HAPPY TALK -- "THE TALK" -- "A TALK" -- CHILDREN

"HAPPY TALK" -- I have fond memories from long ago of visiting college friends for a memorable experience at the St. Louis Municipal Opera where we enjoyed "South Pacific" featuring Juanita Hall who created the Broadway role of Bloody Mary in one of my favorite musicals.  

She did portray Bloody Mary in the movie version but her voice was dubbed, reportedly due to concern she might no longer be able to reach some of the high notes.   This YouTube video has united recordings of her actual voice with the movie video excerpt.

As has often been the case characters nationality may have no relation to the role portrayed.  So it is that Juanita Hall is not Polynesian, but is bi-racial with an African-American father and Irish-American mother.

Another South Pacific song, "You've Got to be Carefully Taught", sung years later by Mandy Patinkin adding "The Children Will Listen Medley" is of special significance today, emotionally expressing sentiments we all take to heart if we truly care about children.   

Talk, talk, talk we’re hearing lots of talk -- brings me to thinking about “talks”….. how families raising their young children help them learn to cope with societal differences that might result in them experiencing being discriminated against.    

I recently listened to a white-skin grandmother whose heritage is equally divided between two often discriminated against groups, but no one could tell by her skin color.   Her husband Caucasian.    She was concerned, wondering if their adopted son from one of those groups had “a talk” with his son as they had to have years ago with him when he was young?  

Her grandson’s father’s skin tones are definitely the golden-brown shade of his South American heritage.   Years ago, as a young man he experienced being queried more than once, assumed by some to speak a language other than English and being quizzed by authorities questioning his legal status.    He is at risk of the same today given the climate cultivated by some occupying leadership positions in our nation.  Their attitudes and some actions have served to deliberately unleash some base discriminatory qualities in others.

His son has lighter skin color, but nevertheless enough tone that could result in his being subjected to being confronted similarly, or even worse in these highly sensitive times.  This has the grandmother understandably concerned.  

Those of us who are white live privileged lives though we may well have taken our status for granted.   Do we have to have such “a talk” with our children?   Those of us with white skin don’t have to receive or give a color talk in my experience, so I can only imagine what that might be like. 

I recall talking with a black colleague about this subject years ago.  He related his experiences of being confronted in numerous instances, including when he was just exercise running in areas surrounding his modestly affluent residential community.  

Blacks often describe “the talk” as the terminology for what is mandatory for them, living in our shared world of physical body differences (color and even other differing characteristics).  Intolerance prevails in those lacking certain moral values. 

Most of us have never needed to receive “the talk”, but perhaps growing up we’ve received “a talk” or found it necessary as adults to deliver one of our own on issues other than skin color.    What comes to my mind was when my mother talked with me about some of the differences in people.   

Mother said that some people did discriminate against certain others, as she explained what little sense that often made.  Examples of some who could be treated poorly she cited were people with a darker skin than ours, like some of my brother’s high school classmates though there were few of them then, or those with religious differences like our dentist because he was Jewish (who I revere to this day for his caring, sensitivity and kindness). 
  
In those pre and WWII days people whose appearance was different in other ways -- had a foreign accent or spoke a language other than English might not be readily accepted.  Emotions could run high in the name of national security and how best to ensure our safety.

More prevalent today, arousing the anxiety of some, are those who wear headdress,  dress differently otherwise, though we've had the latter for generations with our Amish and other sect populations.  But remember how freaked out so many people were with boys allowing their hair to grow long (to which my husband also objected), or some of the clothing styles?

Mother noted within Christianity even Catholics were suspect by some Protestants – that there were people professing to be Christians claiming they cared for all people, but in fact, many practitioners seemed not to be ecumenical.   This seems strange since most religious groups say they embrace loving one another as a basic premise in their belief system.   

A religious spirituality significantly influenced my Mother’s life from which she quietly drew strength – beliefs she considered private -- best demonstrated by how she lived and treated other people personally and in business, rather than proselytizing.   She cautioned about those that tend to impose their beliefs on others – that their motivations might wisely be questioned in religion and otherwise.  She noted that often those who feel compelled to profess the loudest about their religiosity, or busily toot their own horn about their accomplishments and how right they are above all others, may be the least likely to live as they say others should.      

She also cautioned I should just disregard any name-calling to which I could be subjected.  This might occur because of my red hair – that agitators would likely just be trying to tease, annoy or anger me -- that my best response was to not give them that satisfaction.  She spoke of humor as a powerful defense in some situations.  

“The talk” that most closely resembles what the grandmother speaks of, and so many parents with children simply having darker than white skin colors are compelled to have with their young loved ones, can make the difference between life and death. 

“A talk” is different in the following example, but similar to “the talk” in some respects.  Mother told me she had cautioned my brother that because he had red hair, he might stand out to others and needed to be aware of that fact. 

For example, she was discussing how people get caught up with friends in group activities, sometimes in situations in which they might not even want to participate.   Even if he was just standing around, he should be aware that observers likely might remember seeing the more conspicuous and only tall red-haired guy though they might not be as apt to describe the others. 

Of course, merely telling me this story served as being “a talk” for this red-haired gal encountering any future situations.  Fortunately the red head issue never progressed for my brother and I beyond the teasing level.       

Did you ever receive “a talk”, or any of the more serious potentially life-preserving type “talks” as dark-skinned people and/or this grandmother is concerned about? 

Or, maybe you’ve given such “a talk”?  

NATION'S VALUES BETRAYED

This American citizen considers our nation’s values have been betrayed once again by an individual, our U.S. President, who is unable to acknowledge truth and insultingly expects others to believe his lies -- despite the fact that he assumed his governing office with no humility, even though the popular majority did not vote for or support him (of course, he never likes to be reminded of such facts). 

Our leader continues to market divisiveness, lies pathologically, frequently contradicts himself, pettily resorts to juvenile name-calling, expects everyone to always like/respect/agree with him, while being oblivious to the fact such behavior as his does not result in the admiration he so desperately demands.    

That leader continues making knee-jerk decisions defying common sense frequently.  He does so without benefit of consultation with those more knowledgeable -- does so in a manner that doesn’t allow appropriate post planning -- as with the recent treatment of infants and children taken from their parents who were seeking asylum -- to name just a few of his dangerous behaviors. 

This leader and his supporters (some likely well-intentioned) will eventually learn they are being complicit in his effort to alter our form of government – by misusing our constitution to undermine our democracy and reduce our freedoms.   That this leader assumed office in the first place has occurred because of an electoral college voting system (long overdue for reassessment).  Some supporters acquired have been misled and unwittingly influenced partially through their very own social media activity. 

This social media has been subjected to manipulative machinations by a hostile foreign nation led by an autocrat committed to eliminating world democracies by any means possible.  Our leader, reprehensibly, courts this and other dictators he repeatedly praises and has intimated aspiring to emulate.    So, it’s not surprising he seeks to assume similar controls in our country over all branches of our government, continues efforts to undermine and destroy our free press if they don’t parrot his spiel – in his efforts to nullify our constitution’s checks and balances to prevent such a result.  

Some of our nation’s most immoral and despicable traits selected groups demonstrate continue to be exploited by those in the highest leadership positions for political and maybe even personal gain.   One of the most recent evidences of just how dangerous this is, occurs when we consider -- how could anyone even entertain the thought of separating infants and children from their parents?   Parents who should have a legal right to seek safety and asylum in a country other than their own.  Then, this leader deliberately actually issues orders for others to separate them without, at least, assuring reunification plans were in place.   

Might we wonder if those receiving such immoral directions should refuse to follow them?   Might we wonder what more is this leadership capable of doing to each of us if we are not in his favor?

My mind reels with memories of the parallels of just such a similar activity separating children from parents in other countries justified at the time citing other immoral reasons when I was a mere child myself during WWII.   When I became an adult recalling those years I wondered where had been the good people in those countries to resist such despicable actions – refuse to enforce them?  

Similarities were depicted in a haunting mother/children scene in the movie, “Sophie’s Choice” starring Meryl Streep in too horrific a video to post here – and yet, the babes screaming, mother in shock, has now happened in my country! 

Are those who put the leader(s) in power who ordered this travesty of human decency complicit --- fellow citizens -- acted in my and your name – including other of our citizens who followed those immoral orders? 

When does morality, including that of those pointedly pronouncing their religious convictions but who say or do nothing, demand a stand be taken? 

   We are reminded of that famous quote:

        “The only thing necessary for evil to succeed is for good men to do nothing.”

We also might wonder, based on past behaviors, what plans our leader may have for those of us who see through his schemes – maybe his using for his own gains our military establishment for which he claims to have such a patriotic affinity? 

Or maybe he’s just enamored or obsessed with putting on big military parades, thinking somehow doing so aggrandizes his power and serves as testimony to his virility? 

Has he been ingratiating himself with our veterans, armed services and their families in a systematic effort to obtain for himself, above all else, unquestioning alliance and allegiance as he is known to have attempted to demand from others?  For what purpose? 

Meanwhile, we must demand these children be reunited with their parents!

Morally and Ethically Impaired

I propose we establish a categorical term for individuals evidencing morally and ethically impaired behavior. We can refer to them by the acronym “MEI,” pronounced “me,” that ironically reflects their primary orientation.

MEIs have not been formally identified as a subculture in our nation, but they have increasingly come to the forefront. Recently, their actions have so blatantly adversely affected our financial world that I think we need to acknowledge and formally recognize this group’s existence, so we can provide the attention they deserve.

MEIs tend to secretiveness, deceit and exploitation of other human beings so can be difficult to expose. Their morals and ethics are self-oriented and directed toward only themselves, plus a selected few others with whom they are emotionally entangled or whose favor they curry. MEIs really do not care what happens to the rest of us, rather like sociopaths.

In recent years, unlike any other era in our lifetime, circumstances are forcing these MEIs into the spotlight of public scrutiny. We need to take note of who they are and aggressively seek to identify others like them. I want them held accountable publicly and professionally. Furthermore, I want some restitution from their undeserved financial gains as individuals, companies and financial institutions.

We need to initiate some behavioral changes in these MEIs. I’d like to believe this group is beginning to have trouble thriving during these difficult times. Perhaps they’re having serious adjustment problems since we are more frequently condemning their MEI behaviors. I think it’s increasingly obvious that if we do not intervene with these individuals our own lives will continue to be seriously disrupted as will our nation’s and the world’s economy.

I’ve pondered whether a MEI education process could succeed and just how to undertake such a therapeutic intervention. I’ve wondered if MEIs would respond to a story such as The Nation of Moresville, a morality tale I thought of writing. The story would start like this. Once upon a time there was a nation populated by people who constantly wanted more – more food, more possessions and more money. Some of their number were willing to acquire more in any way possible without regard for moral and ethical considerations. Well, I think we all could easily write how that story unfolds.

I would want MEIs to know that through the years not everyone became obsessed with those pursuits, though admit clearly some of us have. I would strongly emphasize that we’re all finally reaping the consequences of these behaviors in one way or another regardless of whether or not we were irrationally and excessively materialistic. I would want them to reflect on their own behaviors.

Also, I would want to provide MEIs graphic specific examples stressing that for some the current financial crisis results are severe as the unemployed ranks grow, people lose their homes, and young people see their dreams of college evaporate. Visiting homes where refrigerators are bare and many other necessities of life are absent from the lives of young and old might register with some MEIs. I would like to believe this exposure might have some positive benefits.

Such true life situations have been on TV and in the news, but despite this exposure, it seems many of these fellow countrypersons are deaf, dumb and blind to the economic state of our country and even the world. These are the MEIs, some of whom are literally giving us all the finger while simultaneously pleading for us to save their companies, then gleefully accepting our tax monies while skimming huge bites for bonuses.

I’m sorely tempted to write for the MEIs about how morality, ethics and greed have intertwined to threaten the financial stability of not just our nation but the world, but I doubt they would read it. If only I could force each of them to write on that topic. Wiser heads and better writers than I are busily exploring these issues with powerful eloquent words that pinpoint the issues. At best, anything I might say would simply echo what so many others are expressing. Yet, I cannot resist making note of my anger, frustration and sadness that so many individuals have betrayed basic human values.

There are only so many of others reactionary accounts I can make time to read, much less write about. I derive little pleasure in reading the same basic complaints everywhere as they become depressingly enraging, but I believe it’s important that we each state our objections. Our written voices must be an ongoing ripple that contributes to a tidal wave creating a tsunami that allows our views to be known. Hopefully, many ears and eyes in a position to take corrective actions will receive our messages and rectify the situation.

Our Congressional Representatives and Senators and other key government administration figures need to be ongoing recipients of our views. We must continue pressuring and demanding – accountability, Accountability, ACCOUNTABILITY!

Just when I think the most gross individual exploitations have been exposed, another story emerges. I greet each new week with great apprehension, wondering what next and how many more MEIs will surface?

I think of the Savings and Loan Crisis many years ago, then there was Enron and the MEIs there. Years later, closer to home I recall more MEIs and the monies stolen from California via the electrical grids – how little our government did to correct that inequity. The words still ring in my ears from one of the morally bankrupt electrical grid workers whose company (probably his own wallet, too) financially benefited from out of control destructive forest fires. He was recorded gleefully shouting “Burn, baby, burn,” though these fires endangered lives in addition to power lines. I guess you know where I hope he will spend any afterlife if he believes in such, or maybe he could have a taste of hardship here and now. Perhaps some MEIs from all of those groups and the current individuals surfacing need to share a few life difficulties with him.

Meanwhile, I’m not convinced our government is loaning my tax money to some of these MEIs at a rate designed to maximize the U.S. Treasury’s return over that of those doing the borrowing. I want some accountability on that issue, too.