"Manning Up" or Wimping Out?

I have a review up at Pajama's Media on Kay Hymowitz's new book Manning Up: How the Rise of Women Has Turned Men into Boys:

Kay Hymowitz's new book wants the current generation of "child-men" to "man up." But maybe our society shouldn't have spent decades tearing them down.

You can read my review and comment here.

Thanks to all the readers who let me know about the WSJ article by Kay Hymowitz on her book Manning Up: How the Rise of Women Has Turned Men into Boys. The name of the article, "Where have the good men gone?" seems to indicate that there are no good men left, only boys who are confused Peter Pan wannabes living a freewheeling lifestyle much to the lament of women who need them to "man up" and serve their romantic and financial needs.

The video included to the side of the article shows the author talking to a WSJ reporter about the problem, never addressing the concerns of men, except to mention that they are confused about their roles in the new economy and society where they are seen as expendable family members. The article and interview seemed geared toward fixing the problem for women, not for men, who apparently have no voice in the matter. No wonder they turn to other more satisfying avenues such as video games, music, hobbies and partying --at least there they can find a way of life that fulfills some of their needs.

Mark Perry at Carpe Diem blog has three interesting charts on the federal budget (via Newsalert).

PJM Tatler: Not a stroke but a migraine.

Carrie L. Lukas at the Independent Women's Forum: "What's the Matter with Men and, More Importantly, Why IS So Much the Matter?"

Is "Manning up" the answer?

"I don't think so," I thought as I read an email about Kay Hymowitz's new book, Manning Up: How the Rise of Women Has Turned Men into Boys. The book has a foreword by Christina Hoff Sommers, the author of Who Stole Feminism? so I am hoping that it gives men a fair shake--though given the title, I have to wonder [Oops, just found out I was confused by the literature I received. Christina Hoff Sommers did not write the introduction to the book--she is giving the introduction at a luncheon for the book]. Here is the description from Amazon.com:

In Manning Up, Manhattan Institute fellow and City Journal contributing editor Kay Hymowitz argues that the gains of the feminist revolution have had a dramatic, unanticipated effect on the current generation of young men. Traditional roles of family man and provider have been turned upside down as “pre-adult” men, stuck between adolescence and “real” adulthood, find themselves lost in a world where women make more money, are more educated, and are less likely to want to settle down and build a family. Their old scripts are gone, and young men find themselves adrift. Unlike women, they have no biological clock telling them it’s time to grow up. Hymowitz argues that it’s time for these young men to “man up.”

Okay, I haven't read the book--it just came out, but I am hoping that she is not blaming the problem on men and telling them to "man up" by giving women the marriage and family they want while putting themselves at risk. I am disturbed by one of the book blurbs by Richard Whitmire, author of "Why Boys Fail" who says:

“Kay Hymowitz does an exacting job describing the growing flock of man/children we're seeing, and she lays out the disturbing reality of the ‘marriageable mate’ dilemma that once affected only black women but has now become a broader phenomenon. Not only are there fewer college-educated men to marry, but many of those men who are available are little more than man/children—not anyone you would want your daughters to marry!”

If the blame is put on men because of their immaturity, Hymowitz still doesn't get it.

When someone tells you to "man-up," what do you think they are trying to tell you?

Update: So Glenn just got a nice autographed copy of the book in the mail. If I get a chance to read it soon, I will post more about it.

Update II: I just did a review of the book for Pajama's Media that will be up soon.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Do readers have plans for this day or do you just see it as a commercial-filled waste, or both?

...remember that men are not the enemy.

A somewhat decent (though still a tad self-centered) article in the Village Voice: "Dear Single Women of NYC: It's Not Them, It's You." The plight of the single lady (via Newsalert):

But I'd argue that it's not about being picky. It's about having all of these options, and not knowing how to choose from among them, or whether we even want to. It's about the years of being told we can have it all, and suddenly being deeply afraid to admit that that house of cards has been a sham all along because no one really gets to have it all. (And so, the self-professed adamantly anti-marriage Elizabeth Gilbert—who ate, prayed, and loved her options into a bestseller and a Julia Roberts movie—ultimately "caved" to marrying her foreign-born partner so that he could live in the U.S.)

Everyone has to make choices. This isn't to say that if you want a successful career and to be a wife and a mom, you can't do it. Nor that you can't do it fairly well. But inevitably, you'll have to give up one thing for something else. Why should you settle? Because that's what all humans do when they make choices....

Once you know what you want, narrow the options, make your choices, and go for it. But until you do, embrace not knowing. Make New York your playground and stop complaining about how single ladies have it so hard in this city. Along the way, remember that men are not the enemy. Many of them are reasonable and good and not at all the brutes we've made them out to be, even if they don't want to marry us (and some of them do).