Scorpio New Moon Observations

I'm feeling quite contemplative today. I blame the Scorpio new moon. It's good for all the writing I want to do though. I made a great start last night and met the quota I had set for myself. It's all very crude though and I know it would need massive editing if I were to take it any further or expose it to another.

Secrets are being told. I have heard a couple these last few days. Surprising secrets, not the ones I've been avoiding.

I have to get a haircut. I had it cut only 5 weeks ago. The grey is more obvious so that needs attending to also! Short hair saves time on a daily basis, but I find I have to go to the hairdressers regularly. I am testing the theory that if you get your hair cut before the new moon, it grows slower. When I wanted to grow my hair long, I would get it cut as soon as possible after the new moon. I know how busy the next few weeks could be, so I am doing it now.

Halloween Reflections

I like the honoring the dead idea, and have lit some candles tonight to remember mine. There have been small interesting signs that have made me smile and reflect.

I know it's not really seasonally appropriate in Australia. My son is gathering his friends and they are having a bit of a small night here. It has the feel of a spring carnival though, as they dress up, laugh and eat together.

I explored the origins of Halloween in my classes today. The year 7 novel 'Remote Man' makes some references to the way it's celebrated in the US.

We shared with each other what we find scary. The year 9s discussed scary stories written by well known authors, and the retelling in other media of scary stories. The favourite example was "The Simpsons" doing Poe's 'Raven'. My favourite of course is Kate Bush's 'Wuthering Heights', none of my students had heard of it!

The students wrote some of their own scary stories and read them very well to the class. There were some treasures. I was delighted that they heeded my comment that violence and destruction did not necessarily make scary. They even went sparingly on the gore.

Halloween elsewhere :

Parent Sense on Halloween : Imaginif

Dia de los Muertos, All Saints Day, and Halloween 2007: Aquarius Papers

Halloween? I don't think so! This is Australia right?:Life in the Country

Trick or Treating: Do you let your kids beg for lollies?: Red Sultana

I Just Can't Seem to Get Halloween Right: Blogpond

Hope is Free

My son went on a camp once with a Christian youth group and came back with a t-shirt screen printed with "Hope is Free". It has stuck in my mind. I wasn't really keen on him going on that camp, but the t-shirt made it all ok. He was young and I didn't want him to get 'cult - ed' at a tender age! I had nothing to worry about it turns out.

I really like that saying, and at times lately, it is becoming a mantra. If you need it, take it on.

'Rose by any other name' by Maureen McCarthy

Maureen McCarthy read aloud the beginning of this novel to us at the Melbourne Writers Festival and I was hooked. I have devoured this book in a day. I could no longer resist it sitting in that pile next to my bed.

Remembering Young Adulthood
'Rose by any other name' is a novel I would recommend to all older teenagers about how life can get in the way of your plans and sidetrack you. I loved it as I remembered my first year out of school and how I went in every direction other than the clear and planned path. Sometimes the emotional upsets in our life drive us to seek escape from all the good and nurturing things in our life. They build a cranky outer shell that disguises who we really are from both the world and ourselves.

Unconditional Families
I loved this novel as a mother and a daughter. That tension between the mother and daughter that is so prevalent in my own mother/daughter and daughter/mother interactions. It was so realistic and funny and sad. Maureen McCarthy captures beautifully the pleasures and trails of belonging to a close family.

Rants
Sprinkled throughout the novel are rants about the things Rose hates, that she has published in a music magazine. My favourite:

"Don'tch just hate it... when you find out the all your dirty secrets are public knowledge? You go around thinking your life is private, that no one knows your business. Well, I'm here to tell you, you millions of multi-talented, meat-eating, hoodwinked, rock-loving Saucers, that not only do the banks, ASIO, the tax department and the credit companies have all your details on file, more than likely your family knows a lot more about your every move than you do. Yep,that's right! Face it! Your mother reads your diary. Your siblings trawl through your emails. Your friends, hungry for contact with warm-blooded creatures after a day in front of the screen, spread your private confidences like preachers at a religious rally. Don't blame them. Privacy is dead. Get used to it!......"

(pg 266)

And what a relief it is to have all our darkest guilty secrets and pains exposed and accepted. You try to save those close to you from the pain you experience, yet it is the pain of separation from them that is the real sin.

I really adored this novel. It contains so much emotionally; from the freedom and bliss of surfing, the joys of shared music taste, the intimacy of best girlfriends and sisters, the pain of betrayal, the vulnerability of being in love, the deep pain and anger of our most important people falling to human status, the discovery of loving the wrong person to the myriad of interactions that occur in relationships. It is a full and juicy novel.

Gone With the Wind

Helping my son with homework....
I must confess I have never helped my kids much with their homework. I don't even check if they have done it. I believe it's their homework, not mine. This weekend was an exception as Tom had to watch 'Gone With the Wind'. I was delighted to get the movie and Andy, Tom and I watched it together. It was Tom's first viewing so Andy and I provided some explanations for him about what was going on in it. There is some great information on the web about 'Gone With the Wind'. I loved the novel too. I haven't read the sequel though 'Scarlett'. I think I might though.
A few surprises...
I was surprises by the things I had to explain, such as the concept of a 'ruined' woman who had gone unchaperoned and being 'in mourning' by wearing black. I guess I take for granted that those behaviours have disappeared.
My First Viewing
I remember the first time I went to see 'Gone With the Wind' with my mum, both grandmothers and Auntie Pat. It was probably my first of many nights out with the girls! I loved it and loved Scarlett. She was such a spirited woman. I have often used her line 'I won't think about that now. I'll think about it tomorrow.'

Father's Day

I adore my dad. I have just returned from spending time with him. I get to see him quite a bit luckily. He is a very good man and I know I am blessed to have him in my life.

He has retired and is loving it. I'm pleased he has this outlook as I have seen people retire and be miserable. He worked so hard during his life. He would be gone by 6.00 and return after 6.00 each night. He had a sand quarry and was in partnership with my pa. He told us that they never had an argument whilst they were in business for over 30 years.

It's hard to buy for my dad as he never suggests anything and always says he wants for nothing. He is not a drinking, golf playing, fishing kind of dad. He doesn't have any interests other than his wife and family. He takes photo's and has all the old family photo's. He already has all the equipment for this hobby. He buys what he wants, when he wants it.

Still, I found a PC Chess tournament game. I was never able to beat him at chess, not that I am much of a player. I hope this will provide a challenge and I am also trying to get him to use his computer more.

He has never had to use a computer for work, so his usage has been limited to checking bank statements online. He wants to scan all the old photo's he has onto disk and fix some of them. He has boxes and boxes of great photos. It will be a great resource for the family.

This is one of my favourite photo's in the world. It is from left to right, my great grandfather, grandfather, dad and godfather, Uncle Jack. Dad is the only surviving member of this hardworking team. This photo was taken before I was born and we lived on the farm near Yarragon.

Enid Blyton Characters Reappear

It's interesting to me that I was just thinking about all the old Enid Blyton books I loved to read when I was a kid and in the mornings papers was this story: Famous Five Set to Find Fame. Made me feel almost magical.
I read the 'Secret Seven' series, the 'Famous Five' of course, but loved the 'Faraway Tree' trilogy and 'Wishing Chair' set more I think. My favourite of all the many though would have to be 'The Naughtiest Girl' books. I am sure I only read 2 or 3 of them, yet it appears there are 8 on this site.
If you want to learn more about Enid Blyton, The Enid Blyton Society website is absolutely a must read. It's quite amazing to see the list of writing, there are 100s of books. When I look through the list I see many other familiar books that I read as a child.

Lost and Found Women

While I was cooking dinner this evening, the phone rang. I nearly didn't answer it, expecting a telemarketer! I couldn't resist. It was my long lost friend Ronece. I was speechless with delight, for about two seconds. We have just enjoyed a long chat on the phone, catching up on over 5 years that we haven't been in touch. Our children have grown, my career has changed, I live in a different town, but we picked up as though it were back in the day when we chatted at least every other day.
Great Women Friends
When I got off the phone, I was on it for a couple of hours, I reflected on how blessed I have been to have such awesome women friends. I don't really mention them on my blog much because I feel it would be invading their privacy somehow. I want to mention them tonight though because I appreciate them all.
Old Friends
Some have been around for a long time, like Jane who I met when we were 6 years old. Wilma has been around for a long while also. I met her in my first year at Monash Gippsland. Neither of us finished our degrees at that time, but we did go on to have a business or two together in soft furnishings and we're still in touch. She introduced me to Dallis and Shirley and many other great friends.
New Friends
Rhonda is like a twin soul. We were born on the same day, yet a year apart. We have the same middle name! We work together and see each other every day. It's such fun! She is currently injured and at home for the week, but I will be popping in to see her each day. She was such a treasure to me over the past hard weeks with the flu and the loss of pa. We share our daily ups and downs and amazingly are often feeling exactly the same way about all kinds of things.
Work Friends
Having had over 20 jobs since I left school, I have enjoyed some great friendships with people I've worked with Maureen, Jenny, Sonia and Wilma have been fabulous mentors as well as friends. I catch up with them all, although not as often as before and enjoy their company. I have learnt so much from each of them. I currently have a great bunch of women I work with. Too many to name! It's another thing I really value about my job.
Great Friends I rarely see
I was so close with Rene when I lived in Harkaway. She is a beautiful and amazing woman who brought such a delicious presence to my life. We had great times and excursions with our kids and her large and wonderful family provided a haven for me when I was missing mine.
I had a great road trip with Lisa to Queensland and her gentle and generous nature tolerated me through the journey.
Lost Friends but not forgotten Friends
I learnt heaps from Bronwyn and she supported me through some painful growth times in my life.
I had some great friends at school. Kim was one I have never caught up with again, but would love to hear from. We had some times together!

Thanks And Sorry
Writing a post like this worries me as there are probably people I am leaving out. Sorry if I have. I feel immensely blessed by the all the great women I've had and have as friends. Bronwyn once said to me that your friends are your family of choice. I liked that and am happy with my choices.
I also have a lot of great male friends, but tonight it's about the girls.

With Hindsight 30 was......

Truthfully
Ghastly for me. However, to be completely honest, I'd made rather a mess of my life by then and it was possibly the best thing that ever happened to me in a nasty yet useful way. It's over 10 years ago now, so with that kind of space from it, I can see the benefits.


Karen Cheng asks about turning 30 in her post The Big Three Oh- Women Turning 30 - I'm glad you asked Karen!


Picture This
On my 30th birthday, as the sun was coming up, I was barefoot in a muddy field with an aching back and my precious babies sleeping in the backseat of my celica, whilst I cut not nearly enough asparagus to make it worthwhile. My once beautifully manicured hands were calloused and cut. There were rows of asparagus ahead of me to cut.


How did I get there?
I was separated and trying to raise two kids under 5. I'd been in decorating business with my friend and business partner. It was long hours and I felt I didn't have enough time for my kids. I hoped that by selling the business and taking casual jobs, I would get more time and have a more peaceful lifestyle.
It took a lot of convincing for the farmer to give me the job so I was too stubborn to leave after promising I wouldn't quit in the first week. I barely made a living and had help every day from fit, experienced blokes who would see me struggling and jump the fence and cut out my rows so I'd finish before the asparagus went off in the field.
I remember one day picking up my daughter from kinder and one of the mum's asked me if I'd been to Bali cause I had such a great tan. I rushed out to the car so I wouldn't blubber in public. It was a painful time.


Benefits of the Harsh Experience
I saw the most amazing sunrises and dragonflies. I made some good mates and for the first time learnt why labourers drink beer. It tastes damn good after hard work! It was a physical challenge.
I knew I was insane doing it so hard . I had a BA and lots of skills and it was one of those turning points that makes you get your act together. It took a while but I made progress to making a better life from that day on.

I still feel ...
In Karen's reflection she says she still feels like she is 24. Even when I turned 40 I still felt like a kid. I don't think age is about feeling a certain way. I did have expectations of having my act a lot more together when I was 30 than it was. I felt like a failure in so many ways and I didn't match up to my vision for 30. I started to feel that it was time to take my life a lot more seriously and that I had to stop fluffing around.


10 Years Later
Turning 40 was bliss in comparison. I not only felt pleased with my life but had the perspective of how painful it had been only 10 years ago to amplify my gratitude. I feel like I am now living the best years of my life. I know you can decide this at any time.

She's Leaving Home

Today we are taking the last of my daughters belongings to her new residence. She is moving to the city to go to Uni. She is a competent, independent young woman and I am immensely proud of her and confident that she will make a great life for herself and will be diligent and successful in her studies. I imagine she will have learning experiences about living away from home and I feel nervous and excited for her.
Most of all I will miss her. She is a fabulous daughter. I have adored her since the moment of her birth and this new letting go, just like the previous steps she has made into the world, I must admit make me long for the time when she was a toddler with wild curly hair and a trusting smile, asking plenty of questions, smiling a lot and taking great delight in everything around her. The tickles and cuddles are less frequent and the questions are harder to answer, even though they are more interesting now.

McNaughts Comet

Last night we saw the comet in the sky and it was a thrill. My son was away from home so I phoned him and via our mobile phones heard the joy in his voice when he spotted it as he and his friends had also rushed outside and searched the skies. It was great.
I remember when the kids were little I would wake them in the early hours of the morning to go outside and look for this or that heavenly body passing in the night skies. It was fun. I adore seeing a shooting star.
This picture on flickr (which I have not participated in at all, but must one day!)captures what we saw brilliantly. There are a pile of pictures on flickr here. Some of them are quite amazing and wonderful.
I got out my binoculars Andy gave me for Christmas last year, they are great and had a good look at it. It was fun. It was a wow moment.
Jonathon Cainer discusses the astrological significance of the comet in his 2007 The Year Ahead Article among other things.

Sunday Stumble

No, I didn't go out last night and have a big one and stumble in this morning.
Yesterday I went to a school reunion type function,which was more a work responsibility than something I wanted to attend, and a person from 20 years ago recognised me and was quite shocked to see that I am now a respectable human being. Quite funny really.
Anyway.....you have to see this site that I stumbled on with 'StumbleUpon' today called 'Lords of the Logistic', It is an awesome site that has photo's of people doing amazing things. I recommend it to you so you can consider it next time you think you don't have enough room in your car, or something like that!
Stumbleupon is really my favourite timewaster at present. The sites referred are often really excellent and I find it the best way to find random new things.

Museum Trip

I went to the museum on Tuesday, as I said a couple of posts ago. Here is my favourite couple of pictures. I love the red flying horse. I think it is a symbol for a petrol company or something, but it is too beautiful to be that. I think my Uncle Jack used to have a petrol station with the flying horse symbol too, so that could be another reason why I have such a fond feeling about it.

There was also this cute model 'Mr Whippy'. How real does this photo look though? But I swear the model is quite small.

I also loved the Windmills

Gado Gado

When I was a kid, I would have wonderful holidays with my Auntie Angela and Uncle Jack in Drouin East. They had 9 kids, although probably less for most of my memories as I was the same age as their eldest child. They were my godparents and were the epitome of godparents as I adored them and loved being in their company.
Uncle Jack was Dutch and had spent his childhood in Indonesia during the war and Angela had lots of exotic (to us) foods as a result of these influences.
I have a memory of a special meal we had of Gado Gado with Kerupuk or (crook cooks) as we called them. The large table was laden with this delicious food and we sat around the deep fryer counting as the hard colorful peices rose out into crunchy prawn crackers, as I know them now.
Last night for the first time, I made Gado Gado. We had a special visitor coming who was vegetarian, and Andy spent a lot of time in Indonesia when he was younger, so I felt it was appropriate. It was great and brought back wonderful memories for me also. I was quite relieved that he recognised it as I put it together mostly from memory.
I was amazed that I remembered and recognised all the ingredients when I went to the supermarket to find the parts. As it drew closer to putting it together I remembered the Internet and looked up the recipe and verified my memory. I was quite pleased by the whole experience.
I didn't use potato and substituted snow peas for beans but it was very yummy. For desert I resorted to nana's Jam Roly Poly, which I will save for another day.

My how Fiat's have Changed

The first car I bought for myself was a red Fiat 850
much against my father's wishes. From the moment we entered the car yard he tried to steer me away from the 'red sports car' as pictured above. It was a bargain I thought. He totally disagreed. I'm sad to say he was totally right about everything. The car was a huge expense and whilst I have fond memories of it, it really was not an ideal choice for me.

Beige

I have spent a bit of time this week looking at houses for sale. I like houses that are spacious and a bit different. There aren't too many around. I have always been willing to overlook many expensive problems for something in that category. Which is quite dangerous to my finances. It's lucky I have someone who is level headed with me this time.
A bit different, to me, is not paint colour or extreme laminex, but structual difference. I like homes that have been built to incorporate the environment outside or with designs that take into account views or weather. I like houses that are not the same as every other house in the streets. I like streets with individual houses and no twins in sight.
There are a lot of little houses with renovations done that are fabulous and others that are too extreme and appear out of character for the house. I am growing to prefer the beige that Stan our interior decorator when we were in 'Unique Furnishings' always recommended with a laugh. Reminds me of the 'beige joke' told at my wedding.

Henna Powder, reading and lack of chocolate...

I have bought some henna powder. I remember back in the early nineties I used henna to color my hair. It wasn't grey then so I wonder how it will go. I know, all this obsession with hair is so unlike me. I wonder if the moon is in Leo or something, thus affecting my hair concern.
I have been continuing to enjoy my reading and have a pile of books that are distracting me from corrections. I really do find reading an effective way to cut off from stress. I love it.
I have ran out of chocolate tonight. I usually have a stash somewhere. The only chocolate in the house is Andy's dark chocolate Bilby that he has hoarded since Easter. I want to eat it .... it might go off!! I won't though because I respect others chocolate boundaries. I mean I couldn't very well scoff the bilby down and then expect that my own stashes would remain safe. I mean it is a fragile trust we all have with our individual pockets of chocolate.

Stroll through Morwell

Yesterday I had to go to Bunnings to get some more tiles for my mosaic. I have nearly finished putting all the tiles on and I am pleased about this. Andy suggested we go for a walk. I haven't been exercising much lately so I agreed it would be good. We left from Mid Valley and walked along a drain or a creek, under bridges and through really lovely groups of trees. It was a really pretty view of Morwell and it dispelled some of the impressions I have of Morwell.
I lived in Morwell in the mid eighties. I shared a house with friends close to the town centre. It was when Morwell was less abandoned and I enjoyed my time there.
Unfortunately the battery on my digital camera was flat or I would have taken more photo's. I had to use my phone camera. There were some really tranquil and pleasant pockets along the walk. It reminds me of the book I love by Thomas Moore "The Re-Enchantment of Everyday Life". In the book he talks about little corners of the world that are magical and special and good for your soul. I think that walk was good for my soul and I don't know why I so often resist things, which are good for me.

I also took this photo, of some mushrooms growing. I don't know if you can see them properly. They were the edible mushrooms not the magic ones! I remember around this time of the year going out into the paddocks around Drouin East near my Auntie Angela's house and coming back with buckets of mushrooms. I really enjoyed it. You don't really hear of kids going mushrooming much now. I wonder why?

Hump Day

Wednesday is meant to be hump day apparently. You get over Wednesday and then the rest of the week is downhill. So the theory goes. When Tuesday feels like Wednesday though, like mine did yesterday I feel as though it should be over already!
Last night when I looked up the link for Harkaway Primary, I sent off an email to Mr Hess the principal, who is still the principal, to thank him for the great memories we have of our time at that school. It seems it has not lost it's small family friendly feel because tonight I got an email back along with photo's and an invite to call in next time we're passing through. It was a sweet spot in a full on day.
Today has just been busy and annoying mostly. Lots of tempers are fraying out and about and mine is no exception. I feel tired and verging on unwell, but I know this will pass and I intend to have an early night to be sure.

Motorbike Ride

Today I went on the back of the bike with Andy. I haven't been on the back with Andy before. It was a thrill for me. We went to the supermarket. My exciting trip to Safeway!
I have only ever been on the back of a motorbike twice before. The first time was with my friend Steve, and he was trying to scare me and he did. I am ashamed to say I lost my moccasins that's how scary it was. Yes, it is the part about wearing moccasins that shames me. My next ride was around Berwick with my friend John. That ride was at night and it was to the shop, around the block. It was a big bike and I trusted John. It was probably about 20 years later.
Anyway today was only a little ride, but it was fun. Andy's bike is a dirt/road bike so it is smaller and bouncier. I enjoyed it. I was walking around the supermarket with a big grin on my face. I am pretty scared of motorbikes though. I just didn't think too much about it today.