Entwined

Their metrics are different than mine

I’ve often requestioned our full relation

If any, other than some past ancestral

We’ve oft clashed throughout our lives

But I feel more thoroughly related to

Those who seem a further distance away

Life is a charade in more ways than one

As life’s restrictive strings feel so taught

And I admit I can be at odds with myself

When my human emotions feel so strong

I know distinction between right or wrong

But sometimes I ignore their factual truths

Not to win over the others but to be saved

From the wrong ending… in the right way

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Personages

On occasions, I feel like a rogue echo

Or dislodged particle of dust from time

Drifting out of my purpose filled life

And no mission nor destination to arrive

I’m beyond humanic pale comprehension

Where all those forgotten might still exist

Unless recalled by a brief human memory

Only to slip away again and just as easily

We glance off of absent-minded thoughts

The way a bullet ricocheted off a surface

We might leave a smug but nothing more

And once tangible enough to emote emotions

When living love lit up dreams or night stars

And when our quaint absence… mattered

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Foibles

There are those who’ll love bomb us

After they’ve discovered our freshness

Only to taste a strange sense of immunity

So, they change up their modus operandi

Stay in our orbit by faint hope and breath

A glimmer now and to expose their presence

But they’ll maintain a bated breath distance

Fail to understand the revelation of time

It’s not about our immunity but compatibility

As time itself exposes their true aloofness

They’ll visit other former galaxies in search

For familiar craving of simulated affirmation

While closed eyes imagine the soothing touch

When authenticity created… invented quivers

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Choices

I forced every tiny conversations

Even the ones I didn’t really want

My emotions felt every tragedy

And like the scars left on my soul

I hid away the unknown secretes

In dusty halls of silence awaiting me

To later reverberate as their echoes

To sift through every faked particle

And save others from life’s reality

I can still recall every dialog uttered

As if it only happened yesterday

And always ended by my forgiveness

I’m left alone in this desperate rhelm

As a taxation for their… freedom

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Faintly

The ease of a breeze slightly disturbs

A surface as if its undercurrent emotes

There are times when emotional waves

Are greater than my bulwark resistance

And like a lone beach, I’m overwhelmed

Soaked by both scars and a fuller reality

As time continues by, I’ll slowly absorb

The gravity and granules of complexity

Time: is a threshold I can’t manipulate

Nor can I escape from its severing hands

I’m at mercy of charity within a universe

Where I will sometimes drift off in dreams

The way a whisper utters hidden prayers

As light ever gently refracts…off my face

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Picturesque

Some silences might actually be beneficial

Stillness has an inherent appeal all its own

While others leave us feeling uncomfortable

Sometimes the prosaic is the hardest to avoid

Especially if dialogues are laced by bitterness

Moves are defined as more than destinational

Choosing to remain beset can be a calculation

There are tentative times we feel obliged to act

As a taught knot betwixt diametric dichotomies

Life often tries to wield us because of petulance

Circumstances usually make harsh landscapes

Appear more like life’s disadvantage battlefields

Morality mountains may feel like isolated islands

One’s first move might be…a fuller perspective

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Backdraft

Listening, but at times observing tv shows

As night slowly becomes life’s newest dawn

Sometimes they’re one or two decades old

When times and living lives felt much easier

Referred to as bygone days other’s call refreshers

But somehow, I feel lost from those former era’s

A time when things and people in life mattered

When impromptu weather was all that changed

When living our life was still a substantial gain

I admit at times I see myself further zombified

Like some echo of oppressed disturbance aloft

When in reality, I just need a minute to breathe

A few moments to usher in unwanted changes

Not feel so exposed within each…waking moment

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Induvial

Fifteen hundred days later, I’m still dragged along

And in every passing moment the silence gets louder

Tomorrow will feel as rough as any of my yesterday’s

For now, I’m attempting to find my way in today’s maze

Half of the time I tend to trek in circles unwittingly

While the silence cuts through me like a knife

I try to act braver, but I only feel weak from bleeding

Life has become everything else but living

I’ve heard every stale version of letting go years ago

While they meant well, I can tell they’ve never loved

Love isn’t forever if it so inconveniently disposed of

But with every heartbeat there’s a toll to pay

One day all I’ll have left are fading whispers

As my heartbeats become… reverberating silence

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Pillar

Time once gifted to our hearts

Emotional bonds or easy grins

Patching damage left by others

We bonded in ways other didn’t

Then is a slow intimate instant

Time became the guiltier hands

Holding a knife tip to my heart

Threatening sudden penetration

Emotions froze, thoughts erratic

Heartbeats became inconsistent

I lost skill at impromptu topics

And meaningless conversations

Her passing felt more as a bullet

Left me with her loves…exit scar

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Inopportune

I wasn’t who they seen me as

But then again, I can’t fault them

They weren’t any more authentic

Than I was pretending to be myself

I was young and fitting into a role

That’s what immaturity acts like

Not that it’s an excuse: it’s a stage

A poor position making hard progress

More likely to be misread than understood

It’s meant to be that way for all concerned

In the same fashion of growth by desire

If you don’t hunger for it, you don’t feed it

But like all knowledge, it’s a dual edge sword

At times we bleed ourselves… to death

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