animal crackers in my soup

Mon, 06 Jul 2026 20:10:29 -0400

dankxsinatra:

Thu, 07 May 2026 11:16:16 -0400

dragongirlsnout:
bigandtired-deactivated20250405:
i enter the shower. hours pass. i emerge from the shower, having mixed all of my soaps and scrubs and lotions and conditioners and shampoos and body washes together in the tub in precise alchemical quantities. i smell like 314 different herbs and spices. my hair will not need washing for the next 500 days. my skin has developed protective chitinous scales. i step out of the tub and immediately slip and fall on a stray puddle of mane ‘n tail and sprain my pussy
Howl Pendragon

Madame M.

Thu, 07 May 2026 11:13:54 -0400

mouseshouses:

Madame M.

hey there, you’ve arrived at a Tumblr checkpoint!

Fri, 17 Apr 2026 09:49:51 -0400

sunshinetomorrow:

hey there, you’ve arrived at a Tumblr checkpoint!
are you thirty? have a sip!
are you hungry? have a spack!
have you been snitting in the sale proclation? mack your tabbers!.
are you stick? purt your indies!
do you need to prot a buntle? go! now!
are you tired? break your togs!
do a quick snat of your vitals. are you fond? do you need to reduct your plandles? if you have a trick, tog it. if you need to sitch, go so.
are you grod or too trinking? if you need to break off a grint or mend the bontle, go to that now!
I hope this helps! and I hope your tunderfal day :-)

At this point there could be a video of Doechii and Chappell Roan hitting a man with their car…

Wed, 15 Apr 2026 19:58:45 -0400

panteneprovcommercial:

At this point there could be a video of Doechii and Chappell Roan hitting a man with their car holding hands Thelma & Louise style and I’d still be like “well let’s hear them out”

quick update. I’ve decided to also blockade the strait of Hormuz. so when you talk about the status…

Tue, 14 Apr 2026 13:29:20 -0400

tim-official:

quick update. I’ve decided to also blockade the strait of Hormuz. so when you talk about the status of the strait please say that it is blockaded by Iran, the USA, and Timothy. Thanks

“Just because I’m right, doesn’t mean I’m being helpful” is a vastly underrated thought process that…

Tue, 14 Apr 2026 13:17:39 -0400

whatbigotspost:

butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway:
“Just because I’m right, doesn’t mean I’m being helpful” is a vastly underrated thought process that I strongly encourage others to get comfortable with
Hey op thanks for fundamentally rearranging my molecules in some helpful way this fine evening

My blog isn’t a safe space btw. It failed the last TÜV inspection due to lack of handrails and…

Sat, 11 Apr 2026 14:57:17 -0400

translatingpoststogerman:

translating-german-to-english:
menschenauflauf:
translating-german-to-english:
translatingpoststogerman:
swordi001:
My blog isn’t a safe space btw. It failed the last TÜV inspection due to lack of handrails and Notausgangschilder
schwerti001
Mein Blog ist übrigens kein sicherer Ort. Er ist bei der letzten TÜV-Inspektion durchgefallen wegen mangelnden Geländern und Notausgangschildern
swordi001
My blog is not a safe place by the way. It failed the last OSHA inspection due to a lack of handrails and emergency exit signs
Schwerti001
Mein Blog ist kein sicherer Ort im Übrigen. Er ist bei der letzten Überprüfung der Arbeitsschutz- und -sicherheitsbehörde wegen eines Mangel an Geländern und Notausgangsschildern durchgefallen.
hey now >:(

IMPORTANT NEWS OF BIG BOY BABY MAN BOY SON WHO OF SHOWER TIME WET TIME STOODST UP ON WET SPOUT KNOB…

Mon, 06 Apr 2026 14:36:49 -0400

teaboot:

IMPORTANT NEWS OF BIG BOY BABY MAN BOY SON WHO OF SHOWER TIME WET TIME STOODST UP ON WET SPOUT KNOB OF TURNING ON SHOWER WATER BATHING TIME AND WETTENED HIM WHOLE SELF

SEE HIM CLEAN CLEAN SON MAN SHOWER BOY FATHER SO PROUD OFHIM BIG STRONG POWERFUL BOY ! ! !

radioactive-snake: vampireapologist: stardustodinson: vampireapologist: drake? josh? where’s...

Sun, 05 Apr 2026 14:59:43 -0400

radioactive-snake:

vampireapologist:

stardustodinson:

vampireapologist:

drake?

josh?

where’s the body of christ?

I am a huge fan of retiring to my quarters

Sun, 05 Apr 2026 14:59:37 -0400

quinnception:

somethingusefulfromflorida:
venerable-thief:
I am a huge fan of retiring to my quarters
In this economy you’ll be lucky to retire to your nickels
ALT

What are the odds you’ll let me watch the game without ruining my family’s financial future?

Sat, 04 Apr 2026 12:03:58 -0400

baseballcardvandals:

What are the odds you’ll let me watch the game without ruining my family’s financial future?
Own this BCV original.

i know we’re deep into january now but i hope this year everyone realizes the way ads have started…

Sat, 04 Apr 2026 12:00:11 -0400

rainbowgaez:

i know we’re deep into january now but i hope this year everyone realizes the way ads have started to adjust their tactics. every time i see a post with an ad that looks like it has some kind of unintentional innuendo it makes me groan. “didn’t they know what this looked like before they put out the ad??” yes motherfucker a conference room full of suits pretending to be people all gathered together and said “if we make it look like this guy is blowing someone in our advertisement someone will snap a pic and post it on social media giving us a 1.4% revenue turnaround on our ad campaign investment” they aren’t trying to sell to you anymore they’re just trying to get you to do the work for them and the worst part is it’s been fucking workinggg

this fanfic shit is easy

Thu, 26 Mar 2026 13:40:28 -0400

ghostcashew:

ALT
this fanfic shit is easy

it’s unfair for Gal Gadot to assume that her movies are bombing because of boycotts from…

Thu, 26 Mar 2026 13:40:03 -0400

cheaphalloweencostume:

it’s unfair for Gal Gadot to assume that her movies are bombing because of boycotts from pro-Palestine moviegoers. it’s also because she’s not a good actress and the movies she’s in are bad

i will do ANYTHING but work on my essay apparently

Thu, 26 Mar 2026 13:37:47 -0400

semutamusic:

flikkerij:
i will do ANYTHING but work on my essay apparently

you’re on the reblog website. reblog things.

Thu, 26 Mar 2026 13:34:33 -0400

translatingpoststogerman:

mercymaker:
you’re on the reblog website. reblog things.
gnadeschöpfer
du bist auf der rebloggen-internetseite. reblogge dinge.

sorry i said id go to bed but this is The funniest thing ive seen in like the past like. 4 days…

Thu, 26 Mar 2026 13:34:22 -0400

are-they-a-faggot:

sorry i said id go to bed but this is The funniest thing ive seen in like the past like. 4 days thanks oomf

as above (insane in the head) so below (insane in the pussy)

Thu, 26 Mar 2026 13:29:56 -0400

infectiouspiss:

as above (insane in the head) so below (insane in the pussy)

You know what? Fuck you lets it linger looks back in anger goes back to the old house

Thu, 26 Mar 2026 13:29:53 -0400

thatspiercedear:

You know what? Fuck you *lets it linger* *looks back in anger* *goes back to the old house*