Secrets and Rocher: A Delilah Smythe Debacle

 Desperate for some good publicity after the "Marmalised Marmalades" BBC swearing scandal in 1988, diabolical deviant, Delilah Smythe, approached equally desperate (and weak-willed) Royal, Prince Edward, with a "fool-proof" idea: an It's A Royal Knockout rip-off substituting the mid-ranking royals with celebrity chefs.  She'd even roped in Jane Asher, the Swedish Chef and Martha Stewart as team leaders.

A Royal Rocher wrapper??

 However, at a royal charity dinner, the Queen, in no uncertain terms, put the kybosh on Edward's involvement, and without Edward, Delilah's idea was doomed.  As fate would have it, while on her way to pilfer some cutlery during the dinner, Delilah just happened to overhear something she shouldn't when she stooped to pick up a discarded Rocher wrapper near to a hushed conversation between Michele Ferrero, philanthropist and owner of Ferrero SpA, and Dame Christopher Biggins, Official Pantomime Dame of Great Britain and the Commonwealth realms.

Life on the Embankment (with Bonus Beach Scenes!)

In a "Where's Waldo?" type affair, can you spot the deer and three galliformes in this photo?

 We're revisiting the embankment behind Hexenhäusli Device as, since the last time it featured here, I managed to snap some of its visitors and passers through.
 Above and to the right, from 1st May, are embankment regulars: a muntjac deer, the big, bronze cock pheasant, and the pair of partridges (of the red-legged variety).

 From the 30th April (below) is a juvenile sparrowhawk that I just managed to snap as it took off from its perch.

Yikes!

Infomaniac Garden Photos Event Announcement

This is a public service announcement!

The House of

I N F O M A N I A C

has announced a change of venue for its

 

10th Anniversary Garden Photos Event

And that venue is right here on this very blog!

 To say that I am honoured and delighted would be an understatement.  That The Very Mistress chose me to be the host for this prestigious event-

Some choice.  No one else volunteered!

Shhhhhhhhhhh!  That's neither here nor there.

Yes, let him have his moment.

What?  Why are you agreeing?

 When you lot have quite finished?!  Now.  Where was I?
 Oh, yes: this prestigious event.  Um...  Line?

You were going to say something about how grateful you were that
The Very Mistress couldn't be bothered to get off her quince an-

 I most certainly was not! Don't listen him, Very Mistress!  He's been afternoon drinking.  Again...

So have you!

 Yes, but it affects you more because you're smaller.  Besides, I'm only on our second glass...

 Oh, for christ's sakes...  Let's have some Q&As and photos while those two bicker amongst themselves:

Some sort of clematis on the paysho*

What does this mean?  What's going on?  Where am I?

Art Trek: Into The Arboretum...

 It's getting near to the end of the month, and with no other post even remotely near finished, I am going to subject you all to Star Trek art!  Although, hopefully this time, you might not skim through hurriedly as it's not overly Star Trekky.
 Oh, and my pikhmit/pixmit cards won last month's Trek BBS Art Challenge, which meant that I got to choose the theme for this month's challenge:

It is Spring!*  Warmer weather and longer days bring new growth, spring flowers, and the promise of brighter days ahead.  Inspired by a weekend spent out in the garden, the final episode of ST: Picard, and recent Trek art by Donny, ashefivekay, and Dryson, I've decided on a floral theme for this month's art challenge.

I'd love to see your interpretations of flowers & plants in Trek, whether it be a look inside a starship's arboretum, the plantlife of a Trek race's homeworld, a Kressari botanical cruiser, a bunch of flowers given by one crewman to another, or something else.  Whatever it is, make it bright and colourful!

* In the northern hemisphere, at least...

 Right.  On with the show:

Seedlings

Eucomis comosa "Sparkling Burgandy" seedlings
from seeds sown a couple of weeks ago.
Full size plants last seen here.

 There are no clouds in the sky.  Not one!  Nary a wisp nor contrail.  What is one to do on a sunny day like this?
 Well, I have spent some of it on the allotment clearing up and sorting out after well-meaning brothers-in-law weed-killed most of my foxgloves (!!!) and dug up the rest (@!#*!!) to plant shitting old potatoes.
 Anyway, before we get to the allotment photos - because of course there are allotment photos - the other day I remembered about all those seeds I collected from East Ruston Old Vicarage Gardens back in September: they were still wrapped up in black paper on my book shelf!  Kicking myself for forgetting about them, I hurriedly sowed them.  Yesterday I noticed the first little sprouts pushing through the compost, so here are photos to prove it, along with some of previously sown seeds which are now seedlings/plants.

Crinum (or the like) sown around the end of 2019

Embankment

 Some time back - not that long ago, actually - I promised Hound a gander at my embankment (because he likes that sort of thing, apparently).
 Well, after a week or two of fannying around with the press releases being very busy and important actually, may I present my rather overgrown embankment (which Hound probably won't actually like because it is mostly green) - along with some photos of Hexenhäusli Device's grounds and surrounding environs.
 Oh, and some bluebells.

::

  Oh, but first - for those not in the know - the embankment is part of the old Norfolk and Suffolk Joint Railway that ran from 1906 to 1953.  The track and most associated gubbins have long been removed, so all that's left around here are the embankments & cuttings, a couple of piles of bricks that used to be bridges (one still is), and Overstrand station (which is now someone's home).
 So, anyway, first up is a photo of Hexenhäusli Device's grounds from just over a year ago (a month after we moved in) showing the embankment behind the fence:

 And here are four photos from this month with the embankment in the background.  As you can see, preparations are underway for the 10th Annual Garden Photos Event which - shock horror! - is almost certainly not going to be hosted by The Very Mistress this year!  If you fancy yourself as Hostess with the Mostess, pop over to The Very Mistress's and declare your interest to host this illustrious event.

A Write Panic Reference: Things on Chairs

 This post is an accompaniment to the A Write Panic blog post, Things on Chairs (which was gathered together and written by me).  It's just a little reference list of the items that feature at the end of my part of the story.
 If you haven't already done so, I urge you to go and give A Write Panic a read.  It is a collaborative blog from the mind of Ms Scarlet (she also set it up and organised it, too!) which features ten talented and enthusiastic bloggers - oh, and me.
 There are no spoilers in this post, so the story won't be ruined if you read this first.  Particularly as these objects are what I imagined were the "things on chairs" at the end of my latest A Write Panic post, but as I didn't describe them with any definition (well, except for the fondant fancy and the Ferrero Rocher), someone else may depict them in a different way.

The spindle shaped vial containing that blue potion, is none other than the Elixir of Life as featured in the film Death Becomes Her.

[image missing]  Unfortunately, I can't show you the pink fondant fancy as it got et.
(I can tell you, however, that it wasn't a Mr Kipling cake, otherwise it would have been a French Fancy)

The towel - a spare on loan from the Beeblebrox Estate - a very useful object (and 100% Egyptian cotton, no less).

The "old clay pot with mould growing inside it" is Daughter of the Fifth House, Lwaxana Troi's, Sacred Chalice of Rixx.  I'm sure the Holy Rings of Betazed were on another chair further down the corridor...

The collection of sea glass is, of course, the glass island that featured at Ms Scarlet's.

The Bottle of Greed is another one of Ms Scarlet's creations, featured here.

The universe cannot be photographed convincingly, so may I direct you to Ms Scarlet's Portrait of a Universe, instead.  A far more comprehensible and erudite interpretation.

I couldn't get a good photo of the Ferrero Rocher because it was so awesomely perfect that Camera could only manage to capture the golden glare from it's exquisite foil wrapper.

And as for the books:

The Days Are Just Packed, a Calvin and Hobbes collection by Bill Watterson, featured here.

Fucked-up Fondues, by that spiteful cow Delilah Smythe, featured here.

neue mobel 6, by Gerd Hatje, featured at Mago's, here.

The Visitors, by Sally Beauman, featured at Ms Scarlet's, here.

::

Read the continuing story of A Write Panic here.

It's A Faaaake! Not The Art Of Star Trek - Brighter Future

 I've been fascinated with Romulan pixmit cards (or pikhmit, according to the Starfleet Museum on Star Trek: The Cruise) ever since they first appeared in Star Trek: Picard. The urge to make a set has been almost over-powering, but life (and laziness) kept finding ways of thwarting me, so I only got as far as cataloguing the cards seen so far.
 That these pixmit/pikhmit cards could be a Romulan take on tarot cards is a good enough reason to finally create some for this month's art challenge (as set by February's winner):

[T]he theme [is] "Looking Forward". Whether it's to the future, to better times, to newer bigger and better starship designs, just something in the Trek universe with an eye toward looking forward to a brighter and better future.

(As with many things on the internet, click the photos to embigulate)

 After settling on a size (9cm each side), I cut out ten triangles from a piece of china coloured card (too thin for proper pixmit but I didn't have any thicker mounting board-like card), and had a play around with pen and ink using the leftover card.  I used a gold metallic marker for the border, dark blue fineliner for the curlicues, and a gold fineliner for the outer text border.  The curlicues were far too big on the trial card, but I just wanted to see if I could do them relatively quickly/easily.  And the border text was too yellow so I had to walk into town to buy a different, darker gold pen.

Earworms

 No.  Not that sort of earworm!

 The earworms that I wish to bring to your attention are far less unpleasant.  You might even find them to be delightful.  If not, you can always go back to that Ceti eel slithering into Chekov's ear...

 First up, a couple of tracks from Perfume Genius' forthcoming album: "On The Floor" and "Describe" - I can't get enough of these two!  I play "On The Floor" over and over and over, then break it up with "Describe" before going back.  The videos are quite captivating, too.  (It was Mitzi who brought Perfume Genius to my attention back here)

Dangerous Crustations

 A suspicious looking package arrived for me yesterday.  It wasn't delivered by my hot, surly postman either.  Rather, it must have been delivered to my doorstep at some point during the night, as it was loitering (possibly with intent) near my globe topiaried potted box (Buxus) when I opened the door first thing in the morning.
 Rectangular, and wrapped (somewhat sloppily, it has to be said) in brown paper, the package was unadorned with postage stamps, a name or address.  Instead, in thin black ink scratched across the lower right corner was inscribed: "To, The Witch".  There were no other markings except for a couple of greasy finger and thumb prints, one of which had a rime of some yellowing creamy substance (I'm hoping it was only cream) edged with a dark red - almost black - sticky material (some sort of jam, maybe?).
 Anyway, I reluctantly brought it inside and put it with three unopened envelopes, assuming it too was intended to be opened on Sunday.

 This morning dawned, like many, many others before it and, after a cup of coffee and a jelly baby or twelve, I opened the package.  These are the items that were inside:

Deer, oh deer...

 Sticking with the wildlife theme (see previous post), this is what I saw when I looked out of my study window at quarter to seven this morning: a couple of roe deer.
 They ambled about, inspecting the front gardens of each house - and the bins! - before wandering off towards the green space at the end of the road.  Then, three quarters of an hour later, when I left the house, they were loitering on the pavement a couple of doors down!

Big Bronze Cock

"A big, bronze cock? Where?!?"

 Ha! Made you look!

 Yes, as you no doubt suspect, I shan't be showing off that sort of cock (I shall leave that to Peenee, Maddie or The Very Mistress).  Rather, a far more showy example in bronze and red and blue that is a regular visitor to the gardens of Hexenhäusli Device.  But, before we get to him, here are some new visitors from this morning: a pair of red-legged partridges.