do you believe in magic ;;

Two Thousand Seven

2006-12-31T14:34:10Z

I wish everyone a happy, healthy and safe new year.
I love you all. ♥

Fandom Friending Meme

2006-11-07T03:50:57Z

Because I haven't seen/done a friending meme in a very long time. Because the holiday are coming up. Because there always needs to be a little more love in the world. :]

FANDOM
FRIENDING
MEME

All I ask is that you PIMP this in your journals. And keep it clean, no drama plz. :]

Kara Thrace Mix: Fire Away

2006-09-19T19:45:58Z

For my last BSG mix, I just want to let it be said that I'm sure these songs have been used before, but I had to get this out of my head and off of my hard drive before I exploded. For all the Lee/Kara fans, you might want to expect some ficcage coming from me in a short while, but I've got homework first - ALWAYS first. So in the mean time, enjoy the wonderfulness that is Kara Thrace, also fondly called "Starbuck."

01) HIT ME WITH YOUR BEST SHOT - PAT BENATAR
Well you're the real tough cookie with the long history
Of breaking little hearts, like the one in me

02) VINDICATED - DASHBOARD CONFESSIONALS
I am vindicated, I am selfish
I am wrong, I am right
I swear I'm right, swear I knew it all along
And I am flawed, but I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself

03) BITCH - MEREDITH BROOKS
I'm a bitch, I'm a tease
I'm a goddess on my knees
When you hurt, when you suffer
I'm your angel undercover
I've been numbed, I'm revived
Can't say I'm not alive

04) UNINVITED - ALANIS MORRISSETTE
Like anyone would be
I am flattered by your fascination with me
Like any hot-blooded woman
I have simply wanted an object to crave
But you, you're not allowed

05) TORN - NATALIE IMBRUGLIA
I'm all out of faith
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed
Lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed
Into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see
The perfect sky is torn

06) COLD - CROSSFADE
Looking back at me I see
That I never really got it right
I never stopped to think of you
I'm always wrapped up in
Things I cannnot win

07) MY DECEMBER - LINKIN PARK
And I give it all away just to have somewhere to go to
Give it all away to have someone to come home to
This is my december, these are my snow covered dreams
This is me pretending, this is all I need

08) LEARNING TO BREATH - SWITCHFOOT
This is the way that I'm learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that you and you alone can break my fall
I'm living again, awake and alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies

09) HAVE A LITTLE FAITH IN ME - MANDY MOORE
Well, I've been loving you for such a long long time
Expecting nothing in return
Just for you to have a little faith in me
You see time, time is our friend
Cause for us there is no end

10) I SHALL BELIEVE - SHERYL CROW
Never again would I turn away from you
I'm so heavy tonight but your love is alright
That not everything is gonna be the way, you think it ought to be
It seems like every time I try to make it right, it all comes down on me
Please say honestly you won't give up on me and I shall believe

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Lee/Kara Mix: Heart and Soul

2006-09-18T15:47:15Z

Okay, here's the next installment of my Lee/Kara mixes. This one explores the reality of their relationship, the goofy friendship on the edge of a passionate romance with a little angst mixed in. Just kidding, it's ALOT of angst. I mean, how can they not have angst? They OWN angst. Anyway, you get the idea. So without further ado, I give you "Heart and Soul."

01) YOU'RE IN MY HEART - ROD STEWART
You're in my heart, you're in my soul
You'll be my breath should I grow old
You are my lover, you're my best friend

02) BRIGHTER THAN SUNSHINE - AQUALUNG
I look up you're standing next to me
What a feeling, what a feeling in my soul
Love burns brighter than sunshine

03) THE WAY YOU LOOK TONIGHT - ELTON JOHN
And I cant explain but its
something about the way you look tonight
Takes my breath away
Its that feeling I get about you deep inside

04) DUMBING DOWN OF LOVE - FROU FROU
What will happen
Lover alone without love
Will you miss him?

05) SWAY - THE PERISHERS
I look at you and see a friend
I hope that's what you wanna be
Are we back now where it all began
Have you finally forgiven me?

06) THE BEST OF YOU - FOO FIGHTERS
Is someone getting the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel

07) PUSH - SARAH MCLACHLAN
You stay the course you hold the line you keep it all together
You're the one true thing I know I can believe in
I get mad so easy but you give me room to breathe
No matter what I say or do 'cause you're to good to fight about it

08) I DARE YOU TO MOVE - SWITCHFOOT
Welcome to resistence, the tension is here
Between who you are and you could be
Between how it is and how it should be

09) I SAID I LOVED YOU BUT I LIED - MICHAEL BOLTON
Said I loved you but I was wrong
Cause love could never ever feel so strong
How can mere words my heart explain
This taste of heaven so deep so true I've found in you

10) SHE'S ALWAYS A WOMAN TO ME - BILLY JOEL
Oh, she takes care of herself
She can wait if she wants
She's ahead of her time
Oh, and she never gives out
And she never gives in
She just changes her mind

11) FOR YOU - THE CALLING
Within the darkness
You are the light that shines a way
In this blind justice
I can be that man who saves the day

12) IRIS - GOO GOO DOLLS
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

13) THE REASON - HOOBASTANK
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you

14) WHEN I GO DOWN - RELIENT K
I've thrown away the hope I had in friendships
I've thrown away so many things that could have been much more
I've thrown away the secret to find an end to this
and I just pray my problems go away if they're ignored
but that's not the way it works

15) IF EVERYONE CARED - NICKELBACK
From underneath the trees, we watch the sky
Confusing stars for satellites
I never dreamed that you'd be mine
But here we are, we're here tonight
Singing "Amen, I'm alive."

16) I'LL DIE TRYING - LONESTAR
I'd love to be your redemption, but I am just a man,
I may never be a hero, but I am a rock you can lean on.
If I don't love you like you deserve
If I don't stop every tear you're cryin
If I don't make your life a heaven on this earth,
I'll die tryin

17) THE GLORY OF LOVE - CHICAGO
I am a man who will fight for your honor
I'll be the hero you've been dreaming of
We'll live forever knowing together that
We did it all for the glory of love

18) DELIVER ME - ENYA feat. SARAH BRIGHTMAN
All of my life, I've been in hiding
Wishing there was someone just like you
Now that your here, now that I've found you
I know that youre the one to pull me through

BONUS TRACK) THE DANCE - GARTH BROOKS
Holding you I held everything
For a moment wasn't I the king
But if I'd only known how the king would fall
Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain
But I'd of had to miss the dance

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Lee/Kara Mix: Diamonds and Rust

2006-09-17T18:23:35Z

Over the last month or so, I have been introduced to the fandom of Battlestar Galactica. I am completely caught up on the first two seasons and am anxiously awaiting the start of the third. And I can truthfully tell you that this show has EATEN MY BRAIN, not to mention the ANGST-TASTIC pairing that is Lee and Kara. Oh, they make me quiver just thinking about it.

Anyway, I had decided that I wanted to make a fanmix, then after going all the songs on my hard drive, I found over 50 songs. O_O Not to worry, after much struggling and editing, I've compiled them into three different mixes. So by the time the third season starts, I will have done my part by way of musical contribution to the favorite BSG pairing. So if this ship is your crack, then by all means, click the link and rock away! :]

Spoilers for both seasons beyond the cut!

Like I said before, this is the first of three mixes. This one will have sad, angsty undertones of the seperation now that Lee is floating around in space with his WIFE and Kara's stuck on New Caprica with her HUSBAND. ~~And no, I'm not bitter~~. Anyway, the next mix will be the colorful, vibrant, fun side of their relationship, and my last mix is strictly for Starbuck. But for now, just sit back and enjoy the angst. I know I do!! :]

01. DIAMONDS AND RUST - BLACKMORE'S NIGHT
We all know what memories bring,
They bring diamonds and rust.

02. I LET YOU GO AGAIN - THE FADERS
I cant make myself feel better,
cant feel anything at all
I never meant to hurt you and tear us both apart
What have I done?

03. BROKEN - SEETHER feat. AMY LEE
Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away

04. FIX YOU - COLDPLAY
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

05. WHAT HURTS THE MOST - RASCAL FLATTS
What hurts the most is being so close
And having so much to say
and watching you walk away

06. HERE BY ME - 3 DOORS DOWN
I hope you’re doing fine out there without me
Cause I’m not doing so good without you

07. SOMEWHERE OUT THERE - OUR LADY PEACE
You’re falling back to me
The star that I can see
I know you’re out there

08. SPACE TRAVEL - YELLOWCARD
Somewhere behind her eyes
Some supernatural energy takes me for quite the ride
Across time where I defy gravity

09. STRAIGHT JACKET FEELING - ALL AMERICAN REJECTS
Yesteday was hell,
But today I'm fine without you
Wash away this time without you

10. RIGHT HERE WAITING - STAIND
You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting
And if I chose to walk away would you be right here waiting
Searching for the things to say to keep me right here waiting

11. SAVIN ME - NICKELBACK
Show me what it's like
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right

12. KISS THE RAIN - BILLIE MYERS
Kiss the rain whenever you need me
Kiss the rain whenever I'm gone too long.
Keep in mind we're under the same sky
And the night's as empty for me, as for you

13. LONG LONG WAY TO GO - DEF LEPPARD
You held my hand and then you slipped away
And I may never see your face again
So tell me how do to fill the emptiness inside
Without love, what is life?

14. LOVE WILL COME BACK - CHICAGO
Love will come back
Hit you when you least expect it
Fill in the cracks
Of a broken heart you thought
That you could never mend
You, you can start again.

15. I'M STILL HERE - VERTICAL HORIZON
The cities grow, the rivers flow
Where you are, I'll never know
But I'm still here

BONUS TRACK: LIPS OF AN ANGEL - HINDER
Well, my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on

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TESTIMONIALS

2006-08-22T14:03:17Z

I'll be revamping my journal and userinfo soon, and I figured some testimonials would be nice. So please comment here and leave me some lovin. :]

FANDOM FRIENDING MEME

2006-08-16T14:11:45Z

Due to my now limited time on LJ, I'm feeling somewhat negligent in the flist/fandom area. But after a great summer of movies *pokes icon* and the upcoming fall line up, I figured we can always use a little more love in the world of LiveJournal. ♥ So go ye of LJ, copy and paste, and make this friending meme successful. :]

All I ask is that you PIMP this in your journals. And keep it clean, no drama plz. :]

Rainy days.

2006-07-31T19:53:53Z

I just did a huge friends cut. It wasn't easy, but it was necessary. Comments are screened if you have anything to say.

Logan/Veronica Mix: Bound To Happen

2006-06-04T03:12:27Z

This mix was made by myself and Michi (obliviate), a simple contribution to the most adorable and angsty pairing from the Veronica Mars fandom, that being Veronica/Logan. Nothing really spoilery under the cut, just some amazing art made by Michi and some songs picked out by the both of us. Be sure to check it out!

( Textures by pentopp and inxsomniax )

01) The Walk - Imogen Heap
Big trouble losing control.
Primary resistance at a critical low.
on the, on the double gotta get a hold.
Point of no return one second to go.
No response on any level,
Red-alert this vessel's under seige.
Total overload all systems down they've got control.
There's no way out.
We are surrounded.
Give in, give in and relish every minute of it.
Freeze, awake here forever.
I feel a weakness coming on.
It’s not meant to be like this,
Not what I planned at all.
I don’t want to feel like this.

02) Be My Escape - Relient K
I am a hostage to my own humanity
Self detained and forced to live in this mess I’ve made
And all I’m asking is for you to do what you can with me
But I can’t ask you to give what you already gave
Cause I’ve been housing all this doubt and insecurity and
I’ve been locked inside that house all the while you hold the key
And I’ve been dying to get out and that might be the death of me
And even though, there’s no way in knowing where to go, promise I’m going because
I’ve gotta get outta here, I’m stuck inside this rut that I fell into by mistake
I’ve gotta get outta here, And I’m begging you, I’m begging you
I’m begging you to be my escape.

03) Bound To Happen - The Spill Canvas
This is so difficult for the both of us
I know we tried so hard, there's just no hope for us
Well it's more than a shame that we lost to this game
All my walking, talking, sleeping, breathing -
nothing will ever be the same
I used to hold you like it's all that I had
Now begins the falling out, we are like a passing fad
Your mouth would crack a smile if I were spoken of
'Till tonight you never thought
you'd lose this epic battle with love

04) Love Gives, Love Takes - The Corrs
Just when I thought I was safe,
You found me in my hiding place,
I'd promised never again
I wouldn't give my heart, but then
Closer, closer I moved near you
The way I want you makes me fear you
Love breaks and love divides
Love laughs and love can make you cry
I can't believe the ways
That love can give
And love can take away

05) I Let You Go Again - The Faders
Yesterday you were with me
Seems like forever you've been gone
I sit alone and all I think about is you
And what we had, what we had, I let you go
Slipped through my fingers, now you're gone
Just when I had it all, I let you go again
I can't make myself feel better, can't feel anything at all
I never meant to hurt you and tear us both apart, what have I done?
All we wanted turned to dust, but baby, it's all my fault

06) Here By Me - 3 Doors Down
I hope you're doing fine out there without me
'Cause I'm not doing so good without you
The things I thought you'd never know about me
Were the things I guess you always understood
So how could I have been so blind for all these years
I guess I only see the truth through all this fear of living without you

07) Spooky - Imogen Heap
You always keep me guessing
I never seem to know what you are thinking
And if a girl looks at you
It's for sure your little eye will be a-winking
I get confused, I never know where I stand
And then you smile and hold my hand
Love is kind of crazy with a spooky little boy like you

08) Blind - Lifehouse
After all this time
Would you ever wanna leave it
Maybe you could not believe it
That my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you will ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
And I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me dies when I let you go

09) Fallen - Sarah McLachlan
Heaven bent to take my hand
And lead me through the fire
Be the long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight
Truth be told I've tried my best
But somewhere along the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
And the cost was so much more than I could bear
Though I've tried, I've fallen
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so

10) Hallelujah - Rufus Wainwright
There was a time you let me know whats really going on below,
But now you never show it to me, do you?
Remember when I moved in you; the holy dark was moving too,
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah
Maybe there's a God above, and all I ever learned from love
Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
And its not a cry you can hear at night, its not somebody who's seen the light,
Its a cold and its a broken Hallelujah

11) Drawing A Line In The Sand - Brandtson
Don't come crying back to me,
When you're lonely and all out of love.
Don't come crying back to me
When you're helpless and all out of luck.
Stop waiting, there's no answer,
And no sense in second chances,
It's pointless and it's useless,
Sorries won't help you through this.

12) Far Away - Nickelback
On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all, I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know, you know, you know
That I love you, I have loved you all along
And I miss you, been far away for far too long
I keep dreaming you'll be with me and you'll never go
Stop breathing if I don't see you anymore
I wanted, I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed, I need to hear you say
That I love you, I have loved you all along

13) I'm Still Here - Vertical Horizon
I found the pieces in my hand
They were always there
It just took some time for me to understand
You gave me words I just can't say
So if nothing else
I'll just hold on while you drift away
Cause everything you wanted me to hide
Is everything that makes me feel alive
The cities grow, The rivers flow
Where you are, I'll never know
But I'm still here
If you were right and I was wrong
Why are you the one who's gone
And I'm still here

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Michael/Sara Mix: Significant Silence

2006-05-20T12:57:55Z

I had no intention of posting this today, but the songs kept popping out at me, and I had no choice but to finish it before my head exploded. Anyways, there's cover art, lyrics and a bunch of beautiful songs under the cut, so be sure to check it out. WARNING: There are spoilers for the season finale!!

Okay folks, let's not get too down on ourselves. WE HAVE TO BELIEVE IN OUR SHIP. There's too much between Michael and Sara, too much left unresolved for her to REALLY be dead; the makers/writers would truly be STUPID to mess with this character. But alas, until we have some real answers in the fall, we'll have to do our best to keep our ship "alive." I'll have many little ficlets to share over the summer, but this is just me faithful little musical contribution. :D Basically, this mix covers their angsty relationship, the secrets they keep from each other and the beautiful silent moments they share that are more than significant. I myself can see a specific "MiSa" moment in each of these songs. I hope they can portray them right for all of you!

01. On Fire - Switchfoot
Cause everything inside looks like everything I hate
You are the hope I have for change
You are the only chance I’ll take
When I’m on fire when you’re near me
I’m on fire when you speak
And I’m on fire burning at these mysteries

02. What's Left Of Me - Nick Lachey
I've been dying inside, little by little,
No where to go but going out of my mind in endless circles
Running from my self until you gave me a reason for standing still
Take what's left of this man, make me whole once again

03. For You - The Calling
Living in shadows, faded existence, it was never good enough
Within the darkness, you are the light that shines away
You’re trapped in violence, I can be the man who saves the day

04. Blind - Lifehouse
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

05. Savin' Me - Nickelback
Prison gates won't open up for me
On these hands and knees I'm crawlin'
Oh, I reach for you
Well I'm terrified of these four walls
These iron bars can't hold my soul in
All I need is you
Come please I'm callin'
And oh I scream for you
Hurry I'm fallin'

06. Wonderwall - Ryan Adams
I don't believe that anybody
Feels the way I do about you now
And all the roads that lead to you were winding
And all the lights that light the way are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you
I don't know how
I said maybe you're gonna be the one who saves me?
And after all, you're my wonderwall

07. Fix You - Coldplay
And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

08. Over My Head (Cable Car) - The Fray
I never knew
I never knew that everything was falling through
That everyone I knew was waiting on a queue
To turn and run when all I needed was the truth
But that's how it's got to be
It's coming down to nothing more than apathy
I'd rather run the other way than stay and see
The smoke and who's still standing when it clears
Everyone knows I'm in over my head, over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime, she's on your mind

09. I So Hate Consequences - Relient K
This isn’t turning out the way I want
And after all of my alibis desert me
I just want to get by
I don’t want nothing to hurt me
I had no idea where my head was at
But if my heart says I’m sorry can we leave it at that
Because I just want for all of this to end

10. Goodnight and Go - Imogen Heap
Why d'ya have to be so cute?
It's impossible to ignore you
Must you make me laugh so much
It's bad enough we get along so well
Say goodnight and go

11. Sway - The Perishers
I look at you and see a friend
I hope that's what you wanna be
Are we back now where it all began
Have you finally forgiven me?
You gathered my dreams in
When they all blew away
And then tricked them back into me
You saved me I was almost dead

I don't wanna hurt you
I don't wanna make you sway
Like I know I've done before
I will not do it anymore
I've always been a dreamer
I've had my head among the clouds
Now that I'm coming down
Won't you be my solid ground?

12. Twenty-Four - Switchfoot
Twenty-four oceans
Twenty-four skies
Twenty-four failures
And twenty-four tries
Twenty-four finds me
In twenty-fourth place
With twenty-four drop outs
At the end of the day

There's twenty-four reasons
To admit that I'm wrong
With all my excuses
Still twenty-four strong
See, I'm not copping out
Not copping out, not copping out
When you're raising the dead in me

Bonus Track: Always On Your Side - Sheryl Crow feat. Sting
But when your name was called, you found a place to hide
When you knew that I was always on your side

Well everything was easy then, so sweet and innocent
But my demons and my angels reappeared
Leavin' all the traces of the man you thought I'd be
Leavin' me with no place left to go from here
Leavin' you with only questions all these years

But is there someplace far away, someplace where all is clear
Easy to start over with the ones you hold so dear
Or are you left to wonder, all alone, eternally
This isn't how it's really meant to be

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Prison Break fic: Forgotten Lies (1/?)

2006-05-08T22:44:31Z

Title: Forgotten Lies (1/?)
Author: Miss Court-A-Doo
Characters: Michael/Sara, Sucre, Abruzzi (others randomly)
Rating: PG-13 for series
Genre: angst, drama, romance
Length: 916 words for the chapter, unknown chapters for the series
Summary: Michael, Lincoln and the others have escaped Fox River, and it affects Sara in more ways than one.
Warning: Post Escape, spoilers through 1x20 “Tonight”
Disclaimer: I don’t own Michael, Sara or anything pertaining to Prison Break, they belong to the amazing people working at FOX. I simply own the plot, and that’s nothing special.
Author's Note: Many asked if I would be continuing my first fic, but I really wasn't planning on it. As for this one, I most definitely am. This chapter is shorter than I wanted it to be, but my mind is simply dead from work today. I'm not EXACTLY sure where this fic is going, but I have a good idea. I don't know when I'll post the next chapter, but let me know what you think of this one first!

CHAPTER ONE: Imperfect Goodbyes

Sweat was beading down Michael’s temple. The air was thick, and it was getting harder the breath as he raced down the halls. His heart was thumping hard against the inside of his chest, his senses were all on alert, and he was all too aware of what was going on around him.

So far, everything was going according to planned. The Pope had surprisingly cooperated without a fuss and taken him to Lincoln, where he was unguarded. It was in Lincoln’s cell that the warden now sat tied, gagged and unconscious. It was miracle enough that each man had made it to the meeting point unseen, and none of them were yet missing from the holding cells in GenPop yet. Everything was going smoothly. Now he just needed one more miracle - an open door.

It ate at Michael night and day, knowing that he had used Sara like he had. No matter what she believed, everything he had told her was true. Somehow, everything had changed, and he wanted to be there, in that room, with her. He had originally kissed her to distract her, yes. But also, selfishly, he wanted to know the feel of her lips, the taste of her kiss, especially if he was to be a wanted man the rest of his life.

So he told her the truth, gave his confession, begged for her help. And he was depending on her feelings for him, regardless of just being betrayed, so that he could save his innocent brother from a framed murder.

Michael slowed his running as he turned the corner to see his men gathered by the infirmary door. Michael held his breath as Sucre suddenly spoke.

“Toss me the keys, man.” he whispered.

“I don’t have the keys.” Michael said firmly, taking a step forward.

“No... no keys? Man, the door is locked!”

Michael’s heart dropped. He rushed to the door, jiggled the handle and twisted furiously, but the door stayed stubbornly closed. He took a step back and rand a hand through his hair. Lincoln placed a hand on his brother’s shoulder, but Michael only shook his head.

This was it, the end of the line. He thought he could have depended on Sara, that she would care enough about him, about Lincoln, to grant his request and ‘make a mistake.’ But obviously it was too much to ask. Now he had brought down each of his friends with him. Lincoln would die, and the rest of them would rot in the walls of Fox River. His entire plan had gone to waste.

“Michael!”

Each man cursed and ran to hide at the sound of the voice in the hall. Relief flooded Michael as Sara rushed around the corner with keys in hand and quickly unlocked the door. Holding it open, she let out a deep breath and looked up to meet Michael’s eyes.

“Go.” Michael said firmly, and each man took off running into the medical room.

“Don’t look at me like that, Michael. I didn’t do it for you.” she said in a calm, steady voice. “I did it for your brother.”

Michael surprised himself by taking a step forward and pulling her into his arms, holding her close for just a moment. The last moment they would ever have.

“I know,” he whispered into her hair. “Thank you, Sara.”

She nodded against him, and he felt her pull him closer. For just a second, he relished that warmth, the strength she exuded, because he knew he would need it. He knew that he needed her, but the way she was now holding him, he knew she needed him just as much. It caused a spark of hope within him and he pulled back to look into her eyes.

“Go, they’re waiting for you.” she whispered, still holding onto him tightly. Then without hesitation, he leaned forward and kissed her.

She responded fervently, even more so than when he had first kissed her. He held body close, hoping in some way she would understand what he so desperately wanted to say. That he cared for her, that he was sorry, that he wanted nothing more than to save her from the deprivation of Fox River. But a kiss was all he had to give, and she would have to take it however she would.

Suddenly, she gasped and fell to the floor. Michael opened his eyes to see Abruzzi, who had knocked her out with the butt of his gun. “Let’s go, Fish.” he whispered fiercely.

Michael glared the man down till he walked on to the room, leaving him alone with Sara. He bent down to examine her for a moment, and found a small bruise on the back of her head; it wouldn’t cause any lasting damage. With a loud sigh, he brushed the stray strands of hair from her face and stood to leave. “I’m sorry, Sara.”

TBC...

Ron/Hermione fic: Holding Out For Him

2006-05-02T02:21:24Z

Title: Holding Out For Him
Author: Miss Court-A-Doo
Rating: PG-ish
Pairings: Ron/Hermione
Genre: angst/fluff
Summary: Fleur is demanding that every Weasley child have a date for the wedding.
Warning: Minor spoilers for post HBP
Disclaimer: None of the HP characters belong to me, just to the amazing Jo Rowling.
Detication: To my darling friend, Michi ( obliviate ) as a very belated birthday present. I hope it was great. Love you, girly!! ♥

Holding Out For Him

Hermione slammed the bedroom door and threw herself on the bed. The boy was nothing short of infuriating! She was feeling tears burn behind her eyes and she was thinking words that she knew her mother would not approve of. As she swallowed hard, she could hear his stomping footsteps on the stairs. She didn’t want to have to deal with him right now, not after what he’d just said.

It had been a complete disaster, probably twice as worse as the Yule Ball in fourth year. How could he? How could he even compare her to Lavender Brown? And what in the world would make him bring up all that horrid nonsense from the term before?

A few weeks had passed since Dumbledore’s funeral, and now it was only a few days till the wedding of Bill and Fleur. It was relieving that something so humane and real could happen in such times. Fleur, being the woman that she was, made sure everything was perfect, from the delicately designed hem of her dress to the elaborate and exotic flowers on display. The food would be exquisite, the music would be enchanting, and everyone would be on their very best behavior.

Hermione had learned over the past few days just how demanding the woman was. Of course, she was beautiful, very affectionate and caring to her fiancé’ and his current condition, but when it came to the wedding that she alone was planning, everything had to be perfect. And it just so happened that Fleur required each of the Weasley boys to have an escort, a woman on his arm.

A date, in other words.

It was times like these that Hermione wondered why on earth she was holding out for him.

A firm knock at the door shook Hermione from her thoughts, but she couldn’t see him. Not right now.

“Go away, Ron.” she said in a wavering voice.

She heard some loud grumbling before his low voice said “Alohamora!”

The door flew open, causing Hermione to gasp. She sat up on the bed to see him throw his wand aside and stand before her, tall and fuming.

“I didn’t mean it like that, Hermione, and you know it!” he said loudly, his face flaming red. He had nothing to be embarrased for, so Hermione assumed it was because he was so angry.

But she was angry too. “Do I know it?” she retorted. “Because it sounded very clear that you’d rather take Lavender to this wedding than me.”

Ron let out an exasperated sigh and ran a hand through his ginger locks. “Okay, so maybe it did sound like that, but it’s not what I meant.”

“Oh, of course it is, Ronald. Lavender is pretty and popular, of course you’d rather go with her on your arm. I’m just the best friend who’s too busy with her nose stuck in book. I’m not pretty, I’m not popular, of course you’d rather go with her.”

Her voice was now mellow and her eyes were downcast. She hadn’t meant for the conversation to take this turn, but she knew it was the truth.

Ron watched her quietly as a single tear trailed down her cheek. He then moved to sit next to her on the bed. “Hermione, look at me.” he said gently. She looked up slowly to meet his eyes. He cleared his throat and tried to speak, but when his words caught, he smiled.

“You are plenty pretty, Hermione. And you know I’ve never really care much for popularity anyway.” he said, nudging her playfully.

“I’m not kidding, Ron. This is serious.” Hermione persisted.

“I’m not kidding either.” He said, taking hold of her hand. “Look, after that mess with Lavender and McLaggen, I was hoping we could work our way through this easily.”

Hermione looked up at him skeptically. She could feel his fingers locking with her own, his thumb absently drawing circles on the back of her hand. “Through what?”

Ron paused for a moment, hemmed and hawed while his face turned pink once again. “I... I only mentioned Lavender because she’s the only girl I’ve ever really dated. Now Fleur is demanding a date for the boys, so she’s the first girl that came to mind. That doesn’t mean she’s the girl I want.”

Hermione’s eyes suddenly locked with his. His hands were nervous in hers and he was chuckling softly, and then Hermione realized something.

It was moments like this the she knew why she was holding out for him. Because they were such good friends, and she loved watching their relationship change and evolve and grow into something more.

She loved watching him blush and laugh and hold her hand. It was like a dream; a wonderful dream that was slowly coming true.

“Hermione?” he asked slowly, and she loved the hint of anxiety in his voice. His apprehension made him so human, which made him all the more endearing. It was his imperfections that made him perfect to her.

Hermione gave him a reassuring smile and squeezed his hand. “Yes?”

“Would you like to be my date for the wedding?”

His pleading blue eyes were sparkling with hope, making Hermione’s heart flutter. “I’d love to, Ron.”

He sighed and smiled in relief, bringing her fingers to his lips. “Thank you, Hermione.”

FIN

Concrit is always appreciated. ♥

Prison Break fic: Beyond the Walls of Fox River

2006-05-01T10:26:41Z

Title: Beyond the Walls of Fox River
Author: Miss Court-A-Doo
Rating: PG-ish
Pairings: Michael/Sara
Genre: angst/fluff
Summary: Michael did it; he broke his brother out of Fox River. See how this affects Sara Tancredi.
Warning: Um... angst abounds? Post escape (obviously), minor spoilers through 1x19 “The Key”
Disclaimer: I don’t own Michael or Sara, the belong to Fox. I just like to play with them.
Detication: This fic is deticated to my darling friend Krystina thismidnight. She introduced me to the fandom and to the wonderfulness that is Michael/Sara. She’s such an avid shipper, and I want to thank her for bringing me that joy. ♥

Beyond the Walls of Fox River

It was nearly 3am, and Doctor Sara Tancredi was lying awake in bed. She was upset, she was anxious, she was scared. Her body refused to be still and her mind would not rest. So much had happened to her in the past two months, two weeks, two days, and yet, she couldn’t seem to close her eyes long enough to actually sleep.

She had every reason to be mad. But instead, she was scared of what had happened to her, what he had done to her. The one man she had actually learned to care for without being under the influence of Morphine. And now, she couldn’t sleep because she knew there was a single shot of Morphine waiting in her purse beside her bed.

She wanted to feel mad at Michael for leaving, mad at herself for caring so much, mad at the world for being so damn unfair. But instead, she did care and she felt hurt, used, betrayed. All she was to him was a way out, a little pawn in his plan, using her to his advantage. Now he was gone; he had done what he came here to do. Lincoln Burrows, along with his brother and 5 others, were now gone.

When she first met Michael Scofield, she had believed that she could get through to him, help him. She wanted to find out what happened to him in his life that made him resort to rob a bank when he’d had such a promising life. But she’d learned the hard way that he was just like every other guy in that prison. A criminal with an agenda.

He’d lied to her. Countless times about things she had no idea of. He had tricked and conned her to caring, believing that they could have something more that the horrible prison life they’d chosen. And yet, she still believed in him. She still wanted to believe that he was a good man. Sacrificing all he had to save his brother’s life. He had claimed that the once charitable, caring man he used to be “died” once he entered Fox River. But Sara knew the truth.

He still cared, just like she did. He cared about people, about his brother, about her. He claimed to no longer be that man, but he had saved her life just days before. And not only that, but he saved her everyday. Not from danger, but from the monotony of prison life.

The men within the walls of Fox River generally had no hope. But he did. And he helped her see it everyday when she had no faith at all. Not in men, not in life. He managed to make her smile at every turn with teasing and flirting, origami flowers and tender kisses. Giving her hope, leading her on to believe in things like faith and love.

Leading her on. It was all a lie.

With a loud sigh and a heavy heart, Sara reached blindly into her purse. But instead of feeling the cold metal of the syringe, there was a thin dry piece of paper between her fingers. She pulled it out of her purse and opened her eyes, suddenly frozen. A simple white paper folded into quarters, with her name gently scrawled across it. The shot forgotten, she sat up and flipped on the lamp by her bed. Then she unfolded the note and began to read.

Sara,

This is not how I wanted this to end, with me gone and you feeling used and betrayed. It was never in my plan for this to happen. My agenda for coming to Fox River was simply to get my brother out. I didn’t plan on falling for you the way I did. It may have started out as a con, but you should know that it’s so much more than that now.

I know that in leaving you this note, I am endangering both your life and mine. But I trust you, Sara. And I need you to know how sorry I am for getting you involved in this mess. You have every right not to believe a word I’ve written and you’re probably a long way from being forgiving, but I’m not asking that. I am asking for your faith, Sara. I need you to believe me this once. After we’ve proved Lincoln’s innocence, I intend to come back for you. I meant it when I said there’s more for us beyond the walls of Fox River. And if you’ll have me then, I’ll prove it to you. But until that day, I’ll simply ask you one more time to wait for me.

All my love,
Michael Scofield

Sara closed her eyes to the burning tears, holding the note to her chest. He needed her faith, he needed her to believe. In him, in his words, in something. All she needed was some reassurance, something to have her faith grounded on. She looked down at the note in her hand; that was enough for her.

Sitting up in the bed, Sara reached down in her purse and grabbed the shot of Morphine. She didn’t feel in the least bit tempted, as she walked quickly to the bathroom, dropped it to the trash can where she watched it shatter and spill, and she didn’t feel any sudden urge to clean up her little mess. She didn’t feel restless or scared anymore. She felt peaceful. Safe. Hope.

Michael cared for her. He wouldn’t risk his life, his entire mission just to tell her another lie. Michael cared for her, and this knowledge caused feelings that were better than any drug-induced euphoria. This was a real feeling, real joy, real love.

With a smile on her face and the note still in hand, Sara Tancredi was finally able to sleep.

FIN

This is my first PB fic, so concrit is very much appreciated. ♥

Girl Behind The Scowl - Pansy Parkinson Mix

2006-05-01T00:02:28Z

I remembered this mix that I never finished while I was in the middle of writing some HP fanfiction. I hope you all enjoy it! ^_^

01. We Will Rock You / We Are The Champions - Queen
We are the champions, my friends
And we'll keep fighting till the end.

The ultimate Slytherin song.

02. Cold - Crossfade
I never really wanted you to see
The screwed up side of me that I keep
Locked inside of me so deep

The secret part of Pansy that resents everything Slytherins are known for.

03. Witchy Woman - The Eagles
Raven hair and ruby lips,
sparks fly from her fingertips
Echoed voices in the night
She’s a restless spirit on an endless flight

Self explanitory. :D

04. Man Eater - Hall and Oats
She's deadly man, and she could really rip your world apart
Mind over matter, the beauty is there but a beast is in the heart

When it comes to men, she's only in it for the game.

05. Hurt So Good - John Mellancamp
Just tryin´ to give myself a little bit of fun, yeah
You always look so invitin´
You ain´t as green as you are young
Sometimes love don´t feel like it should
You make it hurt so good

Pansy has a way of making them come back for more, even when she's turned them away.

06. Holding Out For A Hero - Frou Frou
Somewhere after midnight
In my wildest fantasy
Somewhere just beyond my reach
There's someone reaching back for me

She won't admit it, but she's waiting for a hero to appear and save her.

07. Crush - Jennifer Paige
It's just a little crush
Not like I faint every time we touch
It's just some little thing
Not like everything I do depends on you

Pansy has a crush, and tries to tell herself it's not a big deal.

08. You Don't Know Me - Michael Buble'
No, you don't know the one
Who dreams of you at night
And longs to kiss your lips
And longs to hold you tight
Oh I'm just a friend
That's all I've ever been
'Cause you don't know me

Someone close to Pansy owns her heart, yet he doesn't know.

09. I Can't Make You Love Me - Bonnie Raitt
I’ll close my eyes, then I won’t see
The love you don’t feel when you’re holding me
Morning will come and I’ll do what’s right
Just give me till then to give up this fight

She may sleep with random men, but she can't find the real love she needs with them.

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Complex Simplicity: Jack/Kate Mix

2006-04-25T16:14:20Z

This one has been a long time coming; making a mix for me. Cover art that I'm actually proud of, songs that I actually like, and a pairing that I couldn't love more. ^_^ This mix really explores the depth the Jack and Kate's relationship: what it is, what it isn't, how it changes and grows and falls apart everytime we turn around. Check it out and enjoy!!

01. FIX YOU - COLDPLAY
When you're too in love to let it go
If you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

02. ON FIRE - SWITCHFOOT
You are the hope I have for change
You are the only chance I’ll take
When I’m on fire when you’re near me
I’m on fire when you speak
And I’m on fire, burning at these mysteries

03. HANGING BY A MOMENT - LIFEHOUSE
Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
I'm closer to where I started
Chasing after you
I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you

04. THE REAL THING - BO BICE
Tell me what we got, tell me it's a lot
Tell me it's the real thing
Tell me not to change and always be the same,
tell me that's a good thing, It's a good thing
Tell me not to lie, tell me not to wait
Tell me that you want the same things as me
Tell me that it's fate driving me insane
Tell me it's the real thing that keeps me hangin on
I can read the signs between us

05. FOR YOU - THE CALLING
Someone's changed me
Something's saved me
And this is who I am
Although I was blinded
My heart let me find out
That truth makes a better man
Within the darkness
You are the light that shines a way
In this blind justice
I can be that man who saves the day

06. MORE THAN WORDS - BBMAK
Saying 'I Love you' is not the words
I want to hear from you
It's not that I want you not to say
But if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do
To make it real then you wouldn't have to say
That you love me I'd already know

07. ONLY HOPE - MANDY MOORE
There's a song that's inside of my soul.
It's the one that I've tried to write over and over again
I'm awake in the infinite cold.
But you sing to me over and over and over again.
So, I lay my head back down.
And I lift my hands and pray
To be only yours, I pray, to be only yours
I know now you're my only hope.

08. PUSH - SARAH MCLACHLAN
You stay the course you hold the line you keep it all together
You're the one true thing I know I can believe in
You're all the things that I desire, you save me, you complete me
You're the one true thing I know I can believe
I get mad so easy but you give me room to breathe
No matter what I say or do 'cause you're to good to fight about it
Even when I have to push just to see how far you'll go
You wont stoop down to battle but you never turn to go

09. RUNNING AWAY - FUEL
Hearts are never made of stone
Pain will cut you to the bone
But I know that holding you is all so wrong
So tonight's the last we'll ever be alone
So I thirst for the water
I find myself wanting now

10. SAVIN' ME - NICKELBACK
Prison gates won't open up for me
On these hands and knees I'm crawlin'
Oh, I reach for you
Well I'm terrified of these four walls
These iron bars can't hold my soul in
All I need is you
Come please I'm callin'
And oh I scream for you

11. YOU FOUND ME - KELLY CLARKSON
You found me when no one else was lookin'
How did you know just where I would be?
Yeah, you broke through all of my confusion
The ups and the downs and you still didn't leave
I guess that you saw what nobody could see
You found me

12. I SHALL BELIEVE - SHERYL CROW
That not everything is gonna be the way
You think it ought to be
It seems like every time I try to make it right
It all comes down on me
Please say honestly you won't give up on me
And I shall believe
No one heals me like you
And you hold the key

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Emmy/Gerard Mix: Possibilities

2006-04-22T07:10:18Z

While I'm working the kinks out of my Emmy/Gerard fanfic, and slowly but surely becomming obsessed with Prison Break, I made this little mix as a contribution to the beautiful pair. That being Emmy Rossum and Gerard Butler, of course. Even if you don't like them, just check out the music. I know you'll love it! ^_^

01. SO CAUGHT UP IN YOU - 38 SPECIAL
So caught up in you, little girl,
and I never did suspect a thing.

02. ANGEL - AEROSMITH
You're my angel, come and save me tonight.

03. SHE'S GOT A WAY - BILLY JOEL
She's got a way about her,
I don't know what it is,
but I know that I can't live without her.

04. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT LOVE IS - FOREIGNER
I wanna know what love is,
I want you to show me.

05. DON'T LET GO - BRYAN ADAMS feat. SARAH MCLACHLAN
You get my senses running wild,
I can't resist your sweet, sweet smile.

06. TO MAKE YOU FEEL MY LOVE - GARTH BROOKS
I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong.

07. BLESS THE BROKEN ROAD - RASCAL FLATTS
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms.

08. BRIGHTER THAN SUNSHINE - AQUALUNG
I never saw it happening, I'd given up and given in
I just couldn't take the hurt again, what a feeling.
I didn't have the strength to fight, suddenly you seemed so right
Me and you, what a feeling.

09. THIS WILL BE (AN EVERLASTING LOVE) - NATALIE COLE
Loving you is some kind of wonderful,
Because you show me just how much you care.

10. WHEN I FALL IN LOVE - CELINE DION feat. CLIVE GRIFFIN
When I fall in love
It will be forever
Or I'll never fall in love
In a restless world like this is
Love is ended before it's begun
And too many moonlight kisses
Seem to cool in the warmth of the sun
When I give my heart
I give it completely
Or I'll never give my heart
And the moment I can feel that you feel that way too
Is when I fall in love with you.

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Friends Cut

2006-03-29T14:03:19Z

I did a smallish friends cut. I probably won't be going on hiatus anytime soon, but I may get more personal in my rl entries, and I only want those on my flist that I especially KNOW, or that I know really care about me. We didn't click, comment enough, whatever. I'm sorry if I've hurt or offended someone. Comments are screened if you have anything to say.

R/H ficlet: Peaceful Whispers

2006-02-20T03:44:00Z

Title: Peaceful Whispers
Author: Miss Courtadoo
Rating: PG
Length: 501 words
Pairings: Ron/Hermione
Genre: simple fluff
Summary: It's snowing outside, and Hermione needs to stay warm.
Warnings: Short little ficlet set after Half-Blood Prince. Spoilers. Obviously.
Disclaimer: I don't own Ron, Hermione or Harry. I simply own their snuggly-ness.... or not.

PEACEFUL WHISPERS

Hermione quietly slipped into the tent and kicked off her shoes. She saw Harry and Ron both asleep, the two of them struggling to keep warm despite the lightly falling snow outside. Hermione smiled; she loved watching them sleep. Mouths open, taking in deep even breaths, ruffled hair even more unruly, and eyes that were usually tainted with fear or worry were now peacefully closed in a deep sleep.

She closed her own eyes as a rush of ice cold air whispered through the tent. There was always that constant reminder that they were never alone, always in danger. The search for the Horcruxes was a dangerous and risky mission. And keeping a low profile was necessary to their safety and protection. Thus the three of them, the infamous Golden Trio, sleeping in a muggle camping tent in the snow in the middle of no where. The thought made her smile, a light giggle escaping her throat before she could stop it.

"Hermione?" Her eyes flew open at the sound of a fierce whisper calling her name. Ron was propped up on his elbow, watching her carefully. "What are you doing?"

"I, uh... just got back from my shower." She explained. "I didn't want to wake you."

"Well, it's too late for that now." he whispered back, pulling his blanket down. "You're shivering, get over here."

Hermione was grateful that the darkness had covered the pink blush that had risen to her cheeks. "I'm fine with my own blanket," she said, motioning towards her own tattered blanket.

"Girl, this blanket is twice my size. Besides, the body heat will keep us both warm." he urged.

She smiled and relented, hunkering down beside him. A thrill came over her as she felt his body behind her, pressing flush against her back.

After a few moments, Ron coughed. "Your hair smells funny."

She chuckled quietly. "Well, I would hope so. I just washed it, silly."

She felt him grow closer as he whispered, "It smells like flowers, it's pretty. I like it."

She smiled as she snuggled closer, enjoying the warm she found beside him. "I like the sound of your heart beat."

After a moment, he responded with, "Um... thank you?"

She giggled. "It's steady and strong, just like you."

Hermione fancied the rhythm of his heart increased just then as his breath caught. Then she felt his whisper on her ear. "It only beats for one reason, Hermione."

Her heart swelled at his words. She reached behind her and took hold of his hand, pulling it around her waist and snuggled closer. She couldn't stop that smile that spread across her lips at the feeling of peace and contentment that suddenly overcame her, as she relished the warmth of his arms. She felt perfectly safe, like nothing in the world could go wrong.

"Goodnight, Ron." she whispered.

He placed a gentle kiss into her hair before he whispered, "G'nite, Hermione."

And for the first time in a long time, she slept peacefully.

FIN

Feedback is appreciated. ^_^

Mal/Inara Mix: Missing You

2006-01-21T03:50:54Z

I have a couple unfinished mixes sitting on my desktop. And since I was kinda on a Mal/Inara kick lately, I decided to finish this one. Finished the cover art, added a little spice with some more songs, including some country songs to give it a little Firefly-ish "out in the black" sound to it. It's kinda based on what happens between Mal and Inara between "Objects in Space" and the BDM. In other words... nothing, of course. Don't get what I'm saying, then just click the link. Or you could, you know, read the title again.

01) The Trouble With Love - Kelly Clarkson
The trouble with love is
It can tear you up inside
Make your heart believe a lie
Gets stronger then your pride
The trouble with love is
It doesn’t care how fast you fall
And you can’t refuse the call
See you’ve got no say at all

Love can only cause problems for the relationship between Mal and Inara.

02) White Flag - Dido
But if I didn't say it, I'd still have felt it
Where's the sense in that?
I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were
I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

Inara finds herself falling in love with Mal, and accepting it.

03) Desperado - The Eagles
Desperado, oh, you ain't gettin' no younger
Your pain and your hunger, they're drivin' you home
And freedom, oh freedom well, that's just some people talkin'
Your prison is walking through this world all alone
Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?
Come down from your fences, open the gate
It may be rainin', but there's a rainbow above you
You better let somebody love you, before it's too late

Mal is hard, cold and very cowboy-ish, thus, the song.

04) How Far - Martina McBride
Out of this chair, or just across the room
Halfway down the block or halfway to the moon
How far do I have to go to make you understand
I wanna make this work so much it hurts, but I just can't
Keep on giving, go on living with the way things are
So I'm gonna walk away
And it's up to you to say how far

Inara wants Mal to ask her to stay.

05) Baby When You're Gone - Bryan Adams feat. Melanie C
I've been wandering around the house all night
Wondering what the hell to do
Yeah, I'm trying to concentrate but all I can think of is you
Baby when you're gone, I realize I'm in love
days go on and on, and the nights just seem so long
Even food don't taste that good, drink ain't doing what it should
things just feel so wrong, baby when you're gone

Mal and Inara miss each other after she leaves Serenity.

06) Kiss The Rain - Billie Myers
Hello, can you hear me?
Am I gettin' through to you?
Hello, is it late there?
There's a laughter on the line
Are you sure you're there alone?
Cause I'm tryin' to explain
Somethin's wrong you just don't sound the same
Why don't you go outside
Kiss the rain whenever you need me
Kiss the rain whenever I'm gone, too long.
If your lips feel lonely and thirsty
Kiss the rain and wait for the dawn.
Keep in mind, we're under the same sky
And the nights as empty for me, as for you
If you feel you can't wait till morinin'
Kiss the rain

The tension/angst in their first wave. Plus, it's just a pretty song
and I love it.

07) Nobody Wants To Be Lonely - Ricky Martin feat. Christina Aguilera
Nobody wants to be lonely
Nobody wants to cry
My body's longing to hold you
So bad it hurts inside
Time is precious and it's slipping away
And I've been waiting for you all of my life
Nobody wants to be lonely
So why don't you let me love you

I used to be so in love with this song. But it's still pretty and has
alot of meaning.

08) Someday We'll Know - Mandy Moore feat. Jonathan Foreman
Two years late, you're still on my mind
Who holds the stars up in the sky?
Is true love just once in a lifetime?
Did the captain of the Titanic cry?
Someday we'll know if love can move a mountain
Someday we'll know why the sky is blue
Someday we'll know why I wasn't meant for you
Someday we'll know why Samson loved Delilah
One day I'll go dancing on the moon
Someday you'll know that I was the one for you

Someday they'll know (obviously) if their love could work, but not today.
*kicks Joss*

09) Miss Me Baby - Chris Cagle
I'm a man, I was wrong, forgive me
Come back home, I'll be waiting, right here waiting
Miss me baby
Because when he's holding you
Know that it's killing me
Let my memory be the reason girl
That you can't sleep
And every time you feel his touch
I pray to God it's not enough
And that I've touched your heart so deep
Girl you can't shake me
Cause I love you, yes I love you
Miss me baby

Mal doesn't want Inara to go off with her clients, he wants her love for himself.

10) Far Away - Nickleback
So far away, been far away for far too long
So far away been far away for far too long
But you know, I wanted, I wanted you to stay
Cause I needed, I need to hear you say
That I love you, I have loved you all along
And I forgive you, for being away for far too long
So keep breathing, cause I'm not leaving you anymore
Believe it, hold on to me and, never let me go

After she's been gone from Serenity for too long, she decides to stay.

Bonus Track: Not included in Zip
What Hurts The Most - Rascal Flatts
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that
I saved in my heart that I left unspoken
What hurts the most is being so close
And having so much to say and watching you walk away
And never knowing what could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Mal wanted to show his love to Inara, but he didn't do it in time.
And then she left.

Zipped file with tracks and art from YSI
Zipped file with tracks and art from MU

Comment when downloading. If you'd like one track in particular, I'll be happy to comply. Please let me know when the links run out, and I'll upload them again. Enjoy!

xposted at fandomsounds, fanmix and mal_inara

Lost fic: Care

2006-01-12T06:25:45Z

Title: Care
Author: Miss Courtadoo
Rating: PG
Pairings: Jack/Kate, mentions Sawyer
Genre: angst
Summary: Jack is serious when he tells Kate that she's not coming this time.
Warnings: Based on the promo for "The Hunting Party"
Disclaimer: I don't own Lost. Wish I did, though. I would be a very rich woman.
Author's Notes: I basically wrote this in my head during the 20 minute drive home from my friends house after "The 23rd Psalm" and seeing the promo for next week. O_O

CARE

"Michael's gone... he took the guns...

The stress was getting to Jack's head. It was affecting his judgement, his eye sight. He didn't really hear the people around him, he didn't see what others were doing, he didn't even care what they were saying. He was just so distraught that everything had gone so wrong.

Hadn't he told Michael the day before that they would go out looking for Walt as soon as they could? They were still trying to cope with Shannon's sudden death, the return of the rafters, "welcoming" the tail-end survivors, getting everyone settled in before taking off again.

But Michael was bound and determined to get Walt back, and that was throwing a wrench in all of Jack's plans.

Locke, Sawyer and Jack grabbed a couple guns and were walking from the camp when Jack heard footsteps behind him. "I'm going too."

Jack closed his eyes. He did not need this now. Not from her. Not when he was already worried and stressed and jealous to all ends when it came to Kate. He didn't know how to handle her now, not after that kiss. And he didn't want to be her superior, he didn't want to tell her what to do. But he sure as hell wanted her safe.

Jack glanced over his shoulder and shook his head.

"No, you're not."

Jack could feel Sawyer's eyes on him, almost hear the smirk that was sitting plain as day on his face. But he ignored it, just like he was ignoring Kate's plea to come along.

"I'm coming, Jack. And there's nothing you can do to-"

"You're not coming!" Jack practically screamed as he whirled around at her. He had shocked her into silence and took this opportunity to try and explain his outburst.

"I'm trying to protect you." he whispered fiercely as he took a step closer to her. While it drove his senses off the chart being this close to her again, he tried to remain focused.

"I don't need your protection, Jack." she spat back. "And I sure as hell don't need your permission."

Jack then placed a tender hand on her arm and instantly his features softened. He lowered his voice; he didn't exactly want Locke and Sawyer to hear what he was about to say. He was actually unsure if he wanted Kate herself to hear it.

"Look, I don't know what set you off like that the other day," he said quietly, and Kate looked away, trying to avoid the subject of 'the other day', "but whatever it was, I don't want it to happen again. I'm trying to keep you safe, Kate. I don't want you to hurt anymore."

She shook her head, but met his gaze. "You're a doctor, Jack, but you can't fix everything."

He nodded. "You're right. But I can at least try to prevent the things I can't fix from happening."

She quirked an eyebrow at him unbelievingly, so he took another step closer to whisper in her ear, "Listen, Kate... I care about you... and I'm just doing what I think is right."

He pulled back, and looked into her eyes. "Please stay?" he quietly begged.

She looked into his urgent face for a moment before she reluctantly rolled her eyes. "Fine." And he turned to walk away, she caught his arm and pulled him in close again.

"I don't want you to..." but she didn't finish her sentence.

Jack watched her carefully as she cast her eyes to the ground apprehensively. "What? You don't want me to go? Or you don't want me to care?"

She looked up at his words and shrugged. "I don't know. Both."

Jack wanted to touch her, to hold her, to reach out and kiss her again. Again and again. But now was not the time.

"Well, that's too bad, because I am going." he paused before completely turning away. "And I do care."

And then he did walk away. He didn't care about the look of defeat in Sawyer's eyes, or the hurt mixed with hope in Kate's; all he cared about was dealing with the crisis at hand.

FIN

Feedback is much appreciated. ♥

House/Cameron mix: Hopeless

2006-01-07T04:51:40Z

So apparently, this show has eaten my brain in the span of 2 weeks. I am now utterly obsessed. And though I am undecided about some other ships on the show, this one has totally won on the "beautiful angst" list. So today when I got home from work, even though I'm going out of town tomorrow, I had no choice but to make a mix and put it up for the rest of you to enjoy. ^_^

01) Baba O'Riley - The Who
I don't need to fight
To prove I'm right
I don't need to be forgiven

This song is so House, I couldn't not include it. :D

02) Let Me Go - 3 Doors Down
One more kiss could be the best thing
Or one more lie could be the worst
And all these thoughts are never resting
And your not something I deserve
I dream ahead to what I hope for
And I turn my back on loving you
How can this love be a good thing
You love me but you don't know who I am

Cameron doesn't know the real House.

03) Hopelessly Devoted - Olivia Newton-John
My head is saying "fool, forget him",
my heart is saying "don't let go"
Hold on to the end, that's what I intend to do
I'm hopelessly devoted to you
But now there's nowhere to hide,
since you pushed my love aside I'm not in my head

Cameron still loves House, even when he pushes her away.

04) Beautfiful Disaster - Kelly Clarkson [Live]
He drowns in his dreams
An exquisite extreme I know
He’s as damned as he seems
More heaven than a heart could hold
And if I try to save him
My whole world could cave in
It just ain’t right

House thinks that Cameron's just going after him because he's "damaged."

05) I Want Love - Elton John
I want love, but it's impossible
A man like me, so irresponsible
A man like me is dead in places
Other men feel liberated
I can't love, shot full of holes
Don't feel nothing, I just feel cold
Don't feel nothing, just old scars
Toughening up around my heart

House was "kicked in the nads" by love once, so he's scared to try again.

06) More Than Words - Extreme
Saying I love you
Is not the words I want to hear from you
It's not that I want you not to say,
But if you only knew how easy
it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldn't have to say that you love me
Cause I'd already know

Cameron wants House to show how he really feels.

07) More Than A Feeling - Boston
When I’m tired and thinking cold
I hide in my music, forget the day
And dream of a girl I used to know
I closed my eyes and she slipped away

Another old rock song. House's love for music and his feelings when Cameron leaves.

08) Long, Long Way To Go - Def Leppard [Acoustic]
You held my hand and then you slipped away
And I may never see your face again
So tell me how do to fill the emptiness inside
Without love, what is life?

Cameron showed House what love is, and he wants it back after she leaves.

09) The First Cut Is The Deepest - Sheryl Crow
I would have given you all of my heart
but there's someone who's torn it apart
and she's taking almost all that I've got
but if you want, I'll try to love again

Cameron doesn't know what's going on with House and Stacy, so she's scared to love him.

10) Cry - Faith Hill
Could you cry a little
Lie just a little
Pretend that your feeling a little more pain
I gave now I'm wanting
Something in return
So cry just a little for me

House is so emotionless, she just wants him to feel something, even if it isn't love.

11) Because Of You - Kelly Clarkson
Because of you, I never strayed too far from the sidewalk
Because of you, I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you, I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you, I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you, I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you, I am afraid

After House broke her heart, she's afraid to love anyone again, and it's his fault.

12) I Can't Make You Love Me - Bonnie Raitt
Don't patronize me
Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these final hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power
But you won't, no you won't
'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't

This is Cameron's last chance to see if House really loves her.

Bonus Track - Not included in Zip
Brighter Than Sunshine - Aqualung
I never understood before
I never knew what love was for
My heart was broke, my head was sore
What a feeling
Tied up in ancient history
I didnt believe in destiny
I look up you're standing next to me
What a feeling
What a feeling in my soul
Love burns brighter than sunshine

House never understood love with Stacy. But after he meets Cameron,
she's a ray of sunshine in his life; she can help him understand what love really is. ♥

~~Zipped file with tracks and art from YSI~~
Zipped file with tracks and art from MU
New link as of April 30th

Comment when downloading. If you'd like one track in particular, I'll be happy to comply.
Please let me know when the links run out, and I'll upload them again. Enjoy!

xposted at fandomsounds, fanmix and house_cameron

House fanfic: Sparks

2006-01-05T12:45:39Z

Title: Sparks
Author: Miss Courtadoo
Rating: PG
Pairings: House/Cameron, mentions Stacy
Genre: angst and fluff
Summary: House is having dreams again.
Warnings: Set a few months after "Deception"
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Sad, I know. Well, I mean, I own my car, and my phone...

SPARKS

Love is just a friendship set on fire.

He used to dream of Stacy.

She used to be the one thing that consumed his mind every night. Her smile, her laugh, the way she used to hold him and kiss him. The way her eyes flashed when she was “pissy” and the way they would sparkle at him when she wasn’t. Every little thing about her used to haunt his dreams, tormenting his ever-busy mind.

The way she said, “I hate you.” The way she said “I love you.” All the words she had said, more like yelled, at him for ruining her life a second time. He was simply trying to prove a point, but no. Instead, he had ruined things with her husband. She had blamed it all on him and left the hospital, resigning as the Attorney. The last he saw of her, she’d practically spat in his face when she said she never wanted to see him again.

Well, good riddance.

House expected that when she left she would take her devise of tortures with her. And technically she did, but she left behind something far worse.

Dreams of Cameron.

It was entirely unexpected, though not wholly unwelcome. He had suspected that when the beautiful young doctor had been so enamored with him, of course there was a little spark of curiosity that had captured his heart as to why she had become so attached to him. But it was ignored and hidden by the current crisis of relationship with Stacy.

But now she was gone. And his brain obviously took advantage of that fact by bringing forward the previously secreted feelings for one Dr. Cameron by way of REM cycle.

After his first dream, he felt quite awkward being around her, and decided to send her away as much as possible. But the more she was gone, the more he craved her presence. All her little quirks about responsibility and doing the right thing. The way her smile lit up the room, her smart little attitude, the way she handled her patients... all these things that he before found annoying, were now terribly endearing. And he had no idea how to handle it.

His dreams were always abnormal and unexpected, but not when Cameron was starring. She would always appear broken-hearted, in tears, a hateful glare in her eyes, repeating Stacy’s words, over and over again. "I hate you, I love you." And after many sleepless nights, filled with nothing but Cameron, he decided that maybe she was right.

Maybe he didn’t care what people said or did, maybe he was a selfish bastard. But he couldn’t stand that thought of Cameron hating him, as she had so claimed. He would work out his differences with Stacy...someday. They would make things right eventually. But he couldn’t live day to day if this young beauty was still broken hearted over him.

“I want to see her blood test and we’ll need a CT scan stat. Cuddy has me on Clinic duty all day, so I don’t want to see any of you till after lunch. Unless anyone’s willing to trade...?”

His three little employees shot out of their seats and made a beeline for the door, Cameron being last in line. He struggled inwardly for a moment, his head and his heart arguing over what to do. But in the end, his tongue won out.

“Doctor Cameron,” he called after her. She turned to look at him with those ever-curious eyes, letting the glass door fall closed.

“Yes?”

He eyed her for a moment before speaking, he wanted her to know he was being serious. “I have a personal, somewhat embarrassing question to ask, and I’d like an honest answer.”

She blinked, without knowing what to expect. “All right.”

He nodded. Anxiety overcame him and he turned to look at nothing on the wall. “You once told me that you hated me, just like everyone else. I was wondering if that was still true.” He said in a rush.

Again she blinked, mouth gaping, not knowing what to say. When he dared to sneak a glance, she was still in a shocked silence.

“And I would like to know within... the next couple seconds.”

She looked up at him daringly. “Do I still hate you? I don’t really know right now, I’d have to think about it.”

He sighed. “Any way I could help you make the decision any faster?”

Her eyes narrowed at his impatience and she smirked. “Yeah, you could kiss me.” she replied sarcastically, turning to leave the room.

But when he gently caught hold of her hand, she turned in surprise. He took a step forward and set his cane on the table. There was no teasing smile on his lips now, he wanted her to know that he really was intent on kissing her. He placed one hand easily on her waist and the other tilted her chin upwards. He ran his thumb over her bottom lip softly before he leaned in to cover her mouth with his own.

It was a slow kiss, gentle and careful. He didn’t want to rush this, he wanted to savor the moment. And he definitely didn’t want her to think that he didn’t like her. Because, as he was slowly convincing himself, he sure as hell did.

She tasted like cinnamon sugar, sweet and spicy, and just like heaven, which made so much harder when it came time to pull away. But the way she was responding to his kiss let him know in ways that words could never say, that she definitely did not hate him. And that was all he needed to know.

When he did pull back, Cameron’s face was flushed and she look down, trying to catch her unsteady breath. House smiled down at the girl before taking a step past her, grabbing his cane off the table in the process.

“That should last you for a couple days, you know where to find me when you want to answer my question.” He then held the door open with his cane. “In the meantime, there is a woman named Natalie who is desperate to find the results of a CT scan, as am I...”

He let his voice trail off, but it didn’t do any good. Cameron was still standing there, gazing out the back windows of his office, still in awe about what had just transpired.

“Cameron!” he said loudly, shaking her from her thoughts. She turned suddenly to see him raise his eyebrows.

“CT?”

“Oh. Yeah. Right.”

House smiled as she rushed from the room, still red in the face and looking at him quizzically over her shoulder from down the hall. He chuckled to himself as he moved back to his desk, plugging in his iPod. Maybe if he turned the music up loud enough, Cuddy wouldn’t be able to find him.

---

This is my first "House" fic, so all feedback is appreciated. ♥

It's that time again...

2005-12-31T02:32:48Z

I did another small friend cut. Either we didn't "click" or you didn't really show an interest in me. It's nothing personal, you're all great people, but it needed to be done. I'm sorry if I've hurt someone's feelings. I wish you all the best in the new year.

Comments are screened if you want to say anything.

Serenity fanfic: Normal?

2005-12-27T21:16:09Z

Title: Normal?
Author: Miss Courtadoo
Rating: PG
Pairings: Mal/Inara
Genre: utter fluff
Summary: Inara's first "job" since returning to the ship.
Warnings: Post BDM, minor spoilers
Disclaimer: Joss is Boss. He owns everything.
Author's Notes: Hee. This idea came to me this morning while deciding whether or not to get out of bed, and I wrote this at work while I was supposed to be working. LoL! ^_^ But there's simply not enought Mal/Inara-ness in the world, so here is another little tid-bit of my contribution. Just a short little ficlet full of fluffy stuff, just let me know what you think. Thanks!

NORMAL?

"'Nara?"

She tried to ignore the shiver that rushed down her spine, but it didn't do much good. She tried to tell herself it was ridiculous that she should still be so attached to him, but that didn't do much good either.

Mal strode into her shuttle as he always did. But she wasn't cross with him; in fact, it made her smile. After everything that had happened, maybe things were getting back to normal. She was back on Serenity, where she really belonged. And Mal was... well, Mal was Mal.

"You goin' out tonight?" he asked casually.

She smirked. "Are we stopping in Persephone so you can get your feet dirty?"

"I'd actually prefer that." Mal said, getting comfortable on her couch as she applied the last touches of her make up. "You stay all nice and cozy up in here and I go out, pick a fight, do some petty thieving and we take off 'fore the Alliance even knows we're here."

She paused, her pulse starting to race. "You'd rather I stay on the ship?" she said, trying to sound casual.

"I like to know my crew is safe and accounted for." Mal said firmly, playing with the fringe on one of her pillows.

She turned and smiled at him. "I'm part of the crew?"

Mal chuckled. "Course. After all you contributed into helping us get rid o'that no good vixen, I'd say you earned your keep."

"You mean to say, Mrs. Reynolds." she smirked.

"Oh, come on, 'Nara." Mal said, looking up at her. "You know she ain't the girl for me."

Her smile froze as she looked into his eyes, wanting to understand his full meaning, but fearing what his words meant at the same time.

"Ah, gorramit Inara," he chuckled as he stood. "You and your feminine wiles made me forget what I came in here for."

"You mean it wasn't just to come bask in my presence?" she teased.

"As a matter of fact, yes." Inara's head snapped up at his words. "I was going to ask you if you wanted to join me for a cup of tea out on the midway."

She looked away for a moment, letting the meaning fully sink in. The last time she had talked of leaving, after that ball and Mal's duel with Atherton, she had spent the evening with Mal sipping on tea and sharing civilized conversation. She enjoyed moments like that with Mal; in fact she treasured them. When they weren't tearing each other down and battling for their lives, the simple moments when they could share shy smiles and tender touches, those moments were sacred to Inara.

"But I can tell you're busy getting ready to visit your client," Mal said in a rushed voice, shaking Inara from her thoughts. He stood and made way for the door, but Inara tried to stay him.

"Uh... Mal?" she called after him, taking a step towards the door. He poked his head back into the room. "Can I take a rain check?"

He smiled that appreciative satisfied smile, that truly happy smile of his and nodded. "Sure, 'Nara." He lingered for a moment before he added, "Just... don't pick a time when I'm out looting or killing or something of the like."

She giggled. "Of course, Mal."

Again he paused, but this time his eyes lingered on her. "You look... mighty beautiful tonight, Inara."

She looked away shyly, trying to hide the way his words affected her. "Thank you," she said with a small smile.

Then he nodded and he was gone. She let out a deep breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. Okay, so maybe things weren't getting exactly back to normal, but it was a nice change.

FIN

Feedback is much appreciated. ^_^

Firefly fanfic - The Day She Left

2005-12-22T05:04:30Z

Title: The Day She Left
Author: Miss Courtadoo
Rating: PG
Pairings: Mal/Inara, Simon/Kaylee, River/Jayne, Wash/Zoe
Length: 1505 words
Genre: angst, fluff, humor,
Summary: Inara's leaving Serenity, and it affects more than she knows.
Warnings: Set just after "Objects in Space"
Disclaimer: Joss is Boss. He owns everything.
Author's Notes: This is an old fic I wrote just as I was finishing up watching the series for the first time. I recently found it and decided to post it. I hope you all like it! ^_^

THE DAY SHE LEFT

Jayne shook himself awake again, a large firearm across his massive chest and a bright orange cap covering his eyes. He was, of course, only resting his eyes, but his mind was ever awake, trying to keep his ears alert for intruders. On a rich and fancy planet swarming with Alliance like Persephone, you could never be too sure what low-life might want to sneak onboard a piece of feng le boat like Serenity. Either way, Jayne’s busy mind was keeping him awake, whether he liked it or not.

It’s ridiculous, he thought. Why would Inara even consider leaving Serenity? She’s got it made. She gets paid to sleep with people, was on a ship that she loved beyond reason, got herself good recognition as a companion across the verse, good friends - scratch that - a good family on board, not to mention Mal... maybe that’s why she was leavin...

“You look good in red.”

His thoughts were once again interrupted at the sound of River’s voice and he smiled as he lifted his orange hat. She stood in the doorway leaning up against the metal frame, dressed in her simple pajamas. But her eyes were sparkling with energy and her smile was intent on him, staring him down like the crazy that she was. Jayne couldn’t help but smile when he looked at the girl.

“So I’ve been told.” he chuckled. “What’re you doin out of bed, little one? Your brother finds you out here in the dark talking to little ol’ Jayne, he might blow a gasket...”

“Do you like to be alone when you’re scared?”

Jayne stumbled over his words as she interrupted him. “Wha? I ain’t scared. What I got to be scared of?”

“Sad, that Inara is leaving. Scared of how her absence will change Serenity, change the captain.” she said simply.

Jayne smirked at her, leaning back again in his uncomfortable chair. “So you’ve seen it too, eh?”

“I’ve seen more than your eyes will ever see.” she said solemnly.

“Well, if that ain’t the biggest load of bull,” Jayne laughed. “How old are you seventeen, maybe eighteen? You were cooped up in that school for who knows how long, and you’ve been stuck on this ship for less than that... you think you’ve seen more than me, a killin’ man that’s twice your age? How could you possibly know...”

But he slowly stopped talking when he ‘heard’ a familiar voice in his head. “I have my ways,” it sang sweetly.

“The way I know that Simon is scared to make any romantic advances towards Kaylee. The way I know that Wash is scared about Zoe having a baby. The way I know that the Captain is scared of Inara leaving. And the way I know that you are scared of me.”

It took Jayne a moment to register everything she had just told him. “Psht,” was his response. “I ain’t scared of you.”

Once again, he heard the sweet girl’s voice in his head. “Remember, I can kill you with my brain.”

“Okay girl, you have got to stop doing that!” he almost shouted.

River smiled. “You’re cute when you’re mad.”

This made Jayne laugh out loud. “Yeah, well you’re pretty cute yourself when you’re not trying to hack at me with a butcher knife.”

When she giggled and disappeared behind the wall, he sat back against the wall once again, pulling the orange cap back over his eyes. Maybe if I kiss that pretty little mouth of hers, she’ll stop talking and I can go back to resting.

“You can’t kiss me, silly Jayne.” he heard her say as she stuck her head around the corner. “Simon would blow a gasget.” she said, mimicking him.

Jayne only smiled. “The thought never crossed my mind.”

River turned once again and left with a smile on her face that wouldn’t go away. She decided she rather liked the feeling that went along with it.

“Jayne thinks I’m pretty.”

---

“River?”

Simon was searching the entire ship for her. After that man Early had come to the ship, he’d kept an extra eye on his sister. At the moment, it was late and she wasn’t in her bunk. This worried him. Maybe she was keeping Kaylee company as she finished checking up on the heart of Serenity. Maybe she was out annoying the preacher, or watching Inara pack her things. Or she could be talking with Jayne...

“River!”

But suddenly, he heard something that made him stop dead in his tracks. His eyes darted around but saw nothing. He took a few steps, then saw where the distress was obvious; Kaylee.

“Kaylee?” She looked up at him and quickly wiped away her tears. “What’s the matter?”

“Go away, Simon.” she said in an unsteady voice. “There’s nothing you can do here.”

“No, you need to talk, and I’ve always been a good listener.” he said, taking a seat beside her and putting an arm around her shoulder for good measure.

“There’s nothing to talk about.” she replied, blowing her nose in a dirty rag. “I’m just a girl who’s losing her best friend.”

Simon pulled her close as a new wave of tears began. She didn’t wipe them away this time, she just cried and let him hold her.

“Why would ‘Nara want to leave?” Kaylee sobbed. “Serenity’s been real good to her. I thought she liked it here.”

“Of course she does.” Simon said soothingly.

“It’s good business, good friends - why would she leave?”

“Everyone has a life off Serenity, Kaylee. We can’t stay forever.”

“I don’t.” she said firmly. “Cap’n don’t. Even Zoe and Wash are goin’ to have a baby here on Serenity. We all have a life here... I just don’t see why she can’t.” Her voice died in her throat and she grew tearful again, but Simon just held her for a long time. It apparently was the right thing to do, because she eventually cried herself to sleep in his arms. He awkwardly but gently picked her up and carefully carried her to her bunk. When he finally laid her there, she still held her arms around his neck.

“Do you think I’m pretty, Simon?” she whispered drowsily.

Simon swallowed hard. She was drowsy and emotionally drained, so surely she didn’t mean anything she said...

He simply nodded and decided to answer truthfully. “I think you’re very pretty, Kaylee.”

She smiled sleepily, but still refused to let go.

“Do you think that you’ll go back to your life before Serenity?” she asked playing with his fingers before he laced his hand with hers.

“I may,” he whispered, “But if I do, I plan to take you with me.”

She only shook her head, nodding off into sleep. “I won’t leave Serenity. I couldn’t leave the Cap’n, I’m needed here.”

Simon nodded, leaned over and kissed her tenderly on the forehead. “Then I guess I’ll be staying too.”

---

Inara swallowed the tears in her throat for the tenth time in the past five minutes.

She refused to cry. She’d cried enough tears for the man who obviously didn’t love her.

But did he? There had been so many sacred moments, awkward touches... surely all of those things meant something.

Perhaps to her, but not to his stone cold heart. And to think that she had hoped he would come after her, beg her to stay and confess his undying love for her.

She caught it in her throat again, but this time it wouldn’t be stopped.

“Why didn’t he ask me to stay?” she whispered to herself.

“Because I didn’t know you wanted me to.”

Inara whirled around to see Mal hiding in the shadows of the doorway as he often did.

“Mal, what are you doing here?” she demanded, wiping quickly at her tears. “How many times have I told you that when I am in my shuttle-”

But he ignored anything she may have been saying and strode up to her. He took the clothes from her hands that she may have been packing and threw it back onto the bed. “Out with it, ‘Nara. I want the truth.”

She simply stared. “I... I don’t know what you-”

“Gorramit, woman.” Mal grumbled a moment before he roughly took hold of her face, pulled her closer and kissed her.

She tasted sweeter than he had ever imagined. The scent she constantly carried with her was stronger now than it ever had been. And the way she was responding to his kiss sent a thrill through his entire being.

He pulled back and let out a deep breath on her lips. “I want you to stay, ‘Nara.” he mumbled. “My feelings haven’t changed since last time you were thinkin’ of leavin’. But if you want to hear my say it, I’ll say it. I want you to stay. Now it’s up to you.” Then he stormed out of the room, leaving her breathless.

Feedback is appreciated. ♥