when morning comes

 by Rain Trueax

For the month of March, with no plan to do so, I watched absolutely no television, movies, nor listened to any radio talk shows. It started because of my bout of nightshade intolerance, but it went beyond that as I could not stand the idea of watching the television screen. After a week or so, I began to consider what television had been doing to my daily life. What I learned is it was filling in time. Although I had already reduced (not none until March began) watching political news, I still had cable for HGTV, documentaries, and a Hallmark movie once or twice a week. We also had Curiosity Stream for nature and historic films, but they seemed too simplified and more aimed at kids than adults. Pretty and all but nothing much to learn.

As I recovered from being sick, things changed for what I wanted my days to look like. I cut back on the Internet-- for a while none, and then very little, but gradually found a reasonable amount of time to check on friends at Facebook, and of course, read newspapers and online magazines with news stories. Still, it was nothing like it had been.

The cable, political news that I had been watching had had some events covered, but a lot of it had been by pundits to tell me what I should think about what I'd seen. If I had been a right winger, I'd have been watching shows like Newsmax or if I was a left winger, it'd be MSNBC. Neither one was going to give both sides of anything. That's not what their audience expected from their pundits.

So, what did I replace that time with-- what am I still replacing it with? Well, watching the clouds in the sky as they changed outside my bedroom window. I got some info on the names of cloud types (cumulus, cirrus, stratus, and nimbus). The problem quickly became that clouds mixed together and finding pure cloud shapes wasn't happening often. Clouds have many varieties. Maybe just enjoying them was the ticket.

I enjoyed watching the trees move with the wind, the birds fly past the window, and the mountain about three miles or so away. In some ways, it was all nothing. In other ways, it was my real world.

Reading aloud continued, but we left behind the non-fiction to try a book I'd never read, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams. I didn't expect to like it but got into these characters. We ended up buying more books in the series of five. Currently, we are working on the fourth in the series-- with the third waiting on the dresser. They weren't in order but the fourth didn't need to be. I do not plan to read the fifth given reviews I'd read of it. Ranch Boss has been doing all the aloud reading, which has been enjoyable for us both as the dialogue in those books is fun. 

The three cats got used to the idea that I was not in the living room but rather our bedroom. They adjusted to that and I enjoyed watching them as they worked out their own relationships-- not always in good moods.

March also got me my second Moderna and finally I am, at two weeks after that, which theoretically means fully protected, only the more you read, the more you know it doesn't always work that way. Still, I am glad I did it and hope that those who can will do so. What we need to know about viruses is a long way off, I suspect.

From not watching television, I got used to not trying to think and just be. I didn't need to fill the space as just being was satisfying. I thought of many things for issues politically, some I might share here someday, but for now, this is it. 

My own conclusion is that television may not be doing our brains or emotions a favor. Like so many things, everyone needs to evaluate that for themselves.

These photos are all from April 2nd as the sun rose with clouds providing a show.

Silver lining clouds as inspiration for painting

  Thank you grandson Kevin Oliver for sharing your interesting photograph.

"Every cloud has a silver lining' is a saying of hopefulness symbolizing that life's dark clouds will pass. I have always fantasized that the expression "Silver lining" referred to clouds as being clothing to cover the landscape with a silver fabric lining. My imagination could picture clouds blown out into silken threads as they continue to be spun to cover the sky. Fantasizing clouds as recognizable things like dragons or fish is a pastime I have enjoyed since childhood.

My eyes are always surveying the sky for interesting clouds. When I see some that have striking qualities, I try to capture the ephemeral clouds with my I phone.

Pearlessence of sea shells

Freckled flight

Golden cauliflower

Grosgrain ribbons

Petticoat mist

Al these photographs are finished pieces which I do not plan to copy in a painting. For now I acknowledge them as a way to familiarize myself with them. Even think about how I would paint clouds like them so when I am in the landscape and I see a passing formation, I remember how I could paint similar clouds. I will already have fanciful titles to inspire me as well.

Platoon of Casper ghosts

 

on getting old

by Rain Trueax

After last week on changes, I thought discussing aging would be good. I don't spend a lot of time being introspective. I did more of that in younger years. Still, it's good to stop and think where I am in life. The blog is a good place to ponder that.

Old age is about change. Obviously, changes happen throughout life but more in youth and old age. Even what some consider to be old actually isn't that big a deal for us all. My sixties were more like my fifties or forties. 

Now, midway into my seventies, I see more differences in appearance and physical abilities. Some want to deny they are old-- I'm a child inside, they argue. Words have meaning or need to. If we deny old has meaning, then does young?

Not all of the changes in old age necessarily come from aging, of course. Diseases can impact our bodies. Weight gain, which I mainly began to experience in my late 60s, can be more of an impact than years. When I was younger, if I gained weight, never as much as now, it spread evenly over me.

Now I have a belly and while i know it's unhealthy, more so than just being fat, it's where it went-- thank you lack of exercise, eating what I shouldn't, and of course, hormones. One thing about aging is-- you can cheat with less consequences when you are young than you can once you get old...

When we are children, changes come all the time. Those hormones kick in and the changes became massive. For most of us, it establishes us as as a gender more than childhood even. When I see my grandchildren, who are mostly still in puberty with one out the other side barely and the youngest just getting into it, they change all the time. Deeper voices, bodies shifting into what they will be as adults. It's an exciting time.

On the other hand, when in old age, there are also changes that are a factor of parts wearing out but also hormones. There is more pain in joints as most of us will get arthritis to one level or another. It takes more to get in shape if we get out of it. Looks change with thinner skin and sags where it never had. This makes us look different than our middle years. Little by little, men and women resemble each other more than in those mid-years. Little old ladies and little old men acquire more similar bodies-- for those who get old enough.


Thinking about death is necessary with our elder years. To be responsible, we should prepare for our inabilities and especially for our demise. What do we want done with this body we have occupied for so many years but eventually will not be able to continue to use? I am choosing cremation but not sure where I want the ashes put.

We will have more friends who die and the older we get, the more that will be true. We don't have to be depressed about it but it's obvious at 75 that there are less years ahead than behind-- and those years will be ones of deterioration and loss. For anyone who lives into deep old age, the body begins to shut down. Disease takes many of us ahead of that.

For those of us who have inherited physical problems, those can worsen with old age. My familial tremors have become more of a disability in my 70s than they had been although they've long been with me. i knew to expect that as I'd seen it in the family. Reality but we don't have to be thrilled by it.

Old age and what it brings with it is a reality. Accept reality and live it fully-- where it is, that's what I consider to be fully living. I don't tend to think back over what was unless I have to. I know I had better years than others but why dwell on either. Be where you are is my philosophy; and although it's not particularly joyful to realize I actually look old lol, it's reality and where I am. Everybody gets there if they live long enough. I know some think they fool it by plastic surgery. I think they just look plastic especially if they take it too far. We have to release what was to fully be who we are and where we are.

For those of you, who are younger, this will be a reality but not for you now. My advice, from where I sit, is do what I did, when I was younger, figure out what things you want to do, what you are still capable of doing, and do them. If that means changes, calculate the cost. 

The book I recommended in the last blog is a good one for mid years-- In the Meantime. It moves you toward living where you want to be, not putting up with what isn't giving you that life. Change isn't always a bad thing. It is always a reality.

At my age, especially as a writer, but as an old woman, I do a lot of observing of life. The photos here are from our Tucson  home. I believe the simple and small things are often the best.

the skies

by Rain Trueax

 Great Fountain Geyser reaching to the clouds.. or trying.

From the waters, the skies seemed logically to be next. Yellowstone is high country and that often makes for spectacular skies. This time, we were  fortunate to be there at a time when thunderheads built up several afternoons. Off and on, we'd hear the crack of thunder and some rain would fall. Awesome time in the geyser basin and the Lamar.

 

In the high country, the light is ever changing and presents constantly shifting opportunities to get that one photo that speaks beyond the images to the energy. 

There are many things that draw people to Yellowstone, but the light is one that shouldn't be discounted as to why it feels so magical when there. That light draws photographers, painters, writers, and millions of people to this super volcano that someday may erupt and change the whole United States for centuries to come. I hope it never happens as knowing Yellowstone is there is one of those things that brings joy to those who have been there or shared its beauty with others. It's there even when we can't be...