A friendly reminder
November 22, 2023
11 Comments | 
circus of life | Tagged: Thanksgiving | 
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Posted by bluebird of bitterness
Happy birthday, Joaquín
November 22, 2023In honor of the birthday of Spanish composer Joaquín Rodrigo (1901-1999), here is the final movement of Fantasía para un gentilhombre in an arrangement for solo guitar.
(Thanks to Sunnyside for this one.)
Leave a Comment » | comfort & joy, musical offerings | Tagged: Joaquín Rodrigo | Permalink
Posted by bluebird of bitterness
Advertisements from long, long ago — celebrity edition
November 21, 2023
14 Comments | simple pleasures | Tagged: memory lane, vintage ads | Permalink
Posted by bluebird of bitterness
Do you hear the people gag?
November 21, 2023Jean Valjean, Cosette, Marius, and Epipen sing about life with food allergies.
VALJEAN
One grain more
A dash of millet flour might be the key
This never-ending road to gluten free
This horrifying food I eat
Will never taste the same as wheat
One grain more…
COSETTE
A quarter cup of cornflake crumbs
To meet my carbohydrate quota
VALJEAN
One grain more
MARIUS & COSETTE
A teaspoon of some xanthan gum
And still it tastes like…baking soda
EPIPEN
One more dairy substitute
MARIUS & COSETTE
Will I ever eat again?
EPIPEN
Drinking oat milk from a carton
MARIUS & COSETTE
What I’d give for pizza pie
EPIPEN
Now I spend my days confused
MARIUS & COSETTE
Or a slice of beef on rye…
EPIPEN
Wond’ring how you milk an oat
VALJEAN
It’s so good to see you, Quinoa!
You’re the protein source I chose
Still, you look as if I’ve seen ya
Coming out of someone’s nose
MARIUS & COSETTE
Flax instead of eggs
Try to make it whip
Now what do we use
Instead of chocolate chips?
Carob doesn’t work
Carob is a trap
Anyone who’s had it
Knows it tastes like crap!
VALJEAN & EPIPEN
When the hell is this stuff dated?
MARIUS & COSETTE
Burned and bloated day and night
VALJEAN & EPIPEN
Why’s it smell like something died?
COSETTE
What on earth is “lecithin”?
MARIUS
Love, I fin’ly defecated!
EPIPEN
This does not feel like a bun…
ALL
Do you hear the people sneeze
And cough and wheeze
From allergies?
VALJEAN
One grain more!
MARIUS
So I added wheat — I’m sorry
We still had some left in stock
Nothing says “it’s time to party”
Like anaphylactic shock
So I guess this must be Quinoa
It’s not so gross, I suppose
Still it looks as if I’ve seen ya…
COSETTE
Will I ever eat again?
What if there’s a trace of tree nuts?
Someone get my Epi-pen
I’m not supposed to breathe in peanuts!
EPIPEN
Have you ever milked an oat?
Guess it’s better than a goat
Try a little nog
Smoother than a silk
Even though it’s made
Of neither eggs nor milk!
Have another roll
Harder than a rock
Better hold your breath,
Because it tastes like-
VALJEAN & MARIUS
Tomorrow we will bitch and moan
Tomorrow we’ll need cortisone
ALL
Tomorrow we’ll discover foods
That even vegans have forsworn!
Wish me luck
Mother(BLEEEEEEEEEP)
One grain more…
10 Comments | simple pleasures | Tagged: Les Miserables, One Grain More | Permalink
Posted by bluebird of bitterness
The pun also rises
November 20, 2023A musician on a cruise ship had trouble keeping time with the rest of the orchestra. Finally the conductor said, “Listen, buster — either you learn to keep time or I’m gonna throw you overboard. It’s up to you. Sync or swim.”
❧ ❧ ❧
A single mother with three small children had to juggle several part-time jobs while attending college to get her degree. She managed to survive with the help of an espresso machine given to her by a sympathetic friend. After four years of heroic effort, she graduated summa cum latte.
❧ ❧ ❧
A teddy bear got a job at a construction site. He took a lunch break, and when he returned, he found that his pick had been stolen. The bear reported the theft to the foreman, who said, “Oh, sorry, I forgot to warn you — today’s the day the teddy bears have their pick nicked.”
❧ ❧ ❧
Several attendees at a chess masters convention were loitering in the hotel lobby, bragging about their past victories. The hotel manager came over and ordered them to disperse. When they wanted to know why, he informed them that the hotel rules strictly prohibited chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.
11 Comments | circus of life | Tagged: chuckles, words at play | Permalink
Posted by bluebird of bitterness
Monday chuckles
November 20, 2023
6 Comments | circus of life | Tagged: Charlie Berens, Thanksgiving | Permalink
Posted by bluebird of bitterness
Sunday funnies
November 19, 2023
9 Comments | circus of life | Tagged: Sunday funnies | Permalink
Posted by bluebird of bitterness
Sunday musical offering
November 19, 2023
3 Comments | comfort & joy, musical offerings | Tagged: Ludwig Van Beethoven, New Apostolic Church of Southern Africa | Permalink
Posted by bluebird of bitterness
Caturday chuckles
November 18, 2023
18 Comments | animal crackers | Tagged: cats | Permalink
Posted by bluebird of bitterness
Happy Caturday
November 18, 2023
10 Comments | animal crackers | Tagged: cats, commercials, Furkids | Permalink
Posted by bluebird of bitterness
bluebird of bitterness 
