Ep. 1- "Serenity"

2008-10-22T04:34:13Z

READY?
YES.
BRB, lemme get my DVDs.
okay, are you watching it on hulu?
oh ok
No.
BRB.
k
I might only be able to watch the first hour, is that okay?
you mean of serenity?
yeah fine
brb too
WTF HULU
UGH HANG ON
Okay.
REady whenever you are.
sorry, my internet is being fucky
OK NOW
WAIT.
OK
OK GO.
There is battling happening.
mal i missed you so much
And I have never before now realized how obviously they are in a studio.
Oh look, he leaped on the ground.
zoe looks amazing all battly
Yes, I know.
BENDIS.
loooooool
Remember when he like, dies in slomo?
ahahah mal the christiannnn
We have done the impossible, and that makes us mighty!
YOU HOLD.
BENDIS YOU FUCKER
Zoe is shooting shit.
Yes goddamn
i love zoe so much
Me too.
She is such a fucking badass.
It makes me feel like less of a feminist, watching her.
lol their budget was so low
why?
I'm half kidding.
But like, she is so badass, that I'm like, dang, I need to learn how to shoot shit with a giant gun.
hahahahaha
OH SHIT GIANT SHIP.
i'm a little ahead of you
I think so.
I had to wait for my DVD to load.
we are so very pretty. we are just too pretty for good to let us die.
Hehehe, you're only ahead of me by like a second.
They're not coming!
my heart just breaks for him here omg
look at his faaaaace
I know!
He worked so hard!
And then Bendis gets shot in slomo.
lol bendissss
HI JAYNE
HAHAHA.
Jayne in a spacesuit.
i missed everyone so much shae
I know!!
Gimme the sticky!
I really wanna know how that shit works.
YESSSSS
YESSSSS
WAAAAAAAAAAASH.
(ooomg i can't wait for dollhouse)
(me toooo shae we are going to diiiiie)
(fandoooooooom)
KAYLEEE FHGHGFHDG
(lesbian eliiiiizzaaaaa)
WAIT PAUSE
Wait I'm not there yet!!!
Wait, did you pause?
NOW
The vid
oOkay.
Ijust paused on Kaylee saying she couldn't get down.
What did we pause it for?
phone
Okay.
ok go
Went.
Large spaceship.
DORTMUNDER
yes
their uniforms suck
It's what's his name!
Andy Umberger!
what
Skip and Clem and like everyone ever!
Creepy hand doctor.
OH
clemmmmmmmmmm
And also captain of this ship.
nathan's nose is so big
I knowwwwwwww.
his nostrils are like saffron's boobs
He should have played Boromir and Faramir's retarded brother.
YES
LOLOL
HAHAHA.
Oh look, it's the crybaby.
Crew, you ah so smart.
they are all such huge losers
I know.
They're like, lookit that trick we pulled!
PRETTY SPACESHIP.
Hang on travelers!
oh jayne
I know, right.
TAKE MY LOVE
TAKE MY LAND
SHAE I AM GOING TO CRY
TAKE ME WHERE I CANNOT STAND
I KNOW ME TOO
NARAAAAAAA.
ugh freeze
What?
ok now
i am good
my comp froze a little
What part of the credits are you on?
riiiiiiiiiiiverrrrrrrrrrrr
Okay, Ijust paused
end of credits.
now i am there
we have to sync up again.
Ok go
kaylee
I know, rite.
I like to meet new people!
i love my captain!
wash and zoe have so much sex
I know.
Like, 4 times a day.
i agree
I think it's Zoe, honestly.
Wash is like goddamn, again, woman?
hahaha
And Zoe's like CAPTAIN'S ORDERS.
inara i am so excited dfgfdhfg
WE HAVE TO STAY RELAXED.
pause
SEEEEX.
I'm paused right on that sez.
*sex
Okay, what's up?
Are you still paused?
11:03 PM
ugh sorry britt showed up
where are you?
I'm right in the middle of Inara's sex.
ok
Go?
sec
ok i am at sex
shinon isn't that different from this planet
Hhhahaha.
SIHNON.
are you there?
Remember how much we talked about Sihnon?
Yup/
yes.
inara stop looking like me
YOU ARE HER CHILD.
That boy is ass ugly.
i know inara what are you doing girl
i love it when she flies the shuttle
Piloting shit!
I know, right
?
wash and inara bff
Truth.
yeah me too
nakammmmmmma
Mmmmmm, tasty.
persephone!
lol a black kid
PS, did I tell you that Kayla desperately wants to come to part of comic con with us?
oh yeah, she's welcome to
She's such a closet geeks.
It's hilarious.
She's an actress who interns at W magazie.
*magazine
lol
COMPRESSION COIL.
FUNNY HAT
Except then we bonded because we both know who Mara Jade is?
I LOVE HERRRR
What do you think Wash says to Zoe?
be safe
ilu
Damn.
BOOOOOK.
I was hoping that no one knew and that secretly it was something inappropriate.
So Kayla wants to dress up as Sailor Moon.
Or one of the others.
i mean that's what i think
Oooh.
badgerrrr
I want him to have said, like, hey, maybe later we can try out that new strap-on.
hahahaha
geico gecko
Who do you think would wear it?
zoe
YES.
of course
Hahaha.
Wash likes his anal sex secretly.
First gorram of the show!
second
Oh right.
i don't get people who ship jayne/anyone
Me either!
Except like Jayne/Badger.
THAT would be hilarious.
YES
poor mal. he has ptsd so bad.
Truth.
He's having flashbacks. Right now.
In fact Nathan is Strasberging it.
Sense memory.
Of like, when his cat died in real life.
His cat was named Bendis.
hahahahaha
when joss didn't call him one day
Hahahaha, truth.
KAYLEEBRELLA.
she is really one of the best female characters ever.
Truth.
And,.... strawberry erotica.
jayne you're such a tard
ilu
blue sun poster!
Oh man!
Worldbuilding!
So intense!
yeah she did a bit hahahaha
Hahahah.
RIVERRRRRRRR.
simon dhsafdsfagsd
ahahahahahaha
plz b careful w/ my sister k
HIS GLASSES.
WHAT IS DOING OH SIMON
I CANNOT DEAL.
HAHAHA HE LOOKS LIKE A MORMON MISSIONARY
I KNOW.
LIKE THE ONES THAT COME TO YOUR HOUSE.
zoe should be captain she is smarter
True.
YES
She's like HW
She gets shafted a lot.
shoot em. politely.
Hahaha, just wait until Mal starts peeing in jars.
LOOOOOOOOOOL
You know it happens.
inara is like khep
Hahah, yes.
come in with the milk zoe
HAHAHAHAHA.
YES.
the kitchen
my sister iz i nthe cargo bay
simon you are never not going to be hilarious
YES
hey you.
Hey you.

I think I may like, own her shawl.
SHUT UP MAL
OH MAL.
YOUR SOCIAL GRACES ARE LACKING, MAL.
Myself... and Kaylee.
Sexing.
yes.
In my hot tub.
You know she has one.
BETWEEN YO' LEGS.
it's like a traditional japanese bathtub
sunken
AAAGH KAYLEE.
omg
yooooou
This is my face every time I eat a strawberry.
No lie.
Hahaha, I love Book SO MUCH.
mal is such a jerk
He has rosemary!!
aww jayne
Truth.
Kaylee looks so awkward when she's gracing.
jayne just wants to be book's friend
She's like, um, should I be doing this?
Yes!
he's like, hey, gym buddy!
inara needs to eat with them
I know man.
Family dinner!
Hahaha.
mal, pot kettle black
lubed up hahahahahasdf
Did you know that literally for MONTHS I thought he said "Little Kaylee just wishes SHE was a gynecologist?"
mommy mal is angry
hahahahaha
Like, literally.
I was like, is Joss outing her?
And then I read the subtitles.
HAHAHA.
oh inara
PAUSE
k
i paused at her face as she's bathing
Okay, hold on.
k
I;m there, GO.
k
I want that bracelet.
Oh awkwardtown.
i'm a little behind you
Okay hold on.
I paused RIGHT after he says "If you'd prefer a lecture."
ok i'm there
should i go?
Oh wait, I played.
Now I'm paused again. :
Inara jus said thank you.
sec
ok
Go.
inara is making me miss my long hair
Kaylee is making me miss mine.
MAL IS PEEING.
oh mal
such a mystery truly
i think i see a pic of his parents
Ahaha, I just noticed the fucking altar by his bed.
Do youthink Inara set it up?
lol, Maylore.
*Maylorie
MOLE.
wait
it froze hang on
Okay, I have mine paused right after he punched Simon.
ughhhhh
i need to refresh
S'okay.
i need to get my dvds for tomorrow
I can wait.
Yusss.
i want to write inara and iroh bffing
they would get along so well
Hahah, they would.
They could be in steam baths together.
drinkin' tea
being asian
Totes.
ok go
Indeed.
go?
Okay, I have it paused right after Simon said tell who?
ok i am there
got no time for games what do they know
Okay, go.
ok
Oh Book.
everyone is smarter than mal
Truth.
This is not my best day ever.
ugh dobson
he comes back in those left behind
Hehehe, seriously?
i thought he died?
yeah
LAWMAN.
no mal just shot his eye out?
LORD FAUNTLEROY!!!
LOOOOOOOOL
I never noticed that until now!!!
simon is such a pansy
I know.
hence, he is SO GAY.
i love him dearly, but really.
KAYLEEEEEE.
I love how Inara is such a lez in these moments.
inara is most upset!
I love how she gives K her robe.
Are you askin' me to dance?
Mei-mei!!!
Awwwww.
I love that she says "It's okay baby."
it's okay mei mei
oh she said baby?
Are you sure it's mei mei?
I think it's baby.
no you're right
kayleeeeeeeee
'Cause she said mei mei earlier.

This scene kills me.
Literally every time.
everyone loves her so much
I know.
HAHA SIMON'S FACE.
TEDDY.
Seriously, look at his fucking face.
he looks like fucking sylar from heroes
hahaha.
I love how Jayne is watching from outside like alittle boy.
kaylee iz hiz fren
Lolllls.
why do people ship simon/jayne
I don't know.
ewww
NAKED LADDYYYYYYY.
RIVER KIRRYN RIVER
IN A BOX.
I love how that was your reaction, and that was mine.
And that was Mal's.
Oh, man, Summer, you were just SO naked in this scene.
Like, there is no way to get around her nakedness.
she is pretty damn naked but this makes me cry
I know.
Look how she was shaking!!
I love this part.
Right here.
me too
This whole monologue.
I AM BERY SMART.
hahah, Meredith wishes she could finish her internship in that time
looooooooooool
Tongue!
I think that might be one of my favorite of Summer's choices.
river breaks my heart so much shae
i can't even
I know.
Oh river oh I love riverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
i still haven't seen the r.tam sessions
They're CRAZY.
i am really afraid they would just break me entirely
They like, scared the shit out of me.
She is so creepy and amazing.
Oh, Book.
mal why are you such a dick
and i love you anyway
I kno rite
wash's eyelashes are blonde
i find that so hot
His body is blonde.
Oh Mal.
WE DON'T VOTE ON MY SHIP
You hate democracy.
mal is john mccain
IT IS NOT THE RUTTING TOWN HALL.
Hahaha, yes.
Saffron is Sarah Palin.
yes
BOOK IS OBAMA
JAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJAJa.
That was me needing to laugh so hard that I hit the wrong letter.
I want to hear Book talk about change.
simon gets hit a lot.
much like giles falls down a lot.
Hahahahahahahahah YES.
We should rewatch Buffy and Angel after this.
hahahah oh man
we'll see
Except only the good eps.
like, we can't watch fucking Bad Eggs.
Ever.
Again.
IAWTC
pain is scary
Hahaha.
I feel like River has rubies up her vag.
The way this dude is talking about her.
her period is rubies
Hahahh.
We are TERRIBLE.
Oh, Lawrence.
I can't even IMAGINE Jayne as captain of anything.
OMG
Let alone his own ship.
Thank god that did not work out.
he's captain of his bathtub every night!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahah!
with lt. rubber ducky!
Absolutely.
He watches the pirate video.
this is canon.
All the time.
Yes it it.
*is
READING PARTY
READING PARTY.
Holy shit did we both just have that reaction simultaneously?
yes.
Awesometown.
pauseeee
wait no
it's ok
Shit, pause.
ok
Where are you?
they'll rape us to death, eat out flesh
Okay.
go?
I am at Simon walking away.
Wide shot.
almost there
ok now
Okay.
sleepy river?

Yes.
INARA WHAT IS THAT
GODDMAN
I KNOW RITE.
We will never know.
i think just something to kill her
It is like the great mystery of Firefly.
like when astronauts have black pills
I read somewhere that it's like something to poison anyone who tries to rape her.
Like, it burns their peen off or something.
Black pills?
for suicide
i like the rape poison idea tho
Oh, I did not know this.
Me too.
Kaylee is SO DOPED UP RIGHT NOW.
she's so adorable
It's hilars.
I wanna see her and Wash get high together.
WRITE IT.
ok
Me high is probs what Kaylee would be like high.
awww mal caled her mei mei
Awwwww.
Remember when I texted you and was like I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
hahaah which time
When I was high that first time?
oh yeah hahaha
I just found it on my phone.
HAHAHA I JUST REALIZED THAT THAT SAME SHOT IS IN RENT.
OF THE HAND.
kaylee's very dear to me, because we have sex. a lot.
In my tub.
simon is a virgin.
true canon fact.
Yes.
He never even has sex with K.
simon gets so much more attractive after this episode
Hahah, this is the greatest moment ever.
YESSSSSSSSSSSS
HAHAHAHAHA.
HE IS, SIMON.
HE ISSSS
I'M A BAD MAN
I love how hilared they all are by this.
PATIENCE AHAHAHAHA
OLD LESBIAN
10/22/08
hahahahahahaha
geez mal
mind your ptsd
i forgot how funny this show was
Hahaha.
And LOL at Patience being an old lesbian.
SO true.
Okay PAUSE
k
I just paused at the blackout right after the shot of Lawrence.
same
Need the rest of my salad.
hold up.
hahaha ok
Hey now, don't lol my salad.
it is the epic badass of most salads.
is this the superfood one
No, unfortch.
But it is jsut as good!
Here is what's in it;
Mixed baby greens and fresh herbs that I got from Collins' Food Emporium.
mmmmm
lololol collins
(which, did Imention is across the street from me?)
the only good thing about rent
awesome
and then carrots
and chickpeas
and egg
and cheddar cheese
all topped with Newman's Own Balsamic Vinaigrette.
Best. Salad.
Ever.
Except that other awesome one that I make.
minus carrots, yes.
Ew, I forgot you don't like carrots.
Lamoe.
Carrots add important texture!
And vitamin A
but they are gross and ewwy!
Well, so are mushrooms.
So ther.e
untroooooo
So true.
Okay, let's play again.
Ready
Set
GO.
it's like i'm finally coming into my hobbitness after many years. i am freaking obsesed
ok
WHITEFALL
One day I will like mushrooms too.
INDEED.
Where thehell did tehy film this?
UTAH
SERIOUSLY?!
no.
Damn.
HAHAHA.
I love this part!!
Oh Jayn.
*Jayne
zoe loves jayne
She loves him like Willow loves Angel.
yes
i feel like tara genuinely loves him though
Yeah.
'Cause she's Tara.
Jayne just went running away like he was wearing a diaper.
he is.
depends is good for long trips.
hahahaha that' not funny why am i laughing
re: book
I'm laughing too.
It's because he tries to be good!
And kind!
And gets beaten for it!
patience and her lover cindy
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU.
one of those men is not a men
Seriously?
no.
Oh, wait.
Okay, I get it.
aww, kaylee
Shut up.
i like how that's an insult
Hahaha.
LOOK AT MY PISTOL.
I love the way she bites it.
Riverrrrrrr.
Aww, K.
riverrrrrrrr
kay, at this moment, there is not a single person who can like Dobson.
Like, literally.
i hate him he has no redeeming qualities
I know.
like good villians do
He's like, I'll just beat a preacher, and shoot a tiny little mechanic.
TWO-FRY.
FAVE.
YES
oh wash, everyone's buddy
I know.
He's like a counselor.
He secretly has a degree in psychology.
i agree
oh god my otp sense are tingling
oh wash/zoe
I know man.
is riv wearing inara's robe?
yeah.
GIMME MAH MONEH BITCH.
lol horses that never appear again
Truth.
Okay, wait.
Later, Book says that he beat a lawman senseless?
When on earth does he do that?
idk
Is it just him trying to be tough and pretend like he fought back before Lawrence knocked him out?
hahahaha maybe
so much sexual tension
omgomg
I know rite.
Kaylee's room!
Oh Wash.
wash you are so attractive
Kaylee's adorably barefoot.
Awww, KK.
Kaylee's so badass.
i love her so much.
I know.
this ep is like secretly all about kaylee and how awesome she is
Truth.
I cannot understand those in the world who don't like Kaylee.
i don't think anyone dislikes kayle?
They do exist.
I've heard people say she's annoying.
fandom or irl?
Both.
ew.
Right?
Oh, show!
KAYLEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
I have such a soulbond with her, I can't even...
i know sweetie
HAHAHA WASH.
ahahaahhahaa
his flying turns her on so much
Like I said, it's Zoe wanting to sex, all the time.
Hahah, it's true.
The young doctor.
It sounds like a Dostoevsky novel.
i love this scene
See?
he lies!
aww he's trying to impress her
Hahaha.
Oh, Book.
Sweetie, it's gonna be okay!
benedictionnnnnn
I KNOW .
fuck i love this show
Gorg shot.
I KNOW.
THIS SCENE.
Okay Jayne, yeah right.
because jayne iz frenz wif the crew
hahahah, he just like intentionally beat Simon.
america's pasttime
Oh Mal, stop trying to be tough and seduce Simon.
It's just a graze! I'll stitch it up without anesthetic.
ow my heart
I KNOW.
SO FANTASTIC
Okay, I have to do oodles of work and sleep now.
okay
But this convo is going on tbfo.
hahaha we watched it all, sorry
It's okay.
what about violetowls
that's our new one
Okay, we'll do that.
ok
And then we'll post the ones for every ep we watch.
YES
oh man
Seriously.
this was so fun
Truth.
And made me sane again.
I feel home.
same
me too.
Okay, I love you.
ilu 2
A thousand times goodnight!
hey shae?
Yeah?
WHERE'S I-NARA????
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.
I totes thought you were going to say something profound.
THAT IS PROFOUND
BEEETCH
"he sexed me, 'nara! he sexed me real good!"
yessssssss
I feel proud of being responsible for its wisdom.
I am obviously sagelike.
obvs
Alright.
Goodnight for reals now.
ok post this
Yes.
goodnight

At some point I will actually edit this to make it say who said what. For now, I am tired, and this will do.

kicking it old school since 2004

Ep. 1- "Serenity"