To participate or not...

I very briefly waded through a couple of the comms today, particular savecoffeeboy. TBH, it's been a bit too raw for me to venture onto any of the comms lately...I've been sticking to friends' journals and old fic, really.

It seems this whole uproar over Ianto being killed off is getting some attention. That's a good thing, I think. I'm just not sure where I fit in it, whether I'd like to participate or not. In one regard, there seems to be a bit of hope out there, especially now that people are paying attention to the fact that fans are upset. On the other hand, I don't want to have hope. I'd rather just be pleasantly surprised if they bring Ianto back.

But then it gets into the details of how long I'll hang out in this fandom if I'm not all into hoping for Ianto to be back. I love my friends here, and the fic, and really, I have sort of come to terms with CoE, and have even re-watched all the brutal bits. But I do fandom jump, and I wonder if a show without Ianto has the ability to retain my interest.

Then again, do I want to be sending letters and coffee and complaining, etc? I don't know if I'm that motivated, and I don't care to emotionally invest myself that much if it's a fruitless cause.

Add in the fact that I'm not sure what I actually want to happen with regard to Ianto's fate. There's part of me that doesn't want a cop out, where they cave and find a way to bring him back. Granted, that part is outweighed by the massive part of me that just wants my fandom and pairing back the way it was.

So, who knows, really? All I do know is that if I were to be involved, it would be casually and it would be civil. But I'm having a tough time even watching comms right now. Granted, it's only been a week, but it feels longer, and I'm sort of already detaching out of necessity, I think.

I feel entirely too melodramatic even posting this. Where are you all at on this stuff?