could have rounded out those eulogies with my own. 

Rest in peace dear cousin. You leave a wonderful legacy behind. 

Bud in front of his house and his wonderful landscaping

Bud Tipton Obituary

Edward Walter "Bud" Tipton, Jr.
1941-2024

Normally I wouldn't post an obituary on this blog but but this obituary written for my cousin is perhaps the best obituary I have ever read. I suspect his niece wrote it, writing is her profession. She has worked for several newspapers. 

She has captured the essence of her Uncle Bud without being over fawning or too short. 

I will be unable to attend Bud's funeral which is this Thursday. His is the second funeral I've been unable to attend because I am caring for Bill. I had considered taking Bill with me for the two and a half hour ride to Pennsylvania and checking in a hotel overnight. Bill wants to see Pennsylvania one more time. However, two reasons I am unable to take him this time is because of the weather forecast for snow, rain and sleet. I'm also unable to make contact with his sister to confirm if I can speak a few words about my friend and cousin Bud. I also wanted to speak at my brother John's funeral last year but was advised they wanted to keep the funeral short and no one but the pastor would speak. I had left a message on his sister's phone that I would like to speak but I haven't received a response from her. I've called five times. Of course she's probably busy with making the arrangements and dealing with other family members. And perhaps it's just as well that I don't take Bill on that long trip to Pennsylvania. Bill continues to get weaker every day. A trip that length would be hard on both of us.  I believe Bud's funeral service will be live streamed. I'll watch that as I did his twin sister's funeral services a couple years ago. That was the first time I watched a live stream of a funeral service. What a wonderful service for those who cannot attend in person. But oh how I so wanted to attend his services. It just is not to be though.

Here is Bud's obituary:

Edward “Bud” Tipton Jr., 82, of Downingtown, passed away on Friday, January 12, 2024 at Accelerate Skilled Nursing and Rehabilitation, Exton.

Born in West Chester, Edward was the son of the late Edward W. and Mabel R. (Thompson) Tipton.

He served his country in the U.S. Army as a military policeman before joining Johnson Matthey in Malvern, Pa., in 1969, where he would go on to work as a cost estimator for 42 years and where he made many lifelong friends. 

Edward was an avid outdoorsman who was happiest in nature. He greatly looked forward to a yearly fishing trip with friends in the wooded hills of his parents’ native North Carolina, always triumphantly returning with coolers that brimmed with fresh brook trout. His skill as a fisherman was unmatched and he delighted in quietly, patiently, passing his knowledge on to others. 

The garden is yet another place Edward excelled, faithfully harvesting his (regionally) famed tomatoes and sweet corn each and every summer. He also grew an annual abundance of wildflowers which spilled over tidy borders in every shade of the rainbow. Edward’s green thumb was nowhere more apparent than his early autumn skin, an impossibly deep bronze that made his impossibly blue eyes twinkle and shine all the more. 

At the end of a long day, Edward enjoyed nothing more than retiring to his garage to watch the sunset with a stiff drink, his pipe and one of the several yellow Labrador retrievers he cared for over the years.

Edward was as comfortable with solitude as he was in a crowd. He was authentic and kindhearted. Generous in every respect. A calming and steady presence, a travel partner, a patriarch. A genuinely good and decent man, who was beloved by all who knew him. 

He will be, and already is, deeply missed.

He is survived by his sisters, Barbara Keehn and Janet Drozdowski, along with many nieces and nephews.

In addition to his parents, Edward was preceded in death by his twin sister Joan Tipton Salluzzo and his sister Linda Tipton.

A visitation will be held on Thursday, January 18, 2024 from 9:45-10:45 AM at James J. Terry Funeral Home, 736 E. Lancaster Ave., Downingtown, PA 19335. A funeral service will be held at 11 AM at the funeral home. Interment will follow at Union Hill Cemetery, Kennett Square.

Ten Things Time Has Taught Me

Me, 1958 - Young and Stupid

At my age (82), I have been reflecting on my life a lot lately. 

Have I had a good life? 

Yes! Absolutely!

Have I had difficulties?

Again, yes! Absolutely!

But here is what I know. I came across this list on a friend's Facebook post and the ten things time has taught me hit home with me. Read them and I'm confident these life lessons will connect with you too. Time for reflection folks.

10 THINGS TIME HAS TAUGHT ME

1. Most of our life is spent chasing false goals and worshipping fans ideals. The day you realize that is the day you really start to live.

2. You really, truly cannot please all of the people all of the time. Please yourself first and your loved ones second, everyone else is busy pleasing themselves anyway, trust me.

3. Fighting the aging process is like trying to catch the wind. Go with it, enjoy it. Your body is changing but it always has been. Don't waste time trying to reverse that, instead change your mindset to see the beauty in the new.

4. Nobody is perfect and nobody is truly happy with their lot. When that sinks in your are free of comparison and free of judgement. It's truly liberating.

5. No one really sees what you do right, everyone sees what you do wrong. When that becomes clear to you, you will start doing things for the right reason and you will start having so much more fun.

6. You will regret the years you spent berating your looks, the sooner you can make peace with the vessel your soul lives in, the better. Your body is amazing and important but it does not define you.

7. Your health is obviously important but stress, fear and worry are far more damaging than any delicious food or drink  you may deny yourself. Happiness and peace are the best medicine. 

8. Who will remember you and for what, become important factors as you age. Your love and your wisdom will live on far longer than any material thing you can pass down. Tell your stories, they can travel farther than you can imagine.

9. We are not here for long but if you are living against the wind it can feel like a life-sentence. Life should not feel like a chore, it should feel like an adventure.

10. Always, always, drink the good champagne and use the things you keep for "best". Tomorrow is guaranteed to no one. Today is a gift that's why we call it the present. Eat, Drink & Be Merry. 

Now, having said all this I wish I had bought that 2,000 of Apple stock when it was $25 a share in 1998 and accepted that first offer on our Pennsylvania house. 

What a wonderful journey this life has been. I'm thinking this even more today now that my cousin Bud has passed. We were the same age and alike in so many ways. His life journey on this planet has ended. I wonder where he is now and if we will ever see each other again. But I believe this is it. So make the most out of your life folks. Deal with the deck we were given at birth. We only go around once.

Bud

My cousin Bud Tipton and (skinny) me - 1953

 Edward "Bud" Tipton was one of my thirty-six first paternal cousins. 

Of all my cousins, my Uncle Ed and Aunt Mabel had the coolest children. 

They lived in the country. We lived in town. 

Almost every Sunday during the late Forties and early Fifties my parents would take us for a Sunday ride to "Ed and Mabel's." This was before all the developments, it was all country with an occasional farm.

Ed and Mabel's home in the country did not have electricity, plumbing (outhouse) or running water (they had a hand water pump with a well). But those days "in the country" were pure bliss for us "city kids." As you see in the photo above, there are some happy kids. From left to right in the back are my (late) brother John, cousin Janet, my other brother Isaac, Bud and me. Check out the "muscles" on me. Damn I was skinny. At that time (1951 I think) I was the tallest of my brothers but they eventually overtook me as we progressed into adulthood.

Bud was the oldest with his twin sister Sis. He also had three  younger sisters. 

Back in those days we were viciously poor. But I think just about everyone was poor so we really weren't that conscious of how poor we were. All we knew was we always had a fabulous time when we visited Ed and Mabel's and all played in those innocent days of the Fifties summers. I think Bud was glad to see me and my brothers come over, what with all those girls in his household.

Bud never married. He was always very private about his life. 

In the later Fifties his family moved to a house closer to Downingtown, where me and my brothers lived. Those Sunday visits with Aunt Mabel's fabulous fried chicken and biscuits ended. However we all still remained friends over the years, although we didn't visit as often as I would have liked.

I always felt I had a special connection with Bud and his family as did my father with his brother Ed, Sr.

One day in 1951 my father and his brother Ed took me and Bud to a fishing rodeo in West Chester. I had fished a few times but wasn't a "fisherman."  Bud was the fisherman. Of course, wouldn't you know it, I won the fishing contest for catching the biggest fish (a 13 inch bass).

9-1-1951 Ronnie and Bud Tipton West Chester Fishing Rodeo

The local newspaper took out picture and published it, twice. One in 1951 and once thirty years later with one of those "Thirty Years Ago" memory photos. I framed that picture and gave bud one of the framed copies and I have one. 

This is a picture of my Uncle Ed and my father Ike Tipton at the same fishing rodeo.

Here are some more pictures of our Sunday outings at Ed and Mabel's from he late Forties to the early Fifties.

Me on let with arms folded, and my brothers John and Isaac. My Aunt Mabel is behind me and next to her is my Mother

I'm standing in the from with my arms folded. Bud (he was born with a permanent tan) is too my right. My two younger brothers are to my left. The rest of the kids are Tipton cousins and other aunts and uncles in addition to my Mother. I think my father took the picture because he isn't in it. This was about 1951.

I have this picture framed and on the wall above this desk where I am typing this blog post. Every time I look at it I am reminded of those wonderful summer days at Ed and Mabel's. Money cannot buy that kind of happiness

And I will end with the priceless picture of our earliest visit to Ed and Mabel's. This picture had to be taken in 1946 considering how little me and my brothers are.

Me in the center with the big smile and the combed hair. Bud is to my left. 1946

I think the last time I saw Bud was when this photo was taken in 2005.

Me with my cousin Bud Tipton 2005

I wish I had kept more in touch with Bud and his family but you know how "life" takes over. 

A few weeks ago I called his sister. She had received my Christmas card where I stated I was now Bill's caregiver. She had left a message on my iPhone that she wanted to talk to me. When I called she told me that she was now Bud's caregiver. She said he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's about three years ago. Last week she called to tell me Bud was in the hospital with a respiratory infection. This morning she called to tell me Bud had passed last night. 

I am going to move Heaven and Earth to go to his funeral service. Wish me luck. 

High School graduation Day for Tipton Cousins 1959
From left to right me, cousin Joan "Sis" Tipton (Bud's twin sister), Cousins Louise and Bud. We had the world before us. 

Bill's Health Update

 

Bill had a setback today.

He woke up this morning very dizzy. He told me he fell last night. He fell two more times this morning.

I called his VA nurse and she arrived shortly thereafter in this horrid wind and rain weather we're having right now, even as I write this post at 8:06 PM tonight.

She took his blood and urine sample.  Bill doesn't have a fever but his blood pressure was below normal. Going to the emergency room is out of the question. We're not doing that again.

Now is the time for decision making. If Bill has a urinary infection, which is common for someone his age and health condition, then she will prescribe medications or that. If not, then she suggested either hospice care (again, Bill has already been on hospice care twice) or a rehab facility. Bill is not going to a rehab facility. She will have the results of the tests tomorrow and we will make the decision then.

Because Bill is so wobbly he's finally using both of the walkers we have in the house, that we've collected over several hospital stays (I even gave one away to the thrift store). He's also using my old cane from my leg injury way back in 2013 (how long ago that seems). 

Of a big concern for both of us is Bill going up and down the stairs to his bathroom and bedroom, both of which are located in the basement. We tried to dissuade him from using the stairs but he won't hear of it. We both decided that he should have some control over his life. He is very careful going down and up the stairs. He uses both the railing and the wall to steady himself. His other falls were caused by him refusing to use a walker or a cane, which he now uses. He finally came to his senses on that part.

I am exhausted now. I don't want to go to bed this early but with the wind and rain whipping against our house, I am sorely tempted to climb into my comfortable, flannel sheeted bed and sleep away my worries. 

We also had the suicide watch people visit and call. Bill has expressed a desire to kill himself and end this misery for all. The VA health care system is rightly concerned about his possibility. I don't think Bill would do such a thing but I have hidden all the sharp instruments like the scissors that he often uses.

While all this was going on I received a text from my good friend and former classmate Bill B. (another "Bill"), informing me that our fellow classmate who has kept our class together all these years is now in the hospital under hospice palliative care with congestive heart failure and pneumonia.  She is the one who has always informed us of other classmates' passing or illnesses. This is getting too much folks.

I am so tired.

Ron's New Selfie January 8 2024

My selfie taken this morning January 8, 2024.

How is this folks for starting the New Year off? I'm posting this selfie of me, wrinkles and all taken a few minutes ago. Yes folks, I have earned every wrinkle. 

This morning I just returned from my annual VA checkup. Looks like I'm going to be here for a little while longer. And as an extra bonus, I got to see my old doctor ("old" in as he was my VA doctor for a long time) again. Not in person but via TeleHealth (the VA's version of Zoom) but still it was a very pleasant surprise to visit with him again. He knows all my foibles and problems. 

The last time I saw him was pre COVID and before I was caregiving for Bill. I told him of the problems (depression) I was occasionally incurring in my caregiving responsibilities. Like many people I have spoken to since I've been caregiving, the good doctor has given me excellent advice, the main one being "Make sure you take care of yourself too." He has also prescribed for me a small dosage of a mood altering drug. This should be interesting. It's all about "uplifting my serantonian" or something like that. We'll see how that works out. He said it will make me "feel better". Somedays I do get down folks, especially when the weather is overcast and rainy outside as it has been the last few weeks. Also when my mailbox gets smashed and not fixed (I'm still waiting on Amazon to fix it).

So folks, the selfie picture of me at the beginning of this blog, which took some doing to create since I didn't want my iPhone in the picture too, is me at 82 years old; wrinkles, lopsided eyes, gray hair and all. No longer a young stud with a life of adventure ahead of me. Now I'm officially an Old Geezer just living one day at a time.

Have a great day!