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From: hpm Mon Apr 17 16:11:22 1995
Date: Mon, 17 Apr 95 16:11:20 EDT
From: Hans Moravec <hpm@cs.cmu.edu>
05-Oct-86 13:33 J.S.Singh@cive.ri.cmu.edu Cooking a Possum
The following is courtesy of Mike Phillips, who sent it to me several months ago.
Seafood, no matter how prepared, is usually delicious. The essence of the stuff is such that the effort required is never much. Witness here the claims of "raw" and "light sauté" and similar styles that require no skill, only, at most, a skillet. Now I put it to you: What is the best way to prepare the scrumptious north american marsupial: the possum. Though some may say, "fried, baked, boiled," I have to insist the creature must be broiled. The ensuing juices are appropriate for the hair and other items that need to be oiled.
The proper method is to fatten the beast; to clean out its system requires one week at the least. Once the creature acquires a fat lazy manner, hit it center cranium with a hatchet or hammer, which may require additional blows until the skull pops and the brain is exposed (don't assume it's dead because its eyes are closed).
Slit it along the lips to allow the skin to be peeled from the head and neck in one piece. Break the forelegs in several places to remove them without damaging the pelt. Once the "ankles" are exposed, snip through them with lineman's pliers, leaving the footbones and tiny paws attached to the hide. Continue the process until the back legs are removed and you reach the southmost part of the northward pointing carcass. Using the pliers, snip though the joint where the tail attaches to the spine. Thus you have a one piece possum pelt, good for a lady's purse; the pouch is most useful for change and other such items.
Rather than opening the stomach tract to remove the entrails, simply stretch the mouth open wide and slit the muscle holding the jawbones taut. Snip the jaw hinges with your pliers, and force the upper and lower jaws into a 180 degree alignment (not unlike setting a steel trap). With the mouth stretched open wide, reach down its throat and into the stomach with a needle nose pliers. Probe about with the pliers (the index finger will suffice if you have small hands) until the exit is located. With your free hand, insert the nub of the tail into the jaws of the needle nose pliers (between thumb and index finger for the small handed). When the tail is firmly grasped, quickly jerk your arm from its mouth, holding the nose with your free hand. If successful, the possum should now be inside out; it may be necessary to repeat the process several times. Don't worry if you miss the first time; you'll get the hang of it pretty quickly.
The next step is to clean the entrails. This may be done by any of several methods: Most people prefer "dog pulling" and "stump lashing". For the dog pulling method, you need at least one Walker or Black-and-Tan hound, preferably trained to respond to commands. Slip and axe handle through the inverted possum, and let the tip of an intestine dangle several inches. Now have the dog "sit" directly in front of you. Lower the intestine till it dangles just above the dog's nose. Brace yourself, and yell "Get 'im, Buck", assuming your dog is named Buck; otherwise, use the dog's name. As soon as Buck latches ahold of the entrails, he will stiffen his legs and begin to back away, shaking his head from side to side. The beauty of this is that the entrails will pull right off the possum, occasionally creating a spinning motion on the axe handle that, so help me, is not unlike the feeling you get when trying to land a large-mouth bass on a flyrod.
Once cleaned, the possum should have a consistency likened to beef tripe. Re-invert the carcass and insert a metal rod through it; a rear axle from a John Deere 40-20 works best, but I have heard those from a 1956 Studebaker Champion will suffice. You need a square broiling pit built from cement blocks to a height of about 2.5 feet. Fill this pit with dried cow chips and dowse them with corn 'licker'; put an old car door or metal feeder trough over the possum; light the cow chips. Don't fret the roaring flame, for it will last but a minute or two, imparting a crispness to the possum that cannot be had otherwise. Turn the possum 1/4 turn every 15 minutes and cook for about 1.5 hrs, or until the chips stop smoldering. Be careful when turning it, for the metal rod will be quite hot, which is required to cook the possum on the inside. Most folks use two 36 inch pipe wrenches, one on either end, to turn the possum without getting burned; old rags will also work if you move quickly.
By the time the possum is ready, you should have boiled down a bushel of collard greens to get them cooked slippery. In a separate washpot, cook 5 lbs of cornmeal with 1 gallon of buttermilk, 8 eggs, a small box of arm & hammar baking soda, and 6 tablespoons of salt. Assuming you start the whole project at daybreak, it should now be just about noon. Go wash your face and hands, get a bowl, and combine one cup collard greens and one cup crumbled cornbread; tear off strips of possum about 1/2 inch wide and use them to scoop the mush from the bowl. This, my friends, is good eatin' in any language, but to do it right you should be sitting under a mossdraped live oak with mosquitoes buzzing in your ears and gnats crawling around the perimeter of your mouth lapping up the possum grease that invariably runs down your chin.
Now I know what you're thinking at this point: "Is it really worth all that trouble." To this I must respond with an unqualified yessirbuddy. But you must remember that the success of the entire recipe depends on fresh possum. Whatever you do, don't be foolish enough to try it with Mrs. Paul's frozen possum, for the texture and taste are not of a high quality. Enjoy.
BTW: If you're ever in Eutaw Springs, S.C., stop by Vernon DeLauder's AMOCO station and get some possum dip, a possum sandwich, or a piece of his fast becoming famous possum pizza. Hear tell it's downright bodacious.
This appears on the World Wide Web at http://www.frc.ri.cmu.edu/~mcm/possum.html
Martin C. Martin <mcm@cs.cmu.edu>
