School nurse hero

Earlier this week we had a near tragedy at my school. With no warning, an 11 year old boy collapsed in class. The teacher called the office for the nurse to come immediately, and it was obvious she was frantic. When the nurse (and the principal, assistant principal, and security guard) got there the boy had no pulse, wasn't breathing, and was already turning blue. The nurse commenced CPR and when that wasn't working she sent someone to run to her office for an AED (portable defibrillator). She had to use the defibrillator 4 times to restart his heart. 

Back in the office, I called 911 although I wasn't sure what exactly was happening. The ambulance arrived and took him to the hospital, and they airlifted him to Charleston after he was stabilized. 

It turned out the boy had suffered cardiac arrest. Had there not been an AED available (and someone who knew how to use it) he would have died. Our school nurse saved his life.

Here's a link to the news article about it: 

https://wpde.com/news/local/he-was-pulseless-florence-mom-praises-school-after-childs-sudden-cardiac-arrest-florence-school-district-1#

Luke was actually able to FaceTime with his class from his hospital bed in Charleston yesterday! It's a miracle that he survived. Our school nurse has been very modest about what she did, but there's no doubt she saved this child's life. 

Stormy day at home

 Really strong storms with high winds, hail, and the chance of tornadoes will be rolling through the area starting at about lunchtime today. For this reason, the school district (along with most districts in eastern South Carolina) have called for an "e-learning" day. Everyone stays home and the students log onto Google Classroom with their school-issued laptops to do their work and get credit for attendance. With winds expected to gust over 50 mph this afternoon, it wouldn't be safe for school buses on the road. 

Working from home, for me, only involves a couple of hours of answering the school phones (with the Zoom app on my cell phone) and checking my email. I'm covering the phones for the first three hours of the day, and the receptionist will take over at 11:00 to finish out the afternoon. So far, I've only had one call this morning. Since the days of Covid everyone has gotten used to e-learning days and knows what to do.

It's so nice to be able to stay home when bad weather threatens. I'm very lucky. As long as I keep my phone nearby this morning, I can stay in pajamas, drink coffee, write on my blog, and hang out with the dogs and Marco. 

Hopefully we won't get any tornadoes! That's my only weather-related worry today.

Starting off the year

 It's a chilly, rainy day here and I'm grateful for my snug, warm house. A couple of friends asked if I wanted to hang out/go get coffee/get lunch (knowing that Gregg works an almost 12-hour day on Saturdays) but I think I'd rather spend the day at home with the dogs and Marco. I certainly appreciate everyone's kindness and concern, but all I really want to do is stay in my pajamas and read, watch old episodes of Bake Off, and putter around the house. 

I went back to work yesterday. I'm glad I chose Friday as my first day back; I got the questions about dad and expressions of sympathy out of the way but was so busy catching up on work that there wasn't much time for talking. I was also able to get caught up on everything which will make Monday a lot easier.

These past three weeks have seemed so long, what with Covid, finding out my dad was ill enough for hospice, finding out dad was actually dying, the death, and then the holidays going on during it all. So much has happened in the last month. Resuming a normal schedule is going to feel really good. 

A belated Happy New Year to you all, and thanks again for all the kindness and support. I look forward to being more present here now that things are starting to settle down.

My dad

My favorite picture of me and my dad, circa 1980ish

My dad died on New Year's Day, around 1:15 in the afternoon. I was at home when I got the call. We had been expecting it at any moment for two or three days at that point, but it still somehow felt like a shock. It still doesn't seem real sometimes. How can my dad not exist anymore? It's hard to wrap my head around. 

Dad was kept comfortable those last few days and slipped away quietly and peacefully at the end. I'm so grateful for that. He had been very, very sick for a long time. As sad as it is that he's gone, it's a comfort to know that he's beyond all pain and suffering now. 

My dad was a kind, gentle, and generous man. Although he had lots of faults and made plenty of mistakes in his life, he was a good father to me. I never remember him so much as raising his voice to me, ever. For all the issues my family had when I was growing up (and we had plenty), I never once doubted his love for me. I hope he never doubted mine for him.

I was always my dad's little girl. I always will be.

Vigil

I'll never forget how I'm spending New Year's Eve 2023. For two days now my dad's blood pressure and pulse have been so low as to be unmeasurable, but he's still (just barely) breathing. The hospice nurse that came out today was surprised that he's still holding on.

I told my mom that he's determined to see the new year in. My dad is tougher than I knew. 

Dad's getting very small doses of morphine here and there, and he seems comfortable and peaceful. I'm grateful for that. He still responds a little to voices and touch. It surely won't be long now.

I'll try to be back soon, but in the meantime, I wish you all a Happy New Year. Thank you for another year of friendship and kindness.

Hanging in there

What a difference a good sleep makes.

I haven't been sleeping well lately; no surprise I supposed given everything that's going on. Most of last night wasn't much better. In addition to stress, I've started having some pre-menstrual sleep disturbances due to (probable) perimenopause. At this point in my cycle nowadays I wake up throughout the night drenched in sweat and then I shiver because it's cold and my nightclothes and hair are damp. I have stressful dreams, too. It was that way last night, but then at sunrise I dropped back off and slept like a stone for three more hours. Now I feel almost human again.

Thanks everyone for your support on my last couple of posts. I haven't responded to each of you individually because it's just too emotionally draining, but know that I appreciate all the kindness. 

A couple of book club friends have invited me to lunch in an hour, and I'm planning to go. I need to get out of the house for a few. I'm actually looking forward to going back to work next week because sitting at home stewing over everything isn't helping me or anybody else. Of course I'll take whatever time off my mom needs for me to be with her, but except for that I'd rather be busy and try to distract myself. Right now I'm just taking one day at a time and dealing with things as they come. 

Thanks again for all the kind words, everyone.

A hard day

 I'm so glad this holiday season is almost over. It's not really my favorite time of year to begin with, and this one has been especially painful.

I finally went to see my mom and dad today, now that the danger of spreading Covid is over. At my mom's suggestion I picked up a pizza on the way there for our lunch, but neither of us felt like eating it. One of the hospice nurses had been out early this morning, and my mom wanted to talk to me about what she'd said.

The nurse says dad is now "actively dying". She thinks he may only have a few days left to live. I wasn't particularly shocked at the news, but it still felt like a dagger in my heart. The kind nurse had offered to stay until I got there, to explain things to me, but mom had told her that it wasn't necessary. They're stopping all his medications (he's almost unable to swallow at this point) save for morphine drops to put under his tongue as needed and something else to keep him from feeling anxious. It almost certainly won't be long now. 

Mom also wanted to discuss plans for after dad dies. His wish is to be cremated, and mom doesn't think she can bear to have a funeral right away. She wanted to make sure I'd be okay with that; I'm actually more than okay with it. It's a relief. I can't stand the thought of funeral homes, and embalming, and having to see a bunch of people when we're dealing with grief. And the expensive of all that would be ridiculous, too. 

The plan is to have the cremation go ahead immediately and then at some point in the future having a small gravesite service where his ashes will be interred next to my grandparents. Something very simple, with family only, and after a little time has passed. I think it's a good plan.

I went in to see dad twice today. He woke up enough to talk to me a little both times. Before I left the second time I told him I loved him. He said, "I love you too. Take care of yourself." 

That "take care of yourself" gutted me.

 I had intended to stay with my mom for a little longer, but at that point I had to leave. I can't stand to cry in front of other people, even my mother, and I felt like I was about to choke. Of course I told mom I can come back any time she needs me, but right at that moment I had to get out of there. It was a sad ride home. I'm having a harder time with all this than I expected. 

I don't know if I'll see my dad again. My mom asked me if I wanted her to call me as soon as he dies so I can dash down to see him before his body is taken away.  I told her to call me if SHE needs me, and that I'll come right away, but that I don't necessarily want to see a lifeless shell. She understood. She just wanted to make sure she could honor my wishes and I respect her for that. 

It's a hard thing, saying goodbye to a parent. Tonight I feel like a sad little girl on the inside. My heart aches.

Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve has dawned gloriously bright, sunny, and warm. It's supposed to get up to almost 70 degrees today, a big change from last year's frigid weather. 

We're both feeling totally well and recovered from Covid. We're still spending the holiday quietly at home, though. Some good food and sweets (slightly pared down from a typical year), walks with the dogs, movies, wine, and small glasses of eggnog laced with spiced rum are on the agenda. We'll be seeing family and friends later in the week. 

From our home to yours, Merry Christmas!