MEMORIES OF MOTHER

Memories come to mind of my Mother born into the predominantly agrarian nineteenth century and her transition from living in a farming community into the twentieth century industrial world.  I first shared some of these thoughts on Mother’s Day in 2009.

These days when so many experience difficulties encountered as a consequence of a nation and world with such wealth inequity, coupled with government upheavals – nations moving away from democracy -- are unlike any in my lifetime. I often wonder what my mother would have to say on the subjects.

Mother become a young married woman during the twenty’s heydays preceding the Great Depression. I recall her descriptions of a none too easy early married life though that evolved into a more prosperous existence in their later married years as occurs with many couples.  

She said the hardships during the depression’s financial downturn did not directly adversely affect our family.  The challenging years occurred before I was born later in her life.   Our immunity to severe hardship was primarily because my father’s work was associated with the newspaper business. Newspapers were the primary source of news, so they were in much demand by almost everyone regardless of their financial situation. In fact, two of the most prominent state newspapers were vying for his distribution services.

Radio was just beginning with unprecedented broadcasting power thanks to Powell Crosley and the ultimate “Nation’s Station” WLW in Cincinnati, Ohio.  “Constructed to sell the radios his factory produced, WLW became the most powerful AM broadcast station ever licensed for use in the U.S.”  Years later they were prominent in television broadcasting including presenting talk shows before networks adopted them.  This was the several state broadcasting group that had been sold to another corporation with which I was ultimately associated.

Those early years in my life I recall we enjoyed some radio programs selectively chosen by my mother – lots of music, some drama, comedies and news.   There was no TV yet during my mother’s young midlife years, much less computers and the Internet of today. Newspapers were a primary source listing employment opportunity for those seeking work. People placed ads to sell belongings so they could raise some desperately needed cash while others with limited cash sought bargain prices as they needed these items but had little money themselves. Everyone wanted to subscribe or at least access a newspaper. This is hardly the situation that exists today in the newspaper business. 

In fact, more and more local newspapers are ceasing publication leaving serious questions about the implications for democracy.  These community publications serve as monitors of local governments, investigating as needed, distributing news to a local populace likely not disseminated otherwise.  Even any local radio stations once a news source generally no longer are.   News staffs for ordinary local news in the multitude of this nation’s small communities are typically non-existent.  Think about available sources of local news in your own community.  

During the Depression my mother continued to be active in her women’s church group. They devoted themselves to helping others in need, an activity in which she engaged for many of those years and throughout her lifetime when she was able.  In those years  after the Depression when Mother unexpectedly was on her own with our young family there was a holiday in which we became the needy recipients of aid as she had provided others. 

A few years after I was born our fortunes had changed and my mother had become a single parent in a time when a woman raising a family alone found life could be very difficult. My immediate family had never lived extravagantly, but as I entered my early childhood years, I was absorbing from observing my mother the lessons of needing to be even more practical and frugal.  I was also learning everyone, including women, needed to be able to provide for themselves and even others for whom they might have to assume complete responsibility – that this could occur quite unexpectedly.

Mother was a remarkable woman who in her later years in the face of other adversity, when she became legally blind and limited in visual activities, created unique multi-colored hooked rugs that became unexpectedly desired by others who even wanted to  purchase them. Her vision prevented her from quilting, sewing or making other fabric or fiber items she had once enjoyed creating.  She had simply wanted something to occupy her, keeping her awake while she listened to what was then called “Talking Books”, long before audio books were available today. 

My mother had an amazingly optimistic and positive attitude toward life. She made multiple transitions and adaptations to her varying circumstances. I marvel at how well she coped as she lived happily independently most of her remaining almost 90 years. My brother and I were able to assist her being able to do so though not to the extent we might have wished.  I miss her and wish I could have her company in my aging years.  We would probably have our moments of irritation with each other for one reason or another.  There would also be lots of laughs.  We would be good housemates together and have so much to talk about.

MOTHERS AND CHILDREN ADAPT

[These following recollections of mine are dedicated to all those mothers and children who did not survive the Holocaust, though my memories are unrelated to the horrific events of those years.   I am prompted to offer this symbolic commemoration since in recent months I've been listening to a child survivor of those harrowing times relate her recently deceased mother's emotionally moving words recounting the harrowing experiences of their survival.]


MOTHERS AND CHILDREN ADAPT

My long time Southern California best friends are experiencing parent care giving challenges similar to those I had years ago, as so many Boomers face today --  needing to assist older loved ones to live independently.    Almost ten years younger than I -- both recently retired, their children now adults with families of their own -- my friends are positioned differently than I was thirty years ago to provide parents needed help.

I was fortunate that once my Mother relocated from the Midwest she lived only a mile or less from my home, whereas my friends must drive from one community southeast of Los Angles, across that megalopolis to their parent’s northern Valley area home.   They also, have brothers and sisters living in much closer proximity to their parents, but my friend, being the first born daughter, and her husband provide much of the care. 

My much older only sibling was across the Pacific Ocean and unable to participate with my mother’s daily assistance.   No other family resided in California – in fact, lived a many-States distance away.   I won’t go into other specifics as they are incidental to the day-to-day picture.  

What’s important is, that no matter what anyone’s personal situation may be, at any time we can be unexpectedly thrust into a care giving circumstance.    Our attitude, that of surrounding family members and friends, and that of the loved one or patient themselves has a significant impact on how well we navigate the after effects of such an event, while – most importantly – preserving our own health. 

My children were young, my employed husband was coping with a difficult situation himself, coupled with the beginnings of his health decline -- all contributing to marital stresses.   I was in University training for my current profession, which added to life’s complications when my Mother had a sudden life-altering event.   She never fully recovered from this variously called stroke, brain attack, cerebral vascular accident (CVA.)  

Fortunately, her mental status remained intact.  The only residual effects were balance mechanism deficits and decreased walking ability.  Her brain could no longer perceive where her body was in space – proprioception problems.     So she had to always use a walker – not a four or even two wheeler, because the wheels would move too fast. 

Critically important was the requirement that my mother NEVER lean too far backward, especially when standing, because her brain would not send body position correcting messages to prevent her falling.  She certainly didn’t need any broken bones, or even a hip fracture, much less further brain injury if her head struck some piece of furniture, the floor or ground.   

Together Mother and I determined the choice was hers to continue living independently though falling could be a risk.    If she had exhibited memory, judgment, impulsiveness, or a number of other cognitive and physical problems her choice might not have been appropriate and I would not have hesitated to say so.   She never fell.

Fortunately, our relationship was of such mutual respect tempered by love that decision-making occurred with my mother always included and participating in the process.  Her cooperation for whatever was best never presented a problem.  I think this was partly because we were always honest, open and truthful with each other, even when the message might not always be what either of us wanted to say or hear.

She had been very active though legally blind for several decades with her vision gradually deteriorating even further through the following years.  She had lived independently many years after she was alone, choosing to continue doing so after she moved across country to be nearer to me.
 
Living in a small Midwest town when she was widowed  she had been  able to walk everywhere she needed for groceries, the post office, church, downtown for banking and shopping, to the courthouse lawn for weekend afternoon concerts and events.  Even the train depot and long distance bus station were close by. 

Her social life kept her busy joining friends for occasional countryside drives which might include roadside market stops for farm fresh eggs, fruits and vegetables.   Much younger friends with their children  sometimes stopped by to visit her simply because all ages enjoyed her company and the positive outlook  she had maintained despite some hardships she had known during her lifetime.

My mother enjoyed volunteering at the local hospital’s ladies sewing group, creating lap quilts for nursing home residents.   Fund-raising rummage sales to help the needy were among the activities in which she aided her church women’s group.

For a number of years at home she managed to occasionally use her treadle sewing machine for straight line stitching, as with repairing a seam, or joining two pieces of material together.  She couldn't use an electric machine because the sewing was much too rapid, possibly causing injury since she often said her fingers were her eyes.
 
This was quite a sewing adaptation from a woman trained to be a teacher who once could observe a dress in a window display, go home, reproduce the pattern and make that same dress for herself.   Or, the much in demand lady to whom word-of-mouth brought women asking her to fit ill-fitting dresses to their particular body form. 

She was comfortable with solitude, quite able to entertain herself.   Some years earlier I had learned of Talking Books before the days when audio books with playback devices were commercially available to the public.   She was delighted to receive free books and magazines on record (later tapes) to listen to at her leisure.  She discovered she didn’t dare lie down or simply sit in a chair while she was listening to a story or she would fall asleep only to awaken several missed chapters later.

Concluding she needed some activity to occupy her hands, she successfully experimented with creating an original type of rug hooking to do while listening to the books.   Mother subsequently hooked unique one-of-a-kind colorful rugs using select fabrics based on geometric patterns she recalled from the years when she had been able to quilt.  

Mother’s  creations multiplied in number, eventually became in demand, but were first sold in a local furniture store.   Subsequent years I placed them in Scottsdale, Arizona artist crafts stores, a local California antique store when we moved here.  We were told each year a Chicagoan returned here to purchase her hooked rugs.  Another family member released a few rugs that sold on Hawaii’s Big Island.   Her rugs have been described as examples of primitive art.   

Family contact was maintained during the years with occasional visits and phone calls on special occasions.   Mother's sisters and a cousin circulated  round robin letters she could sometimes read using magnification if large black print on white, but increasingly letters had to be read to her.  

Her hearing loss (presbycusis - aging hearing loss) was, fortunately, mostly negligible.    So, when personal tape recorders with cassettes became accessible technology, my brother supplied each of us with one.   We exchanged audio tape letters after she learned equipment operational skills. 

The years before televisions had remote controls I was able to locate a then soon-to-be out-dated push button television set (I still have it,) since a channel dial presented her visual difficulties.   Again her fingers were her eyes, she said, so could feel the buttons for the channel she desired once she learned the broadcast station  sequence.

Mother enjoyed listening to a few television programs, often on public television (PBS,) music, comedy (if not too visual) and variety shows, news,  game shows like Jeopardy, other programs that offered lots of dialogue and didn't depend too much on visual action to convey crucial aspects of a plot.    Radio programming continued to be a favored medium, especially bedside if she couldn't sleep.  

The older I become, the more frequently I seem to recall my mother’s words, our experiences together.  I often wish I could talk with her now,  having gained a perspective only years lived can provide.
   

Vision & Hearing Needs

Resources -- Comment Responses

I recently received hearing impaired and vision request inquiries in comments on my post about the Gnomedex Conference 2007. (see "Gnomedex Proud Elder" 8/11/07.) That was the Seattle conference where Ronni Bennett of "Time Goes By" presented on the topic of Elderblogging. (See “An Elderblogger At Gnomedex”) She discussed with these technology professionals some of the special computer features that would benefit some of all ages, but especially many elders (50 yrs and older) and those with special needs.

She continues to champion special features integration into computer design for elder ease of use and simplicity. She also proposes an inexpensive computer be produced to expand the Internet world to all elders including those with limited financial resources.

CBS-TV “60 Minutes” recently followed up an earlier Lesley Stahl story about the $100 computer created by MIT’S Nicholas Negroponte which could well have application to elder needs as Ronni has suggested.

Meanwhile, I promised in my blog post that I would explore and post here further information on the hearing and vision comments made on what I wrote.

1. Darlene said here and at TGB:
"I am severely hearing impaired and I wish someone would convince the computer geeks at YouTube that we need closed captioning below the videos. I miss out on so many things like clips of the Daily Show{with Jon Stewart} and Bill Moyers Journal."

Darlene, I tried many approaches but was unable to find a way to forward your request to any of the YouTube Team. Perhaps others more technological knowledgeable than I will read this and be able to find an email address. I think it's quite likely Ronni Bennett will make note of your same comment made on TGB. She will likely be more successful in presenting your view to those who need to be aware.

2. Ruthe said:
"I have trouble reading your blog, which shows up as gray on white. Be kind to vision impaired elders like me and make the typeface larger and bolder."

Ruthe, as I mentioned in an earlier comment response to you, my technical skills and time to devote to learning how to make alterations from the norm on my blog through Blogger are limited presently. Perhaps the best option for you and others with similar low vision issues would be to use a screen magnifier that would enlarge ALL print on your computer screens, as most blogs seem to be written in normal typeface size. I know only too well from my mother’s visual needs and that of others with whom I’ve interacted, that often thick or heavier black lines contrasted against a white background are needed to facilitate visual perception for many individuals.

Following are some links I was able to obtain through Google search that provide information and/or products of interest to individuals with visual limitations. I have not personally used any of these links and products, nor have I had direct contact with anyone who has used them. They do appear to be worth a potential users investigation.

I am aware there has been increased vision emphasis in recent years with some Occupational Therapists (O.T.) providing low vision therapy. You might want to consider checking with your local hospital or rehabilitation hospital to see if such service is available in your community. Be certain to establish any vision therapists you engage have obtained special or continuing education and training for providing such visual deficit interventions.

In Southern California, Los Angeles County, where I live, whenever I receive inquiries about special vision needs and products, I provide referrals to their ophthalmologist and a local hospital whose O.T.’s do provide a low vision program. A primary referral source I provide is to the Braille Institute whose website states: "Braille Institute is a private non-profit organization whose mission is to eliminate blindness and severe sight loss as a barrier to a fulfilling life."

They have a large mobile van that regularly visits Southern California communities, often senior citizen meeting places, where individuals can seek the most current information about all vision issues. I suggest you check with your local ophthalmologists, senior groups, phone directory and Internet listings to see what is available in your area.

One Braille Institute service with which I am most familiar is Talking Books -- available throughout the United States, free to those legally blind or blind. I do have personal experience with this organization as my mother, legally blind, received the benefits of some of their services; was a user of audio Talking Books, first when they were records, then tapes. Today the books are on CDs. Certainly they are much more readily available from public libraries, for purchase, with Internet sources, too. Talking Books were a lifeline to the world for my mother for many years.

Following is a computer screen magnifier product I have read favorable comments about from some individuals who reportedly are satisfied users that you might want to consider: BigShot Magnifier"This low-cost, easy-to-use magnification program allows you to fine tune the screen for more comfortable viewing. With 20 levels of magnification from 100 to 200 percent, BigShot allows you to focus on your work without straining to see the screen. Price $99."

Other links I located included:A listing of numerous links to U.S. Internet Resources - Low Vision; UAB Lister Hill Library of the Health Sciences; Association of Vision Science Librarians

"The Low Vision Gateway to the Internet is your starting point to the world's resources to vision loss, vision impairment, blindness, low vision aids and low vision rehabilitation services."

Vision Aware - Self Help for Vision Loss

The Low Vision Store.com
Vision Related Websites:
"Untangling The Web" WVU

”Resources on Visual Disability
“Resources in this category are primarily targeted to software and devices to assist people with visual disabilities to operate computers.”

Access Dome
"For People Working to Make the Web Accessible"
"We are a Global Community dedicated to individuals seeking or offering products, services, information, and participation in ensuring that the Web is accessible to people with disabilities, including people who are vision impaired or have hearing disabilities, physical disabilities, cognitive, and neurological disabilities.”

American Foundation for the Blind (AFB)is a significant information source reporting: "Low vision can result from specific eye conditions, such as cataracts, macular degeneration, glaucoma, and diabetic retinopathy, or from a stroke." This AFB site also clearly describes the differences between cataracts, macular degeneration and glaucoma.

There are many more resources on the Internet for those who wish to conduct further research. No doubt others may be able to provide additional information on these topics.