The fairy queen.

I typed this up from this mornings daily prophet.

dramaticlavy — Fri, 23 Dec 2005 02:59:41 GMT

Former Hogwarts Professor enters "Imperious Plea"

Professor Argle Vector former professor at Hogwarts's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry has entered the imperious plea during the trial of the century, being accused of attempting to murder Harry Potter.

During the second day of the trial Professor Vector claimed that he was put under the imperious curse in July 1998 during a university Muggle studies trip to Amsterdam that he was supervising.
Vector stated to the court that a young man who he recognized as being a former student approached him, although Vector could not remember his name.
The young man assaulted Vector and placed him under the curse ordering him to gain access to Harry Potter's wedding and kill him.

History has proved in the past that it's almost impossible to tell when a person has been subjected to the Imperious curse however Millicent Bulstrode and apprentice unspeakable in the department of mysteries was called to the stand along with her supervisor Amelia Sandstone.
Sandstone and Bulstrode both claimed that they had heard rumors that a member of the Muggle coalition university scholarship program was plotting to murder Harry Potter for a right wing death eater sympathizer terrorist group working in central Asia.
Millicent Bulstrode then claimed that she spent several months under cover interacting with the university students and faculty before deciding it was Argle who was responsible after intercepting his last letter to a Miss Susan Bones (aged nineteen) stating that he would have to leave her due to unforeseen circumstances.

The trial with six days still pending looks grim; unless Argle can prove that he was under the imperious curse he will most likely be sentenced to the full extent of Wizard Law.

Rita Skeeter, court correspondent.

dramaticlavy — Sat, 03 Dec 2005 00:06:43 GMT

Did anyone see what was going on at the front of the wedding? there were over eight hundred people in the church and Michael and I got shoved in the back with Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnigan because we wern't direct family members.
I heard a lot of yelling going on and then there was a bang and next thing I knew we were being interviewed by ministry officials.

When we got to the reception the bride and groom didn't even bother to show up so Michael and I just hung out a bit, ate some free food and then Michael decided to melt all the ice sculptures.
It was funny when all the tables got flooded but I was annoyed because Michael couldn't dance what with his foot and all.
So people tell me! WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED, Hannah you should know because you went with an actual realitive!
Or what about you Dudley? what happened?

dramaticlavy — Wed, 16 Nov 2005 12:02:42 GMT

Well I got my portkey in the post today for Harry's wedding, I was thinking that since most of us are going anyway we should all go as a group.
We should also all sit togethor right? I mean it would feel weird sitting with other people from school because it's not like I've spoken to them very much ever since school ended.

Yesterday I after my method acting class I went down to visit an old friend from school, he seems rather edgy again and he spent the majority of my visit telling me how hideous my outfit was but he's been like this forever.
He seemed a little.. drunk though, oddly enough.

I miss Neville but his been ignoring all my owls, girls should never break up with him because he doesn't know how to handle it.

dramaticlavy — Wed, 02 Nov 2005 10:17:50 GMT

You know whats sad? running into a former Professor at a nightclub of all places.
It's so pathetic when older men attempt to recapture their youth by hitting on young girls.

Other then that Halloween was pretty good, Hannah looked so cute in her blue dress. She told me she was some muggle film character called " Dorothy of Kanas" but of course being Hannah she managed to look like " Dorothy of the brothel" which wasn't entirely her fault.
She could wear a nuns habit and still look sexy, thats the kind of girl she is.

Anyway my bunny costume was so awesome, a perfect tribute to my dear departed pet rabbit.

dramaticlavy — Sun, 16 Oct 2005 04:45:36 GMT

Honestly Michael Corner.
I cannot believe you, I want you to go and apologise to Neville RIGHT NOW and fix this mess!

dramaticlavy — Thu, 13 Oct 2005 11:03:25 GMT

I'm updating from my laptop because I've just seen the most shocking thing ever.
Millicent Bulstrode just apparated into the dressing room of my favourite knickers shop and then proceeded to start trying on black leather corsets.
Black leather corsets.
She is now informing me that she's going to make love to Neville while listening to some song called " We're not going to take it" and then she's going to marry him on a hill with flowers and bunnies hopping about.

OH FUCK she just asked me to be her FUCKING BRIDESMAID.

MICHAEL CORNER WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE? AND DON'T ACT INNOCENT!!!!

dramaticlavy — Sat, 01 Oct 2005 11:21:13 GMT

Class is doing my bloody head in.
We're doing political theatre this semester but most of the plays we're reading have very few female rolls.
My teacher made me play a male Italian Anarchist because I'm the only one who can pull off an Italian accent.
I can only do it because Neville and I had that holiday in Rome a during our sixth year right after Dumbledore's funeral.
Honestly I'm a girl with breats, how could I play a male anarchist? I heard that there are those gender bender sherberts but HONESTLY.

Also if I have to listen to one more snide comment from Dudley about my weight I will not be responsible for what happens, I've always been the same weight and he's just being an arrogant prick!
Why cant people just GET OVER things? so I stood him up once when my friend was in hospital!!! if he doesn't fancy me any more he needs to get over it and act like a civilised human being.

I miss Michael but he's always busy.

My!!

dramaticlavy — Wed, 14 Sep 2005 12:55:17 GMT

Isn't this a fantastic picture? and I found it in a muggle magazine of all places!! I was sitting in my lecture this morning minding my own business when Daphnee White of all people started shrieking and pointing at her magazines.
This happens quite often when she reads something about muggle actors having sex with their servants so I wasn't that shocked.
But then she sat next to me and showed me something called " the best dressed list" and there was a photo of me! the last time I was wearing that outfit was when Michael took me to some sort of party a few nights ago where I ended up meeting a bunch of muggles I didn't know!
Lots of them had cameras but I didn't take much notice at the time because they were taking photos of everthing!

Honestly I'm not even wearing my best dress in this picture, of course I am wearing my great grandmothers black pearl necklace and if she wasn't dead she'd be dead pleased.
There was also this article thing speculating how I get my hair so bouncy and shiny! they said I used leave in conditioner and I didn't have the heart to correct Daphnee by telling her I use illegal south america ingrediants.

WHAT THE HELL???

dramaticlavy — Wed, 17 Aug 2005 11:39:07 GMT

MICHAEL CORNER WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON, WHY ARE YOU ENDORSING BAD CLOTHING?
WHY ARE YOU PLAYING MUGGLE GAMES?
WHY DID THAT STORY HAVE A PICTURE OF SOME WOMAN NAMED GINGER SPICE PINCHING YOUR BOTTOM?

dramaticlavy — Sat, 13 Aug 2005 00:53:38 GMT

You know I really don't like New York all that much, it's dirty and everything smells. Yesterday I saw a man urinate in the street, the whole place reminds me of Nocturne Alley.

After I saw the man urinating publicly Lockhart took us to a a murder scene. Some one had been shot in their apartment in downtown Brooklyn the day before and Lockhart dragged us in telling the police that we were a special homicidal branch from England.
It really was ghastly.

When we kill some one ( not that I ever would) it's over so quickly but in New York people stab each other with umbrellas!! how terrible!!

Today we're going to watch something called a "mugging" in central park and I assume it's similiar to a muggle.

Gosh these muggle Brownie things taste good!!

dramaticlavy — Thu, 28 Jul 2005 10:23:20 GMT

You know I have no idea WHY Susan is complaining!!! I love Amsterdam, it really is such a glorious city filled with so many glorious people who shine through the sky like drops of golden light.

I feel so free, so filled with this inner sense of harmony that usually I can only achieve after six hours of meditation.
Suddenly the world is such a pretty, simple, lovely place and I know the truth!!

Michael, my darling Mickey Mackey Michael I forgive you for what you have done. For it's only through forgiveness that we can truly grow and better ourselves as people. You are truly a unique soul and althougudsh you have made mistaskerd in the past I FORGIVE YOU, TRULY!!!

There are people dancing about in the fountain in their swimsuites, I will go join them!!!

dramaticlavy — Fri, 22 Jul 2005 11:02:00 GMT

Today I was out shopping with a friend of mine from school, well he wasn't really my friend during school because he was evil and all. We ended up becomming friends when his mother tried to force me to marry him until she found out my grandfather on my dads side was muggle born and there for my blood was "tainted" or whatever.
From what he told me around a year ago he had some sort of epiphany at the end of our sixth year, so he's still an arse hole but he figured out he couldn't bring himself to kill another person.
Anyway when his mother forced me to go to his house for tea we ending up bonding over my Gladrags dragon skin hand bag and we've been shopping partners ever since.

Today we were shopping for wedding presents, well I was and when I told him that it was for Harry Potter he started coughing violently.
It's so sad really, he had this pathetic crush on him and he even tried to use Pansy Parkinson of all people as his "beard". I guess I kinda hoped that Harry Potter would turn out gay because yeah my friend can be a dick to some people but he's just misunderstood and he's pretty smart and sensitive when you get to know him.
I guess I was living in a romantic fantasy because Harry isn't even gay and if he was he would never ever date this guy.

Oh well, I guess I've been living in a romantic fantasy when it comes to a lot of things.
While we were checking out the wedding registry at flourish and blotts we actually ran into HARRY which was just horrible.
My friend ended up hiding behind a shelf of Martin the Mad Muggle comics while I talked to Harry. He asked me if Neville and I were free for dinner on saturday because he wanted us to meet his fiance, and I had to tell him I was busy going to a play but I had an extra ticket because my boy.. well sort of, maybe, I dont' know really boyfriend has been put under house arrest.
When I told him who was in the play he got really excited and he says he's going to come!!!

Anyway after he left my friend came back out looking really pale and sick and then he ended up buying forty three new silk scarves which he only ever does whenever he's upset. He then had to go because he was meeting Parkinson for Dinner, I'm his shopping buddy while Parkinson is his booze buddy.

I still have all these new shoes sitting in neatly in their boxes and I haven't even tried them on yet.

dramaticlavy — Sat, 09 Jul 2005 13:03:13 GMT

I..........I'm going home for the rest of the weekend, father said it was a good idea to stay away from the press in case the owner of the Cauldron shack's daughter was seen "implicated" in an obvious case of muggle baiting which ended in over five hundred muggles needing to be memory charmed.

Michael I'm sorry but I draw the line at turning innocent people into animals, there is wacky and then there is cruel.
I don't want to see you anymore.

The play!!

dramaticlavy — Sat, 09 Jul 2005 11:16:00 GMT

I'm updating in the middle of the plays intermission because I'm just so excited I could not stop myself from telling you all about it!!!

So far my theatrical debue has been flawness, I've remembered every single line and the great thing about being british is that I don't need to fake my dead posh Titania accent!

I would also like to say that Michael happens to be the most wonderful boy in the world!! ok so he woke me up at seven am to make me listen to a radio station where he'd dedicated a song for me but he also bought me new shoes!! I spent all day on a treasure hunt for new shoes and it ended with him MAKING ME A TITANIA COSTUME TO MATCH THE WINGS HE MADE.
No boy has ever made me an original piece of clothing before unless you count the time Neville made that necklace out of butterbeer corks during detention!
Can you believe that he made me this? my mother was so impressed when I told her that my costume was made by my boyfriend! I just got her to take a photo on Hannah's digital camera so I could show it to all of you, it's a muggle one so the pictures don't move.. oh well!!! I'm not wearing the wings in this picture because my sister Rosie was playing with them.

Anyway I have to finish up now because after this scene with Hermia I'm supposed to wake up and fall in love with Bottom, I hope I don't giggle because Michael always brushes the love flower on my eyes and he knows I'm ticklish!

It's almost time for my curtain call so I better close this laptop, hnmmm that's weird.. why are there boys in the front row with masks on?

dramaticlavy — Fri, 01 Jul 2005 12:04:46 GMT

Obviously Michael and I need to work on our communication skills because he can't tell when I'm being sarcastic.
In case you missed it Michael posted a picture of his penis in his journal. of course it's been deleted now but really that is beside the point.

My boyfriend is crazy, I have officially come to accept this and obviously Cho and Ginny put up with it due to the size of his package.
As of yet I have not seen this package up close and personal and I doubt I will anytime soon because Michael has been sent home again.

DESPITE THE FACT WE ARE PERFORMING OUR PLAY VERY SOON.

dramaticlavy — Tue, 28 Jun 2005 02:14:34 GMT

I've come to the conclusion that in the end a stupid list doesn't matter because the girls on the list most likely earned their place due to their black leather cat suites.
What matters is the opinion of the people you care about and how they see you, sure it's a little unflattering that certain males thing I'm ugly and unattractive but other males think I'm pretty so I guess it doesn't matter right?

Anyway I had a fantastic time last night, Michael showed up at my bedroom while I was in my pyjamma's and he insisted on taking me on this excursion which was really weird and yet strangely fun. He took me to this muggle thing called a movie set, apparently some company called BBC was recreating a very old book in the form of a television series!! isn't that interesting?
Anyway they let us walk about because they said we were something called "extra's" they dressed us up in these very pretty old clothes and I was made to walk around in a river for a forty minutes before I decided it was boring and we left.
Still I got a photo taken, see?

Michael then took me to this thing in london called a Ferris Wheel and it was so amazing! we were still wearing our costumes so we got a few odd looks but it didn't matter because once we were up in the air nobody paid attention to us. The Ferris Wheel was like a giant wheel and it swooped so high you could see all the lights of London, it was just like flying accept much more comfortable and I could do it with another person!!!

I've decided that I've also come to another conclusion, I like Michael and I don't care about what any of you think about it.
He's a good person and even if he is a little insane it's his insanity that makes things more fun and it allows me to do things I never thought I'd do.

dramaticlavy — Sun, 26 Jun 2005 11:13:16 GMT

...neville?

dramaticlavy — Fri, 24 Jun 2005 09:59:30 GMT

Still no word on whether Lockhart has found Michael yet.
Currently I'm back at my flat because although one can live in a teacup one wishes after a few hours that they didn't.
Besides it's not like anything is going to happen because if it was it already would and I'm starting to think that I read the situation the wrong way.
I mean watching those movie things is fun and building a pink roof is fun but there has to be more to life then well that....

Which is why I'm back here, I've just gotten back from my play rehersal and it's all going well even if our fairy king is something of a dirty perv.

Well!

dramaticlavy — Sun, 19 Jun 2005 03:56:26 GMT

Well it seems like everyone had a really interesting night last Thursday.
I was in my dormitory when Hannah came past my open doorway at around four am dressed in a leather cat suite while riding some drunk guy like a horse, of course I couldn't see who it was exactly because he was wearing a mask.
I'm not sure what happened to Susan however accept she's now a brunette and she kept making groaning noises whenever I tried to talk to her on Friday.

Considering that both of them were so hung over it wasn't even funny I went to see Michael and I think he's feeling pretty down.
I mean he has been trapped in a tea cup for eight days now and I would help him if I actually knew where Lockhart was, but then again it's hard to tell if Michael is depressed or not because his mood swings are so violent.

I got a letter from my mother today and she says she's coming to see me in my play although I suspect she's only coming so she can criticize me. She says Rosie is leaving school on Thursday for the year and I will have to watch her every Friday while she has her stupid garden club meetings.
Honestly Rosie is always thirteen now, she's old enough to take care of herself or at least hire her own Nanny.

OH ALSO BEFORE I FORGET!!! I went down to the portkey station so I could meet a friend of mine because he informed me that he had some more of that special shampoo from Brazil. Anyway he wasn't there but the boy who lived was there with some random blond chick, they wear heading towards the Scotland Portkeys and I only managed to get a quick photo of her on my camera phone..but look!!
She must be the girl every ones talking about in the paper, it's weird though because I was so sure he was gay!

Isn't she just ghastly? Honestly even Susan looks better!

Hello Neville!

dramaticlavy — Mon, 13 Jun 2005 10:58:10 GMT

Susan and I will be going back with you to asia and it would be nice if you would escort us to Hong Kong so we can go shopping and then head off to Disney land Hong Kong.
You have no say in the matter what so ever! if you protest I will tell every one about who you fancy ( and don't think I will, this is an emergency after all)

Anyway I have to go to a rehersal before we depart and I'm not sure how we're going to do the critical scenes without Puck but the puppet our director has been using all week makes a pretty good substitute.

dramaticlavy — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 10:23:43 GMT

Dudley I'm sorry but I couldn't make it to the resturant on time you see there was a bit of an accident and now I'm in the hospital pretending to be french.

PROFFESOR VECTOR WHERE ARE YOU?

Day Three

dramaticlavy — Sat, 11 Jun 2005 05:13:49 GMT

So far Michael Corner has not removed his gag and I have discovered he has used a form of the sticking charm which recognises voice patterns.
Basically the gag won't come off until he says a "saftey" word, I've heard that this sort of thing is popular in Europe.

All attempts to make him take the gag off have failed, including Susan Bone's grinding against him while wearing hot pink hot pants and a bikini top ( yes I am not kidding).
I'm really getting sick and tired of this and thank god my room mate left for summer hols early. I've had to change my clothes in the bathroom because even if he is gay he still has no right to see me naked.
Yesterday I tried to piss him off by ripping up his fairy wings but it turned out he has an entire CLOSET filled with them, go figure.
I've also noticed he's been looking at my fairy wing barbie collection with a hungry expression on his face and I'm getting a little worried.

Todays saturday which means I'll be going on my big date tonight, I don't know what I'll do with Michael if he hasn't taken his gag off by then.

dramaticlavy — Thu, 09 Jun 2005 10:45:10 GMT

Hello everyone.
I currently have in posession one Michael Corner who refuses to take his gag or bonds off.
After realising that he cannot drown because his kind floats I've been forced to take drastic measures.
If you hate Michael I am giving you free reign to do what ever you can to make sure he takes off his gag, of course you can't kill him but everything else is free game.

Have fun torturing him!

dramaticlavy — Wed, 08 Jun 2005 11:22:13 GMT

o basically Susan Bone's is throwing her bitch cakes around, again.
Is any one else getting a little sick and tired of her constantly calling people sluts and whores? I mean not only is it totally deeming to woman it can also be used as an excuse to sue her for defemation of character.

My friend Ellie whose studying law over on the other side of the campus told me that you can sue some one if you write a statement which leads a person to be ridiculed, harrassed or shunned.
By calling me a whore on the net (several times) you have lead many to believe that I am in fact a prostitute Susan.

Of course I wouldn't dream of doing anything as childish as sueing you Miss Bones but I suggest you shut your mouth because I cant promise that my father will be so mature.

Anyway I have to go to play rehersals, we have to take Michael to see the director and we're going to have to full body bind him before to make sure he doesn't escape.

Ta ta darlings!

Attention Michael Corner.

dramaticlavy — Sun, 29 May 2005 12:16:11 GMT

You can run but you cannot hide, I am sick and tired of you shirking your responsibilities.
I am going to find you before Lockhart does and you better hope I'm in a good mood when I do!