LIFE'S VARIETIES -- OCTOPUSES -- FRIEND'S QUIETUS

Life isn’t much different for me right now than it would usually be this time of year when I would typically be staying indoors during the day due to the heat.  Temperatures have suddenly moved into the three-digit Fahrenheit numbers from this summer’s unusually less-warm July days.  Now, humidity is very low with winds whipping around to combine with these high temperatures creating a climate of high fire danger.

So, as I write this, three fires rage in our Southern California surrounding area with at least one having zero containment, requiring some families to vacate their homes with only one such structure reported lost so far.   Thousands of acres are burning with the possibility arson may be a cause in some situations.  How firefighters weighted down with protective clothing and equipment manage to combat these flames in such threatening conditions boggles my mind.  I’m thankful to not be in danger where I live.

Those residents needing to seek safety and shelter due to fire must also contend with the dangers associated with contracting Covid-19.   This virus complicates life for even unthreatened-by-fire ordinary people, especially those without air conditioning who need to seek cooling centers, a few of which have opened.   People seeking safety from the fires or respite from the heat, or both, are required to wear masks, observe social distancing which limits the number of people facilities can accommodate as well as the activities with which people can engage while there.    

This extremely contagious virus continues to spread excessively with a segment of the population refusing to follow recommended safety precautions.   I continue to find it disappointingly incredible that some of my fellow Americans care so little about their own well-being and not at all for that of others despite the obvious potential life and death health issues.

Life for humans and all of Earth’s other creatures continues to be fascinating to me.   I resumed participation in a book club with which I’d been involved for a few years.  Members have changed considerably since my last presence as death has taken its toll on these primarily seniors, but new readers have joined the group.  This was our first virtual meeting as a few gathered in a local retirement community where they lived, with the rest of us Zooming in from our residences.   

The book we discussed was a unique one which I thoroughly enjoyed reading:   Award winning Soul of an Octopus by Sy Montgomery.    The wonder of consciousness is explored with exceptional writing moving this story along with fascinating facts I had not known.  The author’s educated observations were colored with emotional elements I had never imagined could occur between an octopus and human beings.   Descriptions of interactions with several octopuses – yes, that’s the plural not octopi – clearly evidence they each had distinct personalities.  I could never have imagined these short-lived sea creatures could be so interesting. 

I have since pondered the lives of all creatures, including those many varieties in our oceans.  I consider what is known of dolphins, whales, sharks, fish, along with lesser-known-to-me sea life as well as sea urchins, crabs, lobsters we thrust live into boiling water to then devour their meat.  We humans pride ourselves in our superior intelligence, even our humanity, but what about these creatures? 

I found myself wondering if we do discover life on other planets, or should life forms even eventually find us to visit our planet, what might they be like physically, with what moral and ethical values, if any?  Might habitual lying as a means to an end be acceptable behavior as even some humans exhibit?  What might they be like if in possession of emotions?   What might be the implications for we humans?

Remember the original Rod Serling “Twilight Zone” episode entitled “To Serve Man”? Here’s an abridged version:

Thinking about life and death as occurs in all life forms, I’m reminded of recently discovering on the internet an obituary of a friend who died several months earlier, finally confirming what I had been concerned was likely to have occurred.  She had held the 2006 celebration of life in her home in conjunction with many of my husband’s and our old friends after his death.  My children and I with others had travelled there from our respective homes to share that loving experience with one another. 

She was my last connection with any living friend or family member where I also lived many years of my life having key experiences –- where I met my husband, had earlier become politically active, served my first jury duty, effectively diluted with like-minded friends a covert racial discrimination situation, and shared many still treasured memories with then a large family and an abundance of friends on numerous occasions.        

My friend and I had abruptly ended our last phone conversation when she heard some of her family arriving just as she had begun to discuss some concerning personal family matters, expecting we would resume our conversation later.   We never had contact after that.  My letters, while never returned, or phone messages with the number’s recorded message soon changed to be more formal, elicited no response when I periodically called.  Efforts to reach a couple of her adult children I had never met were unsuccessful.   A rumor had been shared with me a few years earlier that she might have Alzheimer’s but was not verified -- I still don’t know. 

The number of living loved ones I have left have dwindled beyond any total I could ever have imagined.  Seems strange to think of myself as the elder in my family and now even among my few remaining living friends.  Just as many have shared here, one of the more difficult aspects of aging is the loss of friends and family which never gets easier.  We treasure the memories and we get on with life as those who care for us want us to do.  

I expect some of you are reading some interesting books, too, some of which may stimulate your thinking to go in many directions.   Maybe you’re engaged in crafts, or any one of a multitude of other activities attractive to you during these challenging times.  Likely your thoughts may occasionally take you on flights of fancy and speculation as mine sometimes do. 

Do continue to stay safe and as healthy as you can be.  Treasure whatever contact you may have with family and friends.   Take comfort in knowing that in time this situation in which we live shall pass.  My only question is, “will that be before or after I do?” she asked quizzically with a chuckle! 

  

MAYDAY -- AGE DIFFERENCES

MAYDAY

The first day of May brought to mind a term that probably could have been applied when the virus with which we’re now coping emerged to become a world pandemic.  “Mayday” is that term which is the international distress signal used mostly by aircraft and ships.  

The term’s adoption in English was in 1923 as described in Merriam-Webster’s Word History:

“Owing to the difficulty of distinguishing the letter “S” by telephone, the international distress signal “S.O.S” will give place to the words “May-day”, the phonetic equivalent of “M’aidez”, the French for “Help me.”

---“New Air Distress Signal, “The Times [London], 2 Feb. 1923”

Most of us likely became familiar with that Mayday term and meaning in dramatic story sequences we read in books or saw in movies.   We now contend with a different type of drama as dissension surfaces over whether or not we need to continue wearing masks and  sheltering-in-place.  Meanwhile, we each adapt and protect ourselves in our own way despite what others do.   I continue to mask and stay in my home though some may choose to do otherwise.

AGE DIFFERENCES SIGNIFICANCE

The other day thoughts came to mind causing me to recall some instances in my life when I’ve been sensitive to age differences.   I thought about some of my friends married to contemporaries with both still living and I admit to feeling a bit envious.   Perhaps, if I had married someone my age I wouldn’t be alone now.  Of course, I know that’s all fantasy thinking, that numerous other scenarios could have occurred. 

   

I recall in my mid-twenties dating a guy who was developing a widow’s peak hairline leading me to assume he was older than me, a belief he reinforced.  When he finally revealed that he was, in fact, several years my junior, I was not only surprised but bothered by that difference, partly because he had been less than honest with me.  I’m not sure now why our age difference concerned me, beyond the fact he mis-lead me in the first place, though I did wonder what else he might avoid the truth about.   But for some reason I do recall being bothered that he was younger which seems not to matter to me now.   In the long run it wasn’t an issue since we eventually mutually ended our relationship. 

Then, there was the occasion when I was in my seventh decade, continuing to work.  I periodically interacted at my work site with a much younger person that was especially enjoyable for several reasons, including we shared a similar sense of humor.   I was pleased when in time that person’s administrative skills and talents were recognized, resulting in their advancement to a responsible higher level position.  We continued to kibbitz as before on those generally less frequent occasions when we met. 

Then, one day our conversation somehow resulted in my incidentally, but casually, mentioning my age.  I’ll never forget the startled look on my friend’s face, who after a long pause, commented, ”I thought you were about the same age as me.”  I don’t know what significance this difference made to my friend as nothing was altered for me.  I had always had a variety of friends on the age range spectrum. 

I do know that from that day forward, whenever we came in contact the person became very formal, kept the interaction brief.   So, I respected the invisible line that was being drawn for whatever the reasons. 

Have you ever encountered an individual or situation when age difference had significance to you, them or both of you? 

IF ONLY OR WHAT IF -- FISHY -- EAGLET DIET

Big Bear Bald Eaglets Fishy Diet: 

   Continuing Up Date

Mama Jackie brings in a live fish - gives new meaning to sushi's sashimi.  Cookie whines, then feeding begins also with Simba.  Papa Shadow arrives with another fish.  Eaglets are rapidly growing in size -- dark feathers appear to be emerging from fluffy fuzz.   Weather conditions have been trending cooler than normal with periodic wind and unusual rain for May.   Quick real-time glances of the nest I’ve taken during stormy times reveal parental efforts to shelter eaglets but they’re much larger now and generally are exposed.   

Live 24/7 Video Cam:  https://youtu.be/5b2dUgK6VV4

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A question that persists for me:  
Is there something fishy continuing in the White House to undermine our democracy with the effort to centralize power there by weakening the other government branches coupled with neutralizing journalists (Fourth Estate) who report facts and truth? 

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What If ..... If Only ..... Revisited .....

My recent May 5^th post and comments querying whether or not a spouse affects what one thinks of as success reminded me of this.  This is a refresh with some editing of a July 2007 post. 

Occasionally through the years, in moments of contemplation, I've thought about how an individual’s life might be different from the one they have, based on circumstantial changes in their activities, events, residences, other variables, earlier in their life.

What if, at various times, anywhere along the way, the twists and turns of choices and changes affecting them were made in directions other than the ones they did experience, thus leading to different outcomes or destinations?

I don't think about this for myself, generally, from a sense of regret. I think about it more from a standpoint of curiosity. I wonder how others view that question? 

I've thought, wouldn't life be interesting if we could just put on hold whatever our existence was at a given time. Then, we could go off on an alternate route, full well knowing we could come back to the place we were before if we chose, then resume life where we left off.  I guess that would require a quite different life dimension for each of us since we would be affecting so many other lives.  Perhaps that could be possible ..... in science fiction. 

As for myself, I experienced events at four or five years of age I would like to have avoided on both a personal and family level.    An accident that comes to mind I only recall based on the details my mother described to me.  I was perched behind the rider's seat reveling in the moment when my foot became entangled with the spokes of a moving bicycle wheel.   The wheel spokes penetrated my ankle, though thankfully left me with only a large scar present yet today. What if... I hadn’t tried to find a foot rest for my tired dangling little legs, which resulted in me instead catching my foot in those bicycle spokes?

What if, some other changes, experiences, relocations, in my life hadn't occurred? For example:

What if... my birth family had remained intact?   My experience of having my birth father remaining in our home could have offered me a different perspective on relationships.

What if... I had grown up and stayed in my birth city, or even the same state?   My circle of friends might have continued to be more centered on those there.   I did retain one life long friend until she died a couple years ago, even though we had both left.   But all the other friends I’ve made in subsequent relocations around the country I would never have known.

What if... my mother had not had some of the medical/sensory problems she developed? My life would have been affected differently if she had been able to return to her teaching profession, or even expanded differently on her other skills and artistic talents. 

What if... I had been able to continue my music, dancing classes, develop other potential career interests and attend the private university to which I aspired?   My life career choices might have been quite different.    

What if... I had never lived for a few years in the country exposed to nature as a major companion?   My appreciation and understanding of the environment and nature might stem from quite a different perspective as a primarily city girl. 

What if... I hadn't had to give away my dog when we moved?  My memory would be relieved of that emotional loss that I feel yet today.

What if... I had been allowed to accept the offer to ride a horse in Tucson, Arizona's annual western parade in that southwestern state to which we had just moved across country?   I would have treasured memories -- assuming there were no incidents with which this inexperienced rider might have had to cope – which is why my mother didn’t give me permission.   She apologized for this in later life – but I reassured her she probably made the wise decision. 

What if... a generous family member hadn’t offered to loan me the money to attend college in a day when there were no community colleges, scholarships were limited, student loans were unavailable?  I was so determined I would have explored other means.   I recall that  included the possibility of enlisting in a branch of the armed forces, despite the negative attitude of some in that time toward women in the military.  

What if... I hadn't made what later seemed like foolish mistakes on occasion?  What if... I hadn't had those instances in speaking when I "put my foot in my mouth"?   What if... I hadn’t met some of the people I’ve met, or I had met some others I didn’t meet?   What if... so many more "what ifs" that I could mention.

There is one interesting observation I've made over the years whenever I’ve heard most people engage in "What if...?" speculation as I've mentioned here previously. Invariably, whatever the past event or previous experience about which they are speculating, their assumption is that the result would have turned out better for them, "If only ...?"

How would my life have been different “if only…”?   Would my life have been “better” – whatever that means?  I wonder, do others ever consider the possibility the consequences just might have been much less desirable when they envision their “What if…” and "If only..."scenario?