—diploma, why you not in mai hands nao?
—Last day of classes is the 14th! I cannot wait. I have been working my ass off during the last year+ to get better mentally, to do well, and to succeed. And finally, the proof of my effort is about to make it's self known! I'm basically done with all the essays my school requires for our graduation portfolio, and I will present it Tuesday... NO STRESS, OF COURSE. I'm sure I'll be fine because I'm beastly.
—Today was the (rather unimpressive) award ceremony for graduating students, and I got three awards! I got two subject awards, one for English/Language Arts (cuz of mai writing skillz) and the other was for art (cuz I paintz like pro). The third is this ~prestigious~ award called the Chancellor [of the Department of Ed.]'s Honor Roll for Scholarship. It's the highest award given to a non-valedictorian/salutatorian student. FUCK YEAH, BITCHES.
—The curator lady gave me a camera! I am now her bitch. (Meaning, I have to take lots of street art pictures and also upkeep her tumblr WHICH YOU ALL SHOULD FOLLOW IF YOU LOVE ME.) Apparently, this is the first time ever in the billion years she's worked with my school that she has given an intern a gift. Awesome.
—I don't think I'm going the graduation ceremony. I've given this much thought, and it keeps coming back to me getting really emotional and upset. As much as I love City-As for giving me a second chance, I don't think I will am to keep myself away from thinking: This is the wrong stage. This is the wrong graduation. This is wrong. I fucked everything up. Hunter was where I was supposed to finish, I was supposed to finish with my friends. Fuck fuck fuck fuck... My mom is really pressuring me to go, as are ALL my teachers. I don't want to talk about why, but I might have to to get them to leave me alone. ...But watch it. I'm going to end up going because there's only so much guilt tripping I can stand, and I'm going to try to throw out my diploma after the ceremony and cry all night.
—I got my summer stuff mostly figured out! I am definitely working more with the Whitney Museum in this supaspecialawesome extensive program/internship/fellowship they have. I'm going to be continuing working with real artists and learning up-close-and-personal to real art. I am also probably hopefully going to be working at the mural project some more, and that actually pays! SWEET.
—Got my class selection for Macalester. ALL THE CLASSES LOOK AMAZING. I am going to cry if I don't get this one class called "Ecstasy and Apocalypse: Literature of the Extreme," which deals with apocalyptic worlds in Lit and the dual natures of joy and sorrow. ;____________;
