my dealer: got some straight gas. this strain is called "honorable knight" youll be zonked out of your gourd
me: yeah whatever. i dont feel shit
5 minutes later: only in death does duty end
my buddy pacing: i am the sword and the hand that wields it
Saw some transphobic crackers in Walmart today
Oop lol I didn't realize how targeted that sounded but I'm referring to Harry Potter themed goldfish crackers
severely underrated gag imo is the one where a character turns very slowly and the sounds of stone grinding against stone is superimposed over it
idk what traumatized or mentally ill person needs to hear this but dreams (especially the really disturbing ones you dont want to talk about to anybody) arent some deep peek into your psyche or a sign of your True Desires or whatever theyre quite literally your brain making fruit salad with whatever it can find on the shelf. just putting all that shit in a blender and hitting obliterate. its fine, youre fine, youre not a weirdo for it
Actually forget what I said. This dream is more important than anything
[Image ID: Tumblr tag reading: #i had a dream last night where dwayne the rock johnson got an abortion /End ID]
i don’t feel like debating that topic much farther bc truthfully if it comes down to “women will lose to men in every sport bc they don’t have as much testosterone!!!!!” my elite feminist response is honest to god “ok we will lose with honor as equals instead of having our own special Easy Mode Female category so we can win amongst ourselves” like i’m sorry i just can’t be persuaded. i’m a brick wall. i want co-ed sports
i bring a sort of “women can lose at some sports against men if it means being regarded as equals” vibe to the debate that “testosterone objectively increases performance” people don’t really like
