AdScam/The Horror!

More ad fuckery!!!

Further proof of how fucked up the ad biz is with the news that BDC (Big Dumb Client) Wavemaker has retained consumer packaged goods marketer Church & Dwight U.S. media account, following a competitive review. This continues an 18-year relationship for the agency, and billings will be about $210 million. The CEO of Church & Dwight tells us... “Through data-driven insights and innovative strategies, the Wavemaker team demonstrated that they are very good at navigating the complexities of the digital marketplace to drive demand for our products. We were particularly impressed with Wavemaker's holistic approach to media, commerce and content to strategically reach audiences at scale." Then why the fuck did you have to hold a review after an 18 year relationship? 

‘Cos I'm the boss... Right? 

Are you tired of losing yet?

In a securities filing posted yesterday, it was released that Der Trumpf’s wanky social media site, “Truth Social” has lost $73 million since its launch last year. The filing also details a number of risks related to Trump Media & Technology Group (TMTG) business and operations. It also has an entire section titled “Risks Related to our Chairman President Donald J. Trump,” citing his ongoing legal challenges, the many companies he owned that have filed for bankruptcy (like his Atlantic City casinos), and the many companies that licensed his name (like Trump Vodka and Trump Shuttle) which subsequently went out of business. The final nail in the coffin was this... “There can be no assurances that TMTG will not also fail.”  

I work for “Trump Coffin.” Til it goes bust.  

 

 

The court will come to order... A bit.

After the outrageous antics of justices Thomas, Alito and others, the Supreme Court has finally pledged to follow a broad code of conduct. We are assured that this will promote “integrity and impartiality” throughout the court. Just one little snag though... The code of conduct has absolutely no way to enforce those standards against justices who fall short and continue trousering “freebies” and TBE’s (Thick Brown Envelopes.)  

Indeed!!! 

Another reshuffle anyone?

Over at Britain's best ad site... MoreAboutAdvertising, my good mate, Stephen Foster, has a chortlingly good take on today’s news that Prime Minister, Richi Sunak, has finally fired bitchy anti-immigrant Home Secretary Suella Braverman, who just happens to be the daughter of Indian immigrants and is named after Sue Ellen in Dallas... (I kid you not.) He’s also brought ex Prime Minister, David Cameron, who was responsible for the Brexit fiasco, back into government as the foreign secretary. If you need it, just Further proof that Britain's politics are as fucked up as America’s are fucked up. 

A bit of advice.  (Click on it)

No Tesla's for King Twat’s Tots...

Apparently, uber-billionaire, Elon “King Twat” Musk, has evaded being served with child custody papers at least twelve times in the last few months. Singer, “Grimes” who has three kids by Musk, (Believe it or not, one of the poor little buggers is named X AE A-Xii, another is named Exa Dark Siderael, and the third is Techno Mechanicus) hired four people who, between Oct. 13 and Oct. 20, tried serving Musk at the X headquarters in San Francisco, the SpaceX launch site in Boca Chica, Texas, and his Tesla gigafactory in Austin. They also tried several addresses tied to Musk — including a local horse farm. King Twat should be well experienced in this, as he has eleven kids with three different mothers. What a wanker.  

Hey, weed aint cheap! 

 

T.G.I.K.M.F. is now T.G.I.K.M.S.

Cos, I forgot to do it yesterday!!! 

Enjoy. 

Sorrell’s Sinecure Slumps...

It would appear that “The Poisoned Dwarf’s” latest evil empire, S4 Capital had a particularly shitty third quarter. Results announced yesterday were well below expectations, prompting it to downgrade its full-year growth outlook yet again. Shares fell more than 17% in London Exchange trading on the news. His Gnomeship now says it will have an organic net revenue decline for the full year. No shit sherlock! In July S4 cut its full-year organic growth guidance to between 2% and 4% from the previously stated 6% to 10%. Not to worry, we are assured that cost-cutting measures will be taking place. Layoffs Ya Think?  

Will all employees assemble in the courtyard. 

Tesla doing a Trump?

Yesterday, analyst Michael Tyndall launched coverage of Tesla stock with a sell rating. His target for the stock price is $146, down 34% from recent levels. As he puts it...  “Tesla is more than a very expensive auto company; its ambition is to be an innovator, which underpins valuation, A charismatic CEO with a cultlike following feeds into the innovator narrative, but timing of delivery is far from certain.” In other words, the EV business isn’t worth what Tesla stock trades at today, and Tesla’s other businesses, including energy storage, self-driving cars, robots, and artificial-intelligence computing, all face regulatory hurdles that mean slower-than-expected growth in the future. Seems to me there’s a Touch of Trumpian Over-Valuation going on there.  

Der Trumpf's Tesla!

Linda loves the birds and bees.

Linda Yaccarino, mystery CEO of Elon “King Twat” Musk’s Twitter – X – Whatever, who had seemed to be missing in action for the last few weeks, resurfaced yesterday to praise Musk’s latest project, the “rebellious” AI chatbot Grok. Musk posted on X to share some of Grok's responses to users, this time the bot's creative answer to the question of how babies were made. The response included a reference to "a magical process called “fucking” and a "special hug called 'baby-making" Despite the somewhat inappropriate language, Yaccarino was enthusiastic about the bot's educational potential. "I wish I knew Grok during the Birds and the Bees talk with my kids!" Hey, wouldn’t you kiss the boss's arse if it paid $20 million a year? 

X marks the spot.  

Typical Trump Tacky Taste...

After sitting on the market for over a year, Ivana Trump’s Upper East Side townhouse still needs a buyer, and no one seems to want to touch it. Not surprising really when you look at the extremely tacky way it is decorated and furnished. Before she fell down the stairs and killed herself Ivana said, ‘The house is as Louis the 16th would have lived if he had money.” and that sums it up perfectly. It’s dripping in gold fixtures, leopard-print furniture, and photos of the Trump family on the walls. They even kept a copy of her book, Raising Trump, on the coffee table in the living room. Although, while it is absolutely hideous it is slightly better than her current dismally pathetic digs on a Trump golf course in an unmarked hole next to a tee. 

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