Join us, sacrifice your dignity.
Why the crime-drama can never die.
Featuring Nick Kroll and Paul Scheer.
Amir and Sarah sit down with undie run legend Bob Applebob.
You can't teach skill.
And he makes it look easy.
A sketch about nothing.
Helping people look hotter since 1990.
I need 20 CC's of gibberish.
Do your parents not understand technology? Do they ask you stupid questions? Do they send you absurd text messages? Do they use words like "MyFace," "SpaceBook,"or "The World Wide Web?"
If you've got an example of your Parents Just Don't Understanding, submit it here!
And thank God we'll never be as dumb as they are!

My mom just spent 10 minutes trying to get a CD out of the computer. She would right click and hit "open," then would look at CD drive not opening, X out of the CD files that just opened, then right click and repeat again and again. She said open and eject are synonymous and it should have worked.
Adam F
My mom just got my dad an iPad for his fantasy baseball. He has it working for the most part, except when he goes back to his laptop at home now he tries to touch the screen to move and click. I’ll see him with his finger on the screen, I will stare for a minute and say, “Hey dad, what are doing?” He looks at me, confused for a second, then realizes what he’s doing.
Stacey S from ycp
Today, I taught my mom how to play movies on my PS3. Not only did she refuse to believe the start button was used to pause the movie, but she wrote down everything I said as if it were a recipe.
Carlos R.
I set my dad's email up as his homepage at his office. Now, when he is home, he thinks that he can't look at his email because it "only goes to his office."
Matt A from RU
My parents were convinced the first 5 minutes of Red Dead Redemption was a movie.
Ryan M
Sure, professional athletes make tons of money. But in these economic times, it's not easy to get by on just a few million dollars. Fortunately, they can supplement their meager incomes with endorsement contracts. But what company to endorse? This handy flowchart has the answers:
OMG Cat is the nickname of a cat from Japan named Chocolate. Chocolate's owner first posted some pictures of the slack jawed cat because he wanted to know what to do about Chocolate's dislocated jaw. That same night he decided to film Chocolate at the urging of some friends who saw the pictures and thought they were hilarious. Thankfully, Chocolate got the help she needed and is all healed up.
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Scalding hot coffee thrown in face
Feasibility of getting yourself carried everywhere
Names remembered
Number of interns who are hot girls
Miscommunications in the HR department
Time spent holding own d*ck while peeing
Chances that interns actually made this article
Bumper stickers really do say a lot about the driver. Even before reading one, you know they're a sad excuse for a human being.
View the Gallery
I'm glad he's taking the time to improve his swagger. We all know what happens to swaggerless celebrities: They're exiled to Pennsylvania.
GROSS!

I work in support at a local Internet Provider/Computer Service shop. An old couple came in and visited, and said that a coworker was fixing their dial-up over the phone and the monitor stopped working. They thought the two issues were related, so I explained to them that, "it's like if you are cutting your fingernail and your leg falls off." She gave me a disgusted look, and I didn't really know why... until she walked away with a prosthetic leg.
-Ian R.
My summer job is changing electrical meters. This involves shutting off the power at each house for about 5 seconds. Most people are incredibly sour about this. So, the other day I told a woman what was happening and she said "ok just give me a minute, I just want to shut off my computer." 15 minutes later she comes out with a grilled cheese sandwich in her hand and said "go ahead."
-City Worker
As a Mental Health Counselor on a locked inpatient behavioral health unit, I had to do "checks" on patients every 15 minutes. An old, wrinkly, little Asian man with paranoid schizophrenia made sure to be completely undressed & masturbate in my direction every time I checked in on him for almost 2 HOURS, moaning in Vietnamese. He then followed me out into the hallway, still naked, & wiped his hands ON a little old lady with Alzheimer's. I can't even make this shit up.
-Grayce I.
I worked in a fast food restaurant when I was 16. We hired this new girl, and I was the one training her. So, I'm taking her around and we get to the fry station. We stayed there for about 15 minutes so she could figure out how many fries to put in the basket, which button to hit, etc. Just as we're about to walk away, she points to some charred fries that are floating on top of the fry grease, looks at me and asks "how do we get those out?" Now, obviously, there's a steel net we use to grab them. However, I JOKINGLY said "we just grab them with our hands."
This video is supposed to be the greatest day in Adrien Brody's life. Every day that I watch it is the greatest day of my life.
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Being the hero in an action movie isn't all about kicking evil in the teeth, leaping away from explosions, and making glamorous love while a hit single plays delicately in the background. Sometimes you need to touch a computer. For those times, here's a handy flow chart for how to hack any system, provided you're in an action movie.
Zach Galifianakis Hires Aziz As a Swagger Coach
For those who prefer watching video games to playing them
They told him not to rewatch "Sweet November"
You had me at "hallucinogenic"
This galaxy ain't big enough for the both of us
Who knew Benjamin Button was a Phillies fan?
There's a method to the financial failure
The 9 subtlest ways to brag about having a girlfriend
Yeah, Facebook is SO annoying. I'm going to post this as my status.
H-E double tetromino sticks
Dorkly: The 7 Best and 7 Worst Sidekicks In Videogame History
TheChive Best Photos of the Week
We call this the poor man's Left 4 Dead
"Today I stumbled upon 'Canned Unicorn Meat'. I wonder if it's Kosher or not...MLIJ"
We knew the shrooms would get to him some day
Whatchu talkin' bout Jesus?
The Titanic will have significantly more mermaid civil war this time around
Well, now there are two reasons I wish I didn't miss the MTV Awards
Hot girls are bad at buttoning shirts. Also, wearing undershirts
Hot tradition vs. hot ingenuity