fright, fight or might as well write

This is how I remember the house of Tita Emy in Bulacan. Growing up, it has been a family tradition to visit my mother’s hometown during Christmas and the town’s fiesta. We would usually stay for several days to spend time with my grandparents and cousins. Those trips became a treasured part of my childhood. My cousins and I were the innocent, carefree children, savoring the simple joys life had to offer.

When my grandparents passed away, we settled for day trips, since we no longer have a place to stay. When the pandemic struck, this family tradition ended in the most unexpected and painful way.

It started when my uncle passed away from sleep last July 2021. On August, Covid took away Tita Emy’s life. By early September, my own mother also succumbed to the virus.

For the longest time, I wanted to visit Bulacan with my Dad and special brother. I wanted the three of us to visit Tita Emy’s resting place. We will always have a special relationship with Tita Emy. She was one of the few relatives who have never forgotten my special brother. Every year, Tita Emy will always have something for my special brother. When my brother had an injury, Tita Emy took the time to personally see my brother. From my end, I’ll never forget how Tita Emy proudly spoke about me to my own mother. At that time when my mother was worried for my collegiate studies, Tita Emy assured my mother that I will land on a university and will eventually finish my studies. She never forgets us in her prayers., supported and uplifted us in many ways.

On the time Tita Emy was sick and eventually succumb to Covid, we failed to do anything for her. We were bound by quarantine restrictions. In addition, my mother was taking all means to protect herself and my special brother. Despite all the safety measures, Covid still hit and devastated our families.

A few days ago, I finally had the chance to visit Bulacan.. In a span of four years, much has already changed. The streets looked different. Most of the houses were already renovated.. Houses made of wood, capiz windows and front garden are already gone.

Tita Emy’s house are one of those that are gone, forever. The entire house has been demolished because according to my cousin, it would be costlier to have it renovated. They also intend to flood proof their houses. In effect, they built an elevated two-storey house.

While part of me feels a degree of sadness, I was amazed by how my cousins thrived in life. Most of them already have their own families. They have stable jobs, businesses and are great providers to their families. All of them have their own comfortable homes. In my mind, I still see them as my cousin playmates, who formed my growing up years.

Most of my cousins chose to remain in the province. Most of them are public school teachers, one even became an elected official and those who work abroad still chose to build their families in Bulacan.

I found myself quietly admiring their simple and peaceful life. Living in the province shielded them from the chaos and complications of city life. They may not have immediate access to the conveniences we often see on social media, but they already have everything they truly need. It felt as if my cousins had never let go of the happiness, contentment, and simplicity we all once shared in childhood.

Sometimes, I wonder how life would be, if my parents chose to stay in the province. But life had other plans. I’d like to believe that I was meant to be where I am for a reason. And whatever that reason may be, I can only hope it leads me to a life filled with joy, simplicity, and contentment.

Easter Sunday of 2025

I can’t believe it’s been almost two years since I posted anything here. Had it been two years since 2023? After browsing, I noticed that I blog every two years. So much has happened, I don’t anymore know where and how to start.

I still work for the same company. If there’s anything, I never expected to be promoted five years ago. I can’t even remember if I mentioned it here. Our office also expanded its operations. My functions expanded, yet my salary remained the same. I still live with my Dad and special brother. Speaking of, we conquered a lot in the past two years. We survived the two hospital confinements of my brother. While I’m thankful, my current struggle involves all the bills I have to pay. I balance this with the growing expenses at home and the need to save for my retirement. I’m praying for additional freelance work and earnings. In the long run, I’m hoping to have a source of passive income. Dad has some health concerns, which I hope will be addressed on his next check up. And yours truly also has health concerns. I was declared pre-diabetic with critical cholesterol level. I was ordered to drink maintenance medicine to control further spike in my cholesterol level. I’m paying my unhealthy lifestyle with Rosuvastatin and strict diet.

Before the Holy Week break, I had a presentation at work. It was one of those days that pushed me to make career decisions. It dawned on me, all my efforts will never be satisfactory enough to some people. At some point, I felt challenged. I received the most discouraging words, yet I was feeling compelled to prove something. It led to a crying episode on one weekend. One thing I learned, don’t make decisions when your emotions are heightened. A few more days and with the presence of someone, I cried and let out everything. It didn’t change the workplace’s outlook, but it felt better after releasing my emotions.

Prior to this critical presentation at work, my paternal family was shaken with a legal battle. One of my cousins was pressed with legal charges and has been detained for almost two weeks. One of my aunties contributed financial resources, while I did most of the paper and leg works. My other cousin was also doing other means to seek help. This was one thing I never thought I would experience in my lifetime. Dealing with the regional trial court has contributed to my list of not-so-pleasant experiences with a government agency. It almost equated to my experiences with SSS and Local Civil Registry Office. The experience also gave me some realizations

1. Both and National and Local government units should review their list of required documents. I found some documents as irrelevant, outdated and redundant. For instance, I was asked to generate a vicinity map. Computer generated maps are not accepted, it has to be manually made and signed by the barangay captain. To be honest, who else uses atlas or manual maps these days? There is google maps, waze and instant street review. Type the address and it will provide directions in seconds.
2. They don’t really specify what they need. On the first time, they only ask for the original copies of the documents. On the second time, they demanded for the official receipt. On the third time, they asked for a dry seal of the document. Can’t they just provide a matrix that details everything they need?
3. Lastly, I swore to never be one of those employees I encountered in the regional trial court. They have an office assistant, who don’t seem to be fully aware of the functions and services of their office. The other female employees were “nonchalant,” when you enter the office. It would take several minutes before someone attends to your concern. The female employees are wearing bedroom slippers while inside the office. (Pet peeve, please buy comfortable shoes.) I don’t think we need a law to explain that such practice is unprofessional.
4. Lastly, I was referred to several offices before I was able to secure the documents I needed. On one hand, I felt stupid. On the other hand, it felt like no one came to fully understand my concern. I don’t know… at the workplace, I always ensure to assist parents, students and colleagues I encounter. I’m fully aware that not everyone is familiar with the internal processes. Not all clients are repeat end users. Some or most of them are first timers. Instead of making their lives miserable, I chose to rather provide them pleasant experiences. Life is hard, let’s not make it harder for others.

I’m almost in the brink of preparing a blog post of the requirements needed and techniques to deal with the regional trial court. Although I felt it was bit off because it is definitely a service we don’t wish to avail. Likewise, whoever googles “requirements needed to process… in the regional trial court.” It’s not a common service for everyone. If someone probably requests it, I may write about it.

Though to be fair, not all government agencies gave me unpleasant experiences. There are still those with a more efficient and customer oriented practices. The Home Mutual Development Fund (Pag-ibig Fund) and Department of Trade and Industry gave me better experiences.

At this point, I guess I’m done with my rants. :p

On the positive side, I’m thankful for the week long break. It gave me an opportunity to rest and spend more time with my Dad and brother.