Finish amidst the chaos....

 This is my one and only finish in the past few months....and I have done very little sewing otherwise.

Normally I wash a quilt first thing when it is finished.  This has been finished over a month and I just yesterday washed it.  I must say I like it much better after washing it.

**********

As most of you guess a move is in our future, if nothing happens.  We are moving in with one of our daughters.  So we will be there when things happen.  They will not have to miss a whole day of work if they need to help us...or if Roger ends up in ER again.  She had to have contractors in...they are done.  And the girls have been taking loads of things.  Even dug up some things and transferred over there last fall.

I have gotten rid of so much stuff it is not even funny.  And there is so much more to go through.  My mind is in a whirl.  Which it has been that way for a while now anyway.  I used to read at least one book a week, and more than likely two or three.  Now, it takes me a month...for various reasons.  And I do read more in the summer when I can go outside and sit.

More has happened with Roger...I won't bore you with too much of it though.  He fell flat out on his face Feb 3...ended up with a black eye, and I am pretty sure a cracked or broken rib...and skinned a place on his arm that I am still taking care of.  He has only been out of the house twice since then, and that because I wanted the dr. to look at his arm.

I will hush for now...don't know if I will be posting again for a while, but thought I would do a little update.

A bit of this and that...and GOOD.

More salsa from another year...I sure would enjoy some of it right now!

**********
You know sometimes life is a bit challenging.  Sometimes I am a big wuss...no courage or backbone at all.  To say it has been a bit challenging for us is putting it lightly.

Roger was always able to make about anything or fix anything.  And though I was not Mrs. Fix-it, I could work and accomplish things.

Last year because of my accident, we paid to have the yard mowed.  In the previous years Roger had used the riding mower and I did certain parts of the yard with push mower.

It is not a big yard, so thought it would be good for me to mow it this year.  Or at least try to mow it.  I thought it would help get me back to walking normal because I would be concentrating on mowing rather than worrying about hurting my foot.  Well, we went out there the other day and the mower would not start.  It had always been easy to start.

Our neighbor saw us and came over and tried to pull start it and couldn't.  Today I looked at Amazon trying to decide on a new mower.  Even though I thought it was something simple with the old, it is just beyond Roger.  That is why I was thinking about a new one.  I set and looked at Amazon while we ate breakfast this morn, came home with the intentions of ordering a certain one.

But it has a bag, and it is self propelled....I have not used a self propelled in years and years and years, but I didn't enjoy it when younger and was afraid I wouldn't now.  And it had the bag, and we had one one time with a bag and didn't like.  So, got to looking more.  I spent a good two hours looking, reading reviews, etc and still could not make up my mind.  Just so indecisive I drive my crazy.  But it actually might have been a good thing this time.

This evening, I had given Roger his meds and we had set down for the night.   I thought I heard someone at the back door...went in there and it was our neighbor...he came to get the mower and is going to see if he can fix it.  And he is good at stuff like that so it will probably be fixed fairly soon.

************
Roger has his allergy shots tomorrow...Friday is a doctor's visit.  He has to go to get prescriptions renewed.  But also has nodules on his thyroid and we have to see our family doctor to see about getting them checked.  He had a CT scan a while back to check that the spot on his lung had not changed and they seen those nodules.

Plus they seen 'something' on his kidney...the previous year's scan did not go far down enough to see it.  So we don't know how long it has been there.  It may just be a cyst.  And the girl said that 99% of the time the nodules on the thyroid are nothing to worry about.

Monday I take him to have a CT scan without and with dye to check the kidney thing.

A bit of a review....

It has been a stressful week for us....if you don't feel like reading, just know that it was good news.  The new med for Roger did succeed in stopping the anxiety/panic attacks.  And the CT scan was done this past Monday.

We both had appointments with dermatologists on Wednesday.  They are at the same place but with different doctors.  I stressed about how that was going to work out, since Roger does not have much short term memory.  But they are so kind and so good, she staggered them till I could be in the room with him.  He really isn't having much breaking out now.  Every now and then a little patch will pop up....but nothing terrible.  So, she told me how to use his meds...when he originally got them, I was not with him. He could not remember how they were supposed to be used.

Then it was my turn.  I have had three spots of basal cell cancer on my face, so I get worried about things that don't heal.  I had a spot come, and it has been getting bigger...but keep in mind that it started as not much more than the head of straight pin, and grew to about a quarter of an inch.  And every time I washed my face, there would be a fresh bloody little scab come.

Well, she looked at it and gave it a name, said she didn't think she needed to do a biopsy because it wasn't cancer, and froze it off plus a couple or three other places.  I was so relieved, and thankful I could have cried.  I had not told Roger I was worried, but with putting sunscreen on my face, I have to look at my face every day...and I just wish I could avoid it. 

We then seen our nurse practitioner Friday and got the news about the scan--nothing had changed, no new bleeds nothing going on there.  So that was a relief.  So thankful for answered prayers.

I don't get the fearful feelings quite like I used to...this one friend of Roger's always told me the Good Lord was not done with Roger yet...he seemed to have no doubt that Roger would make it through.

Then I get to thinking about when I had him to the ER in February, the nurse that had him that day, had been there when he had the brain bleed.  And he told us that Somebody was on our side, because the helicopter had been in the area doing some training and they did not have to wait on it to get here.  So the Lord has been good to us...

******************
A year ago Roger had a TIA(mini-stroke)...on our anniversary.  Technically that was yesterday.  He had the stroke August 2nd.  I try not to dwell on it....but oh, what a time that was.  I am so thankful to still have time with him.  When he was in the hospital I stayed some nights with my brother and then in his room; in rehab I would come home at night...I would often cry most of the way home...I would cry because it was a beautiful sunset, or beautiful sky and he couldn't be there to see it with me.  I wondered would we ever get to go on another drive together.  I wondered would I ever feel his arms around me....would he ever come to himself. 

And he has....somethings are really slow coming, but little things keep improving.  At first he didn't have much interest in TV, then, he started watching it but couldn't quite use the remote....now he has it figured out and can turn the TV on and off, and find what he wants.  He still doesn't do much on the computer, but he does get on Youtube and find videos to watch while he rides the stationary bike.  So things keep improving...

******************
I heard these guys, Future Islands, on Austin City Limits tonight...they have a decidedly different sound.  And two or three of their songs really sound alike.  I almost changed channels but for some reason, I didn't.  I really like this song...the words to it are below the video.



"Ran"

Ingest, where it goes, nobody sees but me
So perfect and so sweet
But the rest, feels incomplete
Like the rabbit's foot I keep
In the locket, with no key

And I can't take it, I can't take this world without
This world without you
I can't take it, I can't take it on my own
On my own

On these roads
Out of love, so it goes
How it feels when we fall, when we fold
How we lose control, on these roads
How it sings as it goes
Flight of field, driving snow
Knows the cold

Ran round the wailing world

And what's a song without you?
When every song I write is about you
When I can't hold myself without you
And I can't change the day I found you

On these roads
Out of love, so it goes
How it feels when we fall, when we fold
How we lose control, on these roads
How it sings as it goes
Flight of field, driving snow
Knows the cold

Out of love, so it goes
How it feels when we fall, when we fold
How we lose control, on these roads
How it sings as it goes
Flight of field, driving snow
Knows the cold
Ran round the wailing world

Butterflies and Lorelei at the creek

The above is what the creek has been looking like...no sandbar, turbulent waters...

Lorelei loves to go wade in the creek and look for crawdads and baby turtles and whatever else she can find.  Imagine our surprise to find it at this calm, low level yesterday.

Believe it or not, right behind  her is a hole of water that would at least be up to her neck...the build up of sand where she is standing is new...it is in the middle of the channel and she has to wade water up to her knees at least to get back to the main gravel bar.

She and Papaw went for a bit of a walk...it was almost too much for Roger...but he made it back safely to the bank but he was sure tired.  It is hard for Lorelei to comprehend how much her Papaw has changed.  And even though I am with him every day, it sometimes catches me off guard, too.

Lorelei had some butterfly attraction going on!

The way she was giggling I think they tickled her when they crawled around on her.

 Notice in the above picture there is also a butterfly on the finger of her other hand that is at the upper edge of the photo. 

I hope you enjoy seeing what we were doing yesterday....it was a fun time...

I will be linking to Wednesday Around the World....

Were any of you ever fascinated with these old lamps?  I have loved anything that burned kerosene/coal oil since I was a child.  I know there is a difference between coal oil and kerosene but I think my mom used the words interchangeably. 

I had two or three 'cheaper' versions when I was a kid.  One was a little one that was made totally of light blue glass...bought at the same Brashear's Glass Barn that we used to trade books at.  The other was a small red metal one, about half as tall as the one above.  Both were so cheaply made I probably should not have ever lit them.  I feel like I had another one but for the life of me, I cannot think what it looked like, so maybe the two are all I ever had.

They had oil in them.   I would actually burn them for a while every so often.  There was magic to lighting one of them and setting by it and pretending that was all I had to read by.  I always think of myself as not having had much of an imagination as a child, but I guess I pretended more than I remember most of the time.

**********
Roger has not been feeling well since last Thursday.  We know to expect 'off' days since the stroke, but this is getting a little old.  I feel like there has been some improvement in the past couple of days though so maybe he will be back to his new normal soon.  This has been sort of like how he felt back in February when I ended up taking him to the ER.

A good update...

We are all resting a little easier around here....had a few rough days, but Roger is finally feeling basically normal again.  We still don't know what it was.  I ended up taking him to the Emergency Room Friday...they put an IV in and gave him fluids, gave him morphine for pain, and zofran for the nausea.

His blood didn't show anything wrong, tested negative for flu;  they did chest x-rays, urine sample, and EKG.....and nothing showed.  He still felt bad all day Saturday. Stayed in bed almost all day.  Yesterday, he got up and stayed up but felt bad still.

All through this he has talked about feeling there terrible fears, and sense of dread.  One of the nurses said that this is sort of normal after having something so traumatic as the stroke.

Anyway, I want to thank everyone for their prayers.  Not sure how much blogging I will do but I did want to do this update.  I thought about doing it last night but was half afraid he would wake up feeling terrible again. 

On Being thankful...

This is going to seem to be a crazy 'thankful' post once you have read it all.  First, let me say that I am really thankful that spring is near.  We have enjoyed shirt sleeve weather here this week.

Linking to Thankful Thursday
*****************
I am really thankful to still have Roger here with me.  He started out having a good week, but yesterday evening he started feeling weird.  He did not say anything till he went to bed...so I took his blood pressure.  It was okay.

This morning he got up and still felt the same.  Every morn he wants to go to Hardee's or McDonald's for coffee and a breakfast sandwich.  It is seldom that we don't go somewhere of the morn...we maybe stay home once a week.  Anyway, I told him I planned to stay home...but in a little bit he asked me if we could go...that he just needed to be out and be around people.  So we went.  I know that he can feel a bit normal out like that.  Where everyone is just sitting, enjoying a little break.

He felt weird all day till late this evening and he felt better for a while, but is back now to feeling weird.

We have been doing a lot of other stuff, so don't know if that has run him down...it did not seem to at the time, but maybe it all caught up with him.  It is just so hard to see him feel like this.   And very hard for me to blog and do anything normal...but I keep making myself. 

Can you believe this?

Who would believe that 6 months ago he was laying in neuro-intensive care...and that he could not move his right arm/hand, right leg/foot?  I get so full of emotions when I actually think about it all. 

Thankful Thursday

It is Thankful Thursday over at Michelle's....I want to join in before the day is over.

I am thankful for a few minutes to make this block.

More than that, I am thankful for the past few days.  Roger's blood pressure has been doing pretty good, and he has had three good days in a row.  He is 'playing' with a project down in the basement as I type this.

The word 'normal' speaks volumes

For a while this afternoon, from my point of view, things felt normal.  Normal is a big word now...there are times I don't think there is ever going to be even a new normal.  So many nights I get what I call the 'fearfuls.'  I don't know if I will ever take normal for granted...I learned just how easily and quickly life can take a turn.  And I get afraid of when it will happen again.  Cause even though Roger was not taken from me this time, I know that sooner or later, one of us will more than likely have to live without the other.

But for that while this afternoon, you would never have known the upheaval we have had.  We were both in the basement.  I had laundry going, and spent at least a couple hours with my one of my sewing machines and quilting.  And Roger was working on things in his area.  I am not sure what all he was doing, but I heard tools.  And he was content. 

He did say he would have to stop and think to remember how to do things.  And he still had trouble telling me things when he needed to name things.  Even with that, he felt more normal than he has in a long while.  Then, after we came up from down there, he grilled some pork steak...just so normal.

Through all this, he has not lost his sense of humor.  Sometimes it is a case of we either laugh or we cry, but a lot of times it is just his quick wit.  The other night we were watching Family Feud.  One of the questions that was ask of a hundred men, 'what is a word that you could use to describe a peach that you would also used to describe a woman.'

One of the answers given by the hundred men was'fuzzy.'  And the family guessed it...when it was actually one of the answers, Roger says, 'Well, who would say that...nobody would say that.' 

Then he started laughing and said, 'I guess they do, remember your brother used to say Why, Hell-o Fuzzy!  And he did...he was not actually calling someone Fuzzy though...it was sort of a light way of swearing...If he was looking for something and finally found it, he might say 'WHy, Hell-o Fuzzy!  Here it is'  or if he and Roger were working or discussing how to do something, it might be, 'well, Hell-o fuzzy, that won't work!'  It was not hello...it was Hell-o. 

This is probably not funny to anyone else...I have ask both my other brothers if they remember this and neither of them do...but Roger and I sure do. 

From the strip pits

First this bird...I am not sure what it was.  I know it was not a vulture, and if it was a hawk, it was a HUGE hawk, but by the same token, if it was a juvenile bald eagle, it was on the small side.  Also, the underneath side was not white like most hawks. I have a hard time zooming in and tracking with my little point & shoot camera.

This is way down at the end of a pond...I was surprised this photo turned out even this good...again, trying to zoom in and track the two swans was difficult.

 I managed this capture as these swans passed over right in front of us.

 There were several Canada Geese...this group was near us on the north side of the road.

This is the pond on the south side of the road...and this is showing just a small portion of the geese that were up on the bank.  I have never seen the quite like this before.  I have seen them in the fields near other ponds, though so guess it amounts to the same thing.
**********************
Roger's BP was fairly high again tonight.  I don't know why.  He had had a coughing spell right as I took it...I waited a couple minutes to take it and it was still 163/88.  In the hospital and rehab they wanted to keep the upper number 140 or below because of the fact that he had had the bleeds.  Again, I gave him a whole BP pill instead of the normal half a pill...it came down quickly tonight so maybe the whole pill was not needed.

************
I have told some of my blog friends of the things Roger is having to relearn but haven't shared them in detail on here.  Simple things we all take for granted.  Things like telling the time.  He can read a digital watch, though sometimes numbers pop out of his mouth that are not what he means to say.    It is almost as if he just has to say something...but I can say not it isn't 3:00...and he will look again and say, oh, it is 1:00.

As for a clock with a dial...he is having to learn to tell time all over that way.  But is really improving with that.  As long as I don't ask him to do too many times in a short period. 

But don't ask him what year it is...he seldom gets that right.  

He cannot just sit down and read...he has to spell out words and then can usually tell you what they are.   But what is funny, a lot of times he can read longer words.  

He can write words a lot easier than he can print them, though he still has some trouble with a few letters in writing.  But nothing like when he prints.  And I have him print the alphabet most days. 

I won't put it all in this one post, but will continue to tell some of the things he deals with as time goes on.

Update

I have tried to think how to give an update and give a true picture of how things stand and it is hard to do.

First, Roger was moved from the Intensive Care Unit to a regular room on Monday, August 15...he stayed in that room until Friday, the 19th of that same week.  He was then transferred to a hospital in Terre Haute to their rehab facility..

He has improved a lot in some areas, but in others not as much.  He has sat up on the side of the bed by himself.  He has stood up at the sink under his own steam.  Day before yesterday was a great day...the therapist had him up and walking.  Not a lot, but sure a lot more than he has been doing.  So much more than I even dared hope for.

But say you ask him what a plate is, or what a ball is, he could not just name it for the life of him.  But say you said "pass me the salt and _______" he just might say pepper.  He gets really down on himself.  He has trouble concentrating and following instructions.

Also, yesterday the occupational therapist did some testing of his vision.  He seems unable to see with his right eye, plus the right side of his left eye is impaired also.

Today they had him walk 100 ft.  A therapist held to each arm while he walked.  They were to help him with balance plus just to help.  But he did make...they are pleased with how he is coming along in physical therapy.

This is not much of an update but it at least gives you an idea of what is going on.  All the prayers and well wishes are greatly appreciated.

About Roger....how quickly life can change...

The above photo was taken July 25th.

Today Roger is spending his 11th day in Neuro-critical care unit at a hospital in Indianapolis.  He had a mini-stroke on the night of July 28th.  He was in the hospital over-night and till the next evening.  They did a cat scan, EKG, did scans of his carotid artery and seen nothing.  They gave him an additional blood pressure medicine and Plavix.

August 2nd he had mowed the yard and did a few things around here, had a bite of supper, laid back in his recliner to snooze, I thought.  Then got up and went in the other room.  When he did not come back, I went to check on him and he was laying in bed and said his eyes hurt.  I am skipping parts, but ended up taking him to the emergency room within a few minutes.  I had them help me get him in and they told me to go to the ER waiting room till they called me back.

I no more than got the car parked and got inside and set down and they called me back to sign stuff, said it was serious and they were life-lining him to Indianapolis.  They would explain to me in the ER room...she just needed my signature to get things started.  He had a brain bleed/hemorrhage.  They intubated him in case he needed it on the way there.  They said it was easier to do there than in the helicopter.

It is soo long to go into details  but will give a few details...it took two or three days to get the bleeding stopped.  He has had the breathing tube out for a few days now, and the feeding tube has been out a couple days.  He could move his left arm and leg all along, though for a day or so, not on command.  His right arm/hand and leg/foot did nothing for days.  But he is moving his right arm more and more.  And he moved his right foot/leg on command yesterday during therapy.

If they can get his blood pressure under control with oral meds, he will be moved to his own room.  And from there should only be days till he goes somewhere for rehab.  But they have been working on the blood pressure for days.  He does not sleep in the ICU room...has went for at least 3 days with only a short nap here and there. 

I may not respond to comments, but please keep him in your prayers.  I am so thankful for family, faithful friends, and blog buddies.  People he worked with and 'played' with have stood by him/us in this time of need, also.  I have no words to express my gratitude.

A small project

My husbands buddy bought this knife at a junk shop....it had no handles. He got it for $3 and brought it over to Roger to show him....and Roger offered to put the handles (the part that is white) on....and this is the result.
They are made from the bone of a cow...I forget where he got it but think one of his buddies gave it to him. We think it turned out quite well.
*********************
I have not been tell all that is going on, now wish I had or wish I had at least been writing in my journal. Over a week ago, my husband had this big splotch of stuff come up on his leg...not sure if it came up before he scratched it or if scratching caused it. He calls it psoriasis but I am not sure what it was.

It was not getting any better, so he went to the doctor last Friday...she put him on antibiotics to help prevent infections, and gave him one medicine to take orally to help give him relief from itching as well as a creme.

I am here to tell you, it has gradually gotten worse and worse...his whole body is broken out...his feet and legs have been swelling. The big splotch is gone, but now it is raised bumps and some blisters just everywhere.

So we went back to the doctor today...she could not believe the difference....just really couldn't believe what he looked like now. Told him to stop the antibiotic immediately, gave him a shot of cortisone, lasix for water retention, plus another one....and she wanted blood to test his liver functions since he has a history of problems with it.

We had to wait to have the blood drawn, so was sent back to the waiting room...soon as we sat down he said he felt like he was going to pass out...and I was trying to tell him to bend over and put his head between his knees but he passed out before I could even get it said....

I was trying to get him to wake up and one of the staff yelled for Doc and he came, they got him in the floor and raised his legs, and he came too in just a second...and his blood pressure went to normal and his pupils started reacting normal....

I am here to tell you I have had enough excitement to last a lifetime...just not a fun way to spend the day...he is now trying to rest some since he did not sleep at all last night.