The Angry Dieter

Well I am blogging, just not on this blog at the moment.

I’ve started up a wedding blog for the Swede and myself. Those of you who are interested, if you want you can email me (leave a comment) for the URL and I’ll flick it to you in email

Work is good - put myself up for some kind of award thing to see if I am good enough to be a TL of the year.

I’m thinking about getting a personal trainer. My finances are starting to look good and I need someone to bully me into fitness

I’ve been a facebook addict recently, playing bejewelled a lot, tiny adventures AD&D..

I’m walking home from a particular bus stop at night to de-stress too. It seems to be working. More randomness will continue later

March 29th, 2009 | Tags: chaos, lost?, planning, weddings | Category: Blogging | Leave a comment

I’ve been to a couple of movies at the Burswood park. You know.. a place where you go take your chairs, beds, big lounging beanbags, picnic rugs, baskets, pots, pans, fillet steak, olive oil, small mini camp burner.. and then slow cook your fillet steak whilst opening up a bottle of champagne with your loved one to celebrate whatever the hell it is, snuggle, snog, grope whilst you think you are in the dark, but not realise that the screen is bright enough to illuminate you especially if you are sitting IN FRONT OF ME.

GET A ROOM, or at least go camping and burn your steak and make out where we can’t see you. Bad enough that the movie was Twilight. Teen angst at it’s best. It’s lost boys meeting 2009 emo. Jebus.

What I did was agree to a midnight screening with one of my best friends J and a friend of hers. Twilight is about a teenage girl meeting and falling in love with a Vampire. Just click on this link if you want to find out what happens.  So the scene is set, my friend J and I are surrounded by Gen Y’s and Gen X’s. We all love a good vampire or zombie movie thanks to Braindead, evildead and Vampire LeStat - so was it any wonder that we were anticipating something. I was expecting to be highly entertained, not by the book, but by the people at the movie itself.

When Edward the hot young Vamp walks in.. people in the audience screamed.. not quite the Beatles type screaming, but definitely screaming for a hot pale dark young bloke with a permanent scowl. So I started laughing.. loud. I could hear a few others laughing too, and some teens glared at me whilst I buried my face in my hands. It was a suitably dreary night, there was light drizzle, enough to get me damp, not wet. However it added to the intensity of the showing. Well it would have if I wasn’t laughing too much at the dramatic entrances and screams of teenage girls every time a new hot paleskinned bloke turned up on the scream.

I think the highlight for me was when they were up a mountain, and Edward looking tortured stepped out into the light. “look at me!,” he dramatically paused, opening his shirt “I am a monster” Cue the sun hitting his chest.. now apparently he was twinkling like diamonds, but either the screen was bad, my glasses were fogged up in excitement, but I just did not see the … spectacular display. Bella breathes appreciatively and murmurs “You’re… beautiful!” making it sound like small richly wrapped gems dropping from her ruby lips, surrounded by her pale alabaster complexion with fetching blush and dark hair curling around her face.

My friend J and I just lost it laughing, both of us recalling the moment in StarWars Episode 3 (according to lucas) when the newly minted Darth Vader comes out of his coma, asks about Padme, evil emperor says “You killed her” and Darth starts screaming, robots pop and crush and he breaks free, arms akimbo and screams.. “Noooooooooooooooooooo” We got told to shush in that movie cinema too. So..

Moral of the story, if you make me go to a cheesy teen film or something so bad by George Lucas, prepare to deal with me laughing my ass off through the whole thing.

February 26th, 2009 | Tags: burswood, cheesy, emo, snogging, star wars, twilight | Category: Blogging | Comments (1)

I’ve been inactive for so long… but that’s ok. I don’t know where to begin.

Work has been through ups and downs. Very busy, challenging and rewarding. Each person I manage is unique as you’d expect, but in a call centre there’s usually a mold of some kind that people fit in to. Not in this case.

The guys I work with are just some of the best people I have managed. All are motivated in their own way - either by their own need to drive improvement in others to deliver something better - or because they want to go somewhere and be someone. Granted there are some challenges - but I can’t say that any of them are unpleasant to work with.

For the first time I feel challenged intellectually by many of my staff. I feel like I have to meet their expectations - it’s demanding! Fun, and in a way intimidating. Who wants to be managed by a boss who could be as thick as two short planks?!

I did some personality testing stuff the other day for a course and I got a result which was 1 off what I believe I am and have tested for previously.

I like the idea of being out there, a little structured, but I’m not really ISFP - I really think I am an INFP -

Either way.. this suits who I feel I am.

So I’m personality tested up, I have one - and now I start doing this course. I’ll learn how to be a better coach and leader. In the mean time I plan a wedding.

Wedding preps kind of suck - I’ve started a different blog so my family and my Swede’s family can access it. If you want the URL, let me know and I’ll flick it to you by email.

I need sleep.

February 19th, 2009 | Category: Blogging | Leave a comment

He’s been and gone - life moves on.

The Swede and I are getting married.

We’ve set a date based on availability for his brother to attend..

I’m excited.

I’ve printed out the Partner Migration booklet..

This is one of the best times of my life.

February 8th, 2009 | Category: Blogging | Comments (6)

So MM has arrived about 2 weeks ago now, and he’s happily xboxing whilst I blog before bed time. So what to blog about so far.

2 weeks ago X came out on facebook. Initially messaging me as “adding a friend” he wanted to advise he’d joined a group I was a member of, and found out I was a member of it, and apologised and said he could go. Being the person I am now, I just replied, I didn’t care, just as long as he was honest. What I didn’t expect was laundry being aired. I’ll post it here, but edited to remove his name and his new name.

The opening post of this thread is just too tragically amusing. Xxxxx’s opening line of “Who has married/ divorced/ had kids/ had a sex change/ gone to prison/other/all of the above?” is an amazing bit of psychicness.

Let’s see: I am not married (split with Lori in 2004); ergo never divorced (though the split was kinda technically close); No kids (which is good considering other matters); No prison that I’m aware of, discounting the one I had built for myself (and, to my great regret, for Lori); and lots of other, including a long stint in business with BB that ended in 2003 after a fabulous descent into self-destructive activity on my part.

Oh! Silly me. No sex change either.

Or rather, not yet. The process is underway. I started hormones earlier this year, after spending the years after breaking with Lori, wallowing in guilt and stupid stuff.

Please, no going all weird people now folks - I have that covered well enough for all of us. Heh!

I am a published poet - just 4 things in anthologies at the moment, but I hope for more - and am working in IT (surprise) doing remote consulting, since it’s a little unsettling for most business folk to deal with my fabulousness face-to-face

So. There you go. To all those who ever thought I was a very odd duck - well spotted. You had more of a clue than I ever did - or perhaps than I could admit. I did the denial good! … which in most contexts, for who it hurt, wasn’t a good thing. No wallowing in that, just a tad brutally honest. I reckon I have a lot of dishonest years to make up for

Oh - for those who STILL have not clicked. Yes, it is I, XXXX, of the once nodding, tipping hats and falling from comfy chairs.

These days, most call me Xxxx - even if I’m not ‘quite’ there yet.

So then I looked up and saw he’d left me a pvt message with a long winded apology of sorts (as much as one can apologise for being an Ass) and saying that I could get back the things I left behind when he wouldn’t let me take them when I left in the first place. Plus a copy of his “poem” which talks about our relationship/breakdown or whatever it was.

I felt like I was having a panic attack after reading it. I got angry, I was upset, I felt betrayed (again). Funny thing was, I went home - talked to MM and 2 days later I woke up and all the sudden, I didn’t care anymore. I think I am now over it. All the friends who knew me when I was teen, all the sudden know why I broke up with X. Most of them haven’t messaged me to ask if I am ok - probably doing the “we’re embarrassed so we won’t ask thing”. I’ve kept my mouth shut about it, and not really participated much in the group.

I’m kind of posting it here now, because I wanted to acknowledge that it’s over, and I am happy. Someone posted about how they felt after they found out about their X getting the surgery done - and I found out that X had finally started taking hormones.

I post now about how my life is starting to take shape and I’m moving forward. I have my Swede, MM. He has me. We care deeply about eachother, and for years have been best friends. When we did hook up, I have experienced what a real relationship is about. For me that entails - Hard work for both people to achieve common goals, to communicate and experience true honesty and openness; to trust someone so implicitly; to enjoy their laughter, and to watch him interact with my family to the point they want to adopt him! When he looks at me, I feel like he is staring into my soul, and telling me in that one look how special I am. These are all things I have never experienced before and wow, how awesome it is to be the recipient of such care. I am a very happy person now

//mushyness over

November 6th, 2008 | Category: Family | Leave a comment

I’ve been cleaning my room up today. When I moved to this new place, I just left everything in my room. I don’t really have anywhere to put anything, so it just became cluttered. Quite terrible really.

I’m tired, but can’t sleep so I’ve decided to clean my bathroom. When the swede arrives he should be happy.

Sleep is good so I shall retire. One very happy girl!

October 19th, 2008 | Category: Blogging | Leave a comment

The past always comes back to say hello, and today it did.

X messaged me on Farcebook.  Not necessarily to be my friend, but to say “sorry for joining a group you are a member of, I should have checked, I can leave if you like”.

I checked the FB group, and heshe has already posted on it.  Pointless saying anything now. I felt like saying “Hi everyone this is M, he lied to me for 11 yrs about who he was”, however that too is pointless.  I nearly had a panic attack and still right now feel like crying.

He’s still going ahead with the sex change. I thought he was lying, I wasn’t prepared for the idea that he would actually go through with it. He never followed through on anything else. I don’t know what else to do, cept ignore him and hope he will go away.

October 14th, 2008 | Category: Blogging | Comments (1)