Happy Canada Day!

A Sombre Canada Day

Since the recent discovery of hundreds of unmarked graves at former indigenous residential schools, many communities across Canada have decided to forego, scale down or significantly modify their Canada Day celebrations this year. Given the immense grief and pain felt by indigenous communities and among increasing numbers of non-indigenous Canadians as well, I think this is a wise decision to show respect and solidarity with our First Nations at this time.

Most non-indigenous Canadians have, of course, heard of the shameful history of residential schools, historically used for about 100 years to take indigenous children from their parents and communities to be schooled in residential institutions run by church and state so that they would be assimilated into Canadian society. But most Canadians were (and lots remain) in deep, deep denial about what that process really entailed for our First Nations and what it really meant about Canada and ourselves. That denial is finally starting to crack now among a larger segment of Canadians and a wave of appalled shame is replacing it.

By way of illustrating this denial, the first sentence in the preceding paragraph is the typical, carefully worded, relatively value-neutral way in which this topic is often presented in Canadian discussions. Here's a more graphically truthful version:

Most non-indigenous Canadians of settlor and other immigrant heritage have, of course, heard of the shameful racist and colonial history of residential schools prisons and concentration camps, historically used for about 100 years throughout much of the first century of our modern Canadian state since 1867 to take steal and kidnap using the services of the RCMP indigenous children from their parents and communities without any legal rights, process or recourse to be schooled forcibly stripped of their family ties, culture, language and identities run by church and state so that they would be assimilated into Canadian society subjected to years of physical, mental, emotional, spiritual and sexual abuse and then released into the wider unwelcoming, racist society.

We are at the start of what I'm sure will be an extremely lengthy Truth and Reconciliation Process which must address, in addition to residential schools, many other historical and current abuses and issues. It will be painful for all concerned, but must be done. Just as (to mention only a few examples) Germany must acknowledge, deal with and remedy to every extent possible its Nazi past and the Jewish Holocaust, the USA its long history of slavery and attempted extermination of its indigenous peoples, South Africa its oppressive apartheid past (modelled on Canada's original reservation system for First Nations, incidentally) and Australia/New Zealand their similar issues with their indigenous population.

Statues, other public art like murals, names of schools, buildings and streets honouring the creators of the residential school system are all starting to be taken down and changed so that our national shame will no longer have inappropriate "pride of place" in our communities. These are cosmetic changes only, of course. The real historical anachronism which must change in order to create a better Canada is our own ingrained racism, along with all its accompanying evils.

Happy Canada Day!

Oh, is it our National Day again?

Time to wave the flag!

The question of Canadian identity has long seemed

to be somewhat of an enigma --

But no! We Canadians know exactly who we are!

Canadians always think that Americans ask

the stupidest questions about Canada, like this one --

But yes, yes, that is exactly how we elect our leaders.

So who's stupid now?

Americans know what's what.

Oh yes, our beautiful universal health care system,

free via our taxes to all Canadians!

But we still save costs wherever possible,

like in Quebec during maple syrup season --

However, most Canuck babies are born in hospitals.

But sometimes Canadians short-circuit the procreative process

by using one of these Canuck Condoms instead.

Hmm, what else is there about Canada?

Oh yes, let's not forget winter.

And speaking of Timmy's --

Don't underestimate Timmy's importance to us.

Apart from the usual coffee-related crime sprees, however,

most Canadians are polite and law abiding.

And sometimes we're leaders in both law and religion!

Of course, Her Royal Highness the cat
wishes everyone a happy Canada Day too!

Oh, thought I couldn't work superheroes into this post?

Well, think again!

Oh c'mon! Doesn't everyone secretly want to be Canadian?

Happy Canada 150 Sesquicentennial!

Man, that's a mouthful, isn't it? Today we mark the 150th anniversary of Confederation, the 1867 creation of the modern Canadian state. And in true Canadian fashion, not everyone is thrilled about it.

Many people in Quebec couldn't care less. July 1st is just "moving day" there, when everyone's lease expires and they get a chance to switch apartments.

And Canada's Indigenous people aren't in a particularly celebratory mood either, given that they were here for millennia beforehand, have been treated badly ever since European contact and particularly so since Confederation.

But still, some of us want to party. And some of us *cough, cough* are old enough to remember Canada's 100th anniversary in 1967. We had a remarkably similar maple leaf logo for that party too.

Anyway, I was ten years old in 1967 and Centennial Year was a really big deal at our school. We had to sing Bobby Gimby's "Ca-na-da" song constantly. We had to colour endless copies of the Centennial logo. And they forced us to memorize all the provincial/territorial flags and official flowers! You name me one Canadian kid these days that knows that info -- go on, just one! Can't do it, can you.



Gawd, are your ears bleeding now? Sorry.

And, like every school, we had a Centennial Pageant celebrating our multicultural heritage. Of course, in those days, that basically just meant French, English, Irish, Scottish, Chinese and Ukrainian, at least on the prairies where we lived. I don't remember Indigenous heritage even being mentioned in that school pageant. Wow, eh? Those were insensitive days.

I played the role of CANADA in the pageant. That's me with the flag crown, white choir gown and red-lettered "Canada" sash at the back by the map, waiting to come forward to the front of the stage after the Ukrainians were finished dancing. I assume I had to recite some patriotic little speech or something but quite frankly, I don't remember now. Hey, it was 50 years ago, cut me some slack! All I remember are those friggin flags and flowers.

So now, Happy Canada 150 Sesquicentennial, my Canuckian siblings! Today My Rare One and I are going downtown to Churchill Square to take in some festivities and go to the Art Gallery of Alberta, all of which are free today. We're not above saving a few bucks, you know. Later, if we can stay awake until 11:00 pm, we'll watch the fireworks in the river valley from our friends' balcony.

I basically focused on the past in this post, didn't I, rather than on the present or the future. That's because I know damn well that I won't be here for the Canada 200 Bicentennial in 2067 and it kinda makes me sad. These festivities are making me feel my age.

But hey -- *perking up* -- I might possibly make it to the Canada 175 Dodransbicentennial in 2042 if I live to be 85! Keep a happy thought for me, everyone!

Happy Canada Day!

PLEASE DON'T BELIEVE every stereotype you hear about Canada. We only wear tuques in the WINTER, not all year long, and we only eat back bacon at BREAKFAST, not at every meal. Beer is, however, frequently consumed. That one's true.

Contrary to popular belief, we do not end EVERY sentence with "eh," eh?

The RCMP are not MANLIER than any other men on the face of the earth.

And they're not MOOSELIER either.

Canadians are not POLITE all the time. We can be RUDE BASTARDS too.

We frequently IGNORE our neighbours.

We would MUCH rather spend our winters in a tropical paradise than in the SNOW.

And hockey is NOT CENTRAL to our lives at all.

Today I'm sending a SPECIAL Canada Day greeting to that HONORARY CANADERIAN deep in the heart of Texas, Jackiesue Denney of Yellowdog Granny, from whose blog I swiped many of these LOLs over the past year. Happy July 1st, YDG!

P.S. to Yesterday's Post

So, okay, those of you who POINTED IT OUT, we must admit that there IS ONE Canadian activity in which politeness plays NO role whatsoever . . . .

And just one more thing while I'm here. What do Canadians love almost as much as hockey? That's right. BEER! So here's a fitting tribute to both Canadian patriotism and beer -- "The Beer Fridge." Enjoy!

Happy Canada Day!

Well, it's time again to celebrate the wonder and the glory that is Canada! You know, there's a persistent stereotype that Canadians are extremely polite, perhaps even excessively polite.

I don't know where people get that idea.

In actual fact, we Canadians can get all worked up just like anyone else.

And we don't apologize more than other people.

We have our disputes and by gawd, we don't back down.

So please do not believe that false stereotype about our legendary politeness. Sorry if anyone has been misled by it. Thank you for your attention to this post.

Oh, I don't think that's true. Is it?