Many years ago, perhaps around 2003, I went to interview an older woman named Emily. She was in charge of the local historic society and ran the museum.
I had worked for her about 15 years prior, spending time at the museum cataloging items. She and I had a falling out because I wanted to set up a database on the computer for the items; she wanted everything written on a yellow legal pad. I threw up my hands and quit; it was a part-time job, and I could do without the hassle.
She didn't speak to me for years after that. I became involved in a different historic society and perhaps that helped her come around.
Anyway, since we were on speaking terms again, I went to Emily's house to interview her for the newspaper about changes in the museum (which by now was computerized, etc.) and her efforts to catalogue every school that once existed in the county.
She greeted me cordially and offered me a glass of tea. I admired her house, which was one of the older ones in town, and then proceeded to move on with the interview, asking pertinent questions about what the historical group was doing, her research, etc.
Suddenly, she began slurring her words. She looked funny to me as well, almost like she was drunk and falling over. I stopped the interview and asked her if she was ok.
She said she was diabetic and probably needed some orange juice; would I get her a glass out of the refrigerator?
This I promptly did, and then waited anxiously while she drank it.
My grandmother was diabetic and had what she called "sugar drops," but they were nothing like this. This did not seem to me to be a diabetic issue. This was scary, whatever was going on.
However, I am not a qualified health care person. When I suggested that I should take her to the doctor, who at that time was about four blocks away, she grew angry. She told me the interview was over and I should leave.
Having been tossed out of the house, there was nothing I could do but go. However, I came home and called the only people I knew who were related to her and left a message on their answering machine asking if they could check on her.
They never called me back, so the next morning I called Emily to see if she alright. I was quite anxious about her.
She told me that after I'd left, she'd driven herself to the doctor who thought she'd had a TIA.
A TIA is a transient ischemic attack, also known as a mini-stroke.
I'd never witnessed anyone having a stroke, and while I had some clue as to what to look for, having it happen in front of me was terrifying.
There are more than 200,000 TIAs in the United States annually, so this happens a lot.
The symptoms include:
Slurred speech and difficulty in understanding others
Vision problems
Weakness, numbness or paralysis on one side of the body
Loss of balance
Dizziness
Sudden and severe headache
She experienced the slurred speech and loss of balance. I'm not sure about the other symptoms but those I could see for myself.
I don't know why, but for some reason I woke up with this on my mind, so I thought I'd write about it. I hadn't thought about this person, who died long ago, or this interview, in many years but it was on my brain first thing this morning.
1) What one event from your lifetime would you change if you could, and why?
A. I think I have answered this before: I would not have been born. But if that is not an acceptable answer, then I would have insisted I go to Hollins out of high school, or found some way to go, since my parents didn't want me to go there. It would have changed the entire trajectory of my life as I'd probably not have married my husband. Maybe we'd have married anyway. It's hard to say. But that's one thing I would change.
2) If you could give one piece of advice to your younger self, what would it be and how old would your younger self be when they got it? Do you think your younger self would listen?
A. "It will get easier." Age 13. Hopefully, she would have listened.
3) Would you be any good on Survivor?
A. Oh, I'd be out on the first day probably. I'm a princess and wouldn't be able to deal with the hardship of it. I like my comforts like mattresses and food and stuff.
4) What's a safety rule that's very important to you?
A. Don't get shot.
5) What would you like to say to people in the future?
A. We really were as stupid as the videos on the ancient Youtube indicate.
6) What's your favorite dish to bring to a summer cookout?
A. A supermarket-fixed chicken, a bag of potato chips, and a bottle of soda.
7) How much time have you spent outdoors this week?
A. Maybe 30 minutes.
8) Where do you set your thermostat?
A. I don't set it anywhere. It is affixed to the wall.
9) How did you learn to swim?
A. I'm pretty sure my father threw me in a pool and said, "Swim," and I did, but maybe I am imagining that.
10) How do you avoid overheating?
A. I don't go outside when it's 90 degrees.
11) What are you going to do this weekend?
A. I'm trying to take care of my swollen hand.
12) What’s your favorite way to spend time?
A. Reading, writing, playing guitar (sniff, sniff, I haven't been able to do that for weeks now), and playing video games.
13) What’s the most useless thing you own that you would never get rid of?
A. My college diplomas.
14) Have you started planning your next vacation?
A. We are not planning a vacation.
15) Are you very active, or do you prefer to just relax in your free time or is it one and the same to you?
A. I am not active. I'm what you would call "sedentary" far too much of the time.
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1) Frank Sinatra sings, "If I knew then what I know now." If you were giving advice to a recent high school grad, based on that phrase, what would you say?
A. I would tell the person not to worry about what is going to happen tomorrow, because it is always the things one doesn't worry about that ultimately trip you up. I'd also tell him/her to get more education, whatever their interest, even if that's a certificate in plumbing.
2) This song is about a man looking back on his marriage, which has ended. While he is sad, he is not sorry he loved her. Do you believe that it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?
A. It's better to have loved and lost, I think. I know there is heartache involved with that, but a life without having loved sounds pretty empty to me.
3) Sinatra married four times. He met his first wife, Nancy, when he was 19. He saw a pretty girl sitting on her front porch, giving herself a pedicure, and he rushed home for his ukulele so he could serenade her. Have you ever sung to anyone? Has anyone ever sung to you?
A. I sing to my husband frequently; I'm not sure he realizes I am telling him something when I do that, though. He cannot sing but if I ask, he will sing "Soft Kitty" to me at night before we go to sleep.
4) According to Barbara, his final wife, they met when they were neighbors in Rancho Mirage, California. Sinatra had his own tennis court, needed a fourth for doubles with his houseguests, and invited the lady next door to play. Tell us about your neighbors.
A. One of my neighbors is in her 80s. She was the athletic director at Hollins College, my alma mater, and led championship teams. She was a huge supporter of Title IX and an advocate for women's sports. She has a long list of sports titles from the many things she has done. She also owns a farm and has cattle. She is one of the most interesting people I know.
Here is a video of her talking about her work with Title IX.
5) When not performing before an audience or cameras, Sinatra often wore hats and caps because his hair was thin, and his toupee annoyed him. Is there anything you wear for "dress up" that you're happy to ditch when you go casual?
A. Makeup. I used to wear makeup every day, but then we had Covid. Since I didn't leave the house for months, I stopped wearing makeup. Now I don't wear makeup just to go to the store or something, although I think I look a little better with makeup. However, after the long break from it, makeup bothered me and made my eyes itch and I've yet to find something that doesn't. Unless I really need to have on that mascara and eye shadow, it's au natural for me these days.
6) Frank had a sweet tooth and to the end of his life, he enjoyed chocolate-covered apricots, ordered from Lepore's in his hometown of Hoboken, NJ. If you could have any sweet treat right now, what would you request?
A. Chocolate covered cherries. And white cake with white icing. Just because.
7) This song was written specifically for Sinatra by Bob Gaudio, best known as a member of The Four Seasons. That 1960s quartet is now legendary. In addition to 25 Top Ten Hits, they are in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and inspired the Broadway play and movie musical, Jersey Boys. Do you have a favorite Four Seasons song?
A. December, 1963 (Oh What a Night).
8) In 1970, the year this record was released, The Mary Tyler Moore Show premiered. Were you a fan?
A. I'm afraid it did not run on a channel we could receive, so I didn't see it unless I was visiting my grandparents or someone else. We could only get one channel for a long time when I was growing up.
9) Random question: Have you ever named your car or truck?
A. I call it "car" and it seems to respond well to that.
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Husband has been released from his doctor after a post-op checkup earlier this week.
He can do anything he feels like doing.
So yay.
At the moment, he's taken over some of my duties while I try to get the swelling out of my hand and get it back to working properly.
When he was off sick, we had no rain. Now he could work, but it is raining, and a farmer doesn't cut hay in the rain, generally speaking.
Maybe next week he can start back to work on the farm.
I am very pleased he did so well with this hip replacement surgery. They have come a long way in techniques so that the healing process is not as bad as it once was.
I am easily aggravated lately. Let's see if there have been 13 aggravations of late.
1. A poetry journal that I've been publishing in for the last several years sent me an email telling me they couldn't afford the postage to mail me my "contributor's copy" so would I please send them $10. That's not paying me a contributor's copy. That is me paying them. I won't submit to this publication again; I don't care how good its reputation is or used to be.
2. My hand is a constant aggravation because I can't get the swelling to go down and I'm not sure what is wrong with it.
3. I can't play my guitar because of my hand.
4. My county Board of Supervisors has apparently never met a rezoning proposal it doesn't like. Wayward, unplanned growth doesn't make for a healthy community. It makes a mess.
5. The local daily newspaper gets worse every week. I suspect we're on our last year of subscribing. I will miss it, but I'm not paying more for less.
6. The local weekly newspaper isn't even worth looking at. What a waste of trees. How depressing. And sad. I mourn the loss of the Fourth Estate.
7. We bought Sam's Club Member's Mark brand batteries a while back. They do not last long. We went back to Energizers, although I actually think Duracell is the best battery. I couldn't find any of those.
8. My local CVS seems to be having stocking issues; I'm having a hard time finding things in there now. They were the best place to look during much of the pandemic but not so much now.
9. Covid cases are up. We're in a high transmission area. Are people taking precautions? No. Does this aggravate me? Yes. I do have to go to the grocery store sometimes. I never understood why wearing a mask was such a big deal. Personally, I have had fewer colds and been much less ill since I started wearing a mask. Since I like not being sick, I will continue to wear one.
10. I have a new mole on my side and the darn thing itches constantly. It's so small I can barely see it, but its itch is as big as my entire side. Which is pretty big since I'm overweight.
11. The doctor's scale said I weighed as much as I weighed when I was in there two months ago, but my scales tell me I have lost 5 pounds since the end of June. I think I will believe my scales.
12. Friday night Melissa Etheridge will be performing within driving distance of me, but I won't be going to see her yet again. I can't believe she's been this close twice now and I haven't been to see her either time. Apparently, my desire for personal comfort and health outweighs my desire to see one of my favorite musicians. But damn. Blast you, Covid!
13. I'm actually aggravated that I am being aggravated by so many things at the moment. And such silly things, too. Life things, everyday things. I need a chill pill, I think.
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Thursday Thirteen is played by lots of people; there is a list here if you want to read other Thursday Thirteens and/or play along. I've been playing for a while, and this is my 766th time to do a list of 13 on a Thursday. Or so sayth the Blogger counter, anyway.
