Mother, May I Sleep with Treacher?

Because you're dying to know what I thought of Watchmen

One one hand, I'm such a nerd for the comic that I got one of the blood-splattered-smiley-face buttons when it first came out and actually wore it in public. On the other, I'm not such a nerd that I can't call it a comic instead of a "graphic novel." So I think I was able to take the movie on its own merits, instead of mewling about how they left out this or that, or the midget gangster doesn't look like the one in the comic, or any of that crap. Who cares? It's a movie.

That said: Zack Snyder is a crazy person to think he could pull this off. And he really didn't. But I admire him for trying. It's a noble failure.

Matthew Goode was really good in a movie called The Lookout, playing a very friendly guy who's maybe not so friendly after all. When I heard he was going to play Ozymandias, he seemed like a good fit. And yet he was so bland and lifeless. I mean, the one scene where he got to show any sort of emotion, he was squaring off against Lee Iacocca. WTF? Not to mention that in a movie with a butt-naked blue dude and Carla Gugino in old-age makeup, he managed to look ridiculous. He looked like David Bowie in a leftover Batman costume.

Malin Ackerman has the jawline of a Dave Gibbons character, but little of the acting ability.

Jackie Earle Haley was amazing. He really was born for this role. And he got the benefit of the few added scenes that actually improved on the comic. Like Rorschach's post-defenestration fight with the cops, and pulling on his "face" in front of the shrink: "Your turn, doc. WHAT DO YOU SEE?" Chills, man, chills. Thanks, Jackie. Don't stay away so long this time, huh?

Vaguely dissatisfying overall, but about as good as any movie version of the comic could have been without running at least 8 hours. Although it did make me realize there's less actual plot in the comic than I remembered. They managed to get most of it in. It's just too bad that so much character stuff had to go out the window to squeeze it into less than 3 hours.

I'll probably buy the DVD like a sucker anyway. Assuming I have any money left by then. (Remember, kids: Reagan was the bad guy!)

Obama is a liar

Not that I'm not convinced by the plethora of evidence, but mainly I want to see where this ends up in the Google results.

You can say that again (for now)

A political operative, based inside the White House, employed by the president of the United States and receiving a salary from the American taxpayer, goes to work every day to help direct a strategy against a broadcaster whose opinions are supposed to be covered by every protection the First Amendment can provide. To quote Shakespeare, "Something is rotten..." The American people have a right to know who this person is, what their duties are and how much they are paid.
-- Peter Roff

More recycled Twits or Tweets or whatever the hell they're called

Check this Twit out!

That's it, I quit

There's just no point. Ottawahawk is the only one you need. I'll be over here curled up in the corner, cowering in the face of my own mediocrity.

When Barry Met Gordon

[BRITISH PRIME MINISTER GORDON BROWN IS SHOVED THROUGH OVAL OFFICE DOOR BY SCOWLING SECRET SERVICE AGENT]

Brown: Good lord! How very-- [STANDS UP STRAIGHT, ADJUSTS TIE & SMOOTHS OUT WRINKLED SUIT, WALKS TOWARD OBAMA SITTING AT DESK] I'm afraid I wasn't expecting such treatment. But no matter. Good day to you, Mr. President.

Obama: [STARES DOWN AT PAPERS ON DESK]

Brown: Uhm. [CLEARS THROAT] I'm very sorry to bother you, Mr. President, but--

Obama: What? What is it? [LOOKS UP, NOT QUITE MAKING EYE CONTACT] Oh. It's you. Great. [RETURNS TO STARING AT PAPERS]

Brown: Hurm. Yes. Well. Have a seat, should I? [INDICATES CHAIR BEHIND HIM, WAITS FOR SOME SORT OF ACKNOWLEDGMENT, FINALLY SITS DOWN ANYWAY] So. It's. Did you, did you get the gifts I brought? The pen set is composed of wood from the sister ship of the one that was used to make the very desk you're--

Obama: [STILL NOT LOOKING UP] Yes. Yes, I saw it. Alright? Jeez... [UNCOMFORTABLE SILENCE] Oh yeah. Forgot. [DIGS THROUGH PAPERS, FINDS DVD CASE UNDER ONE STACK, TOSSES IT INTO BROWN'S LAP]

Brown: Oh! Very, uh, very nice. [PICKS IT UP, PULLS READING GLASSES FROM SHIRT POCKET] It's, let me... Yes We Can! The Barack Obama Story. Ah. That's. Uhm. Well, I certainly--

Obama: [SIGHING LOUDLY, STILL NOT LOOKING UP] Will there be anything else? I don't know if you noticed, but I'm kind of the President?

Watchmen: Capes on a Plane?

I Googled that and it looked like nobody had thought of it yet, so now I'm posting it. I hope it's wrong, but the more I learn about the movie, the more the buzz is wearing off. Also, I'm kind of worried about that curse Alan Moore put on it. Like you'll walk into the theater and break out in boils or something. He'd do it, too.

Headline you'll never see:

Obama Promises to Meet Limbaugh Without Preconditions

"We will crush you in the gears of our machine until you're fertilizer for plants, all while draping ourselves in the flag"

Tapper again:

President Obama announced today that his administration will begin stamping an emblem on projects funded by the economic stimulus package so that people can easily recognize the effects of the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act.

All projects will be stamped with the ARRA logo (short for the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act) and lists the recovery.gov website on the emblem.

How ARRAgant.

Hey, why does a "temporary measure" need a logo, anyway?

Obama continues to put our minds at ease

Tapper:

"To you, he's Mr. Vice President," President Obama said at the Department of Transportation this morning. "But around the White House we call him 'The Sheriff' because if you're misusing taxpayer money, you'll have to answer to him."

That remark brought peals of laughter in the president's rah-rah address before approximately 600 DOT employees, where he was joined by Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood and "Sheriff" Biden.

Sheriff Biden then placed Obama under arrest. "Hands on the podium. Spread your feet, spread your feet. You got anything in your pockets that's gonna stick me? Huh?"

Just kidding. Joe the Genius just chuckled, possibly understanding the joke.

BTW, if you watch the video embedded near the end of Tapper's story, please tell me if you hear any "peals of laughter."

It's not a good week to be Zachary Roth*

First Roth, the walking TPMbarassment, falsely accused Bobby Jindal of making up the Hurricane Katrina anecdote he told last Tuesday night, based on a shifting definition of the phrase "during Katrina." That was debunked by the subject of the anecdote himself, the late Sheriff Harry Lee.

Now Roth has falsely accused Rick Santelli of working with groups organizing these "tea party" tax protests all over the place. The story isn't true. But instead of posting a correction and an apology, or doing the usual and trying to rationalize away yet another stupid mistake, Roth simply deleted the post. And got caught doing so by Instapundit. How incompetent can one muckracker be? I think TPM stands for Tenuously Plausible Meanderings.

Dear Zach: It's not too late to learn a marketable skill. This one just isn't working out for you. Uh-oh, here come the waterworks.

Update: Another New Orleans resident speaks up about the meaning of "during Katrina."

*But then, when would it be?

Hey, guess who's not a fan of big government?

Courtesy of Blog P.I., here's a tale of some plucky young go-getters whose ambitions are being stifled by a bunch of bureaucratic red tape:

The team that ran the most technologically advanced presidential campaign in modern history is finding it difficult to adapt that model to government. WhiteHouse.gov, envisioned as the primary vehicle for President Obama to communicate with the online masses, has been overwhelmed by challenges that staffers did not foresee and technological problems they have yet to solve.

Obama, for example, would like to send out mass e-mail updates on presidential initiatives, but the White House does not have the technology in place to do so. The same goes for text messaging, another campaign staple.

Beyond the technological upgrades needed to enable text broadcasts, there are security and privacy rules to sort out involving the collection of cellphone numbers, according to Obama aides, who acknowledge being caught off guard by the strictures of government bureaucracy.

Got that? It really is beautiful: The Obama team doesn't like being told what to do by the government! Which is of course why they want to massively expand it. Kind of like a sea captain, preparing to set sail for uncharted waters, who gets caught off guard by a bucket of mud.

Sounds like they need some more money to fix this website number thing. Will a couple million cover it? Billion? Whatever. It's all just numbers anyway. Here you go. Don't worry, we'll keep having kids. They'll pay for it, or their kids will. Or their kids...

A New Orleans resident speaks about the meaning of "during Katrina"

A reader named Jordan reacts to my previous two posts about the current effort to smear Bobby Jindal over "during Katrina":

How do we -- the people who lived through Katrina -- define "during Katrina?"

Believe it or not, it was often a topic of discussion around town in early 2006.

The answer depends on who you are, or where you lived. I lived in the burbs. We had electricity 3 weeks after the storm but there was no (potable) running water so we could not return home. We were under mandatory evacuation for exactly one month. We had 3 "look and leave" days where we could come in town, do any minor repairs, get pets left behind, or otherwise secure our property. We had to be out by dusk, and there were nice young men on every street corner with M-16s reminding us of that fact.

Even if we wanted to defy the evacuation order, there was no water, no food stores, no businesses open, no nothing... And very few people had electricity, and the temps were in the 90s.

We lived in a hotel room for 30 days with 4 people, 500 miles from home.

When we say "during Katrina" we mean from the time we evacuated -- before landfall -- until 30 days after when we could return home. In other words, the time we were under mandatory evacuation.

For others, the answer is different.

The people in Chalmette (the area Harry Lee mentions in that Youtube video) were under mandatory evacuation for around 90 days. Even when they could get in, every single home in the whole Parish was damaged or destroyed. For those folks, "during Katrina" meant months and months.

Here's the kicker... Many people are still struggling to get back into the houses they had before the storm. For them, "Katrina" is still going on.

A day later, Jordan went on to say:

If you're not following me on Twitter, here's some of what you're missing

What, you think you can do better? Go ahead.

Just a quick look at some top Google results for "during Katrina"

Documents Reveal FEMA Mistakes During Katrina (NPR)

President Bush concedes mistakes during Katrina, but says fed action not slow (Nola.com)

How Condi Rice Spent the Storm: Shopping During Katrina (Counterpunch)

The fight to save patients during Katrina (Dateline NBC)

McCain Compares Obama To Bush During Katrina. Right. (Jack & Jill Politics)

FEMA computers hampered during Katrina (PhysOrg.com)

Police Coping with Stress During Katrina Efforts (NPR)

It was Heroism, Not Homicide, During Katrina (Time)

Looking Back at the White House During Katrina (LA Progressive)

Notice any pattern there? Do you think they were all saying "during the actual landfall of Hurricane Katrina, and at no point beyond"? Or did they mean "during the storm and its aftermath"?

When it comes to finding a way to slam the Bush administration, "during Katrina" apparently spans the period between the beginning of time and after we're all dead. But if Bobby Jindal says it, all of a sudden it's his fault for not running outside right that minute and wrestling the hurricane to the ground.

Katrina was a gigantic mess, and there were a lot of mistakes and incompetence during it. There's plenty of blame to go around. But it sounds to me like Jindal did better than most. Nitpicking over his use of "during Katrina" is simply a bad-faith effort to smear a guy you don't like because of the color of his party affiliation. If you do it you should be ashamed of yourself, which is of course why you're not.

Once again:

Apparently, by strangling democracy

How to get Michelle Obama's toned arms

Somebody get Zachary Roth his meds

Based on this, it sounds like he's headed for another breakdown.

Hey, did you know that Katrina ended the minute after the storm passed?

Boy, TPM Muckraker really hedged their bets with this headline about Jindal's post-Obama speech on Tuesday night:

Jindal Admits Katrina Story Was False

And why was it false? According to TPM's Zachary Roth:

Jindal had described being in the office of Sheriff Harry Lee "during Katrina," and hearing him yelling into the phone at a government bureaucrat who was refusing to let him send volunteer boats out to rescue stranded storm victims, because they didn't have the necessary permits. Jindal said he told Lee, "that's ridiculous," prompting Lee to tell the bureaucrat that the rescue effort would go ahead and he or she could arrest both Lee and Jindal.

But now, a Jindal spokeswoman has admitted to Politico that in reality, Jindal overheard Lee talking about the episode to someone else by phone "days later." The spokeswoman said she thought Lee, who died in 2007, was being interviewed about the incident at the time.

This is no minor difference.

Of course not. Everybody knows that the event we now refer to as "Katrina" was strictly limited to the brief period of time when Louisiana residents could actually reach up and touch the hurricane. After that, the crisis was over! There were no problems at all. (And if there were, nobody directly blamed George Bush for any of them.) So for Jindal to say "during Katrina," when it was actually up to a week later according to Ben Smith at Politico, is obviously the basest, most contemptible sort of lie.

I don't know much about Jindal, and by all accounts his speech was excruciating. (I tried to watch some of it, but it was too awkward. He seems to be the inverse of Obama, in that he's much better at speaking extemporaneously than reading from a teleprompter. Which seems like a good thing, to me anyway.) But he's certainly on his way to passing one big test of presidential politics: withstanding a desperate, fact-twisting smear campaign. I doubt it'll be the last. Which will give him something to talk about with Palin, at least.

When Olbermann reads the printout of this TPM post on-air tonight, I wonder how many times he'll embellish it with "Sir"?

P.S. And when Obama breaks his daily promise, that's totally not a lie. You just misunderstood what he meant. Now go watch some more NASCAR, dummy.

P.P.S. Thanks to charles_star on Twitter for the tip.

P.P.P.S. Sheriff Lee, on the record:

Partial transcript: "Hurricane Katrina, the day after, Bobby was in my office, said, 'What do you need?' And it wasn't phone calls, he was in my office... I know how involved he was... He was hands-on. I got him everywhere he had to go in my helicopter, and he was there all the time. When the thing was over, he'd got equipment for us. And I said, 'Bobby, where did this new equipment come from? I wanna thank somebody.' And he said, 'I took care of it, don't worry about it.'" I hope nobody shows this to Josh Marshall and Zachary Roth. Might ruin their weekend.

P.P.P.P.S. The shifting definition of "during Katrina."

Speaking of the great Batton Lash

In light of current events, this one seems worth reposting:

That was four months ago.

Told ya so.

Andrew Breitbart is kind to the mentally disabled

He let me repost that Schoolhouse Rock cartoon Batton Lash and I did at Big Hollywood today. Thank you, nice man!

It's all happening on Twitter

Sorry. I've been on it for months, but only really "got" it this week. Hey, Trend Boy! It can be tough to work within the 140-character limi

Still have a job?

Obama saved it for you.

Just a hypothetical

Pretend McCain won last November. A nutty idea, I know, but bear with me. Let's say he won, and tonight he gave a quasi-State of the Union address. And, to deliver the Democratic response: Barack Obama.

And let's say that as Obama walked out to the podium, Sean Hannity said "Ugh, God" on a live mic, to the obvious delight of the crew.

Whaddaya think would happen?

Note to Ace:

If you're reading this, then yes, you can indeed blog from the new Kindle. I tried with the old one and almost threw it across the room. The new GUI still isn't going to impress the Apple drones (sry, AP), typing is laggy because of the E-Ink, and the browser is under the Experimental menu for a reason, but it's doable. Much like your mom.

P.S. Hmm. I wasn't able to actually publish this from the Kindle, but the previous paragraph did get saved in MT. Not sure why that is. Well, Twitter works fine, at least.

Twitter is a huge waste of time

Which is of course the appeal. People keep "following" me there, so now I feel obligated to update it more often. Come share the futility.

Obama Unveils Bold New Plan to Wreck U.S. Economy

Washington, D.C. -- In the midst of plummeting stock markets and a growing undercurrent of discontent among his subjects, President Obama delivered his weekly YouTube address on Saturday. A transcript of his remarks follows:

Hi, everybody. As you all know, the failed policies of the previous administration have plunged us into the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression. If something isn't done immediately, every single citizen of the United States may soon die.

I have a plan.

I'm very proud to announce the establishment of a new government agency called the Monetary Uniformity Group. This agency will put people to work performing a simple but effective task: Americans who are currently [mimes scare quotes] "earning" too much money will be relieved of all excess cash -- by force only if necessary -- after which it will be gathered up, bundled into thick, heavy bales, and thrown into a wood chipper.

Now, I know what some of you are thinking, but please keep in mind that this plan is flexible. It could be some sort of industrial shredder instead. Or the money might be incinerated with flamethrowers, or weighed down with lead and dropped into the deepest part of the ocean. There are any number of options. The whole idea is to get that money moving away from people who don't deserve it.

To put it in terms someone like you might be able to understand: Look at your neighbor. Is it fair that he has a nicer car than you? A bigger TV? A younger, more physically fit wife or girlfriend? Well, then, let's see how he likes it when I grab his wallet and throw it in the wood chipper.

[Smiling, Obama mimes taking a wallet from someone's pocket with his thumb and forefinger, tossing it over his shoulder, and cringing slightly at the imaginary roar of the machine.]

Just picture that. Doesn't it feel good? A minute ago he thought he was soooo great, and now he's all mad because he doesn't have his iddle-widdle wallet. Look at him, he's actually crying. Got something to say, Richie Rich? Yeah, I didn't think so.

Only by following this plan can we restore America to the greatness it has yet to achieve. Remember: You deserve better, which means everybody else deserves worse.

Thank you.

Previously:
Bill Clinton: Obama "Probably Won't Destroy America"

I'm kind of evil, I guess

Thanks for reading, Diggsters:

buried. artist/author is anti-semitic, racist, homophobic, and just otherwise an annoying conservative. don't believe me? go onto his website and read his other comics on spiderman, li'l obama, and barney frank...

Yes, please do!

P.S. Here's the "anti-semitic" one.

We've gone from a president who didn�t inhale to one who doesn�t want us to exhale

Via Tim Blair:

President Barack Obama�s climate czar said Sunday the Environmental Protection Agency would soon issue a rule on regulation of carbon dioxide, finding that it represents a danger to the public.

Here's your bumper sticker...

I want to be a climate czar. I want the climate to swear fealty to me for life. I want to boss around the wind and rain.

Hello to my friends at Digg

Thanks for the link. If you liked that old comic strip, you might like this one too...

WARNING: RUDE LANGUAGE

In the interest of equal time:

Funny stuff! My ox isn't too proud to admit when he's been well and truly gored. Well done.

It's hard to believe they're both of the same species

Kind of like Grandpa Simpson getting schooled by a Charlie's Angel.

I particularly enjoyed Schieffer's bemused, supercilious tolerance of Muccio's dissent against The One. "Yes, folks, this little lady thinks she knows better than the president! Ain't that cute?"

And he actually said that people would like her plan because they'd be "getting something for nothing." How clueless. We're the ones paying for this stuff in the first place! What's wrong with not wanting our money to be wasted?

Oh wait, I forgot the new rule: Misspending is the highest form of patriotism.

Two thousand points of fright

Geraghty says:

On Election Day 2008, the Dow Jones Industrial Average closed at 9,625.

On Inauguration Day 2009, the DJIA closed at 7,949.09...

Why buy stocks in companies that are going to be punished six ways to Sunday by an ever-growing government?

That ain't it. Markets are racist.

Yeah, that's only 100 hookers

The $500,000 Limit Is Not Enough
Four better ways of fixing the CEO pay debacle.
By Eliot Spitzer

With apologies to ABC, legendary vocalist Jack Sheldon, and my childhood

If you didn't grow up in the '70s watching Schoolhouse Rock on Saturday mornings, first watch this:

Then read this:

After the jump!

They're merely formalizing the relationship

Dem exclusive? Reporters jump ship

In three months since Election Day, at least a half-dozen prominent journalists have taken jobs working for the federal government.

Journalists, including some of those who�ve jumped ship, say it�s better to have a solid job in government than a shaky job � or none at all � in an industry that�s fading fast.

It must be such a relief not to have to pretend anymore. To be able to drop the laughable charade of "ethics" and "impartiality." Now they get to do the same job they've been doing, except they're guaranteed a living as long as you and I are still honest enough to pay our taxes. What's the downside?

Top 10 Reasons President Barack H. Obama Is Nothing Like Travis the Chimp

10. Travis understood TurboTax
9. Obama somewhat less likely to attack Biden
8. Travis never lied
7. Obama's smile not quite as genuine
6. Travis could get through entire day without teleprompter
5. Obama takes more long-term approach to destroying people's lives
4. Might actually be possible to get copies of Travis's medical records
3. Obama much better at taking orders from trainer, David Axelrod
2. Travis really didn't befriend William Ayers
1. Obama only talks your ear off

Does this mean we can't start referring to America as a banana republic?

Guess we don't need to worry about Al Sharpton needing to find gainful employment for want of manufactured outrages in this idyllic new post-racial world. Whenever there's a dumb current-events joke that could be construed as racist -- that is, if you really don't have anything else to get angry about, or if you're trying to distract everybody from, say, a broad-daylight power grab by the most corrupt pack of grifters since the Legion of Doom -- Al will be wherever the cameras are.

Oh wait, Gorilla Grodd was in the Legion of Doom, wasn't he? I hereby fire myself from this blog.

And now I just hired myself back at twice the salary ($0.00). I think I've learned my lesson.

A jackboot by any other name

President Obama opposes any move to bring back the so-called Fairness Doctrine, a spokesman told FOXNews.com Wednesday.

Shifting gears, Obama then announced plans for a groundbreaking new policy called the Doctrine of Fairness.

Q. What�s the difference between Jesus and Obama?

A. Jesus could assemble a cabinet.

(thx, andrew)

"Do I get to talk more now?"

Okay, we can all stop pretending it's not really Obama's bill, right? He's got Joe the Genius there for whatever reason, but if he'd wanted anybody else getting the credit on this one, he'd have worked from home instead of going 1,500 miles west and 1 mile up.

It's all yours, Mr. President.

(Alternate headline: "Do you want me to go get some more flags? They got more flags back there, no problem.")

"We've already estabished what you are... now we're just haggling about the price"

Via McCormack at WS:

Chicago Tribune correspondent Jill Zuckman announced yesterday that she will join the Obama administration as assistant to Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood and director of public affairs...

Zuckman becomes at least the fourth reporter to join the Obama administration. Others include former TIME Washington bureau chief Jay Carney who is now Vice President Biden's communications director, former Los Angeles Times reporter Peter Gosselin who is now a speechwriter for Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner, and former Washington Post deputy editor Warren Bass who is an adviser to United Nations Ambassador Dr. Susan Rice.

Former ABC News congressional correspondent Linda Douglass became a senior strategist for the Obama campaign, while other campaign officials included former CNN producer Kate Albright-Hanna and former CNN correspondent Aneesh Raman.

Remember what a big deal it was when Tony Snow became the White House Press Secretary? How terrible it was?

Well, you can hardly blame these people for transitioning into a growth industry: government.

You should've seen when he fought the Green Goyim

Via Ynetnews:

Israeli drivers in Rosh Ha'ayin were met with an unusual sight Sunday evening, when a man dressed as Spider-Man decided to use his superpowers to engage commuters sitting in evening traffic.

Several drivers on the scene called the traffic police hotline to report the superhero's unique participation in the traffic jam. The man leapt from vehicle to vehicle, occasionally attempting to lasso cars with an apparent "web" made of ropes.

Ruble for your thoughts

OBAMA BURNED: GREGG WITHDRAWS AFTER POLICIES TOO MUCH TO STOMACH

Julio the Frycook for White House Press Secretary!

I'm not sure he's much smarter than Robert Gibbs, but he'd sure be a lot more entertaining:

Jake Tapper: In the name of the transparency that you and the president herald so much, is there any way we could get the copies of the waivers that the OMB issues, to allow certain cabinet posts or deputy posts to be free of the ethics contraints you put up? And also, the disclosure forms that your nominees put out that go to the Office of Government Ethics, that somehow they're not able to e-mail or put on the Web. Is there any way we can get copies of those?

Julio: OHHHH, GRACIOUS GOD, THANK YOU FOR ASKING ME THAT!!! [hyperventilates] I do not know what that means at all but I am so proud to represent Obama who is the president! The fact that I am doing this job that I am doing and answering your question is the answer I will give to that! [jumps up and down, whooping and waving baseball hat]

America: Awwww, cute!

It would be awesome. See, you can be as dumb as you want, as long as you worship Obama. Don't ask him anything that might make him look bad, and everybody will love you. You might even get some special oral attention from Keith Olbermann.

But whatever you do, don't go into the plumbing business.

P.S. Dear SNL: When you steal this idea, I'm thinking Sudekis would make a good Tapper. Can't decide between Armisen or Samberg for Julio, though.

England has a new name:

al-Bion.

"We've had a good debate," he says

Here's his idea of a debate:

Obama: I won.
Anybody who disagrees with Obama: Oh.

End of debate!

No, I didn't watch it

He's boring. And any actual information that he accidentally lets slip out hits the Internet within minutes anyway. Sounds like it was just more evasions and outright lies. And a 10-minute answer to a question? What a boob.

P.S.

Oh, I can get a free house now? Awesome. Hey, everybody, we don't need to work anymore. Santa Karl will tax those evil rich pigs and give us anything we want. Just talk to his elves after the townhall meeting.

I will say this: As a president, Obama is a hell of a gameshow host.

Houses of the Holy

Mark Hemingway quotes the NYT on today's campaign stop in Elkhart, IN:

Wrapping himself in the mandate of his election last November, Mr. Obama sounded like a candidate all over again, scolding greedy Wall Street bankers and pointedly rejecting Republican critics for sticking with what he called a failed philosophy. At one point, he spoke about people with as many as five homes, which sounded like a reference to his opponent last fall, Senator John McCain.

Whereas Obama only has three homes: His residence in Chicago, 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue in D.C., and of course the Kremlin.

It's the Barry Hill Show!

(thx, Benny Hillifier)

You Can't Say You Weren't Warned

Hey, remember this one?

This is a man who can give an entire speech about the wars America is fighting, and never use the word "victory" except when he's talking about his own campaign. But when the cloud of rhetoric has passed... when the roar of the crowd fades away... when the stadium lights go out, and those Styrofoam Greek columns are hauled back to some studio lot... what exactly is our opponent's plan?

What does he actually seek to accomplish, after he's done turning back the waters and healing the planet? The answer is to make government bigger... take more of your money... give you more orders from Washington... and to reduce the strength of America in a dangerous world. America needs more energy... our opponent is against producing it.

Victory in Iraq is finally in sight... he wants to forfeit.

Terrorist states are seeking nuclear weapons without delay... he wants to meet them without preconditions.

Al-Qaeda terrorists still plot to inflict catastrophic harm on America... he's worried that someone won't read them their rights? Government is too big... he wants to grow it.

Congress spends too much... he promises more. Taxes are too high... he wants to raise them. His tax increases are the fine print in his economic plan, and let me be specific.

The Democratic nominee for president supports plans to raise income taxes... raise payroll taxes... raise investment income taxes... raise the death tax... raise business taxes... and increase the tax burden on the American people by hundreds of billions of dollars.

As you'll recall, it took some time for Obama to recover from this speech. He spent a week stumbling around, babbling about lipstick on pigs and so forth. (He even whined that she didn't write the whole thing herself!) It took the combined efforts of Tina Fey, Katie Couric, Charlie Gibson, and many, many others to distract us from this prediction. And now here we are, three weeks into the Changiest Hopefest Ever, and it's all happening just like she said.

Told ya so.

(thx, josh)

Misspending is the highest form of patriotism

As our brilliant, highly capable, and not at all embarrassing Vice President once reminded us, paying higher taxes is patriotic. But you know what you can pay that's even more patriotic? Obeisance to our glorious leader:

The details [of the stimulus compromise] were negotiated at an afternoon meeting in the office of the Senate majority leader, Harry Reid of Nevada, involving Mr. Reid, other top Democrats and two Republicans, Susan Collins of Maine and Arlen Specter of Pennsylvania. After they came to terms, the senators brought in the White House chief of staff, Rahm Emanuel, for assurance that the deal was acceptable to the administration. Mr. Emanuel signaled it was�

Mr. Obama called Ms. Collins and Mr. Specter, as well as Senator Olympia J. Snowe of Maine, another Republican expected to support the deal, to acknowledge they were acting against pressure from their party and, one official said, to thank them for their patriotism in helping advance the bill at a critical time.

Please note that the 11 House Democrats who dissented are not patriotic. Obama isn't just the President of the United States; he is the United States. To question him is to question America. And what kind of patriot would do that? It's all very logical when you stop and don't think about it.