6085 - Two versions

6084 - Water cremation

Well, Deb has hit on another post topic that I have on my list, cremation. Only this time it's a newer type of cremation, water cremation. 

The following is an article from interesting engineering.com. The link is the article but with a bunch of links.

***************

There are multiple alternatives to what's going to happen to your remains after you're dead. Everyone's familiar with burials and cremation, but have you ever heard of aquamation?

Cremation is the method of disposition of a dead body through burning it. Cremation is often considered an environmentally friendly alternative to traditional burial practices. But burning dead bodies to ash requires immense energy to fuel the fire and pumps out millions of tons of carbon dioxide annually. 

Another method called aquamation uses alkaline hydrolysis to dispose of human or animal remains instead of fire. The process is also known as biocremation, resomation, flameless cremation, and water cremation. Hailed as an eco-friendly alternative to cremation, this method uses a heated alkaline solution to break down the body, leaving behind only the skeleton.

During the process, the body is placed inside a pressurized vessel filled with a mixture of water and potassium hydroxide and heated to around 200 - 300°F (90 - 150°C). As the pressure in the container increases, the solution gently breaks organic matter over several hours instead of boiling. The process liquifies everything except for the bones, which are then dried in an oven and reduced to white dust, placed in an urn, and then given to relatives. Aquamation also leaves behind 32 percent more remains of the body compared to cremation.

According to Bio-Response Solutions, a U.S. company that specializes in aquamation, the process uses “90 percent less energy than flame cremation and does not emit any harmful greenhouse gases." 

The liquid left behind after the process is a sterile mix of organic compounds including salts and amino acids that can be used as a fertilizer or neutralized and safely released into waterways.

South African Anglican cleric Desmond Mpilo Tutu, who received the Nobel Prize for Peace for his role in the opposition to apartheid in South Africa in 1984, had chosen the aquamation method for his funeral according to Archbishop Tutu IP Trust and the Desmond and Leah Tutu Legacy Foundation, after his death on December 26, 2021.

Tutu IP Trust and the Desmond and Leah Tutu Legacy Foundation announced, “The Archbishop was very clear on his wishes for his funeral. “He wanted no ostentatiousness or lavish spending. He asked that the coffin be the cheapest available and that a bouquet of carnations from his family be the only flowers in the cathedral,” according to News24.

You can choose to be buried, cremated, or liquified once you die, but you can also be recomposed. Did you know that a U.S. company called Recompose turns you into soil after you die? Or if you would prefer something fancier, you can choose to be a diamond, with the Swiss company Algordanza’s 'diamond burial’.

**************

I've been seeing ads for water cremation on Facebook for the St. Louis area. I think you can pick where the liquid goes but I'm not sure about that.

6083 - Long joke Sunday

A young couple left the church and arrived at the hotel where they were spending the first night of their honeymoon. 

They opened the champagne and began undressing.

When the bridegroom removed his socks, his new wife asked, "What's wrong with your feet? Your toes look all mangled and weird.

"I had tolio as a child," he answered.

"You mean polio?" she asked.

"No, tolio. The disease only affected my toes."

When the groom took off his pants, his bride once again asked "What's wrong with your knees? They're all lumpy and deformed!"

"As a child, I also had kneasles," he explained. "You mean measles?" she asked.

"No, kneasles. It was a strange illness that only affected my knees."

The new bride had to be satisfied with this answer.

As the undressing continued, her husband at last removed his underwear.

"Don't tell me," she said.

"Let me guess... Smallcox!"

6082 - Saturday jokes

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.

And stupid. We should be scared shitless of stupid.

Speaking of stupid...

A customer called Walmart to complain about a full parking lot.

‘What do you want us to do, move the cars?’

My favorite radical leftist idea is that everyone should be able to eat and afford a roof over their heads.

Onlyfans Star Billie Beever says they shouldn't have to pay tax because their work feels like a 'public service'. 

(BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA)

From a 5 year old: There is no school the day after Thanksgiving so everyone can poop.

I trapped a couple of vegans in my basement. At least I think they're vegan. They keep shouting 'lettuce leaf!' 

My type of people are people who can use sarcasm to respond to my sarcasm instead of getting offended.

It's never too late to start exercising.

That's why I'm waiting until later.

Alien1: Did you catch the latest episode of "Earth"?

Alien2: I did. this season is CRAZY!

License plate...

EWW PPL

A man left work one Friday afternoon. But, being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire paycheck. 

When he finally appeared at home, Sunday night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade befitting his actions. 

Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to him, 

“How would you like it if you didn’t see me for two or three days?” 

To which he replied. “That would be fine with me.” 

Monday went by and he didn’t see his wife. 

Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results.

Come Thursday, the swelling went down just enough in his left eye that he could see her.

A lemon isn't naturally occurring and is a hybrid of crossbred bitter orange and citron. Which means life never gave us lemons, we invented them ourselves.

American Girl has released a doll with hearing loss.

Wait, the other ones can hear us?

I never thought I'd be the kind of person to wake up early and exercise... and I was right!

The back of a t-shirt on a 5K race participant...

50

Fat

Diabetic

Ahead of you

The bathroom is the anti-gas station. You go in full and come out empty.

A guy asked me what it was like to be a woman in the workplace and another guy answered for me.

Nailed it.

The correct term for gluten-free, sugarless, vegan brownies is "compost."

Nothing embarrasses psychics more than throwing them a surprise birthday party.

Doctor: Is there a chance you might be pregnant?

Her: If I am, I'll be giving birth to some batteries.

Scientists warn that Earth could run out of conspiracy theories by 2025 if they keep coming true at the current rate.

Just sitting here doing nothing because I have too many things to do.

Hold on, I'm trying to decide if I want to participate in today.

Husband to wife: A home-cooked meal! You must be in Facebook jail again.

If you're over 40 it's no longer called masturbation.

It's called a systems check.

I totally think Santa should publish the naughty list.

What a great way to meet people.

They laughed at my crayon drawing.

I laughed at their chalk outline.

Him: Women aren't supposed to swear!

Her: First of all, fuck you...

Fox News did to our parents what our parents were afraid video games would do to us.

The only thing easier to buy in America than a gun is a republican politician.

tRUMP sandwich - white bread; full of baloney; with Russian dressing; and a small pickle.

Mom’s For Liberty should rebrand as Klanned Karenhood.

Someone called Moms for Liberty "Assholes with Casseroles" and it's my new favorite.

I'm never sure if I actually have free time or if I'm just forgetting everything I have to do.

Equal pay for men on "Only Fans"!!!!!!!

Lightbulb Him: You're bringing friends on our date?

Lightbulb Her: We're Christmas lights. When one goes out, we all go out.

Pro tip: When baking for the holidays don’t Google cream pies. Google cream pie recipes.

My wife never complained until I got hearing aids.

Sleeping is nice because you're not actually dead and you're not awake so it's a win-win situation.

It's like being dead without the commitment, an open relationship with death.

Death with benefits.

Him: Remember coefficients?

Her: No.

Him: Me neither.

Nostalgebra

2 hyrogen buffalo + 1 oxygen buffalo = 1 water buffalo

I ate a kid's meal at McDonalds yesterday.

His mom was pissed.

Don't run with bagpipes.

You could put an aye out.

Or worse yet, get kilt.

Nutmeg said: Hey! Bob, how ya doing?!

Paprika replied: Vern! Long time no see!

This is known as seasons greetings.

I'm so relieved after getting my last electric bill today. 

It said final notice.

Street name: GOA way

I just found out where I'm building my next house.

6081 - Berta

Debra She Who Seeks did a meme post two days ago. One of the memes was about Berta the maid on Two and a Half Men. I think she was the best part of the show. How about some more Berta?

If you missed it in the comments,  I got to buy a new furnace and AC unit yesterday. Yeee Haaaa. It's getting installed today. I wonder if Berta could negotiate a lower price for me.