ok so being a parent IS really hard but not the way you think. well its probably hard the way you think but its ALSO really hard because my toddler pronounces peanut butter like "peepee yaya". and see, because he learns from me, i can't say "peepee yaya", no matter how much i want to, because i have to teach him that it is actually pronounced "peanut butter". and dont even get me started on how he pronounces "shaun the sheep" (shit the shit)

ALT

i have some follow-up questions???

Just found out this hobby I got into is actually leftist, so engaging in it’s effectively the same as taking action.

When I respond the most popular item on a poll its because my opinions are smart and correct and well reasoned and when I respond the least popular item on a poll its because I'm wise and subversive and not afraid to go against the grain

people who play modded minecraft are truly doing it like no other

Literally every single Neuroscience guy I listen to on audiobooks and podcasts: Multitasking is a lie. You are not more efficient. You're just rapidly switching between tasks and doing all of them slower but your brain is tricking itself into thinking it's more efficient because you get a little dopamine reward when you activate the 'change task' neurons. And you're burning up way more glucose in the process, leaving you more tired with less done. STOP MULTITASKING. JUST DO ONE THING. PLEASE IT'S ONLY WORSENING YOUR ATTENTION SPAN. WE'RE BEGGING YOU, PLEA--

My ADHD: Don't listen to them, babydoll. You are sooooooo efficient and attractive. Whoop. You got an email. Whoop you got a text. Whoop you got a blog ask. WOW look at all the tabs open on this window. Do you even remember what they're all for? Better look through them and close the ones you're not using because you're soooo sexy and efficient. Whoop, email again.

i love shadow's forever idenity crisis bc no it's not bc of the biolizard. no its not bc of the memory loss. no it's not because of the shadow androids and no its not becuase of the alien half. you see he was made to be THE guy. but while he was asleep THE THE guy just showed up. its like if you carved a rock to be michelangelo's david and then you just found a rock somewhere that naturally formed as michelangelo's david but like cooler and better and it doesnt need the base to stand and the untrained eye can't tell the difference but you (michelangelo's david) can absolutely tell

I'm mister spine twister. I'm mister curves. I'm mister scoliosis. I'm mister Sitting Hurts

Story idea:

Two schoolkids who are best friends get annoyed about everyone assuming that they're dating just because one of them is a boy and the other one is a girl. Then it occurs to them that both of them are being raised by a single parent, so if they managed to introduce their parents to each other and they get together, that would make them step-siblings, so every time someone asked if they're together together, they could just go "eww wtf that's my brother/sister."

So they start making elaborate plans on how to get their parents to date each other. At no point does it cross either of their minds that they could have just lied about being cousins or something.

Things you can stay instead of "k1lled", "murked" or "unalived":

1. involuntarily converted to room temperature
2. cancelled on a corporeal level
3. successfully transitioned into fertiliser
4. rendered permanently horizontal
5. sent to investigate the potential existence of an afterlife

ALT

we should call it this again