his eenie

rubyawake @ 2007-09-22T06:40:00

2007-09-22T12:47:39Z

This is my nursing story for adopt_a_mom, a community that pairs "experienced" moms with new moms who may need breastfeeding help. So feel free to skip this.:)

Breastfeeding has never been a choice for me, rather it's just something I knew I would do, without a doubt. My mom nursed me until I self-weaned at two, and I grew up thinking that breastfeeding was a normal, healthy way to feed one's baby. However, I'll admit that, despite all the reading I did, I never imagined that it might not be easy. I had a fairly easy birth. I was in labor for 20 hours, but I was able to have the natural birth I wanted, thanks to an incredibly supportive midwife and doula.
From the beginning, nursing was a struggle. Luke did not want to eat. I was able to have skin to skin contact pretty quickly after he was born, and Louise [our doula] helped me try to nurse him, but he just refused. We gave up after awhile and I let them take him to the nursery to get cleaned. When they brought him back, Louise and I tried again to get him to eat, but he wouldn't. It continued like this through most of Tuesday [the day he was born]. Because he was a big baby, they were testing his blood sugar every four hours, and his blood sugar was always fine. However, on Wednesday, he continued to refuse to eat. By this point, I was getting really frustrated and feeling like a huge failure. When Louise stopped by to check on me, she told me not to worry, that even if he never, ever latched on, I could still breastfeed with bottles. Still, the nurses were stressing me out a LOT. I know it's their job and they want babies to eat, but I feel like it was somewhat detrimental to me getting him to eat, simply because I was so tense. Every two hours, someone would come in and ask if he had eaten, and every two hours, I'd have to tell them that no, he still really wasn't eating much. He would maybe latch on a little bit, but then he'd stop. One of the nurses said, If he doesn't eat more soon, we'll have to start testing his blood sugar again. The way she said it came across as accusatory to me, and it just made me sob because I was TRYING SO HARD. I wanted nothing more than to feed my child successfully, and it wasn't working. Unfortunately, the lactation consultant was off on Wednesday, so I just had various nursery nurses helping, some of whom were a little forceful and made me feel like a monster when he'd scream his head off at me. I finally broke down and let them put glucose water and formula on my nipple to attempt to get him to latch. I really didn't want to do that, but I just felt so hopeless at this point. However, he wasn't interested in either.
At about 9 that night, I had a nurse who was a little more gentler with Luke and me. We were able to get him to latch for about 10 minutes and eat a little. I was thrilled! She actually stayed past the end of her shift at 11 to get him to eat again, and he ate much better. At this point, I was utterly exhausted. I didn't sleep much at all on Tuesday night because of endorphins and because Shane [my husband] was snoring so freaking loud ;p, and I obviously didn't sleep at all Monday night, while in labor. I trusted the nurses enough to know that they weren't going to give him formula, so I let them take him to the nursery, and I took a pain pill. A new, but very calm and gentle nurse brought him in to me at 3. I had three hours of sleep, plus I was really relaxed from the pill. I was able to get him latched on to both breasts, and he ate for an hour! She came back in at 4 and took him back to the nursery. A new nurse brought him in at 7, and I was again able to feed him for an hour.

In hindsight, I know that I let the nurses on Wed stress me out way too much. They made me tense, which I am sure Luke sensed. Neither my midwife nor Luke's pediatrician were overly concerned on Wednesday, so I should have taken that as a sign. Sheryl's comment was that he was stubborn coming in to this world, so she wasn't surprised that he was stubborn about eating. His pediatrician just said, he's not jaundiced, he's a good sized baby, blood sugar's fine, you could probably leave him on a rock for two days, and when you returned, he'd be fine. I can understand some amount of stress about a baby who is not eating well, but they knew I was staying until Thursday. They also knew that he'd barely lost any of his birth weight. I just feel like treating me like I was inept or making accusatory statements about having to start checking his blood sugar again was the worst thing they could've done to help us establish a feeding relationship. Also, one of the nurses tried to get my parents to leave the room before we tried to feed him, which rubbed me the wrong way. She acted as if it was something that I'd need privacy for, when I would think a pro-breastfeeding hospital would want to support how natural it is. When she did that, I just said, They were here when he was born, I would like them to stay. It helped to have my mom there to calm me down a little, honestly. She just said, Oh. Fine. The dichotomy between nurses was incredible. We either had fabulous nurses or ones who seemed to not care at all.

When we left the hospital, Luke continued to nurse well. The first night home, co-sleeping made all the difference. I got into bed with him in my underwear and just held him against my body, letting him nurse when he needed, letting us both sleep when he wasn't. It was all new to us, but it felt so right. For the next two days, he continued to nurse well, and then my milk came in. Rather, it came flooding in with the force of fire hose. Suddenly, we were back where we started. I was engorged, and he couldn't latch. I would hand express milk before every feeding, but still, he'd choke and splutter and refuse to nurse. I have a clear memory of sitting on the floor of the guest bedroom with my husband using the manual breastpump on my painfully engorged breasts. At this point, Luke hadn't nursed in so long, and while I knew that pumping would only cause my breasts to fill back up, I needed the relief. We pumped and fingerfed some to Luke, allowing us to get a few hours sleep. The next day, my husband returned to work, and my mom came over. With her help, I was able to get Luke to eat a little bit better, though he was still choking on my letdown. After this, my right nipple became cracked and bloody. My right breast was always fuller, so he had a harder time latching. I ended up biting into my cheek pretty hard to keep from screaming when he'd latch, but every day, it got a little better. We mastered sidelying nursing, which made all the difference. Things went swimmingly until Luke was three months and got his first tooth. Three months is fairly early in terms of teething, so when he began biting, I was unsure of what to do. Most of the tips I read seemed as though they'd work for older babies, yet it was hard to make a three month old understand not to bite. Still, I wasn't about to give up, so I kept at it. Unfortunately, his biting did give me a milk blister, which led to a plugged duct, which then led to mastitis. I was able to make it through mastitis without antibiotics, though I did run a fever for two days and was more sore than I ever thought possible. At 7 months, Luke has six teeth, with number seven on the way, but after a lot of hard work, he hardly bites anymore.

When Luke was six months, I returned to work full-time. It hasn't been easy. I'm a teacher, so I have very scheduled breaks, and unfortunately, my first break is not until noon (I leave for work at 6:20). My first break is lunch, so I've mastered pumping and eating at the same time. By the time noon rolls around, I'm usually very engorged, but my supply did take a bit of a hit due to going all night without nursing, then another 6 hours without nursing. However, I take enough Fenugreek that I smell like I'm drowning in maple syrup, but I am able to pump just enough to meet his needs. My second break is only two hours after the first, so I don't get quite as much with that pumping session, but it works. It's definitely not ideal. I'd like to take three pump breaks a day, and I'd like to be able to space them so they more accurately reflected his nursing patterns, but I don't have a choice in the matter. I'd be a liar if I said it wasn't stressful and tiring having to use the two breaks a day that I get hooked up to a breast pump, but I know it's worth it...and I know it isn't forever. I'm proud of myself for what I'm doing for Luke, and my husband emails me at least once a day to remind me how great he thinks I am. Whenever I get discouraged, I think of all the benefits, of how proud I am that he's the only baby at the sitter being fed breastmilk!

I feel like I've been nursing forever because it seems like such an old routine, yet I also know that tomorrow brings us something new. As he gets older and more mobile, nursing is becoming more and more acrobatic. I can hardly wait to see what the future brings.:)

rubyawake @ 2007-08-19T11:41:00

2007-08-19T17:02:10Z

More makeup for sale, so skip if not interested!:)

Unless stated, the pigments are all in MAC jars. Not always the original pigment jar, but MAC pigment jars nonetheless.
Some of these are LE or pro pigments, so I've priced a little higher than others.
I'm probably way underestimating on the amount left, but unless it's clearly half full, then I'm erring on the side of caution!
Prices include shipping, and I can take paypal to sparklingerin@hotmail.com
100% positive on MUA & ebay.
If I do not hear from you within 24 hours, I will assume you're not interested.
Pigments

Top L-R
~~Pinked Mauve 50% $10~~
Fuchsia 10-15% $8
Apricot Pink 50% $10
Shimmertime 15% $6
Lily White 30% $8
~~Gold Dusk 55% $11~~

Bottom L-R
~~Golder's Green 35% $7~~
~~Pastorale 50% $10~~
~~Teal 15-20% $7~~
~~Nightlight 50% full $10~~
Cocomotion full 5g sample $7
Copperized...full 5g sample jar $7

Eyeshadows

~~MAC Summer Neutral $7~~

Lightly used, slight dip in corner. This is half-depotted...the pan isn't all the way out, to make shipping safer.
MAC Bateau $7

As shown, there is a chip, but otherwise lightly used. This is half-depotted...the pan isn't all the way out, to make shipping safer.

Liquidlast Liners, $10 each, both lightly used.
Aqualine & Dress Khaki

Lip Products

L-R
Pink Meringue l/g 80-90% $7
Pink Maribu l/s 5x $10
Orangedescence l/g 80-90% $7
Rouge Noir l/s 1X $10
Damzel l/g BNIB $11

Fancy Ray Blushcreme $6
The plastic casing pops out, but you can snap back in before closing so they won't dry. Usage shown.

Clinique Black Honey gel liner $10

Laura Mercier Emerald Green cake liner...can be used wet or dry. Lightly used $7

Laura Mercier Canyon Creme Cheek Colour, used 1X $7

rubyawake @ 2007-08-09T16:07:00

2007-08-09T22:05:30Z

Unless stated, the pigments are all in MAC jars. Not always the original pigment jar, but MAC pigment jars nonetheless.
Some of these are LE or pro pigments, so I've priced a little higher than others.
I'm probably way underestimating on the amount left, but unless it's clearly half full, then I'm erring on the side of caution!
Prices include shipping, and I can take paypal to sparklingerin@hotmail.com
100% positive on MUA & ebay.

Top L-R
Nightlight 50% full $10
~~Emerald Green 15-20% (this jar was only 75% full when I got it) $8~~
~~Pastorale 50% $10~~
Golder's Green 35% $8
Bottom L-R
~~Golden Olive 35% $8~~
~~Kelly Green 20% $8~~
~~Old Gold 20% $7~~
~~Chartreuse 20% $7~~
Copperized...full 5g sample jar $7

Top L-R
~~Clear Sky Blue (this is a matte and was only 50% full when bought) 10-15% full $10 -- let me know if you'd like a better picture~~
~~Teal 15-20% $7~~
~~Aire-de-Blue 50% $10~~
Bottom L-R
~~Softwash Grey 35-40% $8~~
~~Azreal Blue 50% $10~~
~~Blue 55% $10~~

Top L-R
~~Viz-a-Violet 50% $10~~
~~Entremauve 50% $10~~
Lovely Lily 50% $10
Mauvement full 5g sample $7
Bottom L-R
~~Rose 45-50% $10~~
Pinked Mauve 50% $10
Fuchsia 10-15% $8
~~Revved Up full 5g sample $7~~

Top L-R
Gold Dusk 50% $12
Goldenaire 30% $8
~~Pink Opal 30% $8~~
~~Dazzleray 25% $7~~
Middle L-R
~~Lily White 30% $8~~
~~Golden Lemon 20% $7~~
~~Helium 50% $10~~
Shimmertime 15% $7
Bottom L-R
Apricot Pink 50% $10
~~Deckchair 15% $7~~
~~Kitchmas 65-75% $12~~
Quick Frost full 5g sample $7
Jarden Aires full 5g sample $7
~~GoldMode full 5g sample $7~~

Top L-R
~~Sunnydaze 45% $10~~
~~Coco 50% $13~~
Sunpepper 50% $10
Off the Radar full 5g sample $7
~~Chocolate Brown 45% $10~~
~~Subtle 50% $10~~
~~Rushmetal full 5g sample $7~~
Cocomotion full 5g sample $7

Fancy Ray & ~~Sweet William Blushcremes~~

The plastic casing pops out on both, but you can snap back in before closing so they won't dry.
$6 each

Clinique Black Honey gel liner $10

L-R

~~Rubia l/s 5x $13~~
Pink Meringue l/g 80-90% $7
Orangedescence l/g 80-90% $7
Pink Maribu l/s 5x $10

Makeup sale!

2006-09-10T19:34:13Z

Shipping included!
100% positive fb on ebay (sparklingerin) & MUA (eenie)

(can take a photo if needed)
BNIB MAC Waternymph e/s LE $14
MAC Rouge Noir l/s, tested 1X $8
Bobbi Brown Shimmer Eye Kohl palette, each color tested 1X $20

Lip glosses, each used 1X. From L-R

~~Lancome Coral Rush Juicy Tube $5~~
MAC Valentine's lip gelee $10
~~DuWop Venom Gloss in Ivy $5~~
~~NARS Turkish Delight $10~~

MAC Pigments, 1/2 jar. $10 each
From L-R
Pinked Mauve, ~~Apricot Pink, Lily White~~

BN Holiday pigment vials (not pictured, can take photos!): Old Gold, Chartreuse
MAC Pigment samples. 1/4 tsp. $3 each
From L-R
Coco (5 left), Gold Dusk (5 left), Dazzleray (1 left), Shimmertime (1 left), Sunny Daze (3 left), Pinked Mauve (3), Golder's Green (3), Azreal Blue (3)

L-R
~~Golder's Green (1 left)~~, Night Light (2 left), Golden Olive (2 left), Softwash Grey (4 left)

rubyawake @ 2006-05-28T11:01:00

2006-05-28T16:03:46Z

Prices include shipping to US and Canada. 100%fb on ebay (sparklingerin)&MUA(eenie)
I take all kinds of Paypal

~~Petticoat MSF Used 2x $28~~
Pearlette Pearlizer 1/4 tsp removed, otherwise brand new $14
Feel So Fine l/s, used 3X $8
Heartthrob l/g Approx 80% full $5
1/2 jar Blue pigment (original) in original container $10
NARS South Beach Multiple, used 5X $20
BB Indigo Face Palette, Everything used 1X--looks nearly new. Contains White, Tan, and Indigo eyeshadows, with Desert Rose and Nectar blushes. $15

Far Left: Feel So Fine l/s Far Right: Heartthrob l/g

BB Indigo Face Palette

rubyawake @ 2006-03-19T20:11:00

2006-03-20T02:14:45Z

26 year old public school teacher by day, housewife, mother and superhero by night. Okay, so I'm neither super nor a hero, and I'm still not the best at mopping the kitchen floor. But I am the friend who is always up for shopping, the friend who will give you a makeover when you're feeling down, and the friend who is willing to listen. I use this journal to vent, share funny stories, and post random photos. I won't judge you if you promise not to judge me.

I'm not picky about people adding me, but I do like it if you tell me why you added me. I'm nosy that way.

Fabulous Friends Only banner courtesy of loveletterbox

rubyawake @ 2006-03-09T18:35:00

2006-03-10T00:52:41Z

Awhile ago, I decided to sort through my makeup and get rid of the things I don't use. Up until now, I haven't had time to actually sort the photos. As always, I'll offer it up to my f-list first, then I'll turn it over to the selling communities.

I take all kinds of paypal to sparklingerin@hotmail.com. Prices include shipping, etc. 100% feedback on MUA (eenie) and ebay (sparklingerin).
Flirt Bronze Kissed Bronzer Used 1X, brush will be washed. $8

Clinique Cornflower Blue e/s, used 1X. This is really pretty, but I have SO MANY blue e/s. $12

Lots of eyeshadows..
~~BNIP Freshwater pan (somehow I managed to get two of these as random gifts in the past two weeks??) $9~~
~~Sushi Flower depotted pan. Dip in center, no pan showing. $5~~pend
~~Metamorph, d/c depotted pan. Very slight dip in center. $10~~
~~Flastrack, pro palette pan, used 2X. $8~~
Pink Papillion, depotted pan. Slight dip in center and small chip. $7
Girlie, depotted e/s pan, used 2X. $8 pend
~~Meadowland, d/c depotted pan. Dip in center. $10~~
Tilt prop pan, slight dip, outer hetchmarks visible. $7
Electric Eel, depotted pan. This had a bad accident, so I'll toss it in for free if you buy something.
Little Madame Mineralized e/s, d/c. Dip on left side of dome, but the dome shape is still in tact. Tons left. $14
1/2 jar MAC Blue pigment, old d/c version, in original MAC jar. $14
~~SIB 4-pan palette, $3~~ hold
Pigment samples, $2.50 for 1/4 tsp.
Rose (4)
Teal (3)
Blue (3)
Pink Opal (5)
Goldenaire (4)
Lovely Lily (5)

Mangomix s/s. Used about 10X, tip broke off. $7
~~Silverbleu s/s, used 2X. $10~~

Beelicious pro eyeliner, sharpened 1X. $10

~~Iris Eyes fluidliner. Dip in center of eyeliner, but there is still a LOT left. $8~~
~~Sweet Sage fluidliner. Dip in center, still a lot left. $8~~

BB Mauve l/g, used 1X. $8
~~Dior Addict Lick of Taffy l/g, used 1X. $15~~

BB Indigo Face palette, Everything used 1X--looks nearly new.
Contains White, Tan, and Indigo eyeshadows, with Desert Rose and Nectar blushes. $15

BB Iced Pink Shimmer l/s, used 3X, $7

rubyawake @ 2005-06-24T13:08:00

2005-06-24T11:08:58Z

omg the lady bugs in my user info are kissing!

it doesn't feel like i'm getting married tomorrow. except for the part where i am SO BUSY!

rubyawake @ 2004-03-16T10:45:00

2004-03-16T08:47:34Z

Sushi is Love

rubyawake @ 2004-01-09T14:08:00

2004-01-09T12:11:55Z

Cinderella Project is an organization that accepts donations of new and almost new bridesmaid dresses, prom dresses, and other formal attire. The dresses donated are be given to inner-city LA girls to wear to proms, formals, weddings, etc. Without these donations, most of these girls would not be able to afford a formal dress. The bridesmaid dress that you wore one time in a wedding may not look like much to you, but it might be the most beautiful dress a girl has ever owned. All you have to do is mail in your dresses, which really won't cost that much. You can even get a receipt for a tax write-off if you so desire. Just think about how happy you might make some girl.: )