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Vanessa is…

 

The utterly glorious Mister Peace tagged me inadvertantly with his “google images” meme.

 

What is this, you ask?

 

Here are the rules:

1) Go to www.Google.com

2) Click on Google images

3) Type in your name and search

4) Repost (w/ a link) the picture of the oddest, craziest, strangest, coolest, oldest, etc. person that shares your name. Post multiples if you find a few you like. (See Below)

5) Pass it on to at least 5 other people.

 

As is my way, I don’t do tags by halves. I find them oddly inspiring. Probably because it’s a chance to wax lyrical about myself to my heart’s content.

So, here we have it.

I’ve always liked my name. Nay, loved my name. Not many people say that about their own name… but I suppose I can credit my parents for having immaculate taste. Mind you, I was almost called Miranda, which is also a lovely name, but my grandmother protested loudly, and I became Vanessa.

I have been told most often throughout my life, is that my name means, “butterfly”.

So, it’s quite understandable that for a long time, I believed that I was some kind of enigmatic butterfly, until I discovered that the name Vanessa, is just the name for a genus of butterly, like these:

BERJAYABERJAYABERJAYABERJAYABERJAYA

I am all of these butterflys, and if that means that my name “means” butterfly, how could I complain? Butterflys are the epitome of delicacy and beauty…

Of course, that also makes me pupa and caterpillar, which strangely thrills me just as much, if not more…

BERJAYABERJAYA

I delved further.

 

Apparently, I am also shoes, which would please me no end if I had a shoe fetish, but then again maybe not, because you’ve got to admit, they’re not very spectaclar shoes…

BERJAYABERJAYABERJAYA

 

It turns out, I am also a doll. A hot doll, no less. I am ever so pleased.

BERJAYA

 

And some beautiful blooms. I can’t think of prettier flowers to carry my name….

BERJAYABERJAYA

 

 

This painting is called “Vanessa”, by Guy Morand. Does this make me his muse by default…?

BERJAYA

 

I am also fluffy white cats. Only. No other colour need apply. Apparently.

BERJAYABERJAYABERJAYA

 

Hey, I’m a computerised chess game! Which is pretty cool. I haven’t played chess since before my grandfather died when I was 9. Nobody has agreed to played with me since. I can’t help but wonder if there is a reason for that…?

BERJAYA

 

Girlfriend! I’m a drag queen. Fabulous, darling! (you know it had to be a big photo with that outfit…)

BERJAYA

 

And, as is the contrary nature of my being, I am also a strange piece of machinery related to the rotary process, whatever that is….

 

BERJAYA

 

A somewhat groovy chair? It works for me. I do work with furniture, after all…

BERJAYA

 

I am also Johnny Depp’s gorgeous, French pseudo ex-popstar girlfriend/partner/wife. Go, me!

BERJAYA

 

And facial cleanser. I wonder if I could snag an endorsement?

BERJAYA

 

 

Ships. Can you believe that all these ships are called “Vanessa”? Me neither. I like it. I love ships. And boats. Water is my element, all over. I dig it.

 

BERJAYABERJAYABERJAYA

 

 

This one pleases me more than most. I love aeroplanes. A biplane called “Vanessa”. How many people can boast that? I wonder who inspired it?

BERJAYA

 

 

But, I think above all, I will always remain a pygmy goat.

BERJAYA

 

What is in your name?

 

(Don’t) Follow the rules, people… ;)

 

Tag yourself.

 

 

 

Song of the Day - Turin Brakes - Forever

 

 

 

Hooray for Holidays!

I’ve been a little bit busy lately.

Busy planning a holiday.

Where, you ask?

This might give you a hint:

new-zealand-map.jpeg

I’m going to New Zealand! Woohoo!

You know, Lord of the Rings country, and all that…

All expenses paid, no less. My mother has just emerged from a 3 year relationship and one of her funny little “end-of-the relationship” quirks, is that she likes to go on holiday…. and I reap all the benefits! Muahahaha!

The flights are free, thanks to the QANTAS Frequent Flyer programme, and all my accomodation and car hire is paid for. For 9 days. Not bad, huh?

We’re doing a self-drive trip around the South Island, which is mostly Alpine landscape and made up of lovely things like this:

new-zealand-andy-curtis.jpg

Fox Glacier

The only downside (possibly apart from spending 9 days in planes and cars with my mother, which is fraught with potential disaster in itself), is that we have to catch no less than SEVEN connecting flights in total, there and back. Crikey Moses.

I think it will be worth it.

All the planning and itinerary is up to me, as I’m quite good at that kind of thing, so I’ve been scouring the intertubes and holiday brochures for ideas. I think I’ve got it sorted. I’m talking scenic flights, sailing down the fjord (otherwise known as Milford Sound) and getting up close and personal with glaciers. Not to mention the jetboats…

Less the flying time, we’ll have 6 nights to cover the South Island. I think we can just about do it.

Being a bit of a photography nut, I’m so excited about the potential for lovely images, I can’t even tell you.

So, there will be a lot of this:

nzmilforweb.jpg

And possibly not so much of this:

nz-queenstown-skier.jpg

Or, this…

nz-queenstown-golf.jpg

Meaning, obviously, that I won’t be flinging myself across ravines. Although if anyone is kind enough to provide me with a lovely photo opporunity, I’ll be ever so grateful. :D

We’re flying out on October 16. I can’t wait.

Get ready for copious numbers of highly self indulgent, yet beautiful photographs.

In the words of the immortal Big Kev, “I’m excited!!”

********************************

Finally, as per usual, here is a list of my successful and glorious music downloads in the past couple of weeks. Yay! :

Siouxsie and the Banshees - Venus in Furs
Siouxsie and the Banshees - Peek-A-Boo
Siouxsie and the Banshees - Spellbound
Siouxsie and the Banshees - Arabian Nights
Siouxsie and the Banshees - Christine
Siouxsie and the Banshees - Dear Prudence
Siouxsie and the Banshees - Cities in Dust
The Streets - Let’s Push Things Forward
Junior Marvin & Lee Scratch Perry - Police and Thieves
Willy Mason - Oxygen
Townes Van Zandt - Dead Flowers
Antony and the Johnsons - The Atrocities
Antony and the Johnsons - Man is the Baby
Graham Coxon - Standing On My Own Again
Graham Coxon - You & I
Paul Weller & Graham Coxon - This Old Town
Amanda Ghost - Bad Girl
Amanda Ghost - Idol
Sufjan Stevens - The Seer’s Tower
Sufjan Stevens - The Dress Looks Nice On You
Sufjan Stevens - To Be Alone with You
Sufjan Stevens - Super WomanSufjan Stevens - Size Too Small
Sufjan Stevens - Jacksonville
Sufjan Stevens - John Wayne Gacy Jr
Sufjan Stevens - For the Widows in Paradise
Sufjan Stevens - The World’s Columbian Exposition Part II
Sufjan Stevens - Chicago
Sufjan Stevens - Casimir Pulaski Day
Sufjan Stevens - A Good Man is Hard to Find
Stereolab - Ping Pong
Jackson Browne - You Love the Thunder
Joseph Arthur - Honey and the Moon
Syd Barrett - Baby Lemonade
Tim Buckley - Once I Was
Tim Buckley - Dolphins
Art Brut - Emily Kane
Art Brut - Moving to LA
Art Brut - Formed A Band
The Breeders - Safari
Mogwai - Stanley Kubrick
The (English) Beat - Mirror in the Bathroom
Battles - Atlas
The Go-Betweens - Lee Remick
The Klaxons - It’s Not Over Yet
My Bloody Valentine - Off Your Face
Silversun Pickups - Lazy Eye
The Church - Reptile
The Cult - American Horse
The Libertines - Time For Heroes
Bob Marley - Hammer
Sia - Breathe Me
Mazzy Star - Blue Light
Alice In Chains - Man in the Box
Black Flag - Rise Above
Nine Inch Nails - Wish
Rammstein - Das Modell
Smashing Pumpkins - Tarantula
The Good, The Bad & The Queen - Kingdom of Doom
Chemical Brothers (ft. Ali Love) - Do It Again
Chemical Brothers - Let Forever Be
Butthole Surfers - Who Was In My Room Last Night?
Butthole Surfers - Avalanche
Butthole Surfers - Whatever
Butthole Surfers - Hurdy Gurdy Man
Butthole Surfers - Pepper
Dappled Cities Fly - Make You Happy
Dappled Cities Fly - Cream
Dappled Cities Fly - Fire Fire Fire
Dappled Cities Fly - Vision Bell
Neil Young - Dead Man
Sigur Ros - Svefn-g-Englar
Emilie Simon - Dame de Lotus
The Avalanches - Frontier Psychiatrist
The Avalanches - Since I Left You
Faker - Hurricane
Black Sabbath - Spiral Architect
Queens of the Stoneage - Sick, Sick, Sick

Ok, happy end.

Song of the Day - E.L.O - The Diary of Horace Wimp

I Am An Addict

I have a confession to make.

I have developed an addiction.

An addiction to vintage handbags.

It’s always been there, but it’s grown to the point where I am seriously considering putting a ban on myself from logging into eBay ever again.

Then again, whatever makes you happy, right? It’s more fun and useful than collecting souvenir teaspoons.

I thought I’d show you my winning bids from the last couple of weeks. Who doesn’t like to look at pretty things?

c8e6_1.jpg

This rather jolly looking 70’s number is a great size, in excellet condition and arrived on my doorstep from the UK this week. Needs to lose a certain musty odour, but at least that lets you know it’s not a fake.

Unlike this one:

1115_1.jpg

…which I also now have in my possession and is NOT vintage, as advertised. Farkinell. You can’t bloody well trust anyone these days. The only reason I’m not going to kick up a fuss, is that despite the false advertsing, it is a lovely bag with very dense beading. I’ll definitely get some use out of it and I didn’t pay much.

 

 

c950_1.jpg

Another 70’s vision, which also arrived this week. My mum had handbags like this when I was a kid. It’s leather, of course and very roomy. I took it out with me when I went out for lunch this week and I couldn’t be happier. Especially considering it only cost me AU$15.

 

 

iron_horsejpg400.jpg

So, not only do I have a fetish for vintage handbags in general, but also a fetish for pretty much anything made by Enid Collins in the 1960’s. This box bag is one of her creations. It arrived in the mail today and it is just about the cutest thing I’ve ever seen, much nicer than in the photo. Yay!

It’s also cute when you open it up….

iron_horse_2.jpg

 

And whilst we’re on an automotive tangent….

6796_12.jpg

This is another Enid Collins (Collins of Texas) bag I managed to get my grubby little paws on. Woohoo!

 

 

715e_1.jpg

This tooled leather 70’s bag was apparently once used in a movie. Which movie that was, nobody seems to be quite sure…. I’ll er… keep an eye out.

 

 

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This one I adore. It’s so pretty and unusual. I’m already scoping out places to put it on display… Hmm. Maybe it will make a nice jewellery box…

Other perspectives:

dscf0015_051.jpg dscf0019_035.jpg

 

And finally….

f78c_12.jpg

Another Enid Collins creation from the 60’s. So pretty…. [sigh]

 

 

So, you see why I need help? This infatuation is starting to get out of control. I wonder if there is a treatment centre for handbag addiction. I think I need some aversion therapy.

 

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to log into eBay…. to leave some feedback. Yeah, that’s it…….

 

 

Song of the Day - The Rezillos - Somebody’s Going To Get Their Head Kicked In Tonight

 

Those Crazy Scandinavians…

I wasn’t going to post another blog until tomorrow night, but I just came across this little gem and if I don’t share it with you right this minute, I couldn’t live with myself for depriving you of such a stellar slice of cheese.

It’s a Finnish cover of The Village People’s “YMCA”, by ’70s rokk ikkons Gregorious. Remember them?

No, me neither, but I hear they were HUGE in Finland.

I don’t care what anyone says, any video featuring scoop shorts, tube socks and an electric organ has to be good.

This video makes me happy.

Just watch. You won’t regret it:

And if you can’t get enough of those wonderful Finns and their cutting-edge choreography and fashion sense, CLICK HERE.

I am booking a holiday to Finland tomorrow. Anyone care to join me?

Ok, I’m taking my poor, sleep deprived self off to bed. I will endeavour to be back tomorrow, to begin posting the seemingly endless backlog of photo blogs I have pending… oyy…

Via Boing Boing

Song Of The Day - The Sex Pistols - Silly Thing

Yacht Rock #9

Well, we’re nearly at the end, folks.

If you’ve found this blog through a search engine query for Yacht Rock, welcome!

You’ve come to the right place…

God knows, Jules and I are beyond happy to know that there are other people on the planet who appeciate smooth cheese…

So, here we have Episode 9 of Yacht Rock - “Runnin’ With The Devil”

 

In Episode 9:

Does Drew Carey have a heart? Could Van Halen be the connection between smooth music and the future?

Who will win the battle? The Heavy Metal Devil? Or, Smooth Jesus?

Skiddly diddly bop!

 

See for yourselves:

 

Coming soon: In the next and final episode, who will win the fight to keep smooth music alive? Steely Dan, or the Eagles?

Stay tuned….

 

Yacht Rock 1 - “What A Fool Believes”
Yacht Rock 2 - “Keep The Fire”
Yacht Rock 3 - “I’m Alright”
Yacht Rock 4 - “Rosanna”
Yacht Rock 5 - “I Believe In It” & Yacht Rock 6 - “The Seed Drill”
Yacht Rock 7 - “I Keep Forgettin’”
Yacht Rock 8 - “Gino (The Manager)”

 

Yacht Rock Online

 

 

Song Of The Day - Sufjan Stevens - Chicago

 

 

I Bin Crushin’…

Modobs wants to know which celebrity I’d spend time with on a desert island.

It’s a new tag. Woohoo!

Although, there is a really big part of me that just really doesn’t want to go there.

Why, you ask?

Well, I’ve been known to have odd taste in men. At least that’s what I’ve been told. I prefer to think of myself as umm… eclectic? I really don’t have a “type”. People appeal to me for different reasons, and it’s more often than not, it’s some kind of talent or cerebral connection that makes me all hot and bothered. I also change crushes almost as often as I change my underwear - which is quite often, I’m sure you’re pleased to know.

I sometimes also fancy people that even I wouldn’t expect.

Take Criss Angel, for example.

criss-angel.jpg

I said I don’t have a type, but if I did, he doesn’t fit it. He’s showy, he wears tacky jewellery and his contrived “too cool for school” image would normally be enough to turn me off quite spectacularly. Not to mention that unintentionally hilarious theme song for his show. Did nobody have the guts to tell him that he can’t sing? That said, I still get it stuck in my head for days on end…

However.

The guy is fucking sexy. His show has been on repeating on late night TV for the last few weeks here and I’m hooked.

He’s like Houdini on crack.

Almost everything he does is an illusion, but dang it’s impressive. He’s a master of sleight of hand and his stunts are insane. Everything from having a Humvee drive onto his chest whilst lying on a bed of spikes, to purposely getting struck by lightning and trying to blow himself up with dynamite.

He likes to push the boundaries, and that to me, is sexy. He can conjure me up some coconuts any time.

Here is Criss being hit by a car at high speed. As you do.

… and here’s one of his many tricks he perfoms on the unsuspecting public in the street. Almonds and plums into cockroaches, yum!

Looking for photos of him tonight, I noticed that he has a really bad haircut now. I might not like him anymore.

:D

My other crush of the moment is Verka Serduchka.

serduchkaa.jpg

No modobs, I’m not kidding.. hah!

Verka Serduchka is a comedic character, and could best be described as Ukraine’s answer to Dame Edna Everage.

Verka came second (representing Ukraine) in this year’s Eurovision Song Contest. He/she was the hot favourite to win, but was tragically pipped at the post by that mob from Serbia… [sob]

Before the Eurovision final, Jules sent me a video of Verka’s entry in the competition, Dancing Lasha Tumbai and I was transfixed. I think you either love her or hate him/her. If nothing else, you have to laugh. This song just makes me so very happy…

So, I have a crush on a drag queen (who is by all reports not gay… so that’s something in my favour), and imagine my joy when I discovered that the man under the sparkly headwear is so dashingly handsome, I want to have his babies. Immediately.

andriy_danylko.jpg

The only photo of him on the internet - and it’s not even a good one.

Watch this instead. It’s a rather clever video featuring a duet and tango between Verka and her alter ego (see above), Andrey Danilko, who is a rather talented composer apart from Verka.  He really is rather gorgeous…

So. As a result of this year’s Eurovision, I now have a rather obnoxious fetish for eastern European accents and cheesy Europop novelty songs. I think I need help. Especially since just this week I purchased 3 cd’s by Verka Serduchka on Ebay (AU$40 for the three including postage - bargain!) from someone in the Ukraine. The cd’s don’t even have english lettering on them. It’s all in that crazy Ukranian/Russian chirography.

[sigh]

I am a poor, lost soul…

So there you go modobs. Are you happy now I have revealed my ridiculous taste in men to the entire interweb? Then again, it could be worse… I could have picked Julian MacMahon… Teehee!

Ok, I think I’m supposed to tag some people: Jules - Jennifer - Stiletto - Mister Peace - Richard - Qelqoth.

Ok, happy end.

Song Of The Day - Siouxsie and the Banshees - Cities in Dust

A Botanic Sojourn…

 

There is a lovely place near Perth called Araluen Botanic Park

I’ve been told that I’ve been there numerous times since 1979, but I don’t really recall… I only see flashes of memory.

The last time I really remember being there, was at my aunty’s wedding. I was the flower girl. I loved that day. I kept the dress for the longest time and even wore it as an odd babydoll kind of top when I was younger, until it went astray.

I wish I hadn’t lost that frock.

I was a pretty flower girl…

BERJAYA

Last weekend, I went back to Araluen (which means “singing waters” in Aboriginal) for the first time in decades. Every winter they have a mass tulip planting. It was advertised that “Springtime at Araluen” had started, but it turns out we were a bit early. Not surprising as it is still winter, and how….

The tulips were not quite ready, but I still managed to take a few nice shots. It was raining steadily the whole afternoon, but it didn’t matter. It’s such a lovely place. To add to the atmosphere, a male tenor was standing at the base of the valley singing beautiful music which resonated all over. It really was so special. Quite surreal.

BERJAYA

 

This is is the oldest, largest (1929) pergola of its kind in the world. No shelter from the rain, but it’s very pretty…

BERJAYA

 

We really were just a couple of weeks too early. Too much budding and not enough blooms…

BERJAYA

 

So much for fucking global warming (is it just me who is suspicious of the hype??). On the dryest continent, in the midst of drought, the ducks are loving it. We have well exceeded our average rainfall now……………………..yeah, yeah I know. The wheatbelt… but……….

BERJAYA

 

There were some very pretty blooms…

BERJAYA

 

… and interesting bush views. In Australia, untouched native foliage is called “the bush”, as in “look at that log up there in the bush”…

BERJAYA

 

The tulips were trying…

BERJAYA

 

There were interesting rock bits…

BERJAYA

 

… and waterfally bits….

BERJAYA

 

… and random chairs made out of stumps, which would have been welcome if not for the rain…

BERJAYA

 

Araluen as it is, was constructed by the Y.A.L. (Young Australia League) in 1929 and as part of the design, they built the “Grove of the Unforgotten” to commemorate the 88 members of the Y.A.L., who died in WWI. It has been restored. This is it. The waterfall flows down into a stone memorial and flower garden.

BERJAYA

 

Dense ivy is lovely…

BERJAYA

 

And the creeks flow freely. The water tastes a bit like fertiliser, but it still tastes fresher than tap water…

BERJAYA

 

Trees make me happy.

BERJAYA

 

There are more photos here

 

Feedback most appreciated.  I love you.

 

 

 

Song Of The Day - PJ Harvey - Good Fortune

Nostalgic Ramblings of a Temporary Insomiac

It was one of those nights where you turn off the light and lose sense of almost all cohesive thought as your subconscious tries to overtake your conscious mind in a race to see who can keep you awake the longest.

You know the thing?

This came about at around the 4am mark, when I realised that the only way to shut everyone up was to switch the light back on and attack with a paper and pencil.

This purge has nothing to do with sleep in any form.

That said, I know exactly what it’s about.

If you’re very good, I might even tell you…

Maybe.

***********************

Bright lights and saline… the line feels flat. Flat. FLAT. Whoops, up we go again! Run over and spun…Clarity, what? Stabbed once and again with no penetrating point. Curtains, tilts and comraderie. Give me my rectangle and lake; orange plastic chairs and armour. Flowers are nice. Ducks are nicer. Wanna play pool? The cue has no tip and the table slopes, but it just makes sense that way. Shake and swallow. Swallow. SWALLOW, damn you. The paint dries. The bead falls. The glue sticks. Happiness is a coin monster with a belly of glass, sugar and salt. Poke, poke, POKE. Geez. Anyone home? You, not me. You only pretend to know; it’s your job and I wish you’d shut the fuck up. You can’t do that. WATCH ME. What’s my name? Why am I here? Function how high? For fuck’s sake, don’t do it again!!! It’s only death until someone dies… Is a hamster a guinea pig? No. Just you are. Say no to electrodes; play with power tools instead. Who are all these people? Scan me, why don’t you? Give me a few pricks; I love a good prick. My ball is better than your ball. Mine is squeezable. Mine is edible. Mine is coloured. You want help? I’ll choose the channel. Slops and clatters. Whaddaya want? Stand in line. Plug in the melody of teleportation. Code blue like the telephone called. Excuse me, I would like to tell you that the people in your walkman are lying. Excuse me, why are your surprised there is breakage from five stories? Excuse me, do you really think you have buggage? You must be very angry to rip the head off your teddy bear like that. You people are strange. You people are fucking insane. I just feel sad. They took that man away; then they took that woman. Did you know her? Where did they take her? Why did they take her? I hate this place but I don’t want to leave. You win. Outside, down some tracks, the hoodoo breaks. Look through it. Look at it. Embrace it. Break it. Kill it. Give it a decent burial with flowers and ducks. It’s nothing you need and nowhere you need to be. Put it away. Not again… Maybe; not. Not. NOT. Sometimes, say never. NEVER.

*************************

 

By the way, my Tumblr rules. This guy told me so.

Probably because I like to post pictures like this:

7548000_500.jpg

Pic via The Bunny House

 

 

 

Song Of The Day - Iggy Pop - Sixteen

Showdown at the Tulip Corral

The weather was fine for the first time in weeks. A near month of rain had caused flowers to bloom and inhabitants to crawl up the walls with cabin fever. A couple of decent storms had filled the swimming hole with debris and the garden was wild and weather beaten.

Bilbo stepped tentatively from the window that was always left open for him, even in the most biting chill. He wasn’t keen on the cold and preferred to sleep, eat and not much else in the winter months. His humans still liked to give him the option to go outside as he pleased. Mostly because they didn’t like to change the litter box too often.

Today was different.

Today, it was sunny. Flowers were blooming, in anticipation for the spring and the sparse warmth of the sun gave new life.

However, Bilbo wasn’t interested in flowers.

He liked clay.

BERJAYA

The sun, the clay and the close proximity to chlorine made for a strange chemical reaction in Bilbo.

BERJAYA

It was a perfect day.

Before long, Bilbo’s brother Spiffy had a similar idea, yet only simliar in the sense that he wanted to be outdoors on such a glorious day. Spiffy loved to be outside and had been terribly frustrated at all that water falling from the sky ruining his important business.

Immediately on stepping through the window, Spiffy spied his brother and strolled over to say hello.

BERJAYA

Spiffy told Bilbo that he was going over the fence to take care of some long overdue business. Bilbo thought he’d take advantage of the peace and quiet, and have a bit of a lie down and enjoy the afternoon sun.

Little did he know, Spiffy had other ideas.

BERJAYA

Nobody likes being stalked with stealth, no matter the intention.

Spiffy snuck up from behind. “BOO! HAHAHA!!”

He gave Bilbo an awful fright.

BERJAYA

Bilbo was livid. “Don’t EVER sneak up on me like that!! I’ve told you too many times! Leave me alone!!”

Spiffy was beginning to enjoy his little game.

“Hehe, got ya a beauty!”

“Fuck you Spiffy! I’ve got a foot and I’m not afraid to use it!”

“Oh yeah? Let’s see what you’ve got…”

BERJAYA

Bilbo launched a swift kick at Spiffy’s sternum.

“Owww! You didn’t have to hurt me!”

“Hah! Now who’s “got” who?” said Bilbo. “And just for that, I’m going to show you my scary face!!”

BERJAYA

Spiffy was taken aback, but only momentarily.

“Pfft” he scoffed. “You call that a scary face? I’ll show you scary…!!”

BERJAYA

“Right! That’s it!!” growled Bilbo. “It’s on!!”

BERJAYA

And so it was at the Tulip Corral.

 

 

Song Of The Day - The Cure - A Forest

Fun with Photoshop (a self indulgent fancy)

I’ve not much to say right now as I’ve eaten too much icecream and my hormones are starting to scream at me again. I suppose that’s better than them screaming at other people, but it still sucks.

I just spent the past hour or so feeling around in the dark with Photoshop and an old analogue photographic self portrait of yours truly. I think they turned out rather well, seeing as I’m still yet to open the instruction book…

 

BERJAYA

 

BERJAYA

 

BERJAYA

 

BERJAYA

BERJAYA

BERJAYA

BERJAYA

BERJAYA

 

Which did you like best?

 

 

 

 

 

Song Of The Day - The Animals - CC Rider

 

Far Too Random For A Cohesive Title

Woah.

My eyes are going crosseyed and my shoulders are super tense from typing.

Typing what, you ask?

I finally came to realise yesterday, what a bloody good thing is flickr.

I’ve had an account for a while, but haven’t really used it until now. I was having a poke around the site and was impressed with the easy and logical methods as to which you can organise your photos. Also, they’re stored online whether you pay your bill or not. This is heartening and to me, a lot more comforting than my non-existant dodgy backup methods.

I also realised pretty quickly that the free account wasn’t going to cut it for the volume of photographs I keep on my computer. I upgraded to the Pro account and since yesterday, I’ve uploaded, labeled and categorised 350 photographs… and I’ve barely touched the surface.

Tonight I was uploading photos from a trip to Sydney last year, and I noticed something strange. Literally as my photographs were being uploaded, people were looking at them. Freaky. The more I uploaded, the more the individual photo view count increased, within seconds of uploading.

I’m bloody glad they you can adjust the settings for who can view what, although I have to admit I did get a bit of a thrill from people actually being interested in my boring holiday photos, heh.

I was given the gift of Photoshop a couple of weeks ago, and it’s got me all gooey about taking photos again. Although, what I’ve been uploading to flickr, is mostly archival to this point. Check out my page if you’re having trouble sleeping, heh.

It’s 3am and I’m done with flickr for today.

In lieu of something more interesting, here are some photos I took of a truck that rolled over on the Mitchell Freeway recently. I thought it was pretty exciting….

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As you can see, emergency services were out in force. It made a big bloody mess. Thankfully nobody was hurt.

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Yes, I am taking photos and driving on the freeway at the same time. Don’t ty this at home, kids.

wb3.jpg

It’s around this time that I’m feeling rather smug for driving north at the right time. Those people would have been stuck there for hours. And I mean, hours. The jam went on for miles, too.

Other than that, I’ve not energy for much although I’m feeling quite spiffy from a few glasses of the ol’ strawberry champagne….

Here is a list of music I joyfully downloaded on the weekend:

Emilie Simon - Ice Girl
Emilie Simon - Femme FataleEmilie Simon - Je N’Veux Pas Rester Sage
Emilie Simon - Fleur de Saison
Emilie Simon - Le Desert
Emilie Simon - All Is White
Emilie Simon - Flowers
Marvin Gaye - Praise
The Jam - The Butterfly Collector
The Jackson Five - Looking Through The Windows
Pulp - Cocaine Socialism
Brian Eno - Another Green World
Curtis Mayfield - Trippin’ Out
Gang of Four - To Hell With Poverty!
The Verve - On Your Own
Geordie - All Because Of You
Dusty Springfield - How Can I Be Sure?
Dusty Springfield - Wishin’ and Hopin’
Nick Drake - Tow The Line
Charlotte Gainsbourg - L’un Part L’Autre Reste
Charlotte Gainsbourg - Little Monsters
Charlotte Gainsbourg - The Songs That We Sing
Charlotte Gainsbourg - Morning Song
Coldplay - Bigger Stronger
The Osmonds - One Bad Apple
Lulu - The Man Who Sold The World
Jona Lewie - You’ll Always Find Me In The Kitchen At Parties
Chris Spedding - Motor Bikin’
Phoenix - Long Distance Call
Phoenix - Run Run Run
Phoenix - Too Young
Phoenix - If I Ever Feel Better
Arctic Monkeys - Bigger Boys And Stolen Sweethearts
All Saints - Black Coffee
Joy Division - Dead Souls
Nick Lowe - Cruel To Be Kind
Dave Edmunds - Girls Talk
Talking Heads - Crosseyed And Painless
Talking Heads - Radio Head
Outkast - Two Dope Boyz (In A Cadillac)
Kings Of Convenience - I’d Rather Dance With You
Kings Of Convenience - Misread
Kings Of Convenience - The Weight Of My Words (Four Tet Instrumental Remix)
Heaven 17 - Let Me Go
ABBA - The Day Before You Came
Razorlight - Before I Fall To Pieces
Razorlight - America
Razorlight - Golden Touch
Razorlight - Stumble And Fall
Anita O’Day & Gene Krupa - Side By Side
Time Bandits - Endless Road
The Finn Brothers - Won’t Give In
Britney Spears - Breathe On Me (Jacques Lu Conts Thin White Duke Mix)
The Toys - A Lover’s Concerto
Air - How Does It Make You Feel?
Air - Alpha Beta Gaga
Air - Surfin’ On A Rock
Johnny Wakelin - In Zaire
Gorillaz - Ghost Train
Judy Street - What

Music makes me happy. You may have guessed.


Song Of The Day - Talking Heads - Crosseyed And Painless

Search Me. I Dare You…

Something I have noted with keen interest, since I started this blog, is the growth in number and evolution (for want of a better word) of search engine terms people have typed, to end up on my blog.

For some time, they were fairly run of the mill. Of course, once I started bringing sex into the equation, no matter how benign the reference, things began to get interesting.

For a while I was seeing copious results for “huge tits”. There must have been a couple of hundred at least, over the space of about two months.

There was a point when I realised “huge tits” was being replaced by “sweaty breasts”. Huge tits I could understand, but sweaty breasts? No idea…

It seems that “sweaty breasts”, has now, for all intents and purposes, been replaced by “bruised tits”.

Although I know how (see comments), they got here by searching for that term , I’m somewhat disturbed by the volume of enquiries and the violent implications of such a fetish. I don’t like it. It hurts to think about it - especially at this time of the month. Anytime.

Speaking of disturbing things, the under age enquiries of a sexual nature are so far from welcome……………………..

If you’re here for anything like that and you’re still reading, piss the fuck off right now. Instant Karma’s gonna get you……

Then, there is the interesting evolvement of the bondage/fetish queries. I get a lot of those. A LOT. The thing about the bondage queries is that they started off quite innocuous, as far as bondage queries go, but there has been a recent shift.

Allow me to illustrate with a few choice examples:

brown showers - If it wasn’t for Stiletto mentioning it in my comments, I’d have no idea this was so common…

bondage shitting

bondage india

muslim bondage

british bondage - obviously we’re culturally specific with our bondage fetishes…

wedding bondage

cast bondage

fetish colonoscopy - I didn’t expect to see this one. I’ve had more colonoscopys than I care to remember, and I’ve never, ever found it a pleasurable experience…

bondage cake - please explain?

furry in bondage

hot women taking a shit - ok…..

sink plug gag bondage

apple bondage - leave the apples alone! Poor apples…

face alfoil

puke bondage - oh, now please. You might want to see someone about that.

milking machine bondage

ice bondage female

grandpa bondage - go grandpa! hunh….

mummy bondage - are we talking mummys as in egypt, or is this yet another Oedipal complex?

********************

There are variations on all of these, but it’s becoming more and more puzzling, because I’m not quite sure how most of them end up here. I really don’t talk all that much about sex. Or, do I?

Naturally, I’ve just made it 10 times worse by posting all these again. Isn’t it fun?

We shall see.

Feel free to post some of your own search oddities.

I’m curious.

What’s a blog of mine without pictorial diversion? Here’s one for the coffee lovers….

coffee-enema1a.jpg

Yeah, I hate coffee…

 

 

Song Of The Day - Blondie - Pretty Baby

Yacht Rock #8

It’s been a while…

My apologies for the break, even though it’s pretty much only Jules and I who really understand the power of smooth music.

See? You didn’t get that either, did you?

Nevermind. There are others who love the taste of cheese. Extra sharp vintage cheddar. That’s what I’m talkin’ about.

It is time for Yacht Rock Episode 8 - Gino (The Manager)

Flashbacks can be so gloriously telling.

It started with a vision… I will say no more…

Yacht Rock 1 - “What A Fool Believes”
Yacht Rock 2 - “Keep The Fire”
Yacht Rock 3 - “I’m Alright”
Yacht Rock 4 - “Rosanna”
Yacht Rock 5 - “I Believe In It” & Yacht Rock 6 - “The Seed Drill”
Yacht Rock 7 - “I Keep Forgettin’”

 

Yacht Rock Online

Coming in Episode Nine - Could this be the end of smooth music as we know it? I really mean it this time…

 

 

Song Of The Day - David Bowie - D.J.

Vinyl Beauties 4

Is it just me, or has it it been really quiet around here lately?

I’m half expecting to see a tumbleweed roll across my screen…

Anyway, like it or not, it’s that time again.

Time for more glorious artistic cheese in the form of Vinyl Beauties.

Vinyl Beauties 1
Vinyl Beauties 2
Vinyl Beauties 3

 

Let’s play.

 

 

60_11.jpg

I’m a little confused. She’s run out of tissues? There’s a touch of the Ponds Institute about this.

I don’t think I’ve ever come across a brand of toilet paper that I’d want to drag across my face, save for err…. running out of tissues when I have a cold. Is this a real advertisement?

(And yes, I do know who Lard is. Doesn’t change the fact this is a slightly odd album cover…)

 

329597143_05658280d4.jpg

It’s always nice to have a family Optometrist, don’t you think?

A hairdresser in the family is also a bonus.

I’m tuning into “Where Are They Now” from now on. If anyone can tell us what happened to these child stars, it’s Mel and Kochie.

By the way, can someone tell me what a “Hofer” is? Anyone?

 

precussionbig.jpg

There is a holiday for Percussion? Brilliant.

I’m always up for a day off work, count me in. I have a wicked tambourine.

I can play it, too. Topless.

 

billingtonfuneral.jpg

Ooh. This one asks all the hard questions.

Does it mean that if you are a Christian, your lifeless body will end up in an ugly coffin with an excitable ruched trim? I have to say that this is not an appealing option to me. The curtains do not help.

Apparently it’s a “message”.

Is it just me, or does this read like a threat?

 

img_1049.jpg

Far out! That’s where I’ve been going wrong.

You see, I like jazz. I like swing, and some big band, but most modern jazz leaves me cold. That was until I saw the range of headwear available for the “jet set” jazz listener.

The boots are pretty cool, too.

[adds Dave Pike to her download list]

 

So, that would be all for this edition of Vinyl Beauties. Please feel free to leave your own interpretations…

I love you.

 

 

Song Of The Day - Turin Brakes - The Door

Murder and a Miscarriage of Justice

This story is one of murder and miscarried justice.

It’s kinda long, but have a personal connection with it.

Stay with me, if you will…

It’s a worthwhile read.

CAST OF CHARACTERS:

(Or people connected to me in this case. All of this is on public record, apart from my personal recollections)

MICHELLE ENGELHARDT - UNWITTING WITNESS
My best friend for many years. She still is in many ways. We still have a very close connection, although we don’t speak as often as we ought to. Michelle was with me through some of the craziest times of my early adulthood. I looked after her, she looked after me. She’s an incredible woman. A woman of the world, yet not of this world. She attracts more freaks than I do… and that’s saying something. She’s a fairy in an unconvincing disguise and has come through a lot to become a true woman of strength. Although I’ve probably spent more time looking after her than vice versa…

ANDREW MALLARD - CONVICTED MURDERER
Andrew is the central character in this story. He was living with Michelle as her flatmate when all this shit went down. He was taken by her, as so many men are. It would prove to lead to his downfall. Not by any fault of his own, or hers. You will find that story here.

JOHN QUIGLEY - LAWYER EXTAORDINAIRE
I had the privelege of being the Foreperson on a jury where John Quigley was the defence lawyer. I don’t trust lawyers. I gave him the hairy eyeball for the entire trial and focussed solely on the evidence, as I should have. That said, he was truly impressive as a defence counsel. At the time I wasn’t aware of his humanitarian convictions… I just thought he was your usual spin doctor.

ROB DEVENISH - PRISON CHAPLAIN
The Devenish family lived across the road from my grandparents for many years. My entire childhood. I spent a lot of time at my grandparent’s house and Rob’s daughter Belinda, would stay with me and I with her. I remember Rob as a very kind, if somewhat distracted man. The Devenish’s were a great family. The kind of family I wished I could grow up in, despite Belinda being the only girl amongst four boys.

COLLEEN EGAN - THE BEST KIND OF JOURNALIST
An investigative journalist who was convinced that things were not as they seemed, in this case. I mention her here, because my husband is acquainted with her, on a professional level. She’s the real heroine of this story.

The year was 1994.

My friend Michelle was living in a 2 bedroom flat in Mosman Park, Perth.

The rent had been a little steep at her last house, so she accepted the offer of an acquaintance to move in and share expenses. A man named Andrew Mallard.

I wasn’t living far from Michelle, at the time. I spent quite a few days and nights at her flat, with her and Andrew, watching telly, then going out to wherever took our fancy in the evening.

Andrew was usually there when I was. He was an odd character. Truth be told, he wasn’t all that pleasant to be around. He talked too much about things that didn’t make sense and was often quite loudly obnoxious about it. Usually we couldn’t wait to get out of there… at least I couldn’t. I didn’t feel like I was in danger, he was just annoying. He had a slightly manic way about him and had a lot of ridiculous conspiracy theories. He was also infatuated with Michelle.

Infatuated with Michelle to the point where, when it was revealed that things had gone bad at the last house she lived in and she couldn’t get her belongings back from that house, Andrew thought it would be a good idea to go around to the house and pose as a police officer to retrieve her stuff.

He didn’t do a very good job of it. He posed as in ‘Interpol Officer’. Nice one. The ex-housemates were onto him pretty much straight away. They called the police and he was arrested for impersonating a police officer and charged with theft. It was sweet of him to try, as misguided as his attempt was… He really wanted to impress Michelle.

One day soon after, I received a frantic call from Michelle.

It went something like this:

“Vanessa! I’ve got to tell you something!!”

“Why? What’s happened??”

“Andrew’s been arrested for that murder on Glyde Street! He’s been taken in for questioning and I don’t know what to do!! I’m freaking out, man!!!”

“Hang on… What???? Tell me what’s going on..!?”

“They think he killed that woman.. you know… Pamela Lawrence…to death!! He killed her!!! FUCK MAN!!! HE MURDERED SOMEONE!!!”

“Are you SERIOUS??!!”

“YES!!!”

“Holy fuck.. Wait.. wait… I just need to get my head around this…”

“I’m going to be taken in for questioning”

“That woman who was bludgeoned to death in her shop??”

“YESS!!!!!!”

I don’t remember much of what happened after that…

All I do remember is that things went horribly wrong for Michelle from there. She was taken in for questioning. She gave a statement. The police tore apart her flat. Andrew had been gone for a couple of days at this point. It turned out that he’d been picked up by the police, whilst he was sitting at Gino’s having a coffee. Gino’s is a very well known and perpetually busy cafe on the Fremantle strip. Fremantle is about a 15 minute drive south from Mosman Park. The police had been keeping an eye on him after the ‘Interpol’ incident. An undercover cop had been selling him pot, just the night before he was picked up.

Andrew was taken into police headquaters and interrogated for 11 hours, with no lawyer present. This was after being beaten up at a nightclub the night before (he was 6′5″, gangly, and had obnoxious tendencies… he stood out), after scoring dope from the undercover cop and also after having no sleep.

Eleven hours. Only the last 20 minutes of that eleven hour interview was recorded.

When the case eventually came up in court, amongst rabid media attention, nobody was aware of this. The cops said that he confessed. Police aren’t psychologists. They were looking for a shortcut conviction. That’s what they do.

In that last 20 minutes of the interview that was actually recorded, they asked him how Pamela Lawrence was killed. Andrew replied that she must have been bludgeoned with a wrench, this way.. and that way. He demonstrated how this had happened. He also drew a picture of the murder weapon, upon request. It was a wrench.

All of this was reported with glee on the TV news. Everyone agreed that he must be guilty. He was the talk of the town. There was even an eyewitness; a young, teenage girl who was a passenger in a car pulling up to the lights near the shop. Her mother worked in Pamela’s shop. She noticed that the lights were on and that Pamela was nowhere in sight, but she did see a man. She drew a description of the man she saw.

The Prosecution opened with the drawing Andrew had drawn of the supposed murder weapon. The wrench. All forensic evidence showed that it wasn’t a wrench that killed Pamela Lawrence. That evidence was never shown to the jury.

Andrew was found guilty by jury and sentenced to 30 years in a maximum security prison. Casuarina Prison. Casuarina ain’t pretty, despite it’s name.

It was the last 20 minute video of his interrogation, with no other evidence that saw him convicted. They made a big deal of his prior record. The ‘Interpol Officer’.

The first year he was in remand and prison, Andrew refused help from everyone, including his family. He was taken, after some time, to Graylands Hospital, which is the major psychiatric hospital here in Perth for the seriously mentally ill. It was established that he was suffering ‘Hypermania’, which is basically an early onset ‘manic’ state of people with Bipolar Disorder, or as it was once known, Manic Depression. I saw his mania for myself. I could have told them that, for crying out loud.

I’m quite familiar with Bipolar Disorder. I have observed it time and time again. If he was in a manic state when he was being questioned by police, he would have thought he was helping them, by providing them with scenarios under which this kind of killing could have occurred. Hypothesising, if you will. He would also have felt bulletproof and fully believed in his high intellect. He does have a high intellect, but he also would have had poor judgement, due to his condition. Bipolar people are generally not violent.

None of this was brought out in court, of course. But, that’s just one of many things.

His mother wrote a letter to an investigative journalist named Colleen Egan. Colleen almost dismissed the letter. After all, don’t most mother’s believe their children are innocent? But, Colleen also received a letter and report from the man who had performed a polygraph test on Andrew (not admissable in court), telling her “Follow your heart. You’ve got an innocent man, there.”

On the basis of that letter alone, she knew she had to delve further.

Colleen knew of John Quigley by reputation. He had been a high profile, very successful defence lawyer in Perth. He’d recently moved from law, into politics and was languishing on the backbench in Parliament. He would be the perfect guy to get involved in this case. He also had the ear of the Attorney General (State Minister for Law).

Quigley, despite his apparently bored appearance in Parliament, was still quite a busy man, but he spent 14 weekends reading the transcripts of the initial court case. He was hooked. He saw enough to see he felt he had a duty. A duty to see justice done.

Nobody could see, on the lack of evidence provided, why Andrew Mallard was in gaol (yes we spell it ‘gaol’ in Australia, hah!). There was no weapon. No DNA (although initially it was too early for the technology), no blood on his clothes, no fingerprints were found at the scene, he didn’t have a lawyer present at his interview and alleged “confession”. Also, the sketch by the teenage girl didn’t match. The man in the drawing had a beard and no moustache. Andrew had a moustache and no beard. That’s quite a difference. The sketches were never given to the Defence, let alone the Jury. The police didn’t hand them over.

Meanwhile, the Chaplain at Casuarina Prison, Rob Devenish, had taken special notice of Andrew’s case. He saw things weren’t right. He’d spent some time with Andrew, one on one and realised his plight. He felt driven to step up an appeal.

A high profile law firm also got involved in his appeal. Clayton Utz (my mother used to work for them). The group call from the partners in the firm was “On the simple facts, he couldn’t have done it”.

They soon discovered evidence from a taxi driver who testified that he had dropped Andrew at the ‘Bel Air’ flats not long before the time of the murder. 20 minutes before the murder. The taxi driver had waited outside the flats for that long and had assumed that Andrew had done a runner, but Andrew had returned. So, according to the prosecution, in that 20 minute period, Andrew had walked 4 blocks, murdered Pamela Lawrence, then sneaked back to the flats to pay the taxi driver. There was also a witness who saw him in the lift in the flats during this time.

Collectively they delved further.

Michelle’s second testimony was also revealed. According to the teenage ‘eye witness’, the man in the shop was wearing a cap. Andrew had said to the police that he did own a cap, but he wasn’t wearing it on the day. Unbeknownst to Andrew, Michelle testified that Andrew did own a cap, but at the time, she was at home and it had been hanging on the back of the front door, where it usually was.

It was initially suggested to the Jury by the Prosecutor, that Andrew must have gone and washed the clothes he was wearing, after the murder, under the Fremantle bridge. This was a quite a distance away, he didn’t have a car… and it was also kept from the Jury that there was no trace of blood OR salt water found on his clothes.

It’s just piling up, no?

Andrew was asked to take another Polygraph Test. Again, there was no doubt he was telling the truth when he said he didn’t murder Pamela Lawrence.

All this evidence in his defence was gathered for his appeal.

It took three Judges, ten days (that’s fast work), to find the new evidence in the Andrew Mallard case unconvincing on appeal.

He was apparently, fucked.

Andrew is a lucky man. He has a family who loves him and believes in him. Not long before he was found guilty intially, his father died. His father didn’t believe he was guilty. His poor mother. She had to deal with the death of her husband and her son being put away for life at the same time. She blames her husband’s death on Andrew’s arrest…

His sister stepped up to the plate. Between them both, with the generous help of the top legal brains in the state, they managed to get his case to the High Court in Canberra (Australia’s Capital).

They still needed new evidence to get it that far. Only 5 percent of cases that apply actually make it to the High Court.

They found it.

They found it in the form of a letter written by the police Superintendent in charge of the case, to the DPP (Director of Public Prosecutions). The Super stated quite clearly that he thought Andrew Mallard was innocent and stated reasons why. The police are the one’s who withheld all the crucial evidence initially…

It may seem like a small thing, but it made all the difference.

The case was accepted in the High Court. They agreed to look properly at the evidence, or lack thereof.

Last year, after 12 years in gaol, Andrew’s conviction was quashed, and he was set free.

Twelve years in prison.

FREE.

A free man.

I shed tears the day he was freed.

I know I didn’t like him much, but I didn’t hate him. Not at all. He just irritated me a bit. I’d never wish what he went through on anyone.

I feel bad that I believed he was guilty, without proof.

I think back, and I can’t see that he could have ever done it. He may have been a bit annoying, but he never showed any signs of violence. I think you can pick that in people. He was a fundamentally decent man, if a bit misguided.

If you read this, Andrew, I’m sorry. So very sorry.

Initially, I believed the hype.

Andrew leaving Casuarina Prison with his sister, Jacqui:
andrew_mallard01.jpg
If you’re looking for a postscript, here it is…

It’s 2006.

Andrew is free, but the police are still insisting, or implying he’s guilty.

There is some not-so-new technology called DNA.

Late last year, a handprint found at the scene of the crime, matches that of a man who, just a week before the horrible death of Pamela Lawrence, bludgeoned his own girlfriend to death.

That man is already in prison.

Here’s where the media comes in again….

A young, inexperienced radio newsreader at the ABC puts to air, without knowing she shouldn’t, the name of the man who matched the DNA.

The next morning the man in question is found dead by hanging in his cell in Albany Prison, south of Perth.

Andrew found out there was a new suspect by reading the newspaper over someone’s shoulder on the bus.

The police didn’t tell him.

The man who hanged himself was, by fairly concrete evidence, the man who murdered Pamela Lawrence.

In April 2007, it is announced there will be a Corruption Inquiry into the wrongful imprisonment of Andrew Mallard.

He has been awarded a $200,000 ex-gratia compensation payment, with more to come once the inquiry has settled its findings.

Fucking incompetent, egotistical, corrupt police.

That is the end of the story.

Except, I thank John Quigley, although I didn’t really define his role in this story…

I’ll just say this…

Quigley for Prime Minister. I’m glad your cancer is in remission.

And Rob Devenish, not only for making my childhood a more pleasant place, but for the moral support you showed Andrew in his darkest 12 years.

Andrew, I hope you can find yourself in the time you lost. And I thought I had it hard….

For what it’s worth, although I went along with it, it never made sense to me.

No help, I know.

If Andrew had been convicted in any number of states in the U.S. with the death penalty, he would probably not be alive now.

Here is the latest story about the case.

Hallelujah.

The End.

P.S. To the Lawrence family: I’m so sorry for your years of hell. I understand in ways I haven’t expressed. I so sincerely hope you can find some closure soon… as much as there can be.

Song Of The Day - TV On The Radio - Wolf Like Me

BERJAYA