Genderqueers.com F.A.Q. v1.0

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What does the term "genderqueer" actually mean?
The term "genderqueer" is a relatively new term in gender theory and identity, only becoming popular within the last couple of years. Basically when used as an identity, genderqueer means that person's gender is not contained within the traditional gender binary -- this means that they might identify as transgendered, transsexual, non-gendered, poly-gendered...the list is infinite. Genderqueer is to the male/female gender binary (or genderstraight) as being queer is to being straight -- the term queer encompasses anything that is outside the "norm." But, as should be remembered with all identities, it is up to the person to decide what it actually means, and the term genderqueer's definition is unique for every person who uses it to describe themselves.

How is gender different than sex?
Sex is based on a person's anatomy -- their chromosones, hormones, and physical features. Generally, a person with a penis is categorized as a man and a person with no penis (or a vagina) is categorized as a womyn. There are options outside of the sex binary categorized as intersex and that is covered in another F.A.Q. answer. Basically, sex is something physical and tangible -- it is something we can "see." Gender, on the other hand, is intangible -- it is a construct of society and the mind. We asociate a "male" gender with the male sex because it is what our society expects us to do, and along with this association come many rules of gender -- for men, in American culture, gender rules are things like being strong, being the "bread winner," or being level-headed. These rules of gender change in every culture, but in every culture these rules exist in some form. Gender is a learned characteristic, and people who do not fulfill their "expected" gender are often shunned or harassed. This can be a really hard concept for most people, but one book that explains it extremely well is Kate Bornstein's My Gender Workbook (see the reading list/bookstore on this site for more suggestions).

When a person changes their sex, does their gender also change?
No. Gender and sex, despite popular belief, are not connected. Someone's sex is not indicative of their gender and vice-versa. When a person goes through some aspect of sexual reassignment, they may feel it is to accommodate their gender, but that is not always the case. There are many many people who undergo some part of sexual reassignment simply because they feel more comfortable in the body of a different sex than what they were born, but feel their gender has nothing to do wth this change.

What is transgender?
In the classical sense, transgender is when someone identifies as a gender that is not the one that is associated with their sex. A person with a vagina who has been termed as a womyn may consider hirself transgendered if ze identifies as a man. Sometimes transgender is explained as "born as one thing, but living as another." While being transgendered often means a man transitioning towards being a woman (male-to-female, MTF, or M2F) or a womyn transitioning towards being a man (female-to-male, FTM, or F2M), but many transgendered people identify as transitioning more-so away from gender than into another gender -- this is often an aspect of being genderqueer. The option that most transgendered people at least consider is sexual reassignment, hormone therapy, and surgery (crudely called a "Sex change operation"). These things are explained in other F.A.Q. answers.

What is transsexual?
A transsexual person is often someone who lives as a sex that they were not born as, either by trying to appear or "pass" as a differnet sex or through surgery and hormones to "officially" become a different sex.

What is intersex?
Intersex is a combination of male and female anatomy and genetic make-up in a person. There are technical explanations and reasons that explain this (see the Intersex section of the links), but they are beyond the scope of this F.A.Q. Often crudely referred to as "hermaphrodites," being intersex is completely natural and does not need to be "corrected," although unfortunately often doctors convince the parents of intersex children into "corrective" surgery to make their child appear either male or female.

Is there a connection between gender and sexual orientation?
Sexual orientation is as unlimited as gender -- there are infinite variations (just like gender), and while often sexual orientation is seen in conjunction with gender, one is not indicative of the other.

What is hormone therapy and what does it do to the body?
Answer coming soon.

What should I do if I think I might be genderqueer/transgendered/transsexual?
The most important thing you can do for yourself is to make sure no matter how you identify or how you might feel about identifying in a certain way is to love and respect your body no matter what because there's absolutely nothing wrong with you. There are several wonderful books out there (especially Bornstein's My Gender Workbook), magnificent websites (see our links section) and online communities (our own community forum for this site has a special section for coming out issues and advice). If you feel comfortable enough talking to other people in person or seeking other people out, try calling a local GLBTQ center or PFLAG and seeing if there are any trans groups in your area. This site will soon have a section up on coming out including coming out letters and recommended resources.

My child/relative/friend is genderqueer/transgendered/transsexual -- what should I do?
Above all, be supportive, ask questions, and try to learn as much as you can. Ask this person what pronouns you should use when refering to them and if they prefer a new or different name (and remember that pronouns and preferred names can change often). Remember, too, that just because a person is trans and/or genderqueer does not mean that they're a different person than who you knew before they came out. There are many resources online that can help you learn about what it means to be gender variant as well as groups that can help you deal and accept the person in your life. This site's own community forum has a board for friends of gender variant people that may prove to be useful.

If you have a question that was not answered, feel that the information given in this F.A.Q. is innacurate, or would like to report an error, please email linus@genderqueers.com.

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