i enter the shower. hours pass. i emerge from the shower, having mixed all of my soaps and scrubs and lotions and conditioners and shampoos and body washes together in the tub in precise alchemical quantities. i smell like 314 different herbs and spices. my hair will not need washing for the next 500 days. my skin has developed protective chitinous scales. i step out of the tub and immediately slip and fall on a stray puddle of mane 'n tail and sprain my pussy
Howl Pendragon
hey there, you've arrived at a Tumblr checkpoint!
- are you thirty? have a sip!
- are you hungry? have a spack!
- have you been snitting in the sale proclation? mack your tabbers!.
- are you stick? purt your indies!
- do you need to prot a buntle? go! now!
- are you tired? break your togs!
- do a quick snat of your vitals. are you fond? do you need to reduct your plandles? if you have a trick, tog it. if you need to sitch, go so.
- are you grod or too trinking? if you need to break off a grint or mend the bontle, go to that now!
I hope this helps! and I hope your tunderfal day :-)
At this point there could be a video of Doechii and Chappell Roan hitting a man with their car holding hands Thelma & Louise style and I'd still be like "well let's hear them out"
quick update. I've decided to also blockade the strait of Hormuz. so when you talk about the status of the strait please say that it is blockaded by Iran, the USA, and Timothy. Thanks
"Just because I'm right, doesn't mean I'm being helpful" is a vastly underrated thought process that I strongly encourage others to get comfortable with
Hey op thanks for fundamentally rearranging my molecules in some helpful way this fine evening
My blog isn't a safe space btw. It failed the last TÜV inspection due to lack of handrails and Notausgangschilder
schwerti001
Mein Blog ist übrigens kein sicherer Ort. Er ist bei der letzten TÜV-Inspektion durchgefallen wegen mangelnden Geländern und Notausgangschildern
swordi001
My blog is not a safe place by the way. It failed the last OSHA inspection due to a lack of handrails and emergency exit signs
Schwerti001
Mein Blog ist kein sicherer Ort im Übrigen. Er ist bei der letzten Überprüfung der Arbeitsschutz- und -sicherheitsbehörde wegen eines Mangel an Geländern und Notausgangsschildern durchgefallen.
hey now >:(
IMPORTANT NEWS OF BIG BOY BABY MAN BOY SON WHO OF SHOWER TIME WET TIME STOODST UP ON WET SPOUT KNOB OF TURNING ON SHOWER WATER BATHING TIME AND WETTENED HIM WHOLE SELF
SEE HIM CLEAN CLEAN SON MAN SHOWER BOY FATHER SO PROUD OFHIM BIG STRONG POWERFUL BOY ! ! !
I am a huge fan of retiring to my quarters
In this economy you'll be lucky to retire to your nickels
What are the odds you'll let me watch the game without ruining my family's financial future?
i know we’re deep into january now but i hope this year everyone realizes the way ads have started to adjust their tactics. every time i see a post with an ad that looks like it has some kind of unintentional innuendo it makes me groan. “didn’t they know what this looked like before they put out the ad??” yes motherfucker a conference room full of suits pretending to be people all gathered together and said “if we make it look like this guy is blowing someone in our advertisement someone will snap a pic and post it on social media giving us a 1.4% revenue turnaround on our ad campaign investment” they aren’t trying to sell to you anymore they’re just trying to get you to do the work for them and the worst part is it’s been fucking workinggg
it’s unfair for Gal Gadot to assume that her movies are bombing because of boycotts from pro-Palestine moviegoers. it’s also because she’s not a good actress and the movies she’s in are bad
