A lovely day today is re-activating me. Terry and I were in a slump, and Mary came over and rescued us. She and Terry fixed steak and potatoes and green beans and a salad. In the evening we watched Rachel Maddow and a couple of Star Trek episodes and then slept well.
We are at one of those nodal points where I have to make adjustments. I am sicker than I was, and that is visible to others and affects how they react to me. I did work things out with the dentist and got my teeth cleaned,etc. so that's good. The oncology nurse, Anne, helped with that, also seeing to it that I was able to refill my hydrocodone prescription. I never increase the amount I take and am in a stable relationship with it.
What I have to work out with the oncologist, whom I will be seeing on Monday, is how well the maintenance chemo is working and what alternative options there may be. My whole attitude would be different if I were younger and had more of a chance of a cure, so any big efforts would have to be weighed against leaving my support system here.
The other night we went to an amusing local theater production of "Shout," a retro look at the 60s and 70s in swinging London. In the theater lobby an acquaintance grabbed me by the arm and said, WHY are you in Hilo? Why aren't you in Seattle?
She told me, as I knew, that the University of Washington has a well known cancer center. I'm not trying to block her out, but I am wondering if what was good for her, the treatment she got there that enabled her to survive a breast cancer, diagnosed in the early 90s, when she would have been in her 50s, would be of use to me, a 78 year old woman with lung cancer and heart trouble. I would be well set up in Seattle. We own a comfortable and convenient condo in Seattle, and both of our daughters live there, too.
So I am bringing these matters to my oncologist. He is a pessimist, and really, so am I. I am doing way better than he thought I would, but my condition bears no resemblance at all to being well. That is never a status I will regain. So whatever life prolonging or curative measures available have got to be damn good for me to want to umdergo them.
Blackie the cat is a regular outdoor boy now. What a relief. He was tearing up the curtains, jumping all over the counter, knocking over and breaking things; now he comes in exhausted and snoozes on his platform. He has not caught any vermin yet, but we just had our house and the house next door tented, so there may be nothing to catch right now. The neighbor cat, Sayeed, got trapped in the house next door and was missing for two days. He had gone into the house right after the tent was removed, and was locked in. No damage to him, luckily.
Update: I wrote the above two days ago and have now seen the oncologist. He's taking me off the "maintenance" chemo drug, which I am not tolerating well. In particular it knocks my appetite, and I am losing weight, which is something I can't afford. After a rest from therapy of about a month he will put me on low doses of the platinum based chemo, which has worked so effectively against the tumors. I'm also getting a CT scan to see how things are going. I won't have to travel for that.
We finally found a good yard service! Halleluya!
And the bad guys are starting the feel the pain. That is a real moral booster!
I hope all is going well with you, my readers!
