Once again it is that time of year when I trot on down to the local health centre to join in the old fart’s parade at the annual flu jab ‘jamboree’.

OK, so it’s ‘free’ on the NHS to all old codgers like me, but it only costs nine quid (about $13.50) at Sainsbury’s pharmacy and I’m sure that there is far less hassle there.

Of course the idea is that when we old gits turn up at the clinic, the nurse giving us our ‘shots’ can check our medical records on their computer system to see that the condition of our health is being correctly monitored.

“I see that you have not had your blood pressure checked lately” says the nurse.

I explain that I check my own blood pressure every few days and send the readings to my GP every three months or so. She looks at me as if she has never heard of such a system, and then tells me that I have not had my six monthly blood tests since February. I explained that I had the last one in September. I suggest that something is wrong with the system. She ignores me and sticks the needle in my arm. I can’t be bothered to argue with her as it is obvious that she can’t wait to stab the next silly old sod who comes through the door, and so I leave the treatment room.

On the way out of the building I noticed a very large red illuminated sign. It flashed a message which read … “PLEASE BEAR WITH US AS WE HAVE RECENTLY INSTALLED …

… A NEW COMPUTER SYSTEM !

I have just received an email from a florist reminding me that Sunday is ‘Grandparents’ Day’.

This is a ‘new one’ on me ! … and, so wearing my grumpy old git’s hat I can only guess that it is yet another ‘import’ from that great con the consumer market across the Atlantic Ocean.

We will soon have ‘Trick or Treat’, the US version of Halloween, thrust upon us. My local branch of Sainsbury’s is already stacked out with pumpkins  !

Mothers’ Day, once Mothering Sunday. Valentine’s Day, once The Feast of Saint Valentine. Fathers’ Day, described as .. “a second Christmas for all the men’s gift-oriented industries.” are, like the modern wedding ‘industry’, far removed from the simple traditions of my young days.

Now, I’m sorry to say that many of our ‘traditions’ have been hijacked by greedy commercial organisations who ‘cash in’ on people’s sentimentality.

I wonder what will ‘cross the pond’ next ? … Well with all the nutters we now have wandering around, probably (and I’m not making this up) …

… National Fruitcake Day !

I see that obnoxious oaf of a prince, ‘Air Miles Andy’, is in the news again for doing what this freeloader does best: being a pompous petulant prat !

It is reported that he ‘made his thoughts plain’ (I bet he did) during a ‘highly-charged confrontation’ with lowly peasant coppers who challenged him in his mum’s back yard, and although reports of what happened vary, a royal lacky said that  .. “He was incredibly, incredibly angry. It was very much a case of guns being pointed at him and “Halt ! who goes there ?”.

It is obvious from this parasite prince’s usual arrogant behaviour that he has never heard of “Noblesse oblige”, so what a pity it was that the officers concerned didn’t do us all a favour by shooting first and …

… asking questions later !